5. And Nobody Gets Hurt

When Toon Link is injured in battle, Zelda makes an important decision amongst herself- the battlefield is no place for a child- and takes action.

Today the children, and Lana, are participating in an activity that is much less destructive than fighting. Zelda steps outside towards the castle gardens, stopping by the courtyard. King Daphnes offered to do something peaceful with the children today, and he faithfully observes the activities.

"What did you all decide to do today?" the princess asks as she approaches. Lana cheerfully replies, "Finger painting!" She lies on her stomach with a canvas on the ground in front of her. She is a little messy, but otherwise everything is great.

Joining Lana is Toon Link, with his arm in a cast, Young Link, Marin, Medli, Skull Kid, and Agitha. Tetra was with them, but she got so bored that she aimlessly wandered off. Now she is lost in the castle garden maze, but nobody will ever find her. Each of the young artists is finding joy in either creating a masterpiece or a mess.

Toon Link shows his finishing product to Zelda. She nods with a smile like an approving kindergartener teacher. "This is lovely, Toon Link. I didn't know you liked the color purple so much."

"It's Wizzro," exclaims Toon Link proudly. That explains his image of a simplistic blob of purple in the middle of a gray background. King Daphnes offers Toon Link a clean canvas to create something else, and Toon Link eagerly accepts it.

Zelda thinks philosophically about Toon Link's art. First she analyzes the simplicity of the art in an attempt to understand what this image says about Wizzro in the eyes of Toon Link. Then Zelda realizes that it isn't about Toon Link's art; it's about the environment these kids are living in.

She examines the art of the others. Agitha's painting of a butterfly is exquisite. But the butterfly is only the foreground. In the background there is what appears to be a blurred image of Midna alongside several Darknuts. Considering the quality of Agitha's butterfly, Zelda can't decide whether her image of Midna was purposely blurred to show her as out-of-focus, or if Agitha messed up and tried to blur out the mistake to try again. Zelda would understand the latter situation; Midna isn't exactly easy to draw.

Moving on, Skull Kid painted… something? The canvas is mostly just red. Zelda watches intently as Skull Kid continues painting, unaware of the princess's presence. Skull Kid is uncharacteristically very solemn as he creates, which is very unnerving to Zelda. An overwhelming sense of emotion takes Zelda by the neck as a small, stick-like figure is placed in the middle of the red. This figure has an expression of fear. Zelda chooses to move on before she unknowingly tries to decipher the meaning of Skull Kid's unsettling painting.

Marin and Medli have drawn some nicer images. Marin's passion for seagulls has inspired her picture of the inhabited sky. Medli, though similar in topic, chooses to illustrate a self-portrait under the ocean, a realm mostly unknown to this bird-like descendant of the Zoras. A breath of happiness soothes Princess Zelda over this. She continues to view these artists in action.

Slowly, a pattern starts to reveal itself to Zelda. Looming above Marin's happy seagull, another bird is impaled in the chest. Sure, the arrow missed Marin's primary seagull, but that doesn't make the untimely demise of Marin's other imaginary seagull any better. Medli's ocean isn't any better, as Medli's ocean is filled with angry, bloodthirsty marine life. The only reason Medli Drawing is safe is the bubble of air around her.

Zelda turns to face King Daphnes. "I'm sensing a pattern here," she deduces, catching the king's intrigue. "It might be wise to step away from war for a little while."

…

"You want us to do what?"

Ganondorf, Zant, and Ghirahim stand before the princess in the foyer. Zelda doesn't reply to Ganondorf, and instead stands before Ghirahim. She holds out her hand like a teacher confiscating a student's phone. The demon lord is stumped; what in the world does she want? Hesitantly, Ghirahim gives Zelda a high-five. Zelda is not appeased. "Your sword, Ghirahim."

Ghirahim steps back. "UH, no! Why would I surrender my sword to you? What do you want with it?" Zelda gives up and moves to the taller of Ganondorf's two minions. She politely asks, "Can you relinquish your scythes?"

