This chapter was extremely painful to write. So, prepare yourself for pain, but it doesn't end half as bad. And... next chapter will be so much better. So I guess the next chapter will be a continuation of this.
Thanks everyone for sticking with us to chapter thirty-six! Woo! :D
-mariahills_capsicle
Sans glances around blankly, in complete disbelief. No. no, this isn't real- this can't be real. He was in his room- his old room- it was dark, the only light coming from the crack beneath the door. It's not… it's not real… this is a dream. This is a dream… Sans slowly opens the door, stepping out into the horrifyingly familiar upstairs hallway. He felt numb, terrified. He couldn't breathe. He cautiously raises a fist to knock lightly on Papyrus's door,
"Paps…? P-Paps…?" There was no response. He opens the door slowly, to be met by an empty room. "Papyrus…? Bro?" His brother wasn't there. Sans steps back into the hallway, down the stairs, the creaking of the steps echoing through the house. Papyrus… Frankie… Riley… where are they? This… This isn't real. It can't be. Papyrus wasn't in the kitchen either. Fear grips Sans' soul as he steps outside. Snowdin was as busy as ever, everyone was talking as they normally would, talking about the new-fallen snow and what Santa brought them for Christmas. Sans walks through the bustling little town when a familiar voice sounds behind him,
"SANS! WHY AREN'T YOU AT YOUR SENTRY STATION!?" Sans spins around,
"P-Papyrus!?" No… No! This can't be real! This can't… it… it can't be! The tall skeleton stood before him, looking irritated.
"I SWEAR, SANS! SOMETIMES, YOU ARE FAR TOO LAZY FOR YOUR OWN GOOD- WHAT WOULD YOU DO WITHOUT ME?" It… It reset. It reset. I… I'll never see Frankie or Riley again… Sans looks down at the ground, his soul heavy with grief.
"SANS…?" Papyrus frowns, "IS EVERYTHING ALRIGHT, BROTHER…?" Sans falls to his knees,
"T-They're… they're gone… T-They're gone…" What did I tell you, Sans? You shouldn't have gotten attached. Look how much pain you're in now.
"WHO'S GONE, SANS? BROTHER, WHAT IS GOING ON?" Papyrus looks concerned.
"R-Riley… and… and Frankie… oh g-god…" Tears spill from Sans' eye sockets. He was happy. He was so, so happy with Riley and Frankie. And now they were gone.
"SANS…? Sans, brother… you are not well…! Let us go inside, alright?" Tsk. Tsk. Tsk. All gone, Sans. They're all gone and you got attached. I bet your soul is aching, isn't it? Look what getting attached does to you. Look what it does, Sans! The voice was menacing, raging. Sans should have listened. He should have listened to the voice.
"SANS!" Papyrus falls to his knees in front of his brother, "Sans- what's wrong!?" He shakes him gently. Sans doesn't respond, his expression devoid of emotion.
"Sans, please brother… you're scaring me… get inside!" Papyrus was frantic. Sans gets to his feet, walking past Papyrus. There's only one thing I can do now. I can end all of this. I can stop something like this from ever happening again. He shortcuts outside of the MTT resort, his skull pounding, tears falling freely. This is the only way i'll ever be happy. He walks through the lobby, to the Core. If I erase myself from time and space… I won't have to deal with the pain. He looks over the railing, his soul feels like it's going to split in two. The shining white light below the walkway pulsates with pure energy. This is the only way out. Sans steps over the railing, shaking, barely able to grasp onto the metal bars. Do it, Sans. End it. Now you know why you can't get attached, don't you?
"I-I-It's… it's not FAIR!" Sans sobs, having to shout over the sound of the Core. But you can avoid this. This pain. It's all your fault. Riley and Frankie. They're gone now. You'll never see your girlfriend again, and you'll never see your son again.
"I- I deserve- I deserve to be HAPPY!" No, Sans. You don't. People who give up… they don't. They don't deserve to be happy. You're the kind of person who will sit around and do nothing while everyone dies around you. Only when it gets serious, when you feel like you need to step in, you will. So, so selfish. You let your brother die, Sans. You let everyone die.
"SHUT UP! JUST SHUT UP!" Sans nearly loses his grip on the rails. Are you not going to do it, Sans? Are you too afraid? D o i t, s a n s. It'll make the pain YOU caused go away. The skeleton looks down into the void, This is the only way out. No more pain, no more suffering… and then… Sans lets go.
Sans wakes up with a jolt, his skull pounding, his left eye flashing rapidly between blue and yellow. Frankie! Riley! Papyrus! He bolts out of bed, nearly falling in the process. Everything was spinning as he bursts into the hallway, towards Frankie and Papyrus's room. He throws the door open. Thank god- oh thank.. Thank god. Oh… oh god… Riley… Sans races to grab his phone, dialing 'Riley the Human' as fast as he could. Please… oh god, please be there…
Riley picks up a moment later,
"Sans…? What's going on…?" Relief floods his soul,
"R-Riley- Riley, oh god, oh- oh god…"
"Sans…? Sans? Calm down- what happened?"
"I can't… I can't… Riley! I can't go back there, I can't… and I can't lose them… you…"
"Sans, what are you talking about? Can't go back where?"
"P-Please… I just w-want them back… I need… I need Riley… I need F-Frankie…"
"Sans- Sans calm down, I'm on my way, alright?"
"P-Please… please h-hurry…"
When Sans had called her, she hadn't hesitated. He had sounded frantic, terrified. She had guessed, by symptoms she had seen previously, that he suffered from some form of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, but now it seemed more real. She pulled up to his house, she hadn't even bothered to change- she was still wearing her pajamas, leggings and a t-shirt one size too big. She had managed to pull her hair out of her face into a messy bun on top of her head, before reaching her car. Now, flipflops smacking on the pavement, she rushed up the walkway to his front door. She didn't even knock. The door wasn't locked. She pulled it open and rushed into the house.
