8. Triforce of POW
Zelda once again finds herself trapped in the Twilight Realm.
Oh wait… which Zelda are you thinking of? I was referring to Zelda from the Era of the Great Sea. She prefers to be called Tetra. All Zeldas are technically Zelda, but they do differentiate from each other based on era. But anyways, we should move on.
So, yeah, Tetra has been lured and trapped in the King's Hall at the Palace of Twilight. The palace is being manipulated. But who would do such a thing? Surely Midna wouldn't keep a child hostage. Lucky you, it's not Midna. It's who you'd expect to be causing suffering in the Twilight.
…
No, it's not Wizzro. And he is very offended you'd even suggested him as a possibility. Great, you hurt his feelings. Nice job. Oh, but those of you who thought the perpetrator is Zant, you'd be correct.
The self-proclaimed King of Twilight has already inspected Tetra, as that is the standard protocol for intruders, Twili or not. The tattoo on the back of the pirate girl's hand caught Zant's eye. No… not a tattoo; a symbol of possession.
Then he recognizes it, awed. "Which piece do you bear?" he curiously inquires. But there is no reply. Tetra won't say, and that is probably for the best. Nevertheless, Zant wants it. Tarnishing his beautiful hand is not smiled upon, but if that mark is a piece of the Triforce, that is an honor to have crested on the back of either palm—or both, but that never happens.
The question is how to take said Triforce. It's not like it'll give up on Tetra and switch allegiance. It's not Wizzro, you know. (Wow, he's not even here, and he's made his mark on this story already.) Zant's extravagant demonstration of power didn't seem to impress Tetra's Triforce slice either. Tough crowd.
Zant didn't want it to have to come to this, but it looks like red is his new favorite color. His monsters bring a table, but it's a little tall for Tetra, so they bring a chair, too. She is commanded to get on her knees in the chair, and with no other options, she complies. Her heart begins a marathon when her hand is forcefully pressed onto the table surface by a Stalmaster. It is surprisingly strong. Stalchildren, though they are struggling, manage to keep the rest of Tetra immobile.
Whoo! It's been ages since Zant sharpened this single-bladed scimitar. He is fearful of touching the sharp edge by mistake. Turning to Tetra, he wonders if she'll feel more like a pirate when she is forced to use a hook for a hand.
The sexiest whistle in all of the Twilight Realm echoes in the grand throne room. Truly a stunning sight to see, the rightful ruler of the Twilight leans her true body against the doorframe. She gaze is sharper than Zant's scimitar. She calmly asks, "What do you think you're doing?"
The job is still not done, and a woman who has tricked herself into thinking she is really the Twilight's ruler won't thwart this task so far into it. It'll hurt less while Tetra is distracted by Midna, so Zant swings. And—
Midna's unscathed palm comes between Tetra's wrist and Zant's instrument of disembodying. It must be made of diamonds to not have taken a scratch from the blade! Or possibly a Sheikah secret that Midna must have learned recently. That is the likeliest explanation, because she also traveled the distance of the room in under three seconds. Great, now she's a ninja; first the magic hair, and now this. She'll surely be the death of Zant… again.
Lifting the scimitar, Midna gets a look at Tetra's hand. Then she laughs at Zant. "You're an idiot."
Zant defensively jerks his favorite blade free of Midna's grip. "We've already established that, thank you," he thoughtlessly states. Then he thinks about what he just confirmed. Insert Twili profanity here.
Midna isn't exactly known for having proper royal etiquette. She pushes Zant back from his chest forcefully like an angry child pushing a peer that didn't win fairly. "You'll never know what it feels like to have a piece of the Triforce. Especially not the Triforce of Wisdom," she claims confidently.
Oh! Ew, blah! Is that which piece Tetra has? It's no wonder she couldn't defend herself. Don't get him wrong; Zant would still take it since it's the one here, but Midna got in the way. She always does.
Tetra shows herself to the door, leaving the Twili folk to their own devices. Slowly, their gazes shift to the vacant throne, then to one another. MAD DASH!