"First of all, they're scimitars, ma'am," Zant replies. "And why?"

The princess cryptically answers, "It will make more sense after I take all of your weapons." That's when Ganondorf and Ghirahim take several steps away from Zelda. Zant holds his hands behind his back, determined to not summon his precious scimitars. Zelda turns on her charm with a "Please?"

Ganondorf saves the day by announcing, "This is a waste of our time, men. Let's go." Zant gives a silent sigh of relief. Like magic, the grand castle doors open as Ganondorf approaches them. His minions follow closely behind; the hero who saved them from being stripped of their weapons.

Zelda sighs in sorrow, her efforts in vain. Impa watched from behind the entire time. She encourages, "It was wise to try and ask them first. It would be nice if the easy way worked all the time." Zelda nods. How will she get anyone to drop their weapons in favor of something less violent?

Impa decides to be the leader; an example, if you will. She is the first to relinquish her weapons. Not long before Zelda summoned Ganondorf to the castle, Impa was instructed to bring a large, empty trunk to the foyer. Impa did so, and Zelda provided an explanation. That trunk is to safely store away the deadly arms the warriors utilize on the battlefield until the children return to a peaceful mindset. That trunk could hold the weapons for a day or a year; Zelda is determined to fix what has been broken.

The princess is pleased. She verbally shows gratitude to her army general. But they are not done here. Zelda calls her allies to the castle to do the same. Linkle and the children are unable to attend this meeting, but much to Zelda's surprise, Cia convinced Volga and Wizzro to attend. Zelda explains to her guests the nature of the situation, starting with Toon Link's injury up to this point. Then, she announces what she wants them to do; "Please, place your weapons in the trunk."

The warriors are aghast. Darunia understands Zelda's point, and is willing to give up his hammer if it means better for the kids, but there is no way his hammer will fit in that trunk. Just to be funny, and to turn this fact to Zelda's attention, Darunia places his hammer in the trunk.

The Goron Chieftain steps back, only to gasp as his hammer is swallowed by the trunk. Midna saw the whole thing and goes "wwhhaaaa?" Darunia worriedly examines the trunk, going so far as to pick it up and look inside from below. That wasn't a wise decision on his part, as the hammer spills from the magical chest and lands on Darunia's face. Ruto, Midna, and Wizzro find this outrageously funny. Tingle's mind is blown.

"I placed a little enchantment on the trunk," Zelda explains as she helps Darunia to his feet. "Kind of like Midna's ability to make things disappear and reappear at will, this trunk has more space inside of it than you'd think. It'll keep your stuff safe, and if you reach in wanting something specific, you'll grab it."

"Impressive," Cia compliments. She didn't expect this from Zelda. Darunia returns his hammer to the trunk. Lana, also in favor of Zelda's cause, surrenders her weapons to the chest.

Before anyone else follows in Lana and Darunia's example, Midna points out, "If our weapons, per se, aren't tangible, then what do we do?"

Lana looks at Midna and says, "Easy, just don't use your magic."

"Yeah, that sounds simple in theory, but some of us live off magic, you know," comments the wizard in the room. He feels mocked when Lana skips over to him and tells him he can do it if he tries.

Meanwhile, Midna sighs, "Fine, I'm keeping the Fused Shadows, but I won't use it. Summoning wolves and my hair are included. I'm not going to walk everywhere I go, though." Zelda nods and says, "I'm just asking that everyone with magic doesn't use it for battle purposes. If you want to go back to the Twilight, fine. If you want to reverse time, fine. If you want to make toast with a snap of your finger, fine. Just don't hurt anybody."

As Cia places her scepter in the chest, she tells Zelda, "Good luck getting Ganondorf to go along with this. Even if you get his swords and trident, you'll never stop him from punching the tar out of someone."

