Hi everyone! Thanks so much for reading this story! This is my first story in ages so I hope y'all like it.
Summary: Nyo!Denmark knows that Norge and her family are going to love her more than life itself, she just needs to change a few little things about herself, no biggie.
She ran a hand through her long blonde hair, blowing a strand of hair out of her face and sighing, the kind of dramatic sigh that Norway hated.
She instantly forced the dramatic sighs to stop halfway through. She couldn't do anything that her dear Norge wouldn't like.
Call it a new year's resolution, even though it was June, but this year Denmark wasn't going to get in Norway's way at all, she would be the perfect bubbly sidekick who was always there for him and never get on his nerves.
It was wearing her out, though, and it was only her second day.
She remembered a simpler time in her life when all five of them were together, living in her country, she was so happy. They lived traditional lives in a small little cottage in central Jutland, and although they were immortal nations who could have all the riches in the world if they simply asked for it, they decided to steer away from the histrionicism of the newly industrialising world, away from the decadence and modernisation.
Just the five of them, a small cottage, and love.
Where did it all go?
It didn't matter to Mathilde though, she was going to win them all back, first Norge, then Sverige, then Island and finally Finland.
They would be a family again, whether they liked it or not.
She took a moment to study herself in the mirror, turning around to watch her long blonde hair sway down at her waist, she had curled it slightly today, not used to making the effort to tame her hair, so it certainly didn't look salon grade, but it was pretty enough, she concluded.
Pretty enough for Norge.
You see, she was almost notorious for her long hair which was often a mess, jutting off in unexpected angles almost as though it was spiky.
Today she was making a special effort.
Her outfit was also meticulously chosen, a white summer dress, long black knee-high socks, and her signature black and red cardigan thrown over the top.
Yes, she concluded, I look… pretty.
She wasn't used to feeling feminine at all, and despite a petite frame, long hair and pretty face no one really saw her as a girl due to her loud, boyish and often obnoxious personality, along with the fact that she knew practically no girls except maybe for Greenland, as she surrounded herself with boys all of the time.
She sighed again, obnoxious, stupid and boyish, that must be why they all left me.
She looked at the mirror one more time and walked out of the door after locking up, getting into her car.
It was the day of the world meeting Hamburg, meaning that luckily she was close enough to simply drive from her house to Germany, and although it was a few grueling hours in the car, anything was better than having to sit in an airport for hours on end.
By the time she had arrived the other nations were still pouring in. At least Norge couldn't get annoyed at her for being too late, huh?
She walked through the halls towards the Scandinavian panel before she was interrupted.
"HEY! DANEMARK!"
She whipped her head around to see an energetic albino practically jumping off of the walls.
She instantly smiled, she understood what it felt like to have so much energy and no one to show it to.
"I hardly even recognised you! I always look out for the hair when it comes to you, you look nice!"
She blushed slightly, although Prussia and her were no more than 'best bros for life' it felt so nice to be given a compliment, especially since she hadn't received for a long time.
"Thanks, dude!" She said, giving him a fist-bump.
"I see that the hair's changed but the personality hasn't."
She laughed.
"Don't fix what ain't broke!" She joked, yet deep down she knew that it was a lie.
Hypocrite, she thought, you are 'broke', that's why you're fixing your personality for Norge and the others.
I know that I should be acting grown up and mature for Norge, but it can't hurt just to act like myself around Gilbert, can it?
"Damn right you are!" Prussia said, going in for a crazy bear hug, she responded with just as much enthusiasm.
"Honestly, you act like you never see each other, you two got together last week." Said a new voice, cold and accented.
Both of them turned their heads to the familiar voice to see a taller Norwegian man somewhat sneering at them, holding a coffee in one hand and folders in the other.
Both Prussia and Denmark awkwardly broke apart the bear hug, knowing that Norge clearly wasn't impressed.
Denmark didn't know why, what was wrong with having friends?
"Lