13. The Mask
When Cia is desperate to prevent something from happening, you can infer one of two things: 1. What's going to happen will harm her in some way, or 2. Nothing good can come from what is about to happen, for her or for the world as we know it.
"The bet is off! You don't have to serve Majora, or anyone else for that matter, anymore!" she cries out, hoping her voice will reach into the fairy fountain through the closed doors.
There is no response. Fi assures, "There is a 100% chance he heard that."
…
"I'm also 100% sure that he doesn't care," Fi also concludes. This is much to Zelda's dismay. The group can hear a tree falling in the near distance. Agitha perks up. Everyone turns around.
The new battering ram appears on the ground. Its escort men, Zant and Ghirahim, follow it here via teleportation. They need Darunia's muscle to lift it. Tingle hops onto the wide trunk; he'll be the leader. "Everyone out of the way!" he screams. There isn't a single warrior who doesn't move. Tingle sounds the battle cry. The battering ram is carried swiftly to the fairy fountain doors.
This does virtually nothing. They smack the doors, and the two in front collapse, squashed by the weight of the large trunk. It took a collaborative effort to teleport it here, so getting squashed by it isn't that much of a surprise. Darunia is still holding up the rear of it with relative ease. Tingle falls off, of course.
Volga towers over Ghirahim. "That was beyond idiotic."
"It sounded like a good idea at the time," Ghirahim admits, flushed with embarrassment. Lana agrees by nodding and then saying, "Usually my ideas are solid, but this one was just a bust."
Darunia lifts the battering ram out of the way. Volga is going to open this door like a true dragon. He dons his beastly form and slams his side into the door. On the inside, Majora is pushed back a little, but doesn't lose his hold.
"What happens when they realize that one of them can just teleport inside?" Wizzro questions the mask. Teleport… That's it! Majora has an idea.
Volga has broken down a door before, so he'll do it again! His monstrous, scaled fist does the job. The doors fly open too easily. Everyone peaks around Volga into the fountain, finding it empty.
Voices from behind grab their attention; "Somewhere farther away would have been preferred, Wizzro," chastises Majora. He tries to stay calm. He's trying so hard right now to stay cool.
Midna uses her hair as a fist to send Majora sailing into a keep several yards away, suggesting a game of keep away. Wizzro doesn't waste time, disappearing into the ground and returning to the surface nearby Majora. The remaining warriors follow by foot.
Impa skids to a stop at the entrance to the keep. She holds out an arm to stop her fellow warriors, Zelda primarily. Most of them gasp at the sight. The temper-prone warriors simply scowl. Link actually sees a sliver of hope now. Oppositely, Wizzro waits in suspense. What happens next decides his fate.
Ganondorf has his favorite coffee mug in one hand and Majora in the other. King Daphnes pushes his way to the front. He faces Ganondorf yet again. "Ganondorf," he asserts.
His sentence is never finished. Ganondorf shrugs and tosses the mask over his shoulders. Wizzro's instinct is to catch it. Once caught, Wizzro has to pause as his brain catches up to what just happened. He should probably flee before Ganondorf comes to his senses. So he flees, taking Majora with him. Majora could have left a long time ago, but it was more entertaining to let fate play out.
"No!" Linkle cries. Marin, terrified, moves close to Young Link. "You've got to be kidding me!" Ruto roars. Ganondorf begins to take a drink.
King Daphnes has never felt this much fury over someone else's carelessness. "Do you not realize that those two combined have the potential to overpower all of us, including you?!"
Ganondorf does a spit-take, nearly choking. He gets it together before calling his course of action; "Men! Don't let Wizzro get away!"
"Right!" both of Ganondorf's men respond. They are gone in a moment's notice.
Now it's Impa's turn. She calls, "Everyone, split up! We should cover every corner of the valley!" Lana and Linkle begin to run the same way, so Linkle turns around to head the opposite way. Link and Zelda also take opposite directions. Volga takes to the sky for an overhead advantage. Those who remain just choose a direction and begin to run. Toon Link doesn't move; he stubbed his toe earlier and doesn't feel running anymore.
Here is when all warriors are present at the Valley of Seers. With their hearts pounding harder than they ever have before, Tetra and Skull Kid dash into the battlefield boundaries. Tetra slows her pace, her mission accomplished. Skull Kid, however, keeps his speed, hoping to reach the heat of the problem before it is too late.
Linkle catches him, slowing him to a stop. "Get to the keep at the very top of the stairs!" she instructs. Skull Kid nods, and without allowing himself a moment to rest he follows Linkle's instruction.
This is where Majora is ready to rumble. Wizzro is safely summoning hordes of monsters behind him. By the way, Majora has Zant and Ghirahim frozen in time. Just for kicks, Majora positions them like mannequins in three ridiculous poses he has always wanted to try out for himself but never has because of the fear of looking stupid.
Midna looks into the sky. She witnesses Majora dispose of the Twili traitor. He's flying! No, he's falling from space. Even better! Unfortunately, Midna's view is impeded by a nasty Big Blin. Meanwhile, Ghirahim was also flung towards the edge of the atmosphere. His landing is softer than his companion's; Cia gets between him and the ground.
Like a flood, monsters spill from the highest peak, practically tumbling over each other. Skull Kid hurries up the crowded staircase. He is ignored. Not a single monster identifies him a threat; therefore Skull Kid is not attacked. He—along with all children who have perished in the forest—has been forgotten.