Proxi giggles, moving to Zelda's side. "We have ways of… occupying Ganondorf." Cia is officially scared.

…

Zelda makes a quick trip around Hyrule to collect the weapons of everyone that wasn't at Hyrule Castle earlier. The last stop on her list is Linkle's village. There, Linkle manages her cuccos. The cuccos seem a little riled up.

The cucco farmer gives a pleasant greeting to her unexpected guests, Zelda and Darunia, who tagged along carrying the heavy trunk of weapons. Zelda greets Linkle, and then gets to the point, "We're trying to temporarily confiscate everyone's weapons for the good of the kids. I think the constant violence is damaging their psyche."

Zelda's conversation didn't go unheard. "Nah, the constant violence isn't hurting anybody," Skull Kid ensures. He sits on the roof above the group. Noticeably, Majora's Mask is absent. "On the contrary, Skull Kid, isn't someone always getting hurt?" Darunia contradicts. Skull Kid doesn't seem interested in anything that opposes what he has to say.

Linkle has to think about it before she places her crossbows in the chest. "I want those back eventually." Zelda assures that Linkle will see her crossbows again in hopefully the near future, where everything is right in the world.

A hodgepodge of clucking can be heard in the near distance. "Aw, the guys must be back," Linkle concludes. She opens the gate to the cucco pen, expecting whatever she is expecting. Zelda wasn't expecting what she witnesses next, though Darunia can honestly say he isn't surprised. In a collaborative effort, Zant and Ghirahim are herding stray brown cuccos back to Linkle's coop. Considering the cuccos aren't attacking them Zelda can assume that they are humanely herding the birds.

An awkward silence follows as Linkle closes the gate on the recaptured cuccos. Then Linkle realizes that Zelda and Darunia have no idea what's going on. She says, "Oh! The cuccos got out when Skull Kid opened the gate, in case you were wondering." She looks at Skull Kid, who shrugs and defends himself by saying he was just showing the cuccos to Ganondorf's minions.

Zelda proceeds to ask why those two decided to help herd the cuccos back. Ghirahim's mysterious reply is "These two are… rather persuasive." Zant looks up at Skull Kid. Majora has reclaimed its puppet, giving a quiet yet devious chuckle.

Seizing the opportunity, Darunia gets Zelda's attention and refers to the weapons trunk. Zelda gets it and turns to Ganondorf's minions. "Guys," she says. "Might as well do this now. I wanted your guys' weapons earlier because I fear our wars are hurting the children." Zant crosses his arms and nods, saying, "Well, it is war. The likelihood of losing a limb is high."

"She means in the head, Zant," Darunia elaborates. Ghirahim goes "ah", following with "You're worried that battle is tainting their souls; that they might live in paranoia the rest of their lives."

Zelda nods and solemnly says, "This is serious, guys. It is one thing to be tough, but even some of my soldiers who were trained for war won't ever be the same again. I don't want Tetra, or Toon Link, or even Agitha to live the rest of their lives scarred by our need for violence." Darunia raises his hand and admits that he'd rather take a nap than fight any day, but that's out of the question.

In a bold decision, Zant reveals his scimitars. After all, as long as he's got magic, Zelda can't completely take away his ability to wreak havoc. The trunk is opened, and Zant deposits his blades. He is fixated when they sink into the abyss of the chest like a person in quick sand. Ghirahim, as stubborn as ever, challenges Zelda by asking, "And how do you expect to stop us from materializing other weapons?"

"I'm trusting that by putting your weapons away, you are devoting yourself to actually trying to sacrifice fighting, at least until Medli and Marin stop drawing scary pictures," Zelda explains. Ghirahim wonders if that is some sort of metaphor that he doesn't understand. In a sigh of submission, Ghirahim materializes his demon sword and lets it sink into the trunk.

That was easier than Zelda thought it would be. Following up, Linkle looks at Skull Kid. She says, "Hey, to help the cause, how about you let go of your ocarina."