Lana is determined to open a portal to Diamond City and meet Ashley. The only problem is that requires a ton of magical know-how that she just doesn't have alone.
Then there is Cia. For nefarious reasons, she'll help her better half open said portal. True, it'll be difficult, but it can't be any more difficult than dealing with… Nope. Not going there. Not mentioning him. But anyways, you get the picture.
Majora oversees every part of this magical learning process. The experienced, child-like, hexing mask can see every outcome of each spell performed by the amateur sorceresses. It internally laughs at their suffering and failures. Over time they are both slowly consumed by the desire to open gateways between Nintendo universes, a feat that is supposedly unreachable. Those few who travel universes without permission to from Master Hand meet with a terrible fate if they get caught, so only daredevil characters attempt it. And those that sneak by undetected only have a mask or two to show for it.
Like chemistry, magic is reactive, and pretty soon there is an accident.
This little accident was mostly unnoticed. It didn't elude one warrior, and like a moth to a flame, he is attracted. The red-caped peer follows close behind, curious. Before long, they have ascended the grand staircase.
Ghirahim is truly disturbed. "Oh my… what happened here?"
"A magic accident," infers Zant. That is the likeliest explanation, considering he could feel it up his spine from Gerudo Desert. "These are common back home."
Ghirahim snickers, "That explains a lot about you and Midna." Zant rolls his eyes.
As if calling to him, the Triforce of Power shows itself on Lana's fragile hand for Zant to see. Unconscious, she isn't aware of it making itself known. With more suave than Ghirahim has ever had, Zant ever so gently gets on one knee, takes Lana's limp hand in his, and whisks away the Triforce of Power, its symbol crested on the back of his hand now.
"Wha-?! Has taking Triforce pieces always been that easy?!" cries Ghirahim in disbelief.
"No," the Twili responds calmly, feigning indifference. Truth is he can't believe he plucked the Triforce of Power like a flower; it just kind of happened. The Usurper King, (a fitting title in this case), rests Lana's hand comfortably on her lap before standing to face Ghirahim. He finishes, "This opportunity is rare, so I took my chance. Any other day obtaining this would be impossible." And he means it.
Deep inside, the demon lord despises the idea of creating a pact with a lanky traitor, but standing beside the holder of the Triforce of Power is always a good move. With that said, the evil sword proposes they "form a tight bond". Zant was under the impression that they were already close because they shared so much in common, but whatever. Even with the Triforce of Power, the great Lord Ganondorf still manipulated puppets. Perhaps it would be wise if Zant did the same.
They shake on it as servants in service to one another. Then to Ghirahim's surprise, Zant demands, "Under the condition we keep knowledge of the Triforce between us. There are some things Lord Ganondorf doesn't need to know." Finally a personal opinion that the two can agree on! Ghirahim's grip tightens; a deal sealed.
Dawn of a new day.
HQ is under siege. At the front door, Ganondorf looks at his men over his shoulder. "Watch my back."
"Like a hawk," Zant assures. Their visitors came abruptly, so Ghirahim is just now putting on his cape.
Lord Ganondorf opens the front door to quite a shocker. Zelda's army stands at his doorstep with Link and Lana in the front, fire burning in their eyes. The princess feels her words won't be heeded if she's standing hidden in the back. Impa graciously offers to let the princess use her height, and Zelda agrees, climbing onto Impa's shoulders. She calls into a megaphone, "We will be forced to attack if you don't surrender the Triforce of POWer, Ganondorf!"
Ganondorf flinches, mostly because the first half of "power" was capitalized. Honest and truly scared, he slowly peeks at his minions over his shoulder. Like twins, they give innocent shrugs in unison. Ganondorf motions for Link to come close. He says, "I don't have the Triforce of Power. Pass it down." Link does as told, and one after the other, Ganondorf's verbal message is sent through the middle of Zelda's army.
Something goes horribly wrong down the way. Zelda replies with her megaphone, "I don't care if you dance in the shower. We just want the Triforce in safe hands!" Ghirahim materializes a megaphone for Ganondorf. Zant is still snickering at the 'dance in the shower' response.
The Gerudo King says into his donated megaphone, "I don't have it!"