The living room was dark and quiet. Somewhere upstairs a fan was whirring gently. She hesitated, listening. She heard mumbling, and she reached for the familiar location of the light switch. The large living room was filled with bright yellow light, sitting in the corner between the computer desk and the stairs was Sans. He was holding on tightly to his legs, rocking back and forth. His forehead was resting on his knees.
"Sans?!" She rushed over to him, throwing her keys down on the computer desk as she knelt in front of him. "Sans…? What… Tell me what's wrong…" He looked up, and his face was completely devoid of emotion.
"I've lost them." He whispered. On the phone he had screamed, cried. "I can't… I can't… Riley! I can't go back there, I can't… and I can't lose them… you…"
"Who? Who have you lost?" She frowned. She remembered how she had been taught to deal with PTSD, one of the no-nos for her relatives to learn was that while she was having a flashback they shouldn't touch her until she'd given them permission to, but she wanted so desperately to hold him. He looked broken- emotionless… lost…
"Frankie and Riley… I… They're gone. I'll never…" Tears rolled down his cheekbones as he spoke, but it was like he wasn't looking at her, he wasn't seeing her. "I'll never see them again! It's started all o-over! How w-will I ever f-find them?!"
"Sans. It's not real. You're having a flashback. Okay?" Step one: Remind your loved one that what they are seeing or feeling is not real- it's a flashback, a shadow of what's in the past. God, so many times she'd been assured this by her relatives. She knew it was hard, but after a while those words began to help. "I'm right here, and I'm not going anywhere. Neither is Frankie. We can go see him if you want. He's fast asleep in his bed."
"Frankie? I don't know where he is. Probably with his parents…" The look on his face was one of utter heartbreak. "I can't… I c-can't see him now. I'm not… I'm not his dad anymore. He won't know me. But I… I just want to hug h-him one more time… I just w-want to hear him call me d-dad… I can't… I can't be here!"
"Sans, darling, please. Focus on my voice. Focus on where you are. Where are you?"
"SNOWDIN!" He screamed. "I'm in Snowdin. I don't want to be here. I want to go HOME!" He burst into sobs, hugging his knees tightly.
"You are home- in your house with Frankie and Papyrus. You're not in Snowdin, Sans. You're with me, Riley." She tried to offer him a smile, but his agony was rubbing off on her, it hurt her to see him so pained.
"Riley… Oh god, Riley. I… I n-need her. I c-can't live without her. She's on the surface and… she won't r-remember me. Riley… R-Riley, I just… I want her to be w-with me, and I just…" He trails off, his face suddenly contorting from sorrow to anger. "IT'S NOT FAIR! IT'S NOT FAIR! I LOVE HER, WHY DO YOU HAVE TO TAKE EVERYTHING I LOVE AWAY FROM ME! … It's n-not… It's n-not fair…" He…. He loves me…. He had never said those words before. Sans loves me?! Oh god, she loved him- more than anything. Now isn't the time.
"Sans. Please…. I'm right here. None of what you're seeing is real. You're not in Snowdin, and I remember you. Look at me! It's me! Riley." There are tears in her eyes now. I have to remain calm! Step number two is remain calm. Show your loved one you have nothing to fear and neither should they. But it was so hard to remain calm when she was seeing him in such agony.
"Your name is Riley too?" He frowned, still seeming to look completely past her.
"N-no, Sans, it's me… Riley Elizabeth Malloy. Please, Sans, can't you… see me?" Recognition flashed in his gaze as he stared up at her.
"Riley?!" Joy appeared in his expression. "How- how did you get down here?! Did you fall?"
"Sans… We're not in Snowdin." Riley whispered. "We're at home, above ground. Frankie and Papyrus they're upstairs fast asleep, safe and sound. Do you see where we are, Sans?" Step three: Ask your loved one to describe their surroundings, or describe them to him or her so that they can have a sense of security, or safety. "We're in your living room, in that little nook that Frankie likes to hide in when we're playing hide and seek- between the stairs and the computer desk. See?"
He stared up at her for a long moment as his white pupils began to reappear.
"R...Riley…?" The edge of fear that had been in his voice before was slowly disappearing. "R-Riley?! What happened? Why are you… crying?" He reached out and wiped the tears away from her cheeks. She took this as an invitation and pulled him into her arms.
"Sans… God, you scared me."
"I…" He stiffened. "Oh no…. Oh…" She pulled away to see his expression, and she saw terror in his eyes. "I… Oh god, I thought I'd lost you and Frankie." A tear rolled down his cheekbone and she gently wiped it away with her thumb.
"It was just a dream. Just a flashback."
"I thought… Oh god it was so…" He choked on a sob. "It was so real! It was so…" He was sobbing, his whole body trembling. She gently lifted his skull so he was looking at her.
"Sans… It wasn't real at all. You see me? I'll always be here with you, okay? This is real: Me, Frankie, this house, everyone around you right now. That is real. The dream, the flashback, you just had. None of it was real." He wiped away his tears quickly and gave her a shaky smile.
"Riley…. You… you saved me."
"You called me. I came. That's how it works." She kissed the top of his skull gently, and then, still holding on to him, murmured, "Sans, would it help if I stayed here with you?"
"You mean tonight?" His voice still sounded choked up a little, but she knew he was doing better. "I probably won't have another episode tonight. The most often I've ever had them is once a night."
"Well… I actually meant…" She pulled away, so she could look him in the eyes. "What if I… y'know? Moved in?"
"You want…" He frowned. "You want to move in with me?!"
"Oh! Well, only if you want to, I mean…"
"Riley, I would love for you to move in."
"Really?" She grinned.
"Yes, but… Is that what you want? I… I have these episodes and they aren't ever pretty. And Frankie has nightmares- we both have nightmares. And…"
"Sans. Look at me. I know what it's like to go through this." She tapped the scar on her chin gently to emphasize that fact. "I want to help, and when I can't… I know what to do. We're all flawed in our own ways. It's our jobs, being in a relationship and all, to not focus on those flaws but to focus on the good things."
