Hello again! I'm back from my very long time off of writing these things. I am back fro two reasons:
The new Harry Potter book will be out on Friday, and I want to finish 1-6 parody things or whatever I'm doing right now before then.
I'm vain and I like people commenting and telling me how wonderful I am.
Yea that's it. So on to book two!
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Harry: Nobody's writing to me so I'm gonan be an emo kid.
The Dursleys: Don't be an emo kid fool, we have to be mean to you.
Harry: Oh ok I'm sorry.
The Dursleys: Hmph you quite should be.
oOoOoOoOoOo
Dobby: Yo my pimpizzle whts shakin?
Harry: I'm an emo kid because my friends hate me.
Dobby: That's not suprising.
Harry: -evil emo!Harry death glare-
Dobby: Um… Mmmkay.. So you're gonna die if you go back to Hogwarts.
Harry: But Hogwarts is the shiz!
Dobby: Okay, you're weird so I'm gonna go levititate some crap and get you in trouble!
Harry: Fun.
oOoOoOoOoOo
Dobby: Cake on your head mwahahahahaha!
Person: Ehmagawd nooo cake on my head!
Dursleys: Grrr we shall smite you.
Harry: I can't do magic out of school! Tralalalalala!
Dursleys: Oh emmm gee, now we shall super duper double smite you!
Harry: Ehmagawd noooo.
oOoOoOoOoOo
Fred: We came to save you in our flying car!
Harry: Pimpin.
George: You know you should be more grateful! There are children in Africa who don't have flying cars to save them from their evil relatives!
oOoOoOoOoOo
Ron: Let's run at this brick wall and hope we go through it!
Harry: Okay!
Ron: Ow.. I wonder why that didn't work.
Harry: I dunno. I thought all brick walls disappear if you run at them.
oOoOoOoOo
Ron: Tralalalala flying my dad's flying car to schoooooolllll.
Harry: Birdy!
Ron: I'm a spaz so I'll run into that tree.
Harry: Okay, it's not like it's gonna beat us or anything.
Tree: -beats-
oOoOoOoOo
Snape: I don't like you so I'll yell at you a lot!
Harry and Ron: Whatevs..
oOoOoOoOo
Harry: Yay food!
Colin: OH EM GEE CAN I TOUGH YOUR FACE???
Harry: No
Colin: Please.
Harry: No.
Colin: PLLLLEEEEAAASEEEEEE
Harry: -sighs- finnneeee
Colin: Ehmagawd –molests Harry's face-
Ginny: I heart Harry! Back of Creevey!
Harry: Whatevs.
oOoOoOoOoOo
Lockhart: I heart me.
Students: 0o
Lockhart: Ehmagwad your Harry Potter!!!! You're almost as pimpin as me!
Harry: Whatevs!
oOoOoOoOoOo
Dumbledore: Ehmagawd the Chamber of Secrets has been opened! Ahhhhhhhh!!!!! runs around screaming
People: -collective gasp!-
oOoOoOoOoOo
Hermione: Ehmagawd you know what would be cool?
Harry/Ron: Ehmagwad what?
Hermione: If you guys were Crabbe and Goyle and I was a kitty!
Harry/Ron: whatevs
oOoOoOoOoOo
Chamber: I got Ginny OOOOOOOOOOO! –is scary-
Ron: Yea she's annoying you can keep her.
Harry: Noooo Ginny stalks me which boosts my already huge ego!
Ron: ..so?
Harry: -is emo!Harry-
Ron: finnneee
oOoOoOoOo
Myrtle: Ehmagawwwddd it's Harry!
Harry: ..please don't rape me..
Ron: If you tell us where the chamber is you can rape Harry!
Harry: What the flying hippogriffs?
Myrtle: Okay!
oOoOoOoOo
Lockhart: I don't like you guys.
Ron/Harry: mmkay..
Lockhart: -erases memories- yay!!!
Ron: Hahaha loser.
oOoOoOoOoOo
Ginny: Harry!
Harry: Ginny!
Ginny/Harry: -slow motion run towards each other-
Harry: Ginnnnnnnyyyyyyyyy
Ginny: Harrrrrrryyyyyyyy
Riddle: …
Riddle: I shall kill you with this giant snake!
Harry: Oh no you didn't! -snaps fingers-
Riddle: Oh yes I did!
Harry: AHHH IT'S A REALLY BIG SNAKEEE
Snake: A gay boy wished for a planet full of unicorns, planet unicorn, unicorn planet. Give it up for feathers! Ooooo Cadillac. And Tom Cruiissseee! Planet Unicorn, heyyy.
Harry: AHHH IT'S A REALLY BIG SNAKE SINGING THE PLANET UNICORN SONG!
Harry: -stabs with pointy sword-
Snake: Waaaahhhhh Tommy he gave me an owwieeeeeeee!
Riddle: ..shut up..
Harry: Lalala I like stabbing stuff –stabs diary with fang-
Riddle: Nooo you biotch!
Harry: Yayyyyyy.
oOoOoOoOoOo
Dobby: I feel abused.
Lucius: I feel lika pimp.
Harry: Have a book my lord Pimpsta.
Lucius: Ewwww a sock!
Dobby: Yay a sock! Life is happy when there are socks!
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Yea that's it for the second one. If you haven't seen Planet Unicorn search it on youtube its hilarious. Sorry if this wasn't very good CoS was my least favorite so I haven't read it in a while.
Peace Out,
King's Own Knight