"Then who does?! Because it isn't Lana, that's for sure," Hyrule's princess replies again.
"Men," Ganondorf addresses. "What's wrong with these people? Why do they think I have the Triforce of Power?"
Ghirahim chuckles before charismatically replying, "Why, isn't it obvious? You're Lord Ganondorf! And I truly mean it when I say you smell of my lord, Demise." That sounded like a compliment up until the smell part. Zant thought it was funny, though.
Not amused, the king asks, "Ok, which one of you has the Triforce?"
One of them has to say something. They exchange glances before Ghirahim steps forward and says, "Well, you see, there are rumors. Rumors that… um…"
"Midna has taken the Triforce of Power from Lana," Zant concludes the 'rumor'. Crisis averted by a team effort. Good job, men.
That sounds plausible, but then again, Zant accusing Midna is more likely. "A rumor about Midna, Zant. You expect me to believe a rumor about Midna didn't start with you?"
"Oh," Ghirahim cries to salvage the lie. "But I have heard the same rumor, all of it from a different source."
Zant crosses his arms, adding, "Sure, it's just a rumor, but it couldn't have traveled far, being the Valley of Seers the location of the crime."
Ganondorf sighs, his only lead being a rumor these two bozos supposedly heard. He faces Zelda again with his megaphone. "I'm not the man you're looking for."
"He's not the man we're looking for," Zelda repeats.
"Midna is your culprit."
"Mid- wait, what?" And just like that, Ganondorf's trance on Zelda is broken.
All three villains are shaken when Midna says through her own megaphone, "You know that's not true."
Zant takes the megaphone from Lord Ganondorf. In his crazed demeanor, he yells, "Where are you, you poor excuse for a princess!?"
Midna stands in front of many of the hero's allies that aren't in the front with the rest of Zelda's army. She says into her megaphone, "Ah, c'mon, is that the best insult you can come up with?" Ganondorf repeats Zant's question to Midna without the insult, and Midna consults with Darunia if telling them is a good idea. Darunia opts for 'why not' and Midna replies, "We have you surrounded, at least from the back."
Across the map at the Valley of Seers, Cia overhears the megaphone conversation. She says into her own megaphone, "And we're not involved!" Lifting his arms, Wizzro goes "whoo" in sarcastic excitement. Volga is getting the board game War set up.
Lana isn't happy about it, but it must be done, nonetheless. She warns, "Don't make us fight you for it, Ganondorf. That's not going to be good for anybody."
Ganondorf smirks. "A battle on home turf; this is new, men. What do you say to Lana's threat?" Ghirahim has been dying to say something inappropriate, so Zant covers his mouth before he gets too excited. Their lord takes it they are ready for full-on war. He leans in close to Lana and says in his inside voice, "This is just going to have to be unpleasant, then. Pass that on to your princess."
Once again, something goes awry during delivery. "I'm sorry, you said gurgle the peasant?" Zelda questions via megaphone. "He chose war, your highness," Impa clarifies. How she got war out of that, Zelda will never know.
"Anyone who comes in will have to earn the right of passage. Guard the back entrances, now!" the king commands. His subjects do as instructed without question. This leaves him to the front door, and he wipes the front porch clean.
Let the battle begin!
All of the hero's allies have gathered to rip the Triforce from Ganondorf's evil grasp. In the darkest regions of the great king's headquarters, a vent opens. The cunning Tetra crawls through. Once out, she helps Linkle through and into the room. As if on a slide at the playground, Skull Kid shoots out of the vent feet first, landing smoothly. Tetra is distracted when putting the vent cover back on. She calls into it, "King D, you're not gonna fit!"
Echoes whisper in the walls, as detected by Ghirahim. He stops, listens closely, and turns his attention to the vents. He should probably monitor that, but there is no time. Zant has gone to the main back entrance, which leaves Ghirahim to the side entrance.
Tetra takes point, leading the way. To keep him quiet, Linkle lets Skull Kid ride on her back. He whispers, "I forgot what we're doing." Linkle shakes her head, amused. In the darkness, the eyes on Majora act as a flashlight.