Wizzro knows that the reward for keeping Majora safe far surpasses his personal safety. He gives no caution to his magic expulsion. He refuses to quit, but is forced to when he exerts himself to the point of fainting. Majora isn't amused… although he doubts he'll need help from here. Wizzro has done his job exceptionally, not to mention willingly, which is something Majora doesn't get from puppets often.
The wave of monsters has ceased, and Skull Kid has reached the bottom of the last stretch of stairs. "Majora!" he calls with the last strength he can muster.
Majora looks at the child in the eyes. It has been a while since they have stood face-to-face as two entities. Majora doesn't like the determination in Skull Kid's heart. He wishes Skull Kid would fall down and stay down.
Skull Kid begins to ascend the staircase at a normal pace. He breathes methodically so his heartrate returns to a healthy speed. Majora wasn't expecting this of his former puppet. "Wha- what do you want?!" Skull Kid doesn't give Majora a response.
Majora tries a more condescending question; "Have you been hiding all this time and somehow managed not to get crushed by your fellow warriors?!"
There is still no response.
Majora is frightened now. Is there another power controlling Skull Kid? Has Zelda and the warriors discovered a way to get to him? Have they stooped so low as to controlling or impersonating this child whom they know has a direct connection to him?
Skull Kid reaches the top of the stairs. The mask and the child stare into each other's souls from several feet away. However, Skull Kid's face is soft.
"Majora," whispers Skull Kid. Majora would scream if producing sound didn't use so much energy and magic. "I don't mind being your puppet."
Both souls are trembling, Skull Kid with the fear of rejection, Majora with unidentified emotions. "I-I know that," Majora stutters. No, really, this was never about Skull Kid rejecting him. So… why does he begin with this?
Skull Kid swallows. He knows Majora's language. He decides to speak Majora's language, carefully constructing what to say. "If this is game, and you're the good guy," Skull Kid utters quietly. "I want to be on your side. But you have to let me. We have to be a team."
This is why Majora missed Skull Kid. This kid understands him like nobody else does.
"Are you ready to have me on your team again?"
If you've heard our stories before, you can probably guess what happens next. Skull Kid won't be waking up anytime soon from his nap, so I took the liberty to do my own thing, tease you with the ending of this story.
… Oh. You wanted to see more than just the 'happy' ending? But why? Frankly everything that happens before this point is just pointless garbage.
FFFine… I was going to tell you everything else anyways. I just wanted to see if I could trick you into going away, mostly because I need to stop talking. Talking without a host body uses up magic, and that lunatic salesman can sense magic.
Whatever. Here's the beginning of this ending.
Having been without a host for several days, Majora grows weary. He hasn't been the same since the Hero of Time saved Termina.
It is here that Majora overhears a conversation.
"She'll forget if she just doesn't see me for a while, right?"
"No. Cia doesn't forget."
"…"
"I owe her thirty rupees from three years ago. She reminds me every day."
"I don't care if we have to kill her. I am not serving Midna."
"Kill Cia or Midna?"
"Even better! Let's kill them both! Now how do you decapitate an imp?"
Majora begins to follow them from behind, but they stop walking. Lana tells Wizzro, "I'm sorry, but I can't help you. I'm not helping anyone kill Cia or Midna. I could try to negotiate with Cia."
Wizzro crosses his arms. He just can't win. Then Majora taps his shoulder. It is still a little sore from an incident with another warrior.
Lana is surprised to see Majora like this again. "Hi Majora. Are you looking for Skull Kid?"
Majora snaps, "Why would I be looking for Skull Kid?"
Wizzro didn't know this thing had a mind of its own. He just thought Skull Kid heard voices in his head; something they have in common. Or… is this one of those times that he is hearing voices. "Lana," he mutters. "This mask is possessed."
Lana narrows her eyes and asks, "You didn't know that?"
Majora looks at Wizzro and asks, "You thought I was just a fashion statement?"
"No, I-," And then everything becomes clear to him. "Oh! You're an entity in a mask! That answers a lot of questions about the limits of your power, as well as your title. Majora's Mask. Majora is the spirit in the mask. Got it." Wizzro gets it now. He knew the mask was powerful, but he was never sure why.
Majora is even more offended. "Correction; that answers questions about my unlimited power." As the Guardian of Time, Lana is privileged to have watched everything with Termina. She thinks that Majora shouldn't boast about its power in front of this particular wizard, so she questions sternly, "Is there something you need, Majora?"
The mask giggles quietly, recognizing a struck nerve when he sees one. He replies, "No. I just couldn't help but overhear your conversation. When are you planning to behead the princess?"
"We're not!"
Wizzro smirks. "As soon as possible."
"Hmm… there seems to be some miscommunication amongst you two," Majora deduces. "Yeah, that's pretty common," Wizzro comments with a chuckle. Lana has already run out of patience with these two. She begins to walk away.
Majora likes these floating purple robes. They've never had a one-to-one conversation before, so why not now? Majora asks, "So about that battle a few days ago. I was sure you had that, but it all fell apart for you at the end."
Wizzro has to swallow his shame. He admits, "Linkle pulled through, lucky thing. To quote Cia, I fell like Termina's moon." He shrugs before continuing, "Now that I think about it, her simile didn't really make sense. Fell behind the horizon, maybe, but Cia isn't the type of person to think of something so normal."
Majora shakes like someone with a body would shake their head to say 'no'. He follows by saying, "Cia's simile was accurate. Both of the Guardians of Time know my story, yet you're still clueless. I could tell that you weren't exactly a genius before, but now I'm starting to wonder if you have a mental disorder."
