Chapter 15: Sure?
A/N: FIRST I HAVE TO SAY: AT THE END OF CHAPTER 14 I SAID THEY HAVE 7 MORE MONTHS, I LOOKED BACK AND BY THEN IT WOULD ACTUALLY BE 6 MORE MONTHS, OOPS :S…SORRY, I HAD A BUSY WEEKEND, OTHERWISE I WOULD HAVE UPDATED SOONER. I WENT TO A RAW HOUSE SHOW ON SUNDAY AND I GOT A PICTURE WITH JEFF HARDY (YAY) THE MAIN EVENT FOR THAT SHOW WAS JOHN VS JEFF FOR THE WWE TITLE. (I DIDN'T KNOW WHO TO GO WITH. SOUND FAMILIAR :P) WELL IT WAS INTERUPTED BY THE PUSSY REDNECKS (CADE AND MURDOCH) SO JOHN BASICALLY GAVE JEFF A RAIN CHECK. BUT THEY WERE HAVING AN AWESOME MATCH UNTIL IT WAS INTERUPTED, SO I CAN'T WAIT TILL THEY LOCK UP IN THE RING AGAIN :D SHOUTOUTS TO: Cena130, csimiamigirl73, techwiz THANK YOU GUYS VERY MUCH FOR THE REVIEWS. I WONDER WHO'S GONNA BE REVIEW #50 :P
Two days later mom, Michael and Stephanie came home. But dad had to leave the next day. That first week John and I helped out a lot. Mom had lost more blood than normal so she was sleeping pretty much all week to let her body replenish the blood she lost. She felt so bad about not helping out a lot. But John and I kept telling her that she needed her rest and that it was no problem. At one point in time while the babies were asleep and so was mom, I was in my room lying on my bed; writing in my journal, just thinking.
"Hey Steph, can I come in?" John stood in my doorway.
"Ya, come sit down" I patted the spot next to my side. I didn't feel like getting up, so I just laid there as he sat next to me.
"We need to talk" he sighed
"I know" I knew what was coming. And I gotta be honest; I don't know what it is but ever since we found out about the pregnancy, my feelings for John have grown. I know they shouldn't cause I'm with Jeff and I still love him, but I can't control my feelings.
"Steph" he took my hand "I know you love Jeff, OK. And I have no intentions of breaking you guys up. But… I love you. Then I find out that you're carrying my kids and it just makes me love you even more and I didn't think that was possible" he said looking into my eyes. He is so sweet.
"John, I love you too. But…" I started to explain
"Wait, what? You love me too?" he was shocked
"Yes John, I do. But I also love Jeff. I wanna be with you, I really do. But I also still wanna be with Jeff" I said as sympathetically as possible.
"I understand. Do whatever you need to do. I know in my heart that you're the one for me so I'll wait for you" he said and leaned down and kissed me. This one was different than that first one; this one was accepted and wanted too. There was more feeling and passion in this one kiss than in any of Jeff's combined. It was amazing. We just got really into it and started making out for the next like 10 minutes.
"Uh-hem" mom cleared her throat, which made John jump up off the bed as I sat up.
"I'm…uh…gonna go check on Mikey and Stephanie" John said and left the room.
"Explain" mom said. So I did. I explained how my feelings for him had grown, the conversation we just had, the other day at the hospital, all of it.
Mom sighed as she sat next to me. "You need to decide who is more important in your life, then you'll figure out who you want, cause you can't do this to them. I'll leave you to your thoughts. Remember, I'm always here if you need me"
"I know mom" I gave her a hug "Thanks" then mom left the room,
So I went to a new page in my journal and wrote down the differences between John and Jeff. First I did the qualities; I wrote down the good and the bad for both men. And of course the good outweighed the bad by far for both of them. Jeff has been great to me; I mean he's OK with me being pregnant by another man. John, well he's the one that got me pregnant but as he argued with his parents, he did step up. Which is a huge plus, cause there are sometimes where adults don't even step up. They both basically became my best friends on my first day of school. John is living with us now and to see Jeff I would have to fly up there every time to see him. It would be easier on the kids, especially when they get older cause think about it; if I stay with Jeff but still live with John then it would confuse them. I've already seen John with Mikey and Stephanie so I know he'll be great with ours. John's already got a close relationship with mom and dad but he's known them longer. Jeff didn't hit it off so well with dad. Dad's just not that into Jeff I guess. So right now it looks like John, but I haven't talked to Jeff for a while, or Amy I've been meaning to find out from her on how Jeff is taking the whole, John living with me thing. So I decided to call her.
