Brown Eyed Girl Chapter 6
First Date
Olivia looked up when she heard a knock on her office door a smile appearing across her face when she saw a clerk from the front desk carrying a large bouquet of flowers.
"These were delivered for you Lieutenant Benson." He told her.
"Thank you." Olivia said as she placed them on her desk waiting for him to leave before taking the card out to read it.
Will you go out with me on Friday? R
Was all that he had written out on the card, she looked to make sure that her door was closed before picking up her phone to call him.
"Are you asking me out on a date Barba?" She teased when he answered the phone.
"Well it occurred to me the other day that despite the fact that we spend almost all of our time together, Mari calls you Mama, I attended Donuts with Dad at Noah's preschool last week, and I am wildly madly in love with you that we have never actually been on a date."
Oliva thought back to the conversation that had led to Rafael attending the event at Noah's school. Well it wasn't so much a conversation as it was their first real fight.
It was Saturday morning the kids were playing while Rafael was going over same case files and Oliva was sorting through a week's worth of mail and school notes from Noah's preschool. Rafael looked up from his work when he heard her let out a groan.
"What's wrong?"
"Oh It's nothing." She said, "Just an event at Noah's school"
"What is it?" He asked because usually she was excited about anything with his school.
"It's Donuts with Dad. They want the kids' dads to come in for the mornings for Donuts and some kind of program. They had Muffins with Mom back in the spring and I felt so bad for the kids whose Dads had to act as mom that day. What a way to remind a kid that they don't have someone in their life. I guess I will be playing Dad for the day." She said shaking her head then looking up for the first time and seeing the hurt in Rafael's eyes.
"Or I could go." He suggested tentatively.
"I don't know if that's a good idea." Oliva told him. "It might give people including Noah the wrong idea."
"What idea is that Liv? An Idea that they wouldn't already get from hearing my daughter call you Mama for the last few weeks?" He asked his hurt coming out as anger.
"That's different Raf. She's a baby." Liv protested.
"How is it different Liv? I care for Noah the exact same way you care for Mari." He told her trying his best to whisper since they were only a few feet away.
"It just is." Was all Liv could come up with even though she knew she owed him a better explanation.
Rafael got up from the table where he had been working, "I need to go for a run. Should I take Mari in the stroller?" He asked which for some reason hurt Olivia more than he meant it too.
"No, let her play." Liv said trying to control the tears in her eyes.
Noah looked up from where he had been playing, "I want to run with you Rafi. We can leave Mama and Mari and have boy time!"
Rafael looked back at Olivia to judge her reaction she nodded, "Ok, amigo grab your shoes and coat."
It was after lunch when they returned and Noah happily explained Rafi had taken him for pizza. Mari was napping and Olivia told him he could watch a movie in her room.
"I'm sorry" She told Rafael once Noah was settled.
"Can you tell me why you don't want me to go?" He asked her.
"I do want you to go. I'm just scared." She explained.
"Scared of what? The questions people are going to ask? Liv they are already asking them, just maybe not to us. I mean Mari called you Mama the other day when we stopped by the squad room and when Finn came by to bring you files last week late at night you were in my apartment not yours. Whatever we have going on here isn't exactly a secret. " He pointed out.
"I'm not afraid of the questions. I'm am adult and can tell other adults to mind their own business until we figure everything out."
"Then what is it?" He asked
"I'm afraid of Noah getting hurt." She said quietly not wanting to see the look on Rafael's face.
"I would never hurt him Liv. I love him." He told her tears forming in his eyes.
"But if this doesn't work between us and suddenly you and Mari are gone from our lives he is going to be devastated." She said her tears now falling.
Rafael closed the distance between them and pulled her into his arms, "Liv, I'm not disappearing from either of your lives. I know we've put off conversations and we've skipped some steps along the way but I think it's time we start defining things here a little better. I love you Liv and like I told you before I am committed to getting this right."
Liv wrapped her arms tighter around him, "I would be so proud for Noah to have you at Donuts with Dad next week." She said as she laid her head against him.
"So what do you say, can I take you out on our first date?" He asked her.
"Yes, I suppose that it's time for a first date." She said and the paused, "But you should know that I have a very strict rule about not sleeping with someone on the first date."
"Oh well that's too bad because I already arranged for my mother to keep the kids overnight. I guess I can call her and let her know that won't be necessary." He added nonchalantly.