"Riley… my wonderful Riley…" He smiled, cupping her cheek in his hand. "You always know what to say." He leaned forward and kissed her gently, pressing his teeth to her lips. She leaned into it, tilting her head slightly before pulling away.
"So, uh… Is that a yes? Am I moving in?"
"Yes." He nodded firmly. She laughed, hugging him tightly.
"You feel better?"
"A… a little." He was still trembling, she hugged him tightly.
"Want me to stay the night?"
"Yes… please?"
"Sans! Always." After a few more moments, of holding on to him she pulled away gently. "Let's go upstairs and back to your room. It'll certainly be more comfortable than down here."
"Sure." After flicking off the light they walked together up to Sans' room. It was a mess, but Riley elected to ignore it for now. She let go of Sans' hand to go around to the other side of the bed. There, she pulled back the blankets and slid in next to him, holding on to him tightly. "We should get some sleep." He frowned, and she saw fear in his expression.
"I… If you're tired, go ahead." He responded. He may not be scared of another episode but he's terrified he'll have another nightmare. I've got to do something to help calm him down. She nervously cleared her throat and began to sing softly.
"Wise men say… only fools rush in... but I can't help falling in love with you…" She gently began to rub his sternum. Her mother used to do that when she was sick or had a nightmare. She would come in and sing softly, rubbing her upper chest gently. He seemed surprised at first by her singing to him, but he smiled as he listened. "Shall I stay… would it be a sin… if I can't help falling in love with you?" To her surprise he joined in, softly, and she was amazed to find that he had a beautiful singing voice- deep, and strong. He harmonized with her, their voices blending together.
"Like a river flows… Surely to the sea… Darling, so it goes, some things were meant to be." Darling. He was her darling, always. "Take my hand, take my whole life too, 'Cause I can't help falling in love with you." She trailed off, and he followed, even though it wasn't the end of the song. She sat up to look down at him, he was falling asleep again.
"Darling…" she smiled. He looked up at her, his expression was of pure joy. "I'm going to call you that now, okay?" He laughed a little.
"Sounds good to me, sweetheart." He closed his eyes, and she lay back down, leaning against him. "Goodnight, Ri." He murmured.
"Goodnight, Darling…" She said before he drifted off to sleep.
When Riley woke up it was far too early for how late she was awake the night before. She moaned, rolling over slightly to feel that Sans' side of the bed was empty. She blinked, sitting up slightly, running her hand across the cool mattress.
"Sans…?" The room was still dark, the curtains were still down, so no sunlight shone through. She stood shakily. He's probably just making coffee… But Sans' state last night had not been a good one, so she was worried. She pulled her tangled hair out of the hair tie she'd been wearing last night and quietly made her way downstairs. "Sans?" I hope he's… alright.
The living room was still dark, and there wasn't a sound. "Sans? Where are you…?" The worry was growing within her. He was in such a bad place last night… "Sans?" He wasn't downstairs. Oh god… where… where could he be? Her hands were beginning to shake.
"RILEY?!" Papyrus was standing at the bottom of the stairs looking confused. "YOU'RE NEVER HERE THIS EARLY."
"I spent the night." Riley frowned, still worried about Sans.
"YOU SLEPT ON THE COUCH?"
"No… I slept in Sans' bed."
"SPENT THE NIGHT? IN SANS' BED?!"
"Well… yeah…?"
"WHERE DID SANS SLEEP?!"
"In…. his bed." She sighed.
"YOU BOTH SLEPT IN SANS' BED?! WHY?!"
"That's… that's just what boyfriends and girlfriends do."
"TOGETHER?! THAT SOUNDS HORRIBLE, HAVING TO SHARE A BED."
"Actually…" Despite her worry, her cheeks turn bright red. "It's nice."
"IS SANS STILL IN BED?" Papyrus asked, hurrying towards the kitchen.
"Actually… I'm worried. He's not."
Papyrus stops. "HE'S… NOT IN BED? WHERE IS HE?!"
"I don't… I don't know."
"HE'S NOT DOWN HERE… AND HE'S NOT IN MY ROOM…."
"He's not in the house… He was… upset last night."
"UPSET?!" Papyrus frowned. "SANS….? HOW BAD WAS HE UPSET…?"
"It was… It was pretty bad." She looked down at her hands. "I… I tried to help and I thought I did but what if…" She bit her lip, trying to hold back tears. "What if I didn't. What if he's… still upset and…"
"DON'T WORRY RILEY! WE WILL FIND SANS TOGETHER!"
"Do you think you know where he is?" She looks up with excitement.
"WHEN SANS IS UPSET HE GOES TO GRILLBY'S! WE CAN LOOK THERE!"
"What about…. Frankie…"
"Oh…" Papyrus frowned. The easy solution was calling Toriel, who soon came to pick up the little skelechild. Neither Riley nor Papyrus spoke to Sans' son about his father being missing, and it hurt Riley to lie to him- but she didn't want Frankie to worry. And she knew that if Frankie knew Sans was missing he would panic- it was part of his own PTSD.
"We have to find Sans." She said to Papyrus, "Frankie needs his father."
"I KNOW." Papyrus nodded quickly. "LET'S GO!"
And so off they went, first to Grillby's. Sans was not there. And no one there had seen him. Papyrus took Riley a few other places he thought Sans might be, and Riley had a few ideas. The place they'd met, when Sans had been distressed about not being able to find Frankie. The coffee shop they'd met in a few times. But Sans was in none of the places they looked. It was getting late in the afternoon, and Riley's worry had grown so bad- she was shaking.
"We've looked everywhere! Where could he be?!" They had tried calling him, but he had left his phone at home, so that was useless.
"I DON'T KNOW… MAYBE HE'S LOST!"
"Lost?" Why would he be lost? He could be confused- like he was last night. "Maybe he is… but where would he go if he were lost?"