Skull Kid shakes his head and explains, "The ocarina isn't what's hurting people; it's what I can make happen with it that does damage." "Case and point; no ocarina, nobody gets hurt," Linkle rebuttals. There is no arguing out of this one for a win. Linkle is right. "Fine," Skull Kid pouts. "But I'm keeping my trumpet and Majora." He tosses down his ocarina to Linkle, and down it goes into the trunk. Majora found Skull Kid's latest statement funny, as it will decide what it does; not Skull Kid.

Darunia nods and closes the trunk, as it has no more use here. He confirms, "That just leaves Ganondorf." Zant and Ghirahim laugh amongst themselves. There is no way Ganondorf will ever agree to stop fighting. He won't give a crap either about the well-being of the kids; he only cares about the well-being of his own minions because they serve as vassals in war.

Zelda smiles. "I asked Cia and her guys to handicap Ganondorf's magic, as well as his body," she blissfully reveals. This startles Ganondorf's minions. Zant utters, "Wait, what?" Zelda ignores him and continues, "So all I need is one little favor from you two. You guys wouldn't be able to snatch Ganondorf's trident and swords, would you?" Ghirahim promises that taking Ganondorf's tools of destruction will be an easy task for him, so Zelda entrusts him with that mission; grab 'em and take 'em to the trunk.

…

Back at HQ, Zant prays to Hylia that Ganondorf doesn't notice what's missing. His heart skips a beat when a tickled Ghirahim returns in a display of diamonds. In a manner similar to Skull Kid, Ghirahim proudly declares, "And it is done. Princess Zelda has possession of our Lord Ganondorf's swords and trident. I didn't think a reward was in order, but the princess surprised me."

"A reward?" What the demon lord said has Zant curious. He hasn't seen Ghirahim this jumpy and smiley since one of Agitha's beetles got stuck between his toes. Zant continues to interrogate, "And what was this reward?"

Zant doesn't have time to question the sealed-lipped demon again, because a rampaging Ganondorf enters the room. Immediately the men understand what Zelda was referring to when she said they handicapped Ganondorf. A pair of extra fluffy pillows cuffs Ganondorf's monstrous hands, and a gelatin-like substance coats each of Ganondorf's shoes.

"What is this ****?!" curses the Gerudo King in outrageous fury. A wave of terror washes over the Usurper King, every part of him going stiff like a statue. Ghirahim continues to smile, lost in his own little world. Ganondorf observes their behavior; Ghirahim smirking, Zant frozen, this can only mean one thing. Ganondorf bellows, "What is the meaning of this, Zant?!" "It wasn't m-me, it was Zelda," stutters Zant, his voice cracking at the end of his sentence. In hopes of protecting his dignity and his face, Zant puts his helmet on. He let it retract so he could pray, and forgot to put it back up when Ghirahim returned.

With a large poof, Ganondorf sends his pillow fist into Zant's gut, sending his minion flying across the room. Confusingly, Zant discovers that the only part of that process that hurt was hitting the wall. Ganondorf examines the situation in silence before admitting, "That was strangely satisfying."

"Would you like to hit Ghirahim, too, my lord?" Zant suggests. "With pleasure," replies his master. Ghirahim instantly stops smiling. He takes a gelatinous kick to the face, unharmed. This miraculous discovery overwhelms both of Ganondorf's minions with a child-like playfulness. They decide amongst themselves to see the woman responsible for this in hopes of further expanding this discovery. Ganondorf follows discretely.

…

"Here," Lana says as she encases Wizzro's mummified hands in pillows. "Now you can't accidentally scratch someone." She has already baby-proofed Volga with a little bit of magic, and she is now doing the same with the other. Obviously, he is not pleased. Cia finds this amusing.

"Lana! Cia!" call two familiar voices from a nearby distance. Intrigued, the Guardians of Time move to stand at the top of the staircase. Coming from two opposite directions, Zant and Ghirahim enter the valley.

