Chapter Sixteen: Revelations

"And you may be sure your sin will find you out."

Numbers 32:23b

Remus tiredly rubbed his eyes and took another sip of the highly caffeinated coffee. Sirius and Lily both assured him they were all safe and sound at the school but something nagged him in the back of his mind. As much as he hated his lupine attributes, this second instinct had proved extremely useful so he listened to it whenever he told him danger was on the way.

"Padfoot."

The other man, who was sprawled out in the Gryffindor dormitory bed, groaned in his sleep but didn't say anything else.

"Padfoot!"

The bare foot hanging over the edge of the bed twitched.

"PADFOOT!"

"I already paid for the drinks!" Sirius sat up in the bed and blearily looked around the dorm room. "This isn't the Leaky Cauldron."

"No," Remus answered. "Do you have the Marauder's Map with you?"

"You couldn't have used a accio charm for this?"

"Not since you put an anti-accio jinx on it."

Sirius drug a hand over his face. "Bugger." He reached under the mattress of the bed and produced the blank parchment. Handing it over to Remus, he promptly laid back down and the snoring commenced. Remus opened the map and spread it out on the red and gold bedcovers of his own bed.

"I solemnly swear I am up to no good," Remus whispered. The hallways and rooms appeared on the parchment and Remus quickly ticked off where everyone was. Lily and Harry were safe and sound in the top room of Gryffindor Tower. Dumbledore was sleeping, as were the other Heads of Houses, minus Horace Slughorn, who was absent. Severus was in his room, sleeping most likely since his dot was unmoving as well.

There was one dot that was moving through the castle that Remus had to look twice at. The dot seemed to be making a bee line to Gryffindor Tower and the name beside it was none other than Peter Pettigrew. Remus jumped off the bed and grabbed a hold of Sirius' arm.

"Sirius, wake up!"

"I gave you the map."

"It's Peter! He's here!"

Sirius came fully awake. "What?"

Remus shoved the map under Sirius' nose which was all that was needed. Sirius grabbed his wand from the nightstand and threw on his robe. "We need to get to Lily before he does."

Remus sent out two patronuses to wake Dumbledore and McGonagall before following Sirius up the stairs that led to Lily and Harry's room. Sirius had thrown the door open and stopped on the threshold causing Remus to plow into him full force. Looking around his dumbstruck friend, Remus saw what had brought his friend to a dead stand still: Lily, surprised at their forceful entry, was sitting up in bed, tears running down her face. Hastily she wiped them but when she spoke, her voice was hoarse from crying.

"What's going on?"

"Pettigrew is in the castle," Remus blurted. "We need you to stay here."

"No, I'm coming with you," she said, reaching for her wand.

Sirius finally found his voice. "You can't leave Harry by himself. We'll ward you in and set a protection spell around the door."

Her face showed signs of frustration but she nodded.

Remus and Sirius both backed out of the room, shutting the door and setting the protection spells. Remus looked back down at the map and saw Pettigrew was now at the portrait of the Fat Lady and McGonagall was going to be right in front of them on the stairs. Dumbledore hadn't moved, which meant Remus' patronus most likely never reached him as he doubted Peter could have caught the Headmaster at a disadvantage.

"Where is he now?" McGonagall shouted up to them. She was in her tartan dressing gown but her wand was held at the ready.

"At the portrait," Sirius answered and the three of them converged on the common room. They stood side by side, wands pointed at the portrait. The painting slowly opened but no person stood behind it.

"He's a rat!" Sirius shouted and before Remus could blink, a large black dog was bounding across the room. If McGonagall had any questions as to why Pettigrew was a rat and Sirius was a dog, she kept it to herself. There was a squeal and soon two grown men were grappling on the ground. Remus tried to look for an opening but was too afraid to hit Sirius. When they broke apart, McGonagall cast a Protego spell protecting Sirius and Remus sent out the incarcerous spell around Pettigrew.