"HMMM…." Papyrus frowned, staring down at his hands which were holding tightly to his steering wheel. "I REMEMBER SOMETHING… SANS SAID A LONG TIME AGO. HE SAID… THAT IF I WERE EVER LOST I SHOULD GO HOME TO SNOWDIN…. WHAT IF SANS WENT THERE?!"
All of Sans' episodes and nightmares revolve around Snowdin. He would never go there voluntarily…. But there's… there's nowhere else to look. This is the last place that he has any connection to.
"You're sure he might be there?"
"LET'S GO LOOK!" Papyrus slammed his foot on the gas and sped off towards Mt. Ebott.
Riley had never been Underground before, but she didn't have time to look around- she was too worried about Sans to pay attention to her surroundings. She followed Papyrus blindly, thinking through a million if-onlys. If only I'd woken up earlier. If I had stayed awake with him longer, comforted him longer. If only I had… If only…. If only….
"HERE WE ARE!" Papyrus' voice made her shoot out of her thoughts. Sans' old house… It looked nice. It was just then she realized how cold it was. There was snow on the ground, her feet were freezing since the only shoes she had were flipflops. And she was only wearing a t-shirt and sweat pants. She shivered. "ARE YOU COLD, RILEY?"
"It's… It's a l-little cold." She smiles.
"HERE!" Papyrus gently pulled off his scarf and wrapped it around her shoulders. "DON'T WORRY, RILEY, THIS WILL KEEP YOU WARM! AND DON'T WORRY. WE'LL FIND SANS!" Papyrus quickly entered Sans' old house, and Riley followed.
"Sans?!" She gasped. There was no response. Papyrus frowned, and together they searched the dusty, abandoned house. Sans was nowhere in the building. Riley collapsed on the old couch in defeat.
"Oh god! We've looked everywhere!" Tears filled her eyes, and she put her head in her hands..
"BUT… THERE'S NOWHERE ELSE HE COULD BE! HE MUST BE DOWN HERE SOMEWHERE!" Riley quickly wiped away her tears and looked up at Papyrus with a frown.
"Isn't there an old Grillby's down here?"
"YES."
"Didn't you say Sans used to go to Grillby's when he was upset?"
"OF COURSE! WE HAVE TO CHECK GRILLBY'S!" Papyrus grabbed her hand and led her down the road to the old building where Grillby's used to be. Papyrus pushed open the old door. The building was dark and empty, except for one figure sitting at the bar.
"Sans!" She gasped, relief filling her soul. The figure stiffens.
"Riley…."
"SANS! WE'RE HERE TO TAKE YOU HOME! DON'T WORRY. WE KNOW YOU WERE LOST, BUT YOU ARE NOW FOUND."
"I'm not going home."
"Sans… Please… Frankie and Papyrus and I… we…. We miss you…" Riley frowned.
"No…. I'm not going home." Sans turned slowly to face them, his face was expressionless.
"SANS…" Papyrus said. "WE'VE COME TO RESCUE YOU!"
"Don't you get it?!" Sans choked. "I can't. Be. With. You!" He looked directly at Riley. "I can't be with you anymore. I can't…. I can't… It's all over." Sans turned back around, looking down at his hands, "It's… over." I can't be with her. Not anymore. I can't… I can't get attached.
"No! That's… that's not true, it's not!" Riley gasped. "What… what about everything you said last night- everything I said?!"
"...o-over….?" Papyrus frowned.
"I can't be with you. I can't be with anyone. Leave me…. Alone." He didn't dare look at her or his brother. He felt broken, hurt. Like his soul was going to shatter.
"NO SANS! IT CAN'T BE OVER! I WILL TAKE CARE OF YOU! JUST LIKE YOU TOOK CARE OF ME!"
"Leave. Just…. Leave me alone. Stay away from me." His voice is cold, his hands clenched into fists.
"Sans…. P-please…" She was clearly crying. "I c-can't…. I c-can't… not like this…"
Sans suddenly spun around, glaring,
"LEAVE ME ALONE!" He slams his fist on the table, seething. Why can't they just leave me alone!?
"I won't! I w-won't!" She gasps. "Last night you said s-something to me! L-last night… do you r-remember?!"
"No. No I don't." he hisses, hating the harshness in his voice, but he has no other option. He's frustrated, he just wants to forget- forget everything.
"You said…. You said you love me!" She sobs. "Pl...please! Look at me! Look at me and tell me that was a lie. IT WASN'T A LIE!" He looks her directly in the eyes,
"It was a lie, Riley. I don't. I don't love you." I can't love you, but oh god, I do.
She's quiet for a long moment. "Fine. It was a lie. But I'm not lying… you may not love me Sans but I'm… I'm so… s-so in love with you, Sans! I love you! More than anything!"
She… loves me…?
"Then you've made a huge goddamn mistake. I can't love you. I can't be Frankie's dad. I can't live on the surface. I never want to see the sun again- because you know what? None of it fucking matters!" He chokes on a sob, "I want- I just- It's not fair! So do me a favor- a-and g-get… get the hell out of my life!"
"S-SANS… YOU… YOU DON'T MEAN THAT…." Papyrus gasps. Riley was sobbing harder.
"I w-wont… I w-won't leave you. I WON'T! If it's true- if you don't love me…. YOU'VE LIED TO ME ALL THIS TIME….I thought…. I believed…." She pauses, trying to catch her breath. "I thought I was worth something…" Sans' expression softens a little, you're worth something, Riley. I love you.
"I- You… Just…" He can't find the words, "Just… t-take care of Frankie… for me, would y-you? I… I don't want him to lose you too, Riley. He needs you and Papyrus. I can't be there for him anymore."
"You…. you made me feel like…. You made me feel like I was worth something! YOU LIED TO ME! How could you do that?! BECAUSE IT WAS EASY?! B-BECAUSE... Because I… was...a-already so…. In need of… some sort of confirmation? Because I was a-already s-so close to KILLING MYSELF?! Yeah, I was an easy target! AND YOU LIED! ….I fell in l-love with y-you and…. It… it was all a lie…" She was going to… kill herself?! Sans can't go on like this- it wasn't a lie- none of it was. He loves her.