Cia is first to see who's calling. "It's Ghirahim."

"And Zant," Lana adds, looking in the opposite direction. Of course they would show up when Wizzro was handcuffed by pillows. He grumbles, "What do they want?" He is startled, but amused when Volga lets out a nasty belch, smoke acting as the fumes.

"That was disgusting," chastises Cia, looking at her minions over her shoulder. She doesn't notice the oncoming men teleport while looking back, so when she looks at the stairs nobody is there. Lana turns around, Ganondorf's minions there. Cia follows closely after. "Didn't feel like taking the stairs?"

Zant groans before claiming, "I'm getting old, Cia. My hip did something weird last time I used the stairs." Ghirahim brushes off the small talk before getting straight to the point. He explains, "We saw your work on our lord. Furthermore, we felt your work." And Zant adds, "Compared to usual, it was a pleasurable experience!"

Lana disapproves of this. "No! Those pillows are supposed to stop Ganondorf from trying to punch people!"

Cia places a calm hand on her other half's shoulder and says, "There is nothing we can do to stop Ganondorf from acting violently, so instead we made his violence harmless. That is a step in the right direction, Lana." Lana is less upset, but not completely fine either.

"That's not entirely true," comments Wizzro, grabbing the attention of everyone. "We could kill Ganondorf. That will stop Ganondorf from acting violently. Whee hee hee!" Lana sighs, resting her forehead on her fist. There is no helping that wizard.

Ignoring her former minion entirely, Cia questions, "So why are you two here?" They reply together, "Can we have some pillows, too?" Cia is not amused. She shows this by criticizing, "You are not babies who need to be pacified. Act your age."

Ghirahim doesn't miss a beat. "Suppose we were infants, I can see your wizard has been baby-proofed." You mess with chemicals, you get a reaction. A peeved Wizzro summons a large piranha cyclops in hopes of mauling the demon lord to death. Cia threatens, "Don't give me a reason to pacify you." Message received. Wizzro shoves his monster back into the puddle it came from before holding his hands behind his back with a cheesy grin. Volga is constantly embarrassed by this wizard, and this moment is no exception.

Excited to change the world for the better, Lana outfits Ghirahim and Zant with fluffy pillows. The duo is ecstatic to be able to push each other around without fear of punishment. For clarification, the rule at Ganondorf's place is if you hurt the other minion, you get hurt equally. This rule was set in place so the demon lord and usurper king wouldn't turn on each other in battle. Thus far, this rule has done its job, and the only times the men physically fight each other is when they are affiliated with opposing forces, for example, when Ghirahim turns traitorous against Ganondorf in favor of Cia's forces.

Cia shakes her head and looks at Lana. "Lana, simply preventing injuries doesn't solve the violence problem." Lana only heard the first part of Cia's argument because Ghirahim stumbled into her after being pushed by Zant. Irritated, Cia orders Volga to patrol a line that Ganondorf's minions can't cross while she is trying to speak with Lana.

Moving to the side, Lana confirms, "I heard you, Cia," She presents her argument. "You just said earlier that we can't change their mindset, so we're doing the best we can by making violence… less violent, I guess. I gave these two pillows because they asked for them. They basically asked to be made harmless. That's a step in the right direction if you ask me!" Lana is excited, and Cia can visible see that.

"There is something wrong with you," bluntly states Wizzro. "Something terribly, terribly wrong with you."

…

"Lana, I appreciate what you were thinking, but from a sane point of view, this is messed up."

Lana stands before the princess, behind her almost the entirety of the warriors. Every warrior behind Lana has acquired pillows for hands and gelatin for feet. Fi has pillows on the end of her wings, since she lacks hands. Midna is wearing a hair net as well as pillows. Volga was here, but he excused himself due to gastrointestinal distress. That spell Lana placed on him solved one problem but created a worse problem. Zelda approves of less violence, but everyone looks ridiculous with pillows for hands. The only reason she asked for Ganondorf's hands to be encased in pillows was because she knew that he'd try to punch people.