"… Dude, we accessories are supposed to stick together," Wizzro states. Usually getting insulted just makes him angry, but this time his self-esteem was damaged. Just a little bit.
Truth be told, Wizzro has been slow lately. He registers the rest of what Majora just said. "What?! You were able to send a moon hurling towards the planet!?"
Majora is pleased, and the tone of his voice displays that. He confirms, "Now you're getting it. Does this make sense now? Do you realize who you're talking to?"
"I knew there had to be something special behind Skull Kid. It wasn't the fairies or the ocarina; it's always been you. Hiya heh heh!"
That laugh can be heard from a mile away. Lana stops.
This might be what Majora has been looking for, but how is he going to test it? With Skull Kid it was always Majora doing the bulk of the work. The entire point of this break up was because Majora wanted someone who could stand up for themselves without him. Wizzro may have lost his last battle, but if he can be easily controlled…
"This might sound crazy, but what would you say if I said that I wanted you to fight every warrior here? I say it like that because, well, someone caused a little trouble with Yuga and Ravio's train." Majora can't help but giggle thinking about that.
Hmm… Wizzro needs to think about that. It would be satisfying to spill everyone's guts, but he can't do that alone.
"With a little help from me, of course."
Wizzro nods once. "I'd have to say 'why not?'"
Majora is excited. This should be fun. He says, "Yay! Where do we start?" "With Cia, of course!" Wizzro announces. He teleports himself and the mask to the Valley of Seers.
Lana's bottom jaw drops.
…
Impa has been ordered to stand by, only to interfere when interference is requested. She reluctantly obeys. Not long ago, a nasty shadow snuck into the castle via riding behind Zelda. This was for no other reason than to finish a quarrel the two had on the battlefield. She may have overlooked it for "pettiness", but not him.
Zant has lowered his helmet to allow him to stare menacingly into Zelda's soul. He now wishes he had kept it up, as she may have stolen his soul with her first word. "And when Ganondorf hears about this?" Zelda threatens. Zant has to muster all of his meager self-control not to strangle the princess where she stands. He decides to stomp furiously up the staircase. Impa would follow him, but Zelda trusts that he'll be back in record time, so there is no need.
"Zelda!" Lana calls from outside. Both Zelda and Impa turn around in time to watch Lana burst through the front doors. Link follows her at his own pace.
"Hello, Lana," Impa politely greets.
"Hi Impa!" Lana cries in the same tone she used to call Zelda's name; a very pitchy and desperate tone. Zelda and her top general exchange glances.
The princess gently tells Lana to calm down, but only the sight of Link at her side successfully restores her to a state of mind where using an inside voice is the norm. She tells them, "It's Majora." This is when the stomping ceases, followed by quick footsteps descending the stairs. Zant joins the conversation before Lana speaks again.
"Wizzro and I bumped into Majora, who-,"
Zelda holds up a palm and interrupts, "Wait, why were you with Wizzro?"
"Er, you know, sometimes he just likes to talk about his feelings! Anyways,"
Link is confused. "Wizzro talks about his feelings? Are you sure you were talking to Wizzro?" he questions.
"STOP INTERUPTING ME! I'm trying to tell you that the two have decided to team up! The last I heard was something about Cia, and then they vanished!" Lana yells. The entire castle could hear every word she said.
For as bad of news that was, Zant is taking it surprisingly well. "Princess," he beckons. "We've seen on the battlefield what destruction that mask does with a powerless host. I cannot begin to imagine what would happen if it could use Wizzro's power freely along with its own."
"I agree. We should act immediately," Zelda proclaims. Impa asks if she should ready the soldiers. Zelda replies, "No. The combined strength of our closest allies should be enough."
Zelda turns to Zant. "Are you coming with us?"
"I don't have a choice; my fate is dependent on the outcome of what comes next," replies the Twilight King. Zelda nods once.
Lana has found her composure, or at least enough composure to ask in an appropriate volume, "Do you know what Majora is capable of?"
He looks Lana in the eyes and responds, "All Twili know the mask's tale." Link's eyebrows rise. He is fascinated.
"There is no time to lose!" Zelda announces, following with instructions for her top general, the hero, and the Guardian of Time. They are split across the land to gather their allies. He may have been left out of Zelda's instructions, but Zant, too, gathers his allies. (He gathers an ally.)
At the coast, King Daphnes greets Hyrule's princess. He is accompanied by the hero of his time, the Sage of Earth, and Marin. Tetra rushes to a ledge above. She saw Zelda hurry into the area, but had to settle something before she could follow. She arrives just in time to hear Zelda mention Majora.
That group begins to head for the Valley of Seers. They never notice the pirate captain. The princess inside of her refuses to stay behind and do nothing. Before adding her strength to the cause, she needs to see someone.
…
Cia has successfully defended herself from a good portion of Wizzro's assaults. She is still standing, though slightly weakened. They currently stand at a stalemate.
Majora nods in approval. "Wow," he says unenthusiastically. "You've actually kept your ground against the sorceress. Not bad." Wizzro is learning that this thing is hard to impress. Majora says, "My turn." With that, Majora doesn't hold back, sending several magic-charged tentacles in Cia's direction. Instead of popping into confetti like someone stabbed by Midna's hair might, Cia receives surges of magic from the tentacles. This is an experience similar to being electrocuted. She howls before falling to her knees.
"Cia!" Lana exclaims. She rushes to her other half's side. Cia insists she is ok as Lana helps her to her feet. The light half of the Guardian of Time rushed ahead of Darunia and Ruto, but they should be there shortly.