"I'M NOT LYING- I DO LOVE YOU! And… a-and it's… it's be… because I love you- that I can't, alright?! SO DO ME A FAVOR A-AND.. Please… get… get out. I don't ever… ever want to see you again. It- it hurts…. It hurts so much, Riley… But I do. I do love you. But I can't. I just… I fuckin' can't."
She wasn't listening, she was crying, screaming really. "I w-was in love WITH YOU!" She stumbles towards the door but falls onto her hands and knees. Papyrus looks over at Sans with horror in his expression, and then he goes to Riley, gently pulling her into his arms.
"HE… HE DOESN'T… HE…. RILEY, IT'S OKAY… IT'S…"
"IT'S NOT OKAYYYYY… I… I thought… I thought…. I was worth something… to him. I was… nothing…"
Sans stays silent, his soul aching. He wants to hold her, to reassure her. But this was good, wasn't it? If she leaves him alone, he wouldn't have to worry about her after it resets. He could break all ties with this reset and be happy in the next one. But… I love her. I really do. How can I let her think that she doesn't matter? That she's not worth something…?
"I c-can't go back… I c-can't go back to the way it w-was before… I c-can't feel that w-way again… I c-can't…. L-live like that…. I can't l-live! I can't… I have… I have to…. I c-can't go back… It h-has to end… I w-won't go back…"
"DON'T… DON'T SAY THAT, RILEY!" Papyrus gasps.
"I WON'T GO BACK! After Ally died…. I DON'T MATTER! I NEVER MATTERED! He lied to me! He said he loved me and it was a lie! And I th-thought it meant something but it d-didn't! I c-can't go back to the way it w-was before. It w-would be better if I d-died. It would be better… if…. I finished wh-what…. I started."
"N-NO! R-RILEY…."
"It's okay…" She smiled through her tears. "No one will miss me… just like before. When I met him… I thought they would… but no one… will…."
Sans gets to his feet, his soul pounding with every possible emotion. Fear. Rage. Sorrow. Agony. He takes a deep breath, walking over to Riley and Papyrus. "I love you, Riley… I… I just want you to know- you made me the happiest guy on earth. I got up every morning with a smile on my face, just… just knowing that i could see you… a-and Frankie. You brought so much, so- so much joy to my life. I love you. And god- you made such a difference in my life. You're the most beautiful, most amazing person i've ever had the pleasure of meeting and I do- I do love you. I love you so much, that it hurts." And god, how it hurts.
She's shaking, looking up at him with wide eyes full of tears.
"How… c-could I ever… t-trust you…?" She breathes. "You… l-lied… You still lie…And you… you just don't want me. Y-you want me to… l-leave…." She holds onto Papyrus tightly.
"I want you to leave, because it hurts… my love for you hurts. I can't breathe when i'm around you, and you make me smile. God, you brighten my world… You helped me through so much… and I'm not lying when I say that. Look me in the eyes, Riley. I'm not lying when I say I love you."
"You're w-wrong." Her eyes are red, her hands shaking badly. "None of that hurts. What you're doing now- this hurts. All the lies- all the terrible lies… and… all the horrible, h-horrible things y-you've said..."
"I… I... " He takes a shaky breath, "I… Please, Riley… I… You don't understand… you don't understand why I'm doing this- I know you don't… but my love for you is ripping me to shreds…"
"You're still…" She stares up at him, tears rolling down her cheeks again, "You…. the dream… this is about the dream! How could you do this to me over a dream?!"
"It's not a dream, Riley… please, you don't understand… It's… it's going to happen again and… everyone'll be… they'll be gone- you… Frankie… You guys… you'll be gone. And I can't do anything to stop it…"
"How c-could he do this?!" She looks at Papyrus who seems equally bewildered. "He's letting the p-past define how he lives n-now." She looks back up at Sans, "I love you… and you…. Why can't you focus on what you have now!?" Her eyes are filling with tears again, she's biting her lip hard.
"Why can't you focus on what you have now!?" Those words echo in his head and he realizes… She's right. He needs to focus on now. "I… I'm… so sorry… oh god, Riley, I'm so sorry…"
"You're sorry." She stares up at him blankly, and her eyes widen. "You're sorry?! I…. oh god…. I…. The things you said… I think… I mean… I was having a panic attack… oh god...and you… You're sorry?! I… I can't think… I… I'm sorry… I'm sorry."
"I was wrong… oh god, I was wrong…" He whispers, afraid that she won't forgive him. At this point, he really wouldn't blame her if she didn't forgive him. "I'm… I n-need to focus on now. A-and oh god, I'm sorry…"
She takes a deep breath, sitting up, and staring up at him, wiping away her tears. "I'm sorry, Sans… I… it was just a flashback- an episode and I… I wasn't there for you… I should have been there, but… I… I couldn't… I couldn't…. I'm sorry…."
He shakes his head,
"I shouldn't… i shouldn't have said… the things i did. I love you. I… i really do. And I don't want to leave you- I dont want you to leave me." Screw what the voice has to say. I can't live without her and i understand now- she can't live without me.
"Let's… start over…." She smiles a little, still shaking badly. "Y-you… last night… y-you said you love me… when you… were…. Having the episode…"
"A-And I mean it. I love you. I don't want to live without you. I want you to be here, with me. Because I need you."
She chokes, tears filling her eyes again. "I n-need you too…. So much… I l-love you."
He pulls her into a tight hug, relief flooding him. "I love you too." She breathes in deeply, sobbing into his shoulder, gripping his coat tightly.
"Please…. P-please d-don't do that again… P-please…."
"FINALLY! SANS! I'M GLAD YOU'RE ALRIGHT, BUT YOU BOTH… WORRIED ME."
"N-never. Never again. I…. I won't do it again…" He holds her close.
"C-can…. C-can we go home…?" She mumbles. He nods,
"Y-yeah… we can go home."
REVIEWS FOR CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE:
Oppsie-Dasi: He's... in Snow...din...