"There he is," a cold voice said from the entrance of the common room. Remus turned to see a bloodied and bruised Severus Snape climbing through the portrait. There was a dangerous gleam to his black eyes, the kind that Remus hadn't seen since Snape had returned to Hogwarts. Blood covered the right side of his face and had flowed down his neck. His white dress shirt was torn and red angry welts showed through the material. "I'll do us all a favor and kill the vermin now."

"No!" McGonagall shouted. "There'll be no murder in this room. Justice will be served through the Ministry."

Snape's face contorted in rage. "Justice? He betrayed the Potters! He was their secret keeper!"

Pettigrew's face had blanched at Snape's appearance but now if flushed red in anger. "You want to talk of betrayal, Snape, by all means. Have you told them who it was that reported the prophecy to the Dark Lord in the first place?"

"Silence!" Snape roared as a ropes came out of his wand and wrapped themselves around Pettigrew's mouth. Remus barely had time to register what exactly had been said before Sirius had his wand pointed at Snape.

"I knew it!" Sirius let out a bark of laughter. "I knew you couldn't be trusted."

"Stop! Wait!"

Remus turned to see Lily had come downstairs from the Tower, most likely hearing that they had apprehended Peter. She entered the room cautiously, keeping a great amount of distance between her, Pettigrew and Snape.

"Surely," she said, tears creeping into her voice, "he's lying. He's just trying to cast doubt on you, isn't he? Sev?"

Remus watched as a complete transformation took place in Snape. The murderous glint in his eyes faded and the hatred in his face was extinguished. If possible, he became even paler at the sight of Lily. Despite the fact that Sirius still had his wand trained on him, Snape lowered his and looked at Lily pleadingly.

"I didn't know…" Snape started to say. "I didn't know who the prophecy was speaking of. I didn't know…"

Remus was surprised to see tears forming in Snape's eyes and he never thought he would ever see a man more broken. He looked back at Lily who was furiously shaking her head, her hand at her throat.

"Please, Lily," Snape was pleading now, "if I had known he was going to go to you, I would have died without ever speaking of the prophecy to anyone. I wouldn't do that to you!"

"But you would to James," Sirius snarled. "My guess is you pointed Voldemort straight at them!"

"I would have died before I did that!" Snape turned from Sirius back to Lily. "You've got to believe me, Lily."

Lily had blanched white and had a look of horror on her face. Without saying a word of whether she believed him or not, she turned and went back up the stairs. Remus looked over at Sirius and saw the concern on his friend's face matched his own. When they turned back, Snape had turned around and fled from the common room. Sirius started after him but McGonagall stopped him as only a Head of House can do.

"Sirius, you watch over Pettigrew while I fetch the Head Master. Remus, you go tend to Lily."

"What about him?" Sirius pointed his wand towards where Snape had disappeared.

"The Head Master will deal with that matter."

Severus had to escape and get away from this place. Maybe he could go back to the Dark Lord. Death would be promised to him and hopefully more suffering. Any kind of physical pain would be welcome now. He felt as if his heart had been ripped from his chest and surely anyone cursing or hexing him couldn't hurt nearly as much as Lily's rejection did. Again. Even as he flew down the steps that led to the dungeons, he wondered what it would take to make himself trip and fall the rest of the way down. But his feet were traitors to him as they knew the stone stairs too well to miss a step.

He barged through the common room and through the twisted hallways of the dormitory. He blew through the prefects common room and into his own. The first thing he saw was his mother's canister that he was going to give to Lily. Without putting any thought behind the action, he pick it up and hurled it against the stone wall. No satisfaction came out of hearing the impact and seeing the shards of porcelain on the floor.

He needed something familiar, something that wouldn't hurt or accuse him. Something that brought order to his confused mind and comfort to his shattered heart. His gaze landed on the black leather bound book of Holly's. The Dark Arts…they had embraced when no one else would. Gave him satisfaction when nothing else could. Just as his hand touched the cover, a voice from the doorway stopped him.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you."