Lana scowls at the wizard. Majora retracts his tentacles; Lana's glare is admittedly intimidating. "Everyone is coming!" she tells the enemies. "We won't let Hyrule be harmed by you, Majora!"
"It's not me! I'm being held against my will!" Majora fibs. Wizzro is amused… until he realizes that the blame is shifted to him.
Cia utters with her remaining strength, "It's just like you to hide behind a mask, Wizzro."
"Do I look like I'm hiding, Cia?!" shouts a wizard full of rage.
Majora looks at Wizzro. "That gives me an idea! Do you wanna go hide in the fairy fountain?"
"Why? Weren't you the one who wanted to fight all of the warriors?"
Majora would shrug if he had shoulders. He responds, "I don't know. It'll be kind of like hide-and-seek, only they'll know where we are but won't be able to get in to catch us."
Wizzro now understands why Majora fits on Skull Kid.
The sneaky, darkness-based villains rush for the fairy fountain. As Lana begins to chase them, Cia falls to her knees again, so Lana stops. Majora is seen approaching the fairy fountain. "Go faster!" Ruto shouts, tugging on Darunia's hair. The ride is bumpy at his current speed, but they need to beat Wizzro to the fairy fountain. "I could roll if you didn't demand that I carry you!" Darunia shouts back.
Ruto doesn't get off Darunia, allowing Wizzro to reach the fairy fountain and Majora to seal the door shut just before Darunia bashes himself and Ruto straight into it. They tumble backwards. Majora laughs like a maniacal, spider-like, little girl who keeps all of her secrets in her diary.
Lana and Cia are the last to join the warriors at the doors of the fairy fountain. Midna has already attempted to teleport in, but Wizzro is a skilled magician; he placed a magic barrier around the keep to prevent access except through the door. Majora was legitimately impressed by this.
Meanwhile, Tetra navigates Faron Woods—her guide is the sound of a familiar laugh echoing through the trees. She approaches the Great Deku Tree, but this is as far as her guide will take her. She knows she has been detected, so it is just a matter of time before he shows himself.
Tetra isn't incredibly patient. She is just about to go searching when who she was looking for cartwheels like an experienced gymnast to her, sticking the landing directly in front of her. He is in a good mood today; the sun is bright, the breeze is quiet but cool, and it is overall just impossible to be upset today.
"Majora needs to be stopped," Tetra informs, the brevity perfect for the seriousness of the situation.
Skull Kid stops smiling.
Yeah, so from here everything at the Valley of Seers happens and The End. …Just in case you were wondering, here's what happened before everything that you already know.
Decapitated, but not uncomfortable, Majora wanders into Hyrule Fields. Spirits don't need brains to think analytically. It would be in his best interest to acquire a host, not because that's what he told Skull Kid he would do, but because the sooner he does, the sooner he can relax. To have an independent host would be a vacation in itself for poor Majora.
The mask doesn't notice that he is about to be bowled over until the spontaneous whinnies of Epona are heard. Majora looks up from the ground straight into Epona's neck. Young Link maneuvers the horse slightly to the right.
"That's right, I can't expect someone to navigate for me while I zone out anymore," Majora thinks aloud. He begins to float around the Hero of Time. "Thanks for not bashing into me. I'll remember that."
After the company has passed, Young Link readies Epona to begin running again. He is stopped again by the same being, only this time from behind. Majora says, "Hey, it just occurred to me! A kid with the power to go back in time can surely handle himself. I mean, I still hate you for wrecking my hard work and crushing my ambition to wipe out Termina, but that game is over. I'll look past that."
…
"Ha! Get it? I'll look past it."
…
"No? Ah, well, Darunia would appreciate my wit. Let's go see Darunia."
Young Link isn't exactly comfortable with the malicious mask currently, nor will he ever be. He threatens to attack by pulling his sword out from behind him.
Majora gets the message. "Never mind, then!" he calls while hustling away. Perhaps an incarnation of the hero wouldn't be an ideal host anyways. Saving the world isn't exactly Majora's passion, nor does he desire to struggle with a soul whose purpose is to save the world. That eliminates the current Link and Toon Link from his list of possible hosts, as well. But there are other fish in the sea.
…
Darunia is dreadfully confused. "You're supposed to do what?"
The wizard wonders if this hard head heard anything he just said. To sum it up, he states bluntly, "I was told to follow you around today."
"And obey me?"
Wizzro holds out his arms with an ugly frown. Oh, so this guy heard that part of the spiel! Darunia simply smiles. He would pat Wizzro on the back, but the last time he did that to a fellow warrior they fell forward and began to tumble down the mountain. He may have hit them a little too hard.
Darunia nods. Upon noticing the ring sorcerer examine his nails, Darunia remembers something. He says, "Actually, maybe you could help with something right away. If you can't, that's ok."
"I can't."
"You at least have to see the problem before forgetting about it!" Darunia laughs. He begins the trek to the site of the issue, beckoning for Wizzro to follow. The Goron is, indeed, followed by a very unenthusiastic blob of robes.
There is a rock overhang to the west of the main battlefield here at Death Mountain. A patch of interestingly textured stone has been revealed by erosion. The unsuccessful team of Gorons makes a path for their chief. "Do you see that circle of rock up there that is different from the rest of the cliff?" asks Darunia. Wizzro nods. Darunia explains, "We'd love to snack on that, but unfortunately we're having a bit of trouble reaching it."
Wizzro crosses his arms and questions, "How do you expect me to reach it? Your arms are longer than mine." Petite the Goron examines both warriors' arms before concluding that Wizzro is correct.