The princess ignores Lana's sorrow in favor of a different query. "Lana," she asks. "Where is Cia?"

Meanwhile, at the Valley of Seers, Cia is being bombarded by pillowed fists of fury. Taking a pillow to the face, Cia collapses. The aggressor is none other than Ganondorf. After following his minions there, he learned from the shadows that his new pillow hands are courtesy of her.

Zelda, followed by Lana and the entirety of the warriors, enter the valley to witness Ganondorf's rage. Lana is quick to Cia's aid. Without an explanation, Ganondorf swings his fluffy fist at Zelda; a direct hit. Zelda has no words for what just happened, the air knocked out of her.

The twilight princess didn't appreciate that at all. She takes it upon herself kick Ganondorf in the face. This does little to nothing, however. Lana's pillows and feet gelatin were designed to soften blows.

Toon Link gasps, a broad smile on his face. He declares, "Pillow fight!" Like lemmings, the boys under age sixteen take to Midna and Ganondorf with their pillowed fists. Much to Zelda's dismay, Link joins them shortly after, sending Midna to the ground. In a display of power, Darunia launches Ganondorf across the room. Twenty minutes in, and the only two not participating in this epic pillow fight are Zelda herself and King Daphnes. Yes, even Fi and Impa found motives to join the fight.

Zelda finds a quiet spot to herself, and weeps. A presence is sensed nearby, so Zelda explains, "I just wanted peace for the children. I thought maybe I could convince everyone that fighting wasn't the answer, for the sake of all of us. The war is over, so why are we still fighting?"

"Because it's in our bones."

Zelda gasps. That was not the voice she expected. Opposed to King Daphnes' soft, fatherly voice, the voice is deep, booming, and strong; the voice of a dragon. The princess jumps to her feet so fast that she almost falls over. Amidst the chaos, Zelda forgot about Volga.

Apparently he found everyone after being left behind at Hyrule Castle. "Volga! I'm so sorry! We noticed Cia wasn't with us, so we came here. I forgot you were- I'm so sorry!" To calm the princess, Volga holds up a hand. He isn't upset, or, at least, not upset because he was left at the castle.

Besides the battle cries of their fellow warriors, the valley is quiet. Zelda looks into the void where the dragon knight's eyes are supposedly. Slowly, as not to startle her, Volga takes a breath to speak. He says, "Perhaps physical combat is not the only solution, but it's a path we've all chosen. Yes, a hazardous path, but-," the knight is interrupted by what he recognizes as Wizzro's appalling laugh.

"Shut up, Wizzro!" bellows Volga, shaking the ground with just his voice. This is followed by a small burp, which he covers. Puffs of fire slip between his fingers. "My apologizes, princess. Lana's spell was supposed to suppress the fire within me. It has only stirred."

Flaming burps lighten the mood for a split second, but they don't solve all the world's problems. Zelda is somber once more, her head dropping. Slowly, her chin rises during Volga's speech, as follows: "Conflicts come in many forms, all of them stemming from a problem. The way we choose to solve those problems define who we are. We are not debaters. We are not academics or scientists. We are warriors. Up there, the men, women, and children with pillows, are all warriors. That is how we choose to solve our problems, Zelda."

"But…" Zelda quietly and timidly makes a rebuttal. "That's not healthy." Volga releases a hardy laugh. Despite its extreme power, it is a genuine chuckle of someone who is amused. He follows by contradicting her statement, saying "Not healthy? Concealed rage is far more dangerous than anything we see on the battlefield. We fight each other so we don't have to fight ourselves!"