He turned to see Dumbledore standing there in his dressing gown. "When do you want me out?"

"Out?" Dumbledore entered the room. "Well, I daresay whenever you've had enough of it here."

"Didn't you speak with Professor McGonagall? Didn't she tell you-"

"What you told me yourself, Severus? About you giving the prophecy to Voldemort? Yes, she did though your account of the event was much more detailed."

He tried to respond but when he opened his mouth only a sob came out. He took a deep breath and tried again. "I h-hate myself. I hate what…what I did."

"Hating our actions is the first step to our redemption. Hating ourselves, however, is the first step to our destruction. As much as you wish it now, I do not want to see you destroy yourself."

Indignation, of all things, came over at that point. "What good am I to anyone now? Black and Potter were right. I am just some greasy, oddball git who knows nothing but the Dark Arts! There is no place for me in this world!"

Dumbledore sat down wearily on the bed. "There is always a place in this world to any who find themselves in it. As for knowing nothing but Dark Arts, I would have to disagree. Horace had done nothing but praise you since you've come on staff. Quite frankly," Dumbledore laughed slightly, "I never thought I would get him to retire and he's already talking about it. He said that his potions classes, as well as his house, would be left in capable hands."

"Hands that are covered in blood." Severus yanked up his left sleeve, revealing his Dark Mark. "Aren't you forgetting about this? A fine Head of House I would be."

"All that is now is a reminder of who you used to be. It does not define you as a man. I know your drive for acceptance. Don't look so shocked, all of us suffer from that human frailty, myself included. I fear that may be a reason why Voldemort has gathered so many to his side. The werewolves, giants and vampires, all denied acceptance in this world and yet he offers it to them. But you know what you've proved?"

Severus quietly regarded the old man in front of him and waited for the answer.

Dumbledore looked at him steadily. "You've risen above that need. But because you have does not mean that you still do not need it. Horace is very impressed with you, not a small feat. Many of the Slytherin students, who aren't terrified of you, look up to you a great deal. Think of how many would be Death Eaters you could influence to turn their backs on the Dark Arts. I could think of no one better for the job than you."

No one had praised him so highly before and he found he didn't know how to react. His vision still blurred until he blinked so he knew he was still crying but didn't care at the moment. Even if everything that Dumbledore said was true, it still didn't piece back together his heart. He still had lost the one thing that mattered most to him.

"I love her," he finally admitted to the Head Master. "I always have."

Dumbledore reached out a hand and grasped Severus' arm. "I know. Love, for all the positive things that surround it, can be more painful than a mortal wound. And I am sorry for that. All I can tell you is love Lily the best you can right now. She needs a friend and you have always been that to her."

"Friends," he spoke the word in utter despair.

"Friends is a start, Severus."

"She hates me now. You didn't see her face when she found out it was me who told the Dark Lord of the prophecy. She was horrified."

"A reasonable response for sure. Give her time. So many emotions she's feeling right now are intensely raw. Surely, you know how that feels."

Exhaustion finally caught up with him and he hung his head, lacking the energy to keep it up anymore. Too many thoughts were swirling in his head and too many emotions were crammed in his chest.

"Now," Dumbledore said, standing up. "I suggest that you get some sleep. I daresay you haven't slept for a long time. I'll have Madame Pomfrey come down here to address your wounds."

Not having any fight left in him, Severus allowed himself to be led to his bed. He crawled on top on the blankets and rested his head on the pillow. He was asleep before Dumbledore left the room. He didn't see that Dumbledore had repaired the broken canister and managed to magically transfer the lotion from the wall and floor back into the container.

Author's Note: I tried to not leave it at too much of a cliff hanger as it is the holidays and my family is going to be keeping me very busy the next two days. I am going to try to write some more however and post it Friday night. Cross your fingers and wish me luck. The 50,000 word goal still seems so far away. Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!