"You've got that giant hand, right?" states Darunia. "Or your magic might knock some of it down." Wizzro sighs; this Goron has too much faith in him. He warns everyone to stand back.
Despite having poor depth perception, Wizzro positions himself in a relatively good spot to reach up from. Summoning his large hand, Wizzro reaches for the patch of tasty stone above. He has no trouble reaching it; however, grabbing it might be an issue. The Gorons watch in suspense. Like a file, the rock shaves Wizzro's nails.
A solid minute goes by before Wizzro is infuriatingly determined to get that mineral. Without forethought, Wizzro spots a crevice in the cliff just slightly below and sends his limb into it. Clenching the fist and applying pressure acts similarly to an explosion, only the stone is shattered, not obliterated. The entire hanging ledge is dislodged from the mountainside. Wizzro's limb retracts faster than usual, possibly due to his reaction to the imminent danger. As calm as ever, Darunia instinctively reaches in and pulls Wizzro out from under the falling mountain chunk. The other Gorons in the area are trained for this situation; they roll up like pill bugs, their hard backs protecting their vital organs.
The dust cloud aroused by the debris keeps the result hidden for a few short moments. As soon as they are safe, the Gorons unravel. The collision with the ground shattered the heavy chunk of edible mineral into bite-size pieces, conveniently. The Gorons feel welcome to dig in without anyone's approval.
The warriors don't move, their heartrates slowly returning to normal. Darunia moved his hand in front of Wizzro in a protective manner, which Wizzro holds onto now. Darunia is released from his trance when his mouth starts salivating. He steps beside Wizzro with a hardy chuckle and announces, "You did it! You broke part of the mountain in the process, but that's no big deal."
"You can reward me later," avers Wizzro proudly and suavely. He points to Darunia with a single index finger, his elbow casually bent. The remainder of the day was uneventful. Wizzro took a well-deserved nap while Darunia ate.
…
Two Twili are panicking. "Wait, the myth is true?!" "This thing has a life of its own! It's possessed!" "I don't what to believe anymore!" "Shoo! Stupid mask, shoo!"
Majora is thoroughly enjoying this. Wondering what hysterical reactions he can get out of them, he flies towards Midna's face. She swats him away with her bare hands. Zant hops back a pace like a scared bunny, dodging Majora. The mask pulls a fast one on Zant, hopping into his hands. He instinctively catches the mask, instantly regretting it and scrambling to get rid of it.
Midna begins to run until Zant calls her name. She turns to face him—an auto-pilot reaction that ends with the mask being tossed to her. Majora didn't have to assist Zant's toss, so he goes limp. Zant pivots and flees.
"Hey, you forgot this!" Midna calls, tossing the mask back to Zant. It goes over his head and into his hands.
"No, I insist, this is for you!" Zant replies hastily while reaching to take Midna by the arm and returning the article.
"You know you want it." And she gives it back by slipping it into his armpit once his back is facing her.
Zant lets the mask drop into the clutches of his lanky fingers, and with a professional flick of the wrist sends it back Midna's way. "No thank you." Majora can't believe that Midna actually catches him without looking.
"It's your birthright." Midna to Zant.
"You're the princess; accept the responsibility!" Zant to Midna.
"It works like an umbrella."
"Happy Birthday!"
"Bon voyage!"
"NO!"
"BLAH!"
Twili have a nasty habit of shrieking; it's hereditary. Majora doesn't have eardrums, but listening to this is nonetheless painful. He is grateful that Midna flings him into the air in a desperate attempt to get rid of him. Without hesitation, Majora flees Twilight Fields, hoping to find some gosh darn peace and quiet!
…
And so, dawn of day two cometh. Cia, really wanting Wizzro to suffer, decides that his next assignment is Tingle. He vehemently refuses. The kind soul that Cia is, she offers an alternative—be her test subject for torture spells she found in a dusty tomb in old scrolls.
Tingle it is!
The fairy-man is ecstatic. Wizzro is supplied with an endless amount of confetti poppers immediately. They are large and kind of remind Wizzro of miniature horns. Like the one on Lana's bicycle. It's pink with sparkly fringes. She used it to warn pedestrians when she was bowling through. Unfortunately, that horn no longer works because Lana tried to ride her bike down the large staircase at the Valley. That may have been the greatest thing Wizzro ever saw; he laughed for an hour straight. And now that he's thinking about it, he's laughing again.
Wizzro quickly discovers the power of these poppers. Tampering with the string on the end of one, he sets it off. The cucco beside him, previously miffed when Tingle squashed it with his gold statue, happens to be in the way. The force of the popper is so strong that the cucco is seemingly obliterated. Great Nayru's Love, these things are dangerous!
The wizard is finally summoned when Tingle completes his mission. To kick off his celebration, he asks that Wizzro set of a few confetti poppers. Then he doesn't watch to see if Wizzro actually does anything. Wizzro smirks deviously. He sets off a popper against the back of Tingle's head. Tingle collapses.
"Where's this 'misery' you spoke of, Cia? Whee hee hee!" Wizzro taunts. If you can't tell, he's enjoying himself.
Tingle didn't appreciate that. If this guy wants to fight with confetti, so be it! Tingle jumps to his feet, his face as red as the tomatoes in Marin's garden. He grabs a confetti popper and aims it at Wizzro's eye. He is too busy maliciously chuckling to himself, so Tingle just sets off the popper into Wizzro's mouth. The wizard can feel the confetti in his lungs. He coughs up most of it. He is done coughing in time to maneuver away from Tingle before another popper is set off in his robes.