The others have a plan to get in. Medli, Marin, Tingle, Toon Link, Young Link, and King Daphnes are breaking in! CHARGE!
Shortly after that
Zant's entrance is secured shut. Using the Triforce, he has successfully created a force field in the doorframe. Darunia's not getting in. Ha!
That doesn't stop Midna. She teleports to the other side of his barrier. Like a flash, Zant whips around and takes hold of Midna's neck, slamming her against the wall in the process.
Medli got here just in time to witness this. She gasps as the Triforce mark on Zant's exposed hand catches her eye. Both Twili glance at the Rito girl. All she can think to do is run.
She calls for Lana, but she is prey to a pouncing tiger. Not an actual tiger; just Ghirahim. He takes her down to the ground in an epic pose, his leg out to the side like Spiderman. She is in too much shock to cry out about her wing; it might be broken.
There's a strange new draft in HQ. Ghirahim checks his body first to make sure he hasn't unknowingly stripped. It's happened before. Since his clothes are still intact, it must be somethi –GREAT HYLIA! The discovery of a King of Red Lions-shaped hole in the wall makes Ghirahim's hair stand on end. Steam from his nose, he bellows, "For the love of Demise, Medli! You guys really battering-rammed your way in here?!"
His hair stands on end again, this time from a laser to the rear. He summersaults forward off of Medli and directs his attention to the unlit back of the room. Majora's eyes shine through the ominous shadows. One-by-one Linkle, Tetra, and Skull Kid reveal themselves. Medli's adrenaline kicks up, and she attempts to dash for the front. Ghirahim grabs her ponytail with his free hand, his other hand armed with his sword. This effectively stops her. Tetra and Linkle aim their ranged weapons at the demon. Skull Kid threatens, "You should really start playing nice." Ghirahim smirks, prepared to "play" any way he chooses.
Meanwhile
A swift swing of his mighty hammer has no effect except for backfiring, causing him to vibrate like a cartoon character. Zant's new secret weapon has now protected him from even Darunia's mighty blows. This is against her programming, but Fi attempts a sneak attack from behind. This is also futile as Zant majestically blocks Fi's kick with his own leg.
That is when Fi assesses, "This is indeed the real Zant, but he has become significantly stronger from last I battled him." "And I defeated you last time, anyways, pathetic sword spirit," hisses Fi's opponent. Fi regroups with a shaken Darunia, a terrified Agitha, and a contemplating Midna.
The only one who has yet to throw swings at Zant is Princess Ruto. Uncharacteristically, Zant gets a little cocky. (That's what happens to you when you've experimented with the Triforce of Power for too long.) Retracting his helmet completely, he taunts, "Come on, girlfriend! I dare you to drown me."
The Zora princess strides towards her heckler with purpose and clenched fists. Fi foresees two outcomes, but she won't say what they are. Darunia watches in suspense, Agitha just as concerned for Ruto hides behind him. Midna is confused as to why Ruto places herself closer to Zant than his arm distance. She doesn't need to be that close unless she's preparing a melee attack.
Ruto punishes the Usurper King with a slap to the face. She chastises, "Gentlemen don't mock their opponents!" Believe it or not, but that was one of Fi's predictions. She also predicted that Zant wouldn't know how to react, and he doesn't, so he just puts his helmet back on.
Now it's Midna's turn. Unlike her Zora comrade, she'll teach any guy what for! With the Mirror of Shadows at her disposal, the Twilight Princess expresses wrath against this bendy conspirator. He is able to dodge a fair portion of her attacks, but not quite enough.
It dawns on the self-proclaimed Twilight King that he has yet to show his opponents the extent of his newfound abilities. A wicked grin spreads across his face under his helmet, and he announces, "I'd say it's time to take you down a few notches!" Then and there, Midna is engulfed in magic not meant to be used for evil like something dowsed in gasoline going up in flames.
Not a hair is singed, but every part of her is broken again. The imp that the warriors grew to love hits the ground. Agitha gasps in horror before dashing to Midna's aid. She cries into Midna's unconscious face "Midna! Please wake up! Ms. Kitty!" Darunia, Ruto, and Fi are on guard more than they ever have been.
