Disclaimer: IDK what to do with this because everything is so confusing (for those who this applies to, you really should get cracking on the books)
EPOV
There wasn't much to distract me. I was also depriving myself of food for too long. Hunting seemed logical. I was starving and it was something to do. Something to distract my mind. Emmet had to drag me out of the steel hut and into the car, I was too weak to run, to walk, to move. Rosalie sat in the drivers seat and started up the jeep as soon as i was inside the car door.
Rosalie looked in the rear view mirror, took a long stare at the person staring back, and backed out of the drive way. We all looked at her, knowing that using anything close to a mirror to drive was unnecessary but I knew that she only did this to drink my weak, broken posture in, maybe saving it for future memory of what...she...did to me. What became of me. Everyone else thought she was inspecting herself again, not needing to look good in order to hunt, they thought of the gesture as superfluous. She wasn't the type of person to rub my deadness in my face or joke about it the way Emmet would, but she couldn't control her thoughts and apologized many times on her behalf.
They all did. They all apologized many times, all being careful not to say her name. Not to think of her face. Not to hear her voice on their head, although the way they would have remembered it would be unjust to the way her voice actually rolled off her tongue, the way her blood actually rushed to her face creating a scarlet shade, the way her lips would move on mine with eagerness and warmth, extreme warmth. But still they avoided thinking about her at all.
Rosalie was in no mood to keep up with my obvious slow pace as we found the forest edge. Immediately she found an easy kill, and disappeared to trap it. She came back quickly, carrying her catch and holding it up to my hard, dead, black eyes. She mused, "If you gain a little strength now, you might be able to catch one on your own."
I sighed and she brought the bear down onto the ground. I slowly crouched down towards it and found its already broken neck. Then I latched my venomous teeth into the skin, and put pressure allowing me to break through the skin and into a blood vessel.
It took obvious effort to break through the skin, though once I began to drink I could feel the strength returning. I had sucked it dry before I could feel my normal strength return, i needed more.
I stood up, unable to break away from my food source that had been so long out of my reach. Emmet had already found another for me, they were waiting for me to be strong enough to run so we can properly hunt.
I no longer objected as I had previously done before logic hit me. It took 5 full grown bears and a deer to have the strength to run. Even then my eyes stayed a dangerous black until the forest began to rush around me. At least I had no memories of being with her and hunting, no way that this could remind me of her. No connections to the world I stupidly left behind me, to keep her safe. She was safe, she was. There was no more danger for her. I could live now, for there was no more for her to fear . She was...better.
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