Nothing productive gets done the rest of the day.
…
Oh, so Fi is the sword of the goddess Hylia herself? Nope, nope, double nope! Fi was a candidate until that. She also would have been very difficult to take control of in the event that Majora would want to use her power. After that, Majora heads to the Forsaken Fortress.
"Hey Majora, catch this!" calls Toon Link. He tosses a rock that is about the size of his sister's palm. The rock hits the inside of the mask. Majora turns around. One of its eyes is narrowed. Toon Link throws another rock despite the fact that he knows Majora doesn't have limbs. This rock hits Majora in the forehead. Now Majora is scowling without a mouth.
Toon Link throws his boomerang. Majora leans to the side to avoid it, keeping his eyes on Toon Link. The boomerang comes back, successfully hitting its target. Majora is peeved now. Toon Link throws a third rock, the forth object in total.
Majora catches this rock. Tetra and Toon Link become tense, mostly with surprise. Majora wants them to see what it's like. He launches the rock back at Toon Link like a baseball pitcher. The rock's velocity severely bruises Toon Link's right arm.
"Catch this!" Tetra throws her knife. This is a pointless task for Majora, but he does it anyway. Limbs are not required to catch a knife. This is the point when Toon Link knows it's time to flee. Tetra wants her knife back.
Majora flips the knife around and holds the handle out to Tetra. The pirate hesitates. Majora insists she take it, so she approaches. Just as she reaches for it, Majora tosses it over her head. Like a dog to a bone, she follows it. Majora continues on his way.
Hmm… isn't there another sword spirit?
…
With her mission complete, Ruto is ready to go home. She turns to her slave for the day and commands, "Carry me."
He wasn't paying attention. He looks at her just in time to react as she jumps backwards in his general direction. A warrior's natural instinct might be to catch her, but Wizzro doesn't have that instinct. She hits the ground flat on her back in front of him, the dust blowing up into his eye.
Ouch.
Ruto slowly sits back up as Wizzro rapidly blinks his eye. The princess scolds, "Who allows a lady to fall to the ground?!"
"You could have jumped into lava for all I care," Wizzro yawns. He stretches his arms out in front of him, hoping to hear a pop from his tight elbows. Ruto refuses to give up. She jumps to her feet and hops into his arms, this time facing forwards.
The Zora princess just makes a bigger fool of herself; Wizzro's arms snap at the shoulders like sticks on a branch in winter and plummet with Ruto to ground below.
"Oowww! ^&$# my shoulders!" the wizard bellows appropriately. Ruto doesn't even look up. She just wants to lay there for a few minutes. Wizzro looks at her and asks, "What is wrong with you, woman?" Ruto doesn't respond, but instead gets up and walks towards the lake.
On the edge of the water, Volga sits. He empties his water-logged boots. Ruto approaches him from behind. The dragon knight looks into the Zora's eyes. "Have you ever considered teaching your wizard some manners?" she complains.
"My wizard? Which one?" he replies. (Yes, he is kind of teasing her.)
She stutters, "You know, the one with the dislocated shoulders!"
Volga honestly doesn't know who Ruto is referring to, at least, not anymore. "What?" Ruto rolls her eyes and motions for him to follow. He does.
Wizzro is resting on the remains of a Stalmaster. He may lack legs, but he can still sit down. He is contemplating his life. Where did it all go wrong? Was it when he challenged Cia to a bet? Was it before that? Was it when he insisted to be revived after Cia sealed him in his ring form when he attempted to deflect to Ganondorf's side? Was it before that? Perhaps it was when Cia gave him a body. He should have just remained a ring. Yes, certainly that is where it went wrong.
Ruto returns with Volga. She gestures to Wizzro. Volga is immediately amused, so he begins to chuckle. This is something he doesn't usually do.
"What are you laughing at?!" bellows Volga's former co-servant. He stands, and his arms attach themselves back to his shoulders via magic. Ruto flinches.
Volga calms down. "I'm sorry. I don't know why your predicament was so amusing."
"You did look like a sorry pile of rags sitting on that Stalmaster," Ruto 'helpfully' comments. "I know I'm a sorry rag pile, thank you very much." Wizzro owns it.
Ruto takes Volga by the arm and asks, "Does he really have to follow me around?" Volga shrugs and replies, "He lost a bet, so I'm afraid he does. Only Cia is benefiting." In the background, Wizzro groans, "Yeah, no kidding."
"There's got to be something you can do about it, Volga," Ruto pleas.
The dragon smiles. "Tell you what, I'll tag along and make sure Wizzro treats you right. If he doesn't, Cia will hear about it," he compromises. Ruto supposes she'll be satisfied with that. She exits haughtily, expecting these men to follow her.
Wizzro approaches Volga. "I cannot express how much I hate you right now," he calmly grumbles before going around the knight to follow the princess. Volga nods with a half-smile. A gentleman should never snicker at someone's misfortune, but snickering at Wizzro's misfortune is an exception.
And finally, none of this would have ever happened if it weren't for the beginning-
"There's no way you're taking the forest from Linkle."
"I'd be willing to wager that I will."
"Oh? Your stakes?"
"If I take the forest with my own army, you'll give me… your magic scepter. I can do anything I want with it, including beat you with it."
"Fair enough. But, if you fail to take the forest on your own, you'll agree to any terms I think of whilst you fight."
"Deal." And the two shake on it.
Meanwhile, Linkle hurries to equip her crossbows and trusty compass. She calls, "Skull Kid, I need to defend the forest."