Yes! This power is unreal! He can only imagine what he could accomplish if he possessed all three pieces of the Triforce. Why, he could make the shadows swallow Hyrule whole with the completed Triforce! The world, no, the gods will bow to him! Ha ha ha! Ganondorf isn't so crazy after all!
Looming over Agitha, Zant wonders what he should do to her. Her misery won't be as satisfying as the misery of those who have wronged him, but it's something. Darunia threatens to squish him if he places a hand on the girl, but that's laughable. Then Fi gives her best effort to express hatred through words, but she just ends up sounding like she's questioning herself and her feelings. Most hilariously, Ruto's distorted face gives her the appearance of a living time bomb with constipation.
With impeccable timing, Lana enters the scene, followed closely behind by Medli and Skull Kid, both of whom found her in the commotion of the front to inform her of her Triforce piece. "Zant!" she calls demandingly. She goes pale when he slowly turns to face her dead on. If what Medli saw was real, then Zant now possess the power she keeps contained, and he's not going to contain it by any means.
The Twili man chuckles to himself. "Are you really foolish enough to believe that yourself and two kids can stand against me?" he denounces, wiping them free of any confidence they had.
"Bwuh- what did you just call me?!" shouts a furious Skull Kid. Slowly ascending to Lana's height, a menacing aura surrounds his enchanted mask, shrouding him in darkness.
Jerking awake like someone would after being electrocuted in sleep, Midna sits up. New insight from her experience leads her to cry out, "He's got the Triforce of Power!" Agitha peed a little, startled from Midna's sudden outburst.
The white sorceress grinds her teeth then declares, "If you're not going to give it back, I'm going to have to take it back!" Her warning is stomped upon. In fact, he challenges her to take it back by showing her the Triforce's symbol on the back of his right palm and hiding it under his sleeve again.
Meanwhile
Ghirahim is caught in a quarrel with Linkle and Tetra simultaneously. There was nothing he could do when he lost hold of Medli and she was safely escorted out of HQ by Skull Kid and his devil mask. However, by this point, blocking Tetra's knife while dodging Linkle's arrows is laughably simple.
"Ha! It has just dawned on me that we could pass for a trio of circus performers!" announces Ghirahim. Both of his opponents are thrown off balance.
Tetra swings her arms furiously to stay standing. But then she sees someone and knows she can relax. She lets herself fall onto her backside. Shortly after, a swift "thunk" is heard from the back Ghirahim's head. His body goes limp, and his eyes roll back. King Daphnes coldly took him out with his sail.
Linkle cringes, saying "Ooo, that's gonna leave a mark." King D nods in agreement.
"Where's everyone else?" Tetra asks. She is jealous when they find Tingle looting in Ganondorf's room.
Linkle stayed behind to accompany the resting demon lord. She happens to hear the screams of his comrade, who is getting pummeled out the back door.
Eight warriors with Majora's Mask prove to be a challenge for one warrior with the Triforce of Power. Zant fights with everything he's got until he can no longer breathe. Unfortunately for him, he runs completely out of stamina at the wrong time, and finds himself picked up and nailed into the ground by Midna's hair. He would push himself out, but with Darunia keeping him down, it's no use. He can only see the world upside down through his legs, and even then his vision is obstructed by his own robes.
The hopelessness of defeat overwhelms him as Lana calls the Triforce of Power and it obeys, returning to her.
"Yeah!" rejoices Skull Kid. He holds his hand to Medli for a high-five, and she obliges. However, she uses her injured arm, and ends up recoiling in pain. Agitha asks if she is alright. Well, no, she is obviously not alright. The bug princess decides to escort the Sage of Earth to the nearest medic. That leaves seven total warriors.
Everyone seems to have calmed down a little. Ruto turns to Lana and asks, "Can I see that spell book?" Lana is dazed because of the strange request, but she eventually lets Ruto handle her spell book. Ruto steps behind Zant.
