AN: Erm…. Hello? Anyone still there? I'm alive! Also so, SO sorry it's been almost a full year since my last update. I REALLY did not mean to do that, but life just ran away from me… But I won't keep you waiting any longer. Thank you Gammija for reviewing :)

Warnings: Still no spellcheck… :'(

Now, on with the chapter(s)!

Chapter 21

AN: fuk u ok! No thanks… u fokng suk. itz nut ma fult if itz speld rong Yes it is. It's your story ok koz dat bich ravern cuz it fok u prepz Again, no thanks !1 woopz soz raven fangz 4 da help. So, first you call her a bitch, and blame her for the spelling mistakes, and then you thank her? Riiiight…. btw transilvana rox hrad!1 I even gut 2 go 2 da kasel wer drkola was flimed!

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Later we all went in the skull. Draco was crying in da common room. "Draco are u okay?" NO OF COURSE NOT! YOU CHEATED ON HIM! Though I'd probably be jumping for joy if I had and excuse to break up with Enobby… I asked in a gothic voice.

"No I'm not u fuking bitch!" Obviously… he shouted angrily. He stated to run out of the place in a suicidal way. I stated to cry This. Is. Your. Fault. cuz I was afraid he would commit suicide.

"Its ok Enoby." Yes, it's totally okay you kissed him INSTEAD OF YOUR BOYFRIEND! said Vampire comfortly. "Ill make him feel better."

"U mean you'll go fuck him wont you!" Why do you care? YOU cheated on HIM first I shouted angrily. Then I ran 2 get Draco. Vampire came too.

"Draco please come!" he began to cry. Tears of blood WHYYYYYYYYYYY? came down his pail face. I wuz so turned on Hello? Your hopefully-ex-boyfriend is about to commit suicide. Really not the time for hormones, Enobby… cuz I love sensitive bi guyz. (if ur a homophone Not a homophobe. Just a Taraphobe… den fuk of!)

And then….. we herd sum footsteps! Vampire got out his blak invincibility coke. Seriously? We both gut under it. We saw the janitor Mr. Norris There are so many things wrong with that statement I don't even know where to start… there, shouting angrily with a flashlight in his hand. It's MRS. NORRIS and SHE'S a CAT!

"WHOSE THERE!" he shouted angrily. Still a cat… We saw Filth Now who's this…? Please don't tell me it's Filch… come. He went unda da invisibility cloke Not quite sure if that's actually possible… and started to meow loudly. PLEASE tell me she didn't switch them around…

"IS ANY1 THERE!" yelled Mr. Norris. Still a cat. Still a she.

"No fuck u you preppy little poser sun of a fukcing bich!" Vampire said under his breast in a disgusted way.

"EXCUS ME! EXCUS ME WHO SED DAT!" Not so under his breath as he thought, was it? Also, why's "Mr. Norris" screaming? yelled Mr. Norris. Den he heard Filch meow. She switched them around. HOW DID SHE MANAGE THAT? "Filth is der any1 unda da cloak!" he asked. Correction: shouted Filth nodded. "Filth" is a "cat". So he CAN'T NOD! And then…pointless suspension….Vampir frenched me! *Facepalm* He did it jus as…pointless suspension 2.0….. Mr. Norris was taking of da cloak!1*Double facepalm* SERIOUSLY?

"WHAT DA-" he yelled but it was 2 late cuz now we were ruining away frum him. WHY DIDN'T YOU DO THAT SOONER? And den we saw Draco crying n bustin in2 tearz and slitting his rists outside of da school. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH! GIVE A GIRL A WARNING!

"Draco!" I cried. "R u okay?" He's crying and slitting his wrists. What do you THINK?

"I guess though." Wait. What? Did "Draco" actually just SAY that? HE'S CRYING AND CUTTING AND HE THINKS HE'S OKAY? AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH! Draco weeped. We went back to our coffins frenching each other. So… There's no epic shoutout over how SHE F*CKING CHEATED ON HIM!? Also, what happened to our dearest Vampire? He was there not two sentences ago! Draco and I decided to watch Lake Placid (c isnt da deprezzin No. It's a horror movie. Not depressing AT ALL) on the gothic red bed together. As I wuz about 2 put in the video, my eyes rolled up Oh god and suddenly I had a vision Ooooh god… of something that was happening now. Which was? There was a knok on the door and Fug Who's "Fug"? and da Mystery of Magic walked into the school!1 The ENTIRE Ministry? Surprised it actually fit…

Chapter 22.

AN: stfu! prepz stup flaming ok NEVER! if u dnot lik it fuk of I no itz mr. noris No it's not itz raven's folt Isn't everything these days? ok!11 u suk!1 no jus kidding Suuure… Keep telling yourself that Tara… raven u fokieng rok prepz suk!1

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All day everyone talked about the Misery of Magic. But WHAT WAS YOUR VISION? Well anyway, Smooth, Enobby I woke up the next day. Very smooth… I was in my coffin so I opened the door. How did you do that?! I was wearing blak lacey leather pajamas. Then I gasped. WHY?