What...
The actual...
OH HELL NO! FRISK YOU DINGUS! WHY! WHY! WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!
sHH...Its okay... we're on our way to the climax. It's good.
CitrisDragon: NONONONONONONO! PLEASEBEADREAMPLEASEBEADREAM! Whyyyyy?! Why do this to me?! My poor heart!
Dream! It's a dream, breathhhhh! Everything's gonna be okay. You know what they say. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger.
DezyBear: A RESET HAPPENED?! PLEASE SAY THAT DIDN'T HAPPENED! BE A DREAM BE A DREAM BE A DREAM!
It didn't happen. Just a dream! It's okay. :)
MachUPB: I was thinking this was a great chapter that was very well written, with new friends being made and Red X up to more shenigans that keep getting worse, up until the the last sentence. Now all I can think is OHMYGOSHPLEASEBEADREAMPLEASENORESET!
*Tries to run out of room in such a hurry that–
*THUD*
*–that the door is missed, colliding with the wall and falling over comically instead.
Ow... I needed that. I hope "worse" finishes soon so that "better" can start, 'coz these people are having a pretty bad time.
Like I said, before it gets better it's just gonna get worse. I think this is worse and we're gonna slowly climb up to better. (I _think_)
StarCre8tion: You little...
WHY? THEY WERE HAPPY (KINDA)
Pal, you better have a good explanation for this or a certain skelly will give ya a bad time.
Jk we all love ya but why ;~;
To Sans, buddy, chum, pal, try not to flip, okay? Frisk, umm... probably has a good reason for this kay?
Hey, maybe it's not Frisk?
(Though, on the news it was said that two monsters and a human was killed. Just a possibility, but are the monsters and human anyone we might know? *coughpossiblyTorielandFriskcough*)
Oh he didn't even try, It was pretty bad wasn't it? *winces* Poor Sans. But can you imagine, everything that he loves being torn away like that?
Mr. Indigo: You've got to be kidding me! It RESET! The Timeline RESET! I thought you said it wouldn't RESET! Did you go back on your word!? I have no idea... But thinking from a clear point of view, I can see that it probably isn't a RESET, but just a dream or a realistic vision that causes us (and Sans) to think that it is a RESET. But then again, if it is a RESET, then Sans would be able to redo his mistakes and make sure that Red X never rose to prominence.
Speaking of Red X, I believe it's time I told you the history of the organization that everyone hates! You see, Red X is actually an extremist sub-section of a wider, country-wide organization called White X, while not as violent as it's Red counterpart, it mostly focuses on the segregation and de-humanization of monsters, giving them less rights and equality than humans. White X, of course, usually consists of rich white men and members of the political chain, which can see the completion of the groups goals. Of course, the group is hush-hush, so much so that it became somewhat of a conspiracy theory amongst the common man. The X, by the way, stands for Xavier, the man whose teachings both groups, White and Red, were founded after. Xavier, of course, was a prominent and wealthy WHITE Southerner who preached the message that monsters were inferior to humans in every way, shape and form. To say an actual quote from the man, "Monsters are an inferior species to humans, mostly made up of magic, they do not have the power to survive outside the body, we as humans do, and therefore are the superior beings and deserve to be called, and treated, justly so. That is why our forefathers sealed the demons underground for all eternity, because we as humans are the superior species, and monsters are so far inferior to us that we must do whatever we can to separate them from us." Xavier, of course, would go on to found and become a prominent member of White X. Red X, however, is a different story entirely. Founded by a man named Xander(which, ironically enough, means "Defender of the People" in Greek), the group preaches the persecution of all monsters from the surface of the Earth. To speak a quote from Xander "They are all inferior to us and like a wildfire we shall consume the entirety of monster-kind, for only one species has the God-given right to till the soil and to walk the land, and they are humans." The organization consists of mostly middle-class people of white background who operate in small communities around the country. By the way, before I close this review, I would like to say that the Red in Red X stands for the blood that will need to be shed in order to receive peace.
I promised it would never reset didn't I? Wow that's so detailed! I really applaud you for the effort you put into it. It's really great! I love the idea of White X! That's cool!
: ...WELL. Well well well. Well well welly well well. I WAS SCARED THIS WOULD HAPPEN. YOU'VE KILLED ME. I'm tearing up a little, thanks. (It's really fine I flipping love this story)
...Uh, I'm mostly over the shock now. *breathes*
Now I'm thinking. Sans is going to be confronted with the choice whether or not to let Frankie's parents die, and he's going to have to befriend Riley again. Things won't go the same.
Or he'll sink into an even greater depression because Frankie and Riley won't remember him(?). Frisk is going to have to answer for this. Sans WON'T be happy.
Anyway, thanks for the feels! I'm excited (and scared) for the next chapter!
I promised it would never reset! Riley and Sans are going to have a nice long chat. It's gonna be good.
Cocoa the Wolf: I hope that last sentence is a joke. I almost started CRYING.
Definitely not a joke. But definitely not real. All this pain- It was necessary as you'll soon see.
aduralove: nononononononononoonno u broke me why! I so sad and Hold the phone. Is Red X strong enough to reset, and did so accidentally? Like what? Or did frisk reset and go back on your word? WHY TO ME WHY RESET WHYYYYYYYYYY
No reset, like I promised. Just an awful dream.
StarBee24: EXCUSE ME! THAT LAST SENTENCE! WWWWWWHHHHHHAAAAAAATTTTTTT!:7Π
Shhhh... It's gonna be okay, my friend!
nadiahardar: N-no... ,no nonono nONONO NO!
NO!
C'mon c'mon c'mon c'mon COME ON
SANS NOO!
DONT DO THIS!
Itsjustadream itsjustadream itsjustadream itsjustadream
Noooooooo ;-;
This is all just a bad dream...
He's gonna have a HUGE panic attack!
I can practically FEEL the angst in the next chapter, oh GOD! ;;-;;
The funny thing is that I felt it coming.
