Bucky hated that uniform.
He held it in his hands, looking at it with a mixture of discuss and love.
Somehow he did like it, if he though about it.
It sounded strange, but that amount of control, which seemed to hold him back whenever he wore it made him feel save.
Saved from himself.
Saved from borders, rules.
Saved from guilt.
Whoever gave orders was in charge, had the responsibility.
He was just the weapon.
He didn't pull the trigger.
He felt free from guilt in it.
And in the same moment it made him feel so guilty.
A knock woke him.
He turned around, watching her leaning against his door frame.
She still wore the ruffled blouse and the high waist trousers.
He actually really loved this more rebellious style these days.
"He Mignon.", she smiled and regarded him.
Bucky glared at her.
"How many languages do you even speak?"
No matter how hard he tried to simply stay cool around her, he always sounded offended or even angry without really wanting it.
Still better than mumbling and stuttering but still, not good.
She giggled as she walked up to him, still keeping her distance.
Steve seemed to be right with that too.
"Many. I had some time to learn a few.", she spoke, watching him when she approached.
She couldn't really get anything from him. Normally, she would look at gestures and looks and she knew what was happening, with him it was different.
She had no idea what he would do next. How he'd react to certain things.
And she hasn't really seen him in action yet, so she didn't know if she could stop him if he'd tried anything.
Did anything to her. With her.
"Is that it?", she pointed at the uniform in his hands and he nodded slightly.
"Ahhh...wunderschön...", she whispered in awe, suddenly breaking her own rule, stepping closer to him, touching the leather on it.
"Beautiful, truly a masterpiece...", she repeated in English, staring at many stripes and expensive fabric.
"May i?", she asked carefully, looking up to stare him right in the eye.
Was that a small shade of red on her cheeks? No. It was possibly only his imagination playing tricks on him.
He simply nodded and she took it out of his hands. She stood right next to him, barely centimeters separating them.
It was the first time after last night that she was that close to him.
Looking down at her, Bucky only now noticed that she was actually quite small. The last time he saw her, he sat the whole time, and he wouldn't trust his senses in comparing anyone with Steve anymore after he grew that extremely much.
Her hand glided other the leather as if it was some kind of artifact. Something she searched for her whole life.
Her eyes were wide open and her tongue would lick her upper lip from time to time, stroking the uniform in a manner, that seemed like pure desire.
Bucky felt strange standing next to this attractive woman which seemed like she would press the fabric at her barely clothed body at any moment.
But nothing like that happened. She simply held it an arm length away from herself, staring at it and touching it with her other hand.
He felt so silly.
Primal instincts. Longing. Craving. He nearly forgot how it felt like to really be that close to a female being again. His thoughts really went on a riot just by looking at her.
"B-Bucky?", she muttered flustered, turning to him.
Her eyes were wide open and her cheeks -no doubt this time- bright red, as she stared up to him.
Damn she was small.
"Would you do me a favor?" "Do you want me to...wear it for you?"
Both of them spoke at the exact same moment, just staring in each others eyes.
Bucky licked his lips. She looked so...craving.
How could there be so much sexual tension...no Bucky, just tension..., he had to remind himself, because of that damn uniform?
"Could you do that for me?", she asked again, her voice sounded begging and he just felt so damn adored.
"Sure", Bucky had to bit his lip not to say -doll- at the end of the sentence.
It seemed like he lifted a weight off her chest.
"Oh god thank you so much James. That is really nice of you.", she thanked him, with that beautiful smile on her face.
"Like...now? Here?", Bucky asked confused as she simply kept staring at his uniform.
"N-no! No! Not...no!", she seemed to get even redder now, shaking her head, "not here. Later. In the bar. Could you wear it there please?"
"Oh. Uhm. Sure. Yes.", he nodded.
She thanked him again, before prancingly swirling out of the room.
Bucky just remained there. Staring into the nothingness of the empty corridor.
He released a shakily, quiet groan which sounded like a sigh before going over his reports again.
"May i sit there?"
Natasha turned around to give a small, inviting smile. Not that she hasn't notice Y/N a long while ago, she simply didn't want to scare her off by awkwardly saying "Hi", from such a far distance.
Sometimes - Natasha found her own skills frightening.
"Thanks.", Y/n mumbled, putting her stuff at the table.
Her "stuff" involved about a hundred pages of documents, two pencils, a cup of tea and an apple.
Natasha asked herself how she was able to walk around with all that.
She herself sat there, with some coffee and her laptop in front of her, going through mission Intel.
"What is all that for? You barely got here and already stuck in work?", Romanoff asked.