The Zora holds the book out a vertical. Like a golfer preparing their swing, Ruto prepares hers. She maps out her swing three times to assure she'll hit what she wants to hit. Midna quickly understands. She is already laughing. Then, Ruto winds up. Zant thinks he knows what's about to happen to him, and he instantly fears it.
"Ruto!" Darunia is shocked, reaching his hand between Ruto and her tender target. The back of Darunia's hand is smacked with Lana's spell book; a satisfying whack sound is the result.
That did not feel good at all! Darunia pulls his hand away. He attempts to shake the pain away to no avail.
"Thanks," Zant says from a dude to a dude. Ruto grumbles, "Darunia, you always get in my way!"
"Was that really necessary?" the Goron asks. He attempts to stick his entire hand in his mouth like a child, but this unfortunately doesn't work. He just ends up slobbering all over himself.
Midna responds, "That was completely necessary. In fact, someone go get Volga for me. Let's set his trousers ablaze!"
"No! No thank you! I get it."
Skull Kid laughs. He says, "It's one or the other." Fi adds, "Perhaps his punishment should be equal to your curse, Midna." "In the amount of pain? Of course," Midna agrees. Zant puts his hands over his face in despair. What did he do to deserve this?
"You know what?" Midna says. "Gimme that book!" She takes Lana's spell book from Ruto and starts to search through the pages.
Much to the surprise of both of them, Darunia lifts them both by their waists. He slings them over his shoulder kicking a screaming. Darunia looks at Zant and says, "These two just need to calm down. I'll just take them away now." Midna screams in his ear.
"Wow," Zant is amazed and utterly grateful. "You really are a big brother."
"You're not a brother."
"Oh…ok."
And with that, Darunia takes his leave. Fi and Skull Kid follow his example. Ruto and Midna are still screaming with an uncontrollable desire to wreak pain on the enemy.
Lana takes a risk. She stays with the humiliated Zant. By bending down, she is able to meet eyes with him and look right-side up to him, with the exception of her hair touching the ground above her. "You know, I suppose it's possible you helped play a part in the safety of the world," she reveals.
Zant is confused.
"If Cia and I had woken up and you hadn't had taken the Triforce of Power, we might have just started right back where we left off, which was a dangerous road to begin with. Fate might have orchestrated you to intervene before something terrible happened," she explains. "You can think of it like that."
The Twili guffaws and says, "You make it sound like I care about the well-being of Hyrule."
Lana smiles. "Don't you?"
"… No."
And the sorceress giggles. She says "you hesitated" before giggling again. Before he has a mind to punch her, she stands up straight. Then she gasps and exclaims, "Oh no! I could have told everyone to stop fighting a long time ago!" She dashes away.
Not long after this, Ghirahim clumsily staggers out the back door. Zant doesn't notice him until he chooses to rest by placing his hands on the nearest surface, which happened to be Zant's rear end still suspended in the air. When the demon lord snaps to his senses, he lends Zant a hand.
Ghirahim isn't surprised about Zant's bad news. Why else would Zelda's army have left if they didn't get the Triforce of Power back?
Inside of HQ, Ganondorf scrutinizes the damage done. He sighs long and hard about the boat-shaped hole in the wall. He is met by his former puppets. He looks at them, but not with rage in his eyes, rather just a slight discontentment.
The Gerudo King says, "I never figured out who had the Triforce. If it was Lana the entire time, our time and energy has been wasted, not to mention what has happened to HQ. However, if it wasn't her and it wasn't me, who had it? Why choose to give it back then?"
And the demon lord smiles slyly. "My lord, believe it or not," he says, "But the rumors were true after all." He is referring to the one he and Zant conjured on the fly before the great skirmish began.
Ganondorf looks at his men. Zant also looks at Ghirahim. Ganondorf inquires, "Really?"
Ghirahim nods, swooshing his hair.
"Then as soon as we fix this place, we will make her pay," the great Ganondorf announces proudly. His Twili smiles and says, "I'm down for that."
Author's Notes- This story has been one of my favorites to write thus far. I'll attempt to back off of Zant for a little while; he seems to be stealing the show recently. We're slowly accumulating great Would You Rather questions, so please keep 'em coming.