It was just TOO good to be true ;-;
He just can't have one peaceful night, can he?
I literally can't find anything else to say besides GREAT JOB ON MAKING YELL "GOD DAMN IT!" AT THE END THERE!
Well, that and wow this story has me by my non-existent tail. Good freaking job 3
Good to come... And yes he had an ENORMOUS panic attack. Like... huge, and so did poor Riley! Ahhh so much sadness. :(
meladi1: Everything is soooo saaad *cries* and I'm getting more and more certain that the voice is Chara. Could be Flowey or Gaster too, though, but I'm leaning more towards Chara. Or. I could be internally wrong! XD looking forward to next chappy _
It's gonna be fine, I promise... also... interesting choice of guesses...
Sky's Limit5: "And then Sans wakes up in Snowdin"
*You are suddenly filled with dread
Please please pleasepleasepleaseplease tell me that it's just a nightmare Sans is having and that the world isn't really reset. Frisk wouldn't reset as they finally have their happy ending. Please let it just be a dream, I'm actually afraid of the next chapter now.
My dream is finally getting to the most ultimate happy ending and the beautiful, lengthy epilogue we have planned. Trust me. It's gonna be amazing.
anthonyabc268: No no no please no u didn't oh God why ugh:ggghhhh u really like lesson with my emotions
I'm sorry, lol. *winces* it was pretty bad wasn't it? It's gonna be okay now. :)
BlauerBlitz: First of all: I really like your Story!
I also have a OC named Jay but mine is a Cat/Human Hybrid and i found it real funny as i read the name!
Jay:Yo! I really like to read the story as well,i wonder if this Sans from this Timeline will freak out about this sudden reset and i hope that everything is just a Dream and not an actual reset.
Well,i hope that the next Chapter will come out soon! Goodbye for now!
Poor has to go trough all of this again...But the Question is who triggered the RESET? Because i dont think that Frisk would just reset the Timeline for nothing, so something must have happened OR somebody else can also reset OR this is just a bad dream or a bad joke!
I hope that Riley and Frankie can remember this Timeline.
Anyway:i am hyped for the next Chapter!
Aww! That's awesome. Don't worry, it was just a dream! I would never joke about resets! that would be horrible! D:
Branchwing: Oh.
Oh.
Please don't tell me there was a reset. If it was a reset, I guess it kind of makes sense? If Frisk knew about the Red X stuff, they would probably reset to get away from it. But, they already got their happy ending, so why would they reset?
Anyways, this story is very good so far! Keep up the great work!
*Branchwing is filled with dread.
They didn't! Just a dream! :)
AceLegends: ...you WOT?
Nah, it can't be a reset, can it? Either it's a false alarm that gets sans riled up, or there's a reset, but then he goes back to the surface and meets franky and Riley again... you DID tell us it wouldn't end with a reset, so if a reset really did happen, it's probably gonna serve to help sans get over his fear of another reset happening. Like, meets Riley again, she somehow remembers him, and the like. Just my speculation anyway, looking forward to seeing how sans will take this...
Well, it's gonna serve a purpose, that's for sure.
Guest: WHATTHEFUCKOMFG
Exactly my thoughts. But it's okay now. lol
iamdaraptor: Okay. Y'know,because the attack was so sudden,I first thought it was a PTSD Red X nightmare. A situation found only in Scarf Mom's dreams. But NOPE. It's real. But we got a new character out of it so alright I guess...?
But,in other news. My reaction to the ending of the chapter: "What? Is- is that-? Oohhh SHIT! OH SHIT! SHITSHITSHITCRA-! Oh wait. They said they wouldn't ever pull a RESET. That the story was already sad enough as it is. Huh. It's probably just a nightmare."
"..."
"WELL WHADD'YA KNOW?!"
Yeah please don't scare me like that again.
Basically we're just trying to show you that Red X is getting worse, and worse and worse.
And yes- right on. Just another nightmare. But a bad, bad one.
Reader99: What is the science behind sans's teleportation,also, was one of red x's victems frisk
Science? That is definitely a question for my cousin, though I think it's part of his magic. Honestly- I'm new enough to the Undertale fandom where I don't know enough about headcanons and actual canon to answer that question. lol
And, nah! It was just a bad dream.
coolPastagal: I know this poor skeleman did not just wake up in Snowdin. I know I don't like the snow, but Sans must despise it by now. ):
~I'm crying, plz help
I cried as me and my cousin wrote this chapter, it was too painful for our OTP. But the next one's gonna be good, so look forward to that.
Anonymous: NOOOOONONONONONONONNONO HOW DARE YOU CRUSH MY SOUL IN THIS WAY OMG HOW COULD YOU THIS HAD BETTER BE A DREAM OR I SWEAR- but seriously, you did a fantastic job. You are a very talented writer. This is one of my favorite fanfics anD NOW IM DYING INSIDE HAHAHA
It's a dream. Thank you so much! I'm glad to hear it. I hope you liked this chapter. :)
Guest: THIS BETTER BE A DREAM!
Awesome story tho.
Thanks! This is awesome! :)
SileroftheWorld: "And then Sans wakes up in Snowdin"
NO. THIS IS NOT OKAY.
Have mercy mysterious author person!
*cries*
*mercy offered* Here ya go! The next chapter's gonna be good.
Someguy: I sense a dunking coming up. While at the moment this is good and all, i wonder, what's the end goal? Getting rid of red x? Riley and sans getting married? I guess what im trying to say is, don't write yourself into a corner. Keep up the good work, ciou!
Yes, I totally get that! We were talking about that just the other day. We realized the other day we're on chapter thirty six! We need to get this moving! So, we've been working on our little outline and we're headed for the climax. I think the main goal is for Sans to be happy, and you know he can never be happy if he continues to think that a reset's coming. So... more on that later. lol
trvlsize23: Wait...what!? NOOOOOO! Good chapter. Excuse me for a sec. *cries in corner* (PS. I'm addicted to the song now.)
Thanks! The next one's gonna be good too. What did ya think of this one? (YAS. That song is gold.)