Zelda has to think about this. Which is more damaging, internal or external conflict? Her thoughts are once again interrupted as Volga places a hand on her shoulder. "If it means anything, I love what you've done with everyone's' hands. The pillows make a satisfying sound when smacked against someone," Volga adds, a playful side he didn't know he had emerging.

"Actually, the pillows were Lana's idea," admits Hyrule's princess. The mood is successfully lightened, and by a dragon of all creatures. Neither of them are the hugging type, so a nod of understanding acts as an appropriate conversation end. But they can't call it a day just yet; a pillow fight is afoot.

Upper cuts, wind-ups, and fists straight to the face occur in rapid succession at the peak of the valley. A pillow punch from Toon Link isn't nearly as affective as a pillow punch from Darunia, so the fight isn't exactly fair. The only universal thing in this fight is the fun that the warriors are having. Ruto feels amazing pushing Zant around with just the strength of her arms. Skull Kid and Medli have ganged up on Tingle. He would try to fly away if he had his balloon, but Zelda took that because that was considered a weapon. It doesn't occur to him that even if he had his balloon, flying wouldn't do much good since Medli can fly, too. To Darunia's surprise, he and Ganondorf are evenly matched in strength, their pillows creating somewhat of a shockwave when bashed together at fully power. Midna impresses herself with her reaction time, swiftly dodging every kick from Fi. Unfortunately, she backs up into Ghirahim.

The chaos is real and in action. Linkle and Lana notice Zelda and Volga's approach. Zelda is appalled. "K-King Daphnes!" In her absence the last sane warrior has fallen into the mosh pit and is contributing to the madness. Linkle and Lana cheerily greet Zelda, readying their pillows.

With a gasp, Zelda covers her head in an attempt to shield herself from Linkle and Lana's pillows. Volga, like a ninja, moves his arm between Zelda and her assaulters. As stoic as ever, he states, "That was uncivilized, Linkle. The princess is unarmed." Lana can feel her cheeks flush. Linkle knows Volga is right, but sheesh, they were just having fun.

An airborne pillow hits the side of Volga's head. Volga doesn't flinch. He looks at his aggressor, who at the moment just happens to be that nasty spirit he lives with. The twisted wizard scolds, "Lighten up, Volga! You always ruin the mood." Volga shrugs; if that's how his roommate wants to play, he'll oblige. The dragon knight swiftly and suddenly snatches up the pillow at his feet and hurls it at Wizzro. It is a direct hit, and the wizard collapses. Linkle and Lana think this is the funniest thing.

To sum it up, this pillow fight lasts so long that describing every detail is impossible. The warriors don't stop until the last of them collapses from exhaustion. When they awake, a true memory of bonding is created, in some of them, at least. Nobody was seriously injured from the extreme pillow fight. The Links, however, all become stimulated each time they see a pillow, so sleeping from this point on is a tedious task.

For a satisfying ending, Zelda does see an improvement in the psyche of the children. Sure, Zelda is a little concerned about Medli's new lust for destruction, but Impa wisely advises Zelda to worry about one thing at time. The princess keeps her promise, and the warriors receive their weapons back. Everyone except Ganondorf, that is. For the time being, he's got pillows!

Author's Notes- I was hesitant about posting this one because it puts a playful spin on a very real issue. Like Zelda said- "…but even some of my soldiers who were trained for war won't ever be the same again." Bloody war can destroy someone's psyche, and I respect any veteran who has stepped onto the battlefield. Warriors Uncut is all in good fun, so it's not meant to be taken seriously. Here in the after-notes is where I'm serious and where I give a shout out to real-world veterans.
(Back to WU notes) Bad news! My uploading schedule that was never official won't be regular! I hope to start uploading a new chapter for this every Saturday, but I can't make any promises. Sorry about that… On the bright side, the more time between uploads I have, the more inspiration I can accumulate. Suggest a scenario for specific warriors; chances are they have a story to tell about that. Interactions between warriors, ridiculous battle scenarios, conflicts off the battlefield, suggest anything! Yay!