"I'm coming with you!" he calls back, rushing from the kitchen to her room. She walks past him. He follows her out the front door. She pays no mind to him. Then she takes a wrong turn. "It's the other way!" Skull Kid calls. Linkle passes him again, saying, "Ok, you should probably come with." The forest child and the heroine rush to aid Faron Woods.
The battle is heated. Many of Wizzro's monsters are equipped with flaming weapons, just to make things interesting. Linkle keeps her distance from these monsters, sniping them from ludicrous distances.
Skull Kid isn't a long distance warrior. The flames could prove an issue. "AAAHH! Help! I'm on fire!"
"Stop, drop, and roll!" Linkle instructs. She tries to keep a calm composure, but there's a kid running around with flaming clothes. Instead of following the instructions, Skull Kid runs towards Linkle. Ok, Linkle is ready to panic now. She has to flee because not only is she starting to become surrounded, but her clothes are just as susceptible to burning.
The heroine spots a waterfall from an unknown source falling just beside the thick branches. She stops. She braves the flames, grabbing Skull Kid by the collar and drenching him in the waterfall.
"Aw, they haven't burned to death yet," mocks the enemy commander. "Should I kindle the Great Deku Tree again?"
"We won't let you lay a hand on the Great Deku Tree!" Linkle yells furiously. She almost forgets to pull Skull Kid out from under the waterfall.
The terms of the bet never said Wizzro couldn't lock an important keep. To assure victory, Wizzro takes and locks the fairy fountain, trusting the key to a single monster. That monster disguises itself amongst its colleagues.
"We're seriously outnumbered, Skull Kid," Linkle admits. "But if we give up, the forest is doomed." She reaches to take Skull Kid's hand. He takes a few deep breaths before taking her hand to be hauled to his feet.
Skull Kid receives a bit of insider's knowledge. He says, "Majora senses a key on one of these monsters."
"A key? To what?"
Skull Kid shrugs. They decide to split up and find this key. They begin to target enemy captains, not keeps. Wizzro notices this new development. He asks nobody in particular, "Why aren't they taking the keeps we can afford to lose?"
Majora spots a suspicious enemy and directs Skull Kid towards it. Skull Kid uses Majora's power to destroy that monster. A key drops from it. Skull Kid grabs the shiny key and declares, "Linkle, I got it!"
"Great! Maybe it goes to the fairy fountain!" She runs up from behind the kid. He tosses it over his shoulder, and Linkle catches it with ease. Her next destination is the fairy fountain.
Ok, perhaps that plan was a little faulty. Wizzro wonders why he didn't just swallow the key. At least then they'd have to wait a while to see it again. "You may have the key, but you still need to get past the gatekeeper!" he declares before summoning King Dodongo to the battlefield.
Linkle is only a few feet from the stairs when she is almost crushed by the Giant Boss. With swarms of monsters behind her, and only Skull Kid as an ally, Linkle knows that her only hope now is some assistance from the Great Fairy.
Skull Kid quickly approaches. The lizard beast targets him because he is the fastest moving object in sight. Linkle seizes this opportunity by crawling out from under the lizard and dashing to the fairy fountain doors. Wizzro is immediately aware of Linkle's presence in the fountain. He would go there himself to stop her, but there are just too many cuccos!
King Dodongo's tough scales are sufficient protection from the dark magic it is being assaulted with. Skull Kid begins to run out of space to back up into. The beast swipes its claws at its prey to keep it from falling off the branches. Skull Kid goes spiraling onto the ground.
Majora falls from the trees. Skull Kid lifts his exposed face. He can clearly see the feet of Wizzro's army. The smarter monster soldiers direct King Dodongo to the fairy fountain. The fate of Skull Kid is in their hands.
Linkle clutches her compass in her palm, holding it up by the top of her head while she pleas to the Great Fairy. She heard Skull Kid's cry, warning her that time is fleeting. King Dodongo is able to roll into the fountain, occupying much of the available space. Linkle gasps.
Her prayers are heard. The Great Fairy emerges from the water during her spin kick. King Dodongo receives this kick to the lip. Ouch. Linkle watches in awe as the Great Fairy wrestles with the beast. It's not every day you see that.
Wizzro's monster soldiers feel pleasure in torturing this powerless forest child. They pretend to lunge their weapons at him, laughing when he cries in fear. On the ground below, Majora wakes up. He quickly returns to the battlefield. He is embarrassed watching Skull Kid cry in the face of the enemy. The kid is incapable of fighting and defending himself without outside help. He is compelled by pity to take his place on Skull Kid's face once again. Once there, Skull Kid unleashes a surge of Majora's magic, effectively freeing him from his tormentors.
The climax of the battle has passed, the favor for Linkle. The Great Fairy emerges from the fountain with the bloody skins of the king in her fists. Cia, watching the battle through a crystal ball, suddenly feels queasy.
"WHAT?! She tore King Dodongo into reptile meat?! Since when does the Great Fairy get physical!?" screams the wizard. Linkle leaps gallantly from the top of the fairy fountain stairs. She lands on her feet, and the momentum lets her keep on going. The Great Fairy clears the way.
Wizzro desperately attempts to call another Giant Boss, but is unsuccessful. With his remaining strength, he sets a barrier on the keep he has wedged himself into. The Great Fairy shatters that barrier with ease. Wizzro flees into the ground, but he can't escape the Great Fairy. She plucks Wizzro out of the ground like Tingle plucks a rupee from Link's pocket.