Y/n sighed while taking a sip from her cup.
"Well, I'm doing some research on the Winter Soldier. I know absolutely nothing about the man. Like...nothing. Only the few things Steve told me. Aka: that's Buck. Say hi."
Natasha would have laughed at the joke but she simply stared at the woman next to her, which spoke that last sentence in Russian.
"You...um you know we don't have to speak Russian."
"Oh...of course i know it's just...", she tried to explain, "i like speaking with people in their native language. First of all because i hope i could improve my Russian a little bit and it's just...when people speak their mother tongue, they're mostly more themselves.", Y/n was quite fluent. Well, it was far from perfect and she still had a quite thick accent but Natasha liked the idea of it.
"AND...no one besides Jarvis will be able to understand us. So we can have some Girl talks without anyone noticing.", Y/N grinned and Natasha answered with a smile herself.
"Sounds good."
Nat started to understand why Steve loved that woman so much.
She was straight forward and hardworking and serious, just like him, but when she adjusted a little to you, she was sweet and caring and that was something Natasha really appreciated.
After a while of silent working Natasha looked over to her again.
She was reading, marking keywords and putting them on an extra sheet of paper, making notes throughout the process, looking very concentrated.
"You don't like to work with...newer devices i guess?", Nat asked her, pointing at her laptop.
Y/N stared back at her with wide eyes, starting to laugh.
"No no no. I love them, really. I'm maybe old, but i'm not Steve Rogers.", she shoved a smartphone out of her pocket, "see? I'm actually pretty up to date. I love every single computer out there, trust me.
It was HELL back then, only writing with feathers, in the middle of the night. The candlelight made your eyes burn like fire."
Natasha stared at her.
"Wow...when was that?"
"Hmmm...i did a lot of writing back in the day. About 1320...1380 maybe. Who knows. Can't remember. I can remember my hand hurting though. Thank God for e-mails. And Snapchat."
Natasha chuckled.
"This is amazing. Like...do you remember a lot of things?"
"No. absolutely not. Most people can't even remember what they did last Saturday.
I remember small things though. Like...that girl that sold flowers at the marketplace. Or that one perfect red dress i owned in the 15th century."
"So the small things?"
"The small things with impact...yeah."
"So...did Steve tell you about the reports, did they ask you already about them?"
"Yeah they did."
"Good boys."
Both woman looked down thoughtfully for a while.
"So why do you use Paper then?", Natasha repeated her question.
Was that a shade of red on Y/N's face?
She noticed a shadow and looked up to see Bucky leaning against the door frame.
Y/N hadn't noticed him yet and stared down at her papers, caressing the side of her teacup while mumbling.
"I...it's just i though that maybe. Bucky would like to handle some of the stuff he knew back in the day better. The only really contact with computers he had by now was probably...well in the wrong hands.
He is so...he doesn't deserve this. Any of it. He's such a sweet guy."
Natasha gave her a small kick beneath the table.
"Psst. He's right there."
Speaking of the devil.
Bucky was staring at both of the woman.
Y/N was looking up from the table and her gaze met his icy blue eyes.
"Oh hi there Bucky.", she smiled.
"Hi...i just...", he came closer.
Bucky was strange to look at. Even with a normal shirt and jeans he looked way to big and muscular to not be intimidating.
"Wanted to hand you the reports. I'm finished and i though i...i'd give it to you now. So you don't have to do it later.", he mumbled, staring at her, reaching his normal hand out.
She took it from him and her hand brushed against his.
"Told you he's a cutie.", Y/N turned to Natasha, speaking Russian.
Natasha's eyes widened.
Wait.
Didn't she...
Oh god.
She didn't knew Bucky spoke Russian perfectly.
Oh no.
Natasha stared up at Bucky in panic and would've said something if there wasn't...
That look on Bucky's face. That embarrassed look at his face.
He looked...
He was...
His cheeks were flashed red. His heart probably pounded in his chest like crazy and he just stared at her.
When his eyes met Natasha's it began to get really awkward.
"She doesn't know i speak Russian?!", Bucky's eyes screamed, without him actually saying a word.
"I...YOU like her.", a small smirk appeared on Natasha's face.
"I don't.", Bucky's expression hardened but Nat could read him like an open book.
"Oh really?"
Bucky's expression became one of a killer again. He looked ruthless and angry. Very angry.
"Tell anyone, and i'll kill you."
"Guys?", Y/N asked carefully and both the assassins suddenly stared at her again.
"Are you okay? You're not saying anything?"
Bucky and Natasha stared at each other and then back at her.