"Hey Ames"
"Hey Steph, how is everybody?" she asked
"Good, mom's doing a lot better" I sat back down on my bed.
"That's good"
"Ya. But I seriously need to talk to you" I laid down and just stared at the ceiling.
"What's up?" she sounded a little concerned.
"Confidential?" I asked
"Of course" she replied
"Cause I know Jeff is like your brother but you need to try and see it from my point"
"Alright, go on"
"OK, so…" and I explained it all.
"Like you said, Jeff is like my brother but he hasn't been making me the happiest person as of lately"
"Why?" I wondered
"Well he's just been in this constant pissy mood. Complaining about John living with you" she sounded mad about it.
"But I thought they had gotten closer"
"Ya they did, but Jeff changed his mind when John moved in with you"
"But his parents kicked him out!" Doesn't Jeff understand that?
"I know, that's what I argue. But he says about how John could have moved in with Randy"
"He could of but John wants to be there with me through it, plus he IS gonna be in the kids lives and it would just be easier on everyone if John lived here"
"That's what I said"
"Then what's his problem?"
"He said that he knows something is going on. And from what you told me, he's right" I'm glad she wasn't mad about that.
"Ya, but I've always had SOME feelings for John. Even before I got with Jeff, I've been confused between the two since I first met them; you know that" I explained
"I know, but you did chose Jeff"
"I know I did and those feelings for John didn't grow and I had decided that John was just my best friend. Even then Jeff thought something was going on, then…" she cut me off, she knows me so well.
"…once you found out how strong John felt for you, which was around the time you got pregnant; you started to question your feelings for Jeff while those feelings for John grew"
"Yes, but I still love Jeff and I don't want to hurt him" I started to cry
"No matter what happens, you will always love Jeff. He was your first love, nothing can change that"
"I know Ames, I know. I just don't know what to do"
"My advice to you would be… break it off with Jeff"
"What? But…"
"I know, he's like my brother. But, no matter how much he may SEEM to be OK with it all, he isn't. Trust me, I know. Whatever you decide to do, if you decide to break up with Jeff, I didn't tell you any of this stuff. I really hope it goes OK and you guys could still be friends"
"I hope so too. Thank you so much Ames. I know I said it before but I honestly don't know what I would do without you" I dried my tears.
"No problem Steph. Call me whenever you need me OK"
"I will. I'll let you know how it goes"
"Thanks. I love you like a sister, I hope you know that" she said, made me smile.
"I know, and I love you like a sister too"
"Just wanted to make sure. Talk to ya later"
"Bye" then I hung up. I'm glad that Randy has Amy, they deserve each other.
So I laid in bed for the next half hour until I heard one of the babies cry. I got up and I saw mom in the hallway on her way there too. "It's alright, I got it mom, go lay back down"
"Thanks" she turned around and went back to bed.
I walk in there and see Mikey still fast asleep and Stephanie just balling. So I took her downstairs before she woke him up. I held her in my arms just cradling her, trying to get her to go back to sleep. It wasn't working. "Are you hungry? I bet that's what it is" I said to her and grabbed a bottle from the fridge and started feeding her; she started eating.
"I was right, wasn't I?" I smiled at her. Then I decided to sit in the rocking chair while I fed her.
"What is your big sister gonna do? Huh Stephie. Just so you know, I am the only one that can call you that. You know why? Cause that's daddy's nickname for me. So the way I see it, only a Stephie can call another Stephanie, Stephie" she smiled a little "Do you get what I'm saying? Of course not, you're not old enough yet. But I'm gonna talk to you anyways" I sighed "I hope you are never in the situation that I'm in right now. It is so stressful. Actually I know you will never be in this situation because guys will have to go through me to date you and I don't see that happening very easily. Plus, you'll have dad and John for sure and probably Mikey and Randy too. So on top of me you got 4 guys that are going to be over protective too. Once I approve of them I guess I will have to make sure the guys lay off, right?" My eyelids grew heavy as I yawned "I just realized… you're not even one year old yet and in 5 and a half more months you're gonna be an aunt. That's gonna be weird" I yawned again and shut my eyes. I fell asleep with my little sister in my arms. But I had a really bad dream. It was like I was watching a movie… (A/N: ITALLICS IS THE DREAM)
I came out of my body; I could see myself sleeping in the rocking chair with Stephie. Then I hear the doorbell ring, I wake up and answer the door; it's Jeff. "Hey Babe, what are you doing here?" I asked as I gave him a hug.