Linkle aims her crossbows up at Wizzro and demands that he leave the forest, taking his army with him. In the commotion, he forgot the stakes. He admits defeat. The Great Fairy drops him. She and Linkle begin to clean up the forest.
The wizard brushes himself off. Cia warps to the battlefield. Her laugh alerts Wizzro to her presence. He freezes as a wave of realization washes over him. If he had skin, he'd be as pale as a Hylian spirit.
"What a show! I felt like I was watching an action movie," the sorceress says as she passes the ring wraith from behind. "Although, there's something I feel like I'm forgetting. Do you remember something about a wager?"
"No?" he murmurs.
Cia faces Wizzro. "Ah, now I remember! You fell like Termina's moon, which means that I won our little bet. That means we get to try that little idea I had during your battle." Uh oh—Cia kept her word and thought of the stakes while he was at war. What horrible fate did her twisted mind conjure up for him? Frankly, he'd rather not know.
Cia reveals, "I wondered how you would fare as a servant to the other warriors."
That… didn't sound painful. "What?" the wizard questions.
The dark half of the Guardian of Time shrugs as she smiles. "Starting tomorrow, you will serve a single warrior each day until every warrior has been served. Of course, the order in which you serve them will be my choosing, but until all of the warriors have had their turn, you're bound. Does that make sense?"
"Yes? But I fail to see how you benefit from this," Wizzro explains. Don't get him wrong; he'd much rather Cia not benefit from this, but when she could clearly profit from his loss, why does she not?
Cia chuckles inside before stating, "I do benefit from this. Your misery is entertaining. I could subject you to pain, but your constant screaming would give me a headache, so this is the next best thing."
This woman is more twisted than this wizard could ever be.
Instead of contributing to the clean-up effort, Skull Kid rests. He lies on his back, eyes closed. He listens to the methodical throbbing of his burns. The child is disturbed when Majora dislodges himself from his puppet.
"You realize how pathetic your display was, right?"
Skull Kid sits up. His right eyebrow is raised, his facial expression conveying confusion. Majora turns to face him. Skull Kid asks, "What do you mean? We won."
The mask disagrees. "No, Linkle won. I don't mean to be the ugly truth, but you were more of a nuisance than anything during that fight."
Ouch. Skull Kid's fists begin to tremble. He stutters, "I helped. Linkle needed me."
"But you needed me, Skull Kid," Majora stresses. "I watched you. You could have punched those monsters straight in the face, but you didn't. You just… cried."
Skull Kid is on the verge of tears. His heart hardens, however, and he swallows his sobs. "But you need me!" he tries to yell, but it only comes out as pitchy.
Coldly, Majora replies, "But I don't." That breaks the child. Skull Kid has his ocarina, his trumpet, and his fairies, but without Majora, other warriors would have crushed him by now. Majora is the real warrior, not him. He refuses to cry in front of Majora, so he takes off his hat and begins to bite the rim.
Majora continues by saying, "Hey, for a kid your age, you worked very hard. I've never seen you run as fast as you did today when your shorts were ablaze. But I worked harder."
That's true. Skull Kid realizes that he never even thanks Majora for all the magic. Skull Kid stands up and says, "You're right. I'm sorry. From now on, I'll work harder. Maybe I could ask Linkle to teach me a few moves."
"Yeah, you do that." Majora begins to float away.
Skull Kid is aghast. He asks wildly, "Where are you going?"
Majora doesn't even look back as he replies, "Isn't it obvious? I'm going to find someone who can take care of themselves."
"What?!" hollers Skull Kid. "I take care of myself! You don't see me accepting food like a baby!"
"You cry like a baby." Burn.
"I do not!"
"Do to."
"No I don't!"
"I'm on your face all the time. Yes, you cry like an infant."
"SHUT UP!"
Nearby, Linkle has stopped to watch.
"Look, I apologized for depending on you too much in battle, but I do NOT cry like baby!" Skull Kid angrily yells.
Majora rolls his eyes. Skull Kid saw that. He proceeds to storm off, hopping into the forest and disappearing. Linkle calls out to him to no avail. "Uh, ok. Bye!" says Majora. He turns around. Linkle is right up on him. She demands to know what happened. Majora casually explains, "Eh, I told him I didn't appreciate how I'm always the one hauling the weight between us. He said he'd try to man up, but I don't know; his display today was pretty bad, with and without me."
Linkle defends, "You're awfully hard on him. He's just a kid."
"So are you," snaps Majora. "Seriously, how old are you? Fourteen? Maybe sixteen and a half? That's as high as I'm going."
Linkle is appalled. She yells back, "Well, how old are you? Three?"
Majora laughs. "I'm older than the Twilight Realm itself, sister."
"If that's the case, why don't you act your age?" Linkle retorts.
Majora begins to disappear. He leaves Linkle hanging with this- "Because most people my age are dead."
Like that, Linkle is alone in the forest. She can't believe she just had an argument with a mask. Great, now she's insane and she still can't navigate. Just fabulous!
There's my story. I suppose you could read each segment from the top to the bottom backwards, and my tale will still make sense, but that's too much work. I'll be on Skull Kid's face if you need me. Bye!
Author's Notes- This was a long one, but it was an absolute joy to write. This one was inspired by two great suggestions from CupcakeGal25 and killerpokeball97. Many thanks to both of you. Remember that game of Would you Rather I wanted the warriors to play? Chapter 15 isn't very far away. Any last Would you Rather questions you guys have, please share them. Majora mentioned Yuga and Ravio in this story. They are scheduled to arrive in Hyrule by train after chapter 15, just as a heads up. I eagerly await future suggestions for chapters.