"It's nothing. Really.", Bucky stuttered.
"Do you want to sit with us for a wh-"
Before Y/N could finish her sentence, Bucky already pulled back a chair and sat across her.
She smiled happily and pushed her cup near him. "Have some tea Bucky."
"Thanks.", he smiled shyly and Natasha could hear herself scream in her thoughts. This was just too cute.
"Oh my god...", Y/n voice rang after a while.
She spoke Russian again, which alone made Bucky's heart jump.
Natasha leaned over to her to look what she'd found.
Y/n held a small black white photograph in her hand.
On it, was a slightly younger Bucky, wearing a united states uniform and a big grin on his face.
"Honestly now Natasha, guys look so extremely much hotter in uniforms. I mean look at him! Damn...", Y/N sighted and when Nat looked up Bucky just stared at the photo, possibly dying on the inside right now.
"Look Bucky, an old photo of you", Y/N repeated, holding the photo out for Bucky.
He just stared at her and thanked god for his training as a cruel assassin, which prevented his hand from shaking.
Bucky stared at the photo.
The young man looked nothing like him.
He smiled so brightly...did he use to smile often?
So he DID have a chance of her liking him...70 years ago.
Bucky sighed. Maybe he should cut his hair.
Natasha looked at him.
She still looked at him when Y/N already started working again.
Maybe she should help the poor man a little.
"So...Y/N, what do you think?", she asked.
The other woman still didn't bother to look up from her work, writing.
Bucky loved everything about her like that.
The way her hair fell, the way she tucked it back behind her ear.
The way her handwriting looked. It was so beautiful it seemed unreal.
Every letter, perfectly formed.
No wonder it seemed so nice, she probably wrote since a few hundred years.
Still.
"What do i think about what?", Y/N finally answered.
The woman were back to Russian again and Bucky flinched.
"What are you going to do with our soldier here?"
Natasha avoided his name, so if he wouldn't already know what they said, he wouldn't know they'r speaking about him.
"I don't know yet...that's why i'm making a list."
"A list?"
"Yeah. With things we have to do."
"Like?"
Bucky felt uncomfortable and interested at the same time.
"Telling him about the historical facts. Music. Movies."
"Okayyy."
"About all the new innovations."
"Like computers and so on?"
"Exactly, that and weapons."
"Is that what you did with Steve too?"
"Somehow, but i have to be more...well intimate with Bucky i guess."
Bucky winced at that, but tried to hide it.
Natasha giggled. "What do you mean?"
"Social things. I mean...i have to see if we get along, but if we do, there's so much i'd like to do with him."
"Like?"
"Small things at first. Ice cream. Cinema. "
"Oh...sure...but...why ice cream?"
"Because that's something we had back then too. Maybe helps him remember."
"But you did all that with Steve too, didn't you."
"Yeah. Somehow. Thing with Bucky is that we have to work a lot with emotions like...trust and understanding and self awareness and acceptance. But to work on things like that, we have to be close. And we aren't. Not after one day of knowing each other."
Natasha went silent.
She looked at Bucky but he simply looked down thoughtfully.
He didn't deserve this.
None of it. She was so nice and she cared so much.
Why? He was nothing to her, she owed him nothing and still she was willingly sacrificing her time and power for him.
"Would you like to get to know him better?", Natasha asked.
A small blush crept on Bucky's face and he looked up at Y/N just to see that it was the same thing with her too.
"I mean...have you seen him? Who wouldn't want to get to know him?", she chuckled, "I'm just afraid he'll keep a distance all the time and doesn't want to have anything to do with me at all. I mean, he has no reason.", Y/n's smile disappeared and she still looked down.
Natasha glanced from her face to his, seeing that he was at the verge of saying something.
He stared at her.
"I...I'm-"
"Bucky! There you are!"
All three of them turned to the side to see Steve walking up to them.
"You idiot...", Natasha groaned silently and Bucky closed his eyes en nerved, trying to stay cool.
"There you are! Come with me, i need you.", Steve called.
Bucky looked back at Y/N. Her eyes were shining and her lips slightly parted as she looked up at him.
He wanted to say something anything.
Yet again, he couldn't.
He blinked a few times, before coughing out a "Excuse me...", and leaving.
When he was gone Y/N sighed.
"This will be rough...i'll never get him to be okay with me"
"Trust me, he will be.", Natasha smirked.
"Is there any plausible reason you made us come here?", Tony snapped, as she purred himself a drink.
"Ahhh. Yes. Yes there is Tony.", she hissed back, still keeping a welcoming smile.
"Let's talk about the Winter Soldier."