"Stephanie, I really need to talk to you" he said with a serious look on his face.
"OK, let me go put Stephie down" so I went and put her back in her crib.
"Let's go out back" he suggested, so we did.
"What's on your mind?" I asked as I shut the door behind me.
"More like, what's on your mind?" he asked. He could always see right through me.
"Jeff" I sighed "I love you and I always will, but…"
"But? There's a but?" I could tell he was starting to get mad.
"Let me finish. But I love John too and…"
"See, I knew it. I knew there was something going on between you two. I knew it then and you made me out to be the bad person"
"There wasn't anything going on then" he wouldn't look at me "Babe look at…"
"Don't call me that you whore" he yelled
"Excuse me"
"You were playing my heart while you were fucking John"
"Jeff, what the hell? You know I wouldn't do that. That's insane" then he slapped me across the face.
"Don't call me insane"
"I didn't call you insane; I said 'That's insane' what is your problem?" I yelled
"You are" he slapped me again "You cheated on me" he kicked my shin, which made me fall to the ground.
"What has gotten into you?" I yelled again
"Common sense" he kicked my stomach
"Jeff, don't do that!"
"Why not?" he kicked me in the stomach again "Cause then there, won't be anything between you and John anymore" he kicked my stomach again "Then it can just be us" he kicked me again, he just kept kicking. He looked like he had gone crazy.
"JEFF STOP! PLEASE DON'T! JEFF PLEASE STOP!" I was pulled out of my night mare by someone shaking my shoulders. I open my eyes and see John.
"Are you OK? You were having a nightmare" John stated
"Where's Stephie?" I asked, noticing she wasn't in my arms.
"I put her in her crib. What happened?" John asked
"It was horrible. Jeff was beating me, he kept kicking my stomach, he called me…he called me a…" I started to cry.
"It's OK" John hugged me "It was just a nightmare. Whatever he called you I know he wouldn't really do that" I continued to cry as John just held me in his arms. 10 minutes later I dried my tears.
"I'm gonna break up with Jeff"
"You can't do that just because of a nightmare"
"It's not. All day I've been thinking about it. And I choose you. I really wanna be with you John, I love you" I kissed him
"I love you too" he kissed me back "When are you gonna do it?"
"As much as I HATE doing stuff like this over the phone, that nightmare just has me shook up, so I'm gonna call him"
"I'll leave you alone to do it"
"Thanks" I said as he walked out of the room. I took a deep breath and called Jeff.
"Hey Hun" he answered the phone
"Hey Jeff, you got a minute?"
"For you? Of course I do" he was cheery
"We're ALWAYS gonna be friends, right?" I asked
"Ya, of course we are. Why?"
"Cause with me being here to help mom with the kids and you being there, it's just… Long distance relationships don't work"
"I know they don't. Especially when you have another man that you're in love with living with you" he didn't sound mad.
"How?..."
"Hun look, I know OK. I understand. You have to be honest with me. You're breaking up with me for John. Just say it" he seemed so calm about it.
"Alright, I am. I'm really sorry Jeff. I still love you though"
"I know you do, I love you too. I just want to see you happy"
"But you make me happy too" he's not doing it intentionally but he's making me feel bad.
"But you're happier with John, I could always see that. Sure he was just your best friend then but I could tell that you were happier with him. Besides, it's best for the babies for me to just butt out"
"No don't do that. Randy and Ames are gonna be called aunt and uncle and you are gonna be called uncle Jeff, whether you like it or not. I still wanna be friends with you Jeff"
"I don't know if I can do that" then I heard the dial tone. I started to cry again. How many times do I have to cry in one day? I left a note on the table that said I was going for a walk. I was in dire need of sometime alone right now.
A/N: SO I KNOW ATLEAST HALF OF YOU WERE WAITING FOR IT AND IT'S OFFICIAL, JEFF AND STEPH ARE BROKEN UP AND STEPH IS WITH JOHN. WHAT'S NEXT? I GUESS YOU'LL HAVE TO WAIT AND FIND OUT :P