Guest: ...Hold on... *Rereads the double date part* "Red X attack- Two monsters and a human dead".
Two monsters and a human...
Toriel, Asgore, and Frisk...
Please tell me I'm jumping to conclusions (but then the reset would make so much sense!)
No... it's okayyyyy. They not gone! Everyone's fine! :)
ohgodohgodohgod: *Silently praying its just a nightmare* Oh god no please no oh god why oh no if this is a nightmare I will be so happy if its real I destroy you why and if it is a real reset at least don't make it genocide or make Sans actually ask Frisk to never reset (Wait what if one of Frisk's friends died and they reset because of that) am I rambling too much? No, I'm not rambling too much. If this is a REAL reset I will throw my tablet across the room (Onto some pillows) so please.
Don't. Be. A. Real. Reset.
Or I will send my OC, Serif, after you.
(By the way Serif is a harmless nerd)
After all, If its a reset, I need to not destroy if I want things back to normal.
It's just a nightmare! It's okay. (A terrible, awful nightmare!) :(
I guest as much: Great update! Dang, Sans sounds like, maybe, from a certain perspective, he's PISSED. It must feel like the world is out to get him. Oh snap was the human that died frisk. That would be completely in-character and would explain the reset. Now I'm paranoid about what's going to happen next chapter! I can't wait for the next update!
(Also, thank you for updating this story on a semi-frequent level, it's really nice.)
Yeah, he's pissed, and it's just gonna get worse- too. Ha! The whole human thing though- human and two monsters- that was totally an accident. Oh well...
Asriel Dreemurr: RED X IS BACK HOLY SHIT MOTHER OF FUCKING SHIT BITCH...oh yah I also have a theory I actually just read this one but I thought I came up with it what if CHARA is actually sans nagging voice of PHSD... What if he remembers those words from the geno route and his head is just repeating them... This would make sense since he has PHSD... Lastly why is he afraid of the reset he knows frisk has power over the timeline...unless... She somehow lost her determination... OMG DID FRISK LOOSE HER DETERMINATION BY LEAVING THE UNDERGROUND this also would make sense oh and yah is it bad I didn't get phased when red x attacked Riley...it seemed like I knew you wouldn't kill her off... Oh and DID SHE SIT ON A PILE OF SUGAR... CAUSE SHE HAS A SWEET ASS... Wtf is wrong with me... Lastly this chapter hit me emotionally cause the other day I saw this kid getting bullied by two other like I think 4 grraders so he is the comparison
2 fourth graders
V.s.
1 third grader...
Later that day... Fourth grader 1: shut the **** up you little ****.
*asreil walks in*
asriel(5th grader):put...him...down...
Fourth grader:oh **** *4th grader runs away*
Man it felt great to do that... That's why this chapter hit me so hard maaan... Nice feels though ... Oh sh*t I just relised my school kids curse alot
I'm never sure what to say about some of this. But yes, Red X is back, well- always there. And they're getting more bold, and worse. And it's just gonna be bad.
Guest: AHHHHHHHHhHHHHHH!WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS! IS FRISK THE DEAD HUMAN?! IS THAT WHY THERE WAS A RESET?! OR IS IT JUST A NIGHTMARE?! IDK WHICH OUTCOME I LIKE BETTER! I
LOVE THIS STORY! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Noo... it's okay! Nightmare! How'd you like this chapter!
Aww! That's awesome!
President Potato: WHY MUST YOU LEAVE THE CHAPTER THERE?! HAS THERE BEEN A RESET? IS SANS JUST DREAMING?
HAS SOMETHING GONE WRONG WITH THE TIMELINE? WHY MUST YOU END THERE? WHYYYYYYYYYY?
Dreams! It's okay! It was just a dream! :)
Potato: Potato Has Returned. I actually have an account but I don't want to log in, so anyways...
*A skeleton with glowing blue eyes and wearing a jacket like sans's except more of an icy blue color and a pair of jeans appears out of thin air)
Greetings. I am Teresa. But, Everyone just calls me cake. Anyways...You Reset It. You Reset EVERYTHING. Everything. You and Frisk have A LOT of explaining to do.
*The Skeleton waves their hand and Frisk appears, frozen in place*
Now. Explain.
Why. Did. You. Reset. *The Skeletons hands begin to glow an icy blue and the temperature drops to 0 Degrees*
*Frisk is too terrified to do anything*
*The Skeleton Freezes Frisk and turns to MH_C's Screen* It better not be a real reset. You WILL regret it.
Greetings, Teresa. We didn't reset it! It's gonna be okay... And Frisk is not at fault. All is well. :)
DatOldDood: NOOOOOOO PLZ NOT A RESET! AFTER ALL THIS FANGIRLING!
NOOOO!
It's okay! More Fangirling-appropriate moments to come! :)
JustaRandomGal: *reads last line 100 times* NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU ok calm your self gal... *deep breath* 2 things I see possible: Sans is just having a bad dream or 2: Frankie and Rily gain that ability and remember Sans orrrrrr 3 that's that and the fanfic is over but if that's the case NUUUUUUU WHAT WILL I READ?! Plz let it be a dream or I will come over there and punch Frisk for resetting XD
No! We're not done yet. And I'm gonna tell ya a big secret. We might be thinking about... writing a sequel... and... a third one too... maybe... hehehh...
TheTrueBuckbuck2: Have you ever heard the piano remix of Megalovania? I keep hearing it in my head during the sad parts.
Also, Snowdin better be a dream or a flashback. Please don't be a reset.
Have you ever heard the vocals for Megalovania, holy goodness. It makes me cry every time. Wows.
Dream! It's a dream! :D
Guest: WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO FRIKIN RED X
I HONESTLY CAN NOT WAIT UNTIL SANS DUNKS THEM AGAIN
POOR SCARF MOM
Yes! Dunking soon! :D
THANKS ALL FOR THE REVIEWS! :D The next chapter's gonna be great!
See ya then!
-MH_C