"You know I am actually a pretty terrible rule follower." Live said with a smile at the thought of an entire night to themselves.
"Oh trust me ADA Barba is well aware of that fact." He laughed,
"Get back to work." She laughed.
"I love you Liv."
"I love you too." She said before hanging up.
She motioned for Finn and Rollins to come in who were standing at her door.
"Nice flowers Liv." Amanda commented, "Anything you want to tell us?"
Liv smiled, "Just someone hoping for a date."
Finn rolled his eyes, "It's about time. I figured Mari and Noah would be in college before you two admitted anything was going on."
"I have admitted nothing. Now did you two come here to discuss my personal life or the case?" She asked them.
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Oliva took one last look at herself in the mirror and couldn't help but feel silly at her own nerves. She and Rafael were practically living and raising children together and yet she felt butterflies in her stomach at the thought of going to dinner alone with him. There was still that part of her that worried that he would realize he wasn't really in love with her but with what she provided for him and Mari. Yet at the same time she had never felt as truly loved as she did by him. She was lost in all of her thoughts and didn't hear him come in until he spoke from the doorway of her bedroom.
"You better tell me right now if you are planning on sticking to that rule of yours." He said as he took in the sight of her in her new black dress. It hugged her body perfectly and showed off just enough to make him want more.
She smiled as she turned to him, "I thought you were fine with me in yoga pants and a t shirt."
He walked across the bedroom and pulled her close and kissed her slowly, "I love you in anything and I'm pretty sure I've made it clear I love you in nothing, but that doesn't mean I can't appreciate you in this too."
Oliva kissed him back, "Good answer Counselor"
"I knew law school would come in handy one day." He laughed, "Let's get out of here or we are never going to have a first date."
During dinner Liv quickly realized that she had nothing to be nervous about. They spent the evening laughing, talking and flirting. They were able to linger over drinks and carrying on conversation without being interrupted.
"You know this is kind of nice, it's too bad it took us five years, two kids, and practically living together for us to actually go on a date." Olivia teased him at one point.
"Speaking of all of those things I got the papers today to finalize Mari's adoption." He told her.
"Raf, that's wonderful!" She said reaching for his hand.
"Yeah it is and it got me thinking that maybe we should get things figured before we finalize things." He explained.
"What do you mean?" She asked wondering exactly where he was going.
"Well it just makes sense to go ahead and put you on the adoption papers from the start instead of trying to go back later and do it, it's just legally much easier now. It would also make it easier to change Noah's at the same time, especially if we get married before we finalize everything." He went on explaining.
"Wait a second, did you just propose to me by making the legal argument for why I should marry you and join our families?" Liv asked wondering if she was hearing him correctly.
"Yes, it just makes sense Liv, we both know what we want and there are legal factors to consider."
"Well actually Counselor, at this exact moment I'm not entirely sure what I want. The thing I do know is that I do not want to be proposed to my District Attorney Rafael Barba, because that guy is kind of an ass. What I might be willing to consider is a proposal from my best friend and lover Rafael Barba, the man who isn't afraid let me know how much he loves me and the two children that I am really hoping to raise with him. I would also like a proposal that sound more like a love letter and less like a legal brief. For now though I think I would like to go home." Olivia told him a mixture of anger and hurt rising in her as she stood to leave. She got about three steps before she heard him day her name.
"Olivia, from the moment you walked into that courtroom you have been challenging and changing my world. Before I met you I didn't care about making the world a better place or getting justice for people. I just wanted to win. Then you showed me winning isn't enough if you don't have heart. Liv you have a bigger heart and more capacity to love than anyone ever met. I always wanted my world black and white and you bring more colors and shades of gray than I ever knew existed. The world you bring me to is the one that I want to live in. Yes, I want to raise our children together and be a family but even if Mari and Noah had never come into our lives I would still want to spend the rest of my life with you. Please, Liv will you marry me?" He asked her as he pulled a ring from his pocket.
Olivia smiled as she walked back to him, "I will say one thing Barba, you sure know how to give a girl her last first date. Yes, I will marry you because you balance me out, you know me better than anyone ever has and yet you are still here. You aren't afraid to tell me that I'm wrong or to admit when you are. I do not want to go through one more thing in this life without you. And yes, I want all those legal things you mentioned earlier too."
"Can I take you home now?" He asked after sliding the ring on her finger.
"I thought you'd never ask." She said with a smile leading him out of the restaurant.
TBC