Standing in front of me where…pointless suspension 3.0…. B;loody Mary, Vampire, Diabolo, Draco, Dracula Who was he supposed to be again? and Willow! I opened my crimson eyes. You mean you had them closed when you, presumably, SAW them standing in front of you? Willow was wearing Don't care a tight black leather top with pictures of bloody roses all over it. Under that she wart Still don't care. Also: "wart"? That's a new low, even for you, Tara… a black poofy skirt wit lace on it and black gothic boots that was attached to the top. Vampire was wearing And I STILL don't care! a baggy Simple Plan t-shirt and baggy black pants and Vans. Draco was wearing Don't care, don't care, DON'T CARE! a black MCR t-shirt and blak jeans and a leather jacket. He looked just likee Gerard Way, and almost Only almost? as fucking sexy. Vampire looked like Joel Madden. B'loody Mary was wearing STOP IT! I STILL DON'T CARE! a tight black poofy gothic dress that she had ripped so it showed of all her clearage with a white apron that said 'bich' *Facepalm* and other swear words and MCR lyrics on it kind of like one dress I had seen Amy Lee wear Why would Amy Lee wear a dress with MCR lyrics on it? once. Darkness (who is Jenny WHO THE F*CK IS JENNY?) was there too. She was weaving *Bangs head into keyboard* I STILL DON'T CARE! a ripped gothic black dress with ripped stuff all over it and a lace-up top thing and black pointy boots. So were Crab and Goyle. So, Crabbe and Goyle were wearing lacy dresses and black pointy boots? I think I'm gonna be sick… It turns out that Darkness, Diabolo, Crab and Goyle's dad was a vampire. What a surprise! Not… He committed suicide by slitting his wrists with a razor. He had raped them and stuff So eloquent, Enobby… before too. They all got so depressed that they became goffik and converted to Stanism."OMFG" I yielded as I jumped up. "Why the fuck are u all here?"

"Enoby something is really fucked up." Yeah, it's called "My Immortal" by Tara Gilesbie Draco said.

"OK but I need to put my fucking clothes on first." I shouted angrily. Wow, moodswings, much?

"It's all right. We have to go now and you look kawaii I just. Can't. Imagine Draco EVER using a word like "kawaii"… I just can't anyway. Your so fucking beautiful." Not in this universe, she's not Draco said in a sexy voice.

"Oh all right." I said smiling. Moodswings "But you have to tell me why your being all erective *Facepalm*."

"I will I will." he said.

So I just put on some black eyeliner, black lipstick and red eyeshadow and white foundation. WHY the foundation? WHY? Then I came. We all went outside the Great Hal and looked in from a widow. But… Weren't you already in the castle? A fucking prep called Britney from Griffindoor was standing next to us. WHY are you telling me this? It's POINTLESS! She was wearing a pink mini and a Hilary Duff t-shirt so we put up our middle fingers at her. Rude, much? Inside the Great Hall we could see Dumbledork. Cornelia Wow… Fudge is now, also, apparently a woman Fudged was there shouting at Dumbledore. Doris Rumbridge was there too.

"THIS CANNOT BE!" she shouted angrily. "THE SCHOOL MUST BE CLOSED!" WHAT'S GOING ON?

"THE BARK LORD Laughing my ass of over here. BARK lord… Hilarious IS PLANNING TO KILL THE STUDENTS!" yelled Cornelia Fudge.

"YOU ARE NOT FIT TO BE THE PRINCIPAL ANY LONGER!" yelled Rumbridge. "YOU ARE TOO OLD AND YOUR ALZHEIMERS Alzheimer? Since when? IS DANGEROUS! YOU MUST RETRY OR VOLDEMORT WILL KILL YOUR STUDENTS But… He's planning on doing it anyway… Whether Dumbles is headmaster or not… !"

"Very well." Rowling's version of his "retirement" was SO much cooler… Dumbledore said angrily. "Butt we cannot do this. We can't close the school. There is only one person Oh no who is capable of killing Voldemort and she Tell me you're kidding is in the school. And her his name is Harry Potter is…Oooh the suspense!…..Enony Can't even spell her name can you? Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way." WHAT a surprise! Not!

Draco, Crab, Goyle, Darkness, Willow, Vampire and B'loody Mary looked at each other…I gasped. Why? It's not like it's so surprising. I saw it coming from MILES away!

AN: Well, that's a wrap on those two chapters! Phew, thank god… Anyway, we're more than halfway through! *Cheering and applause*. Also, to those of you still reading (if you even care), I just wanted you to know that, no matter how long my updates might take, I WILL finish this commentary. Anyway, please leave a review on your way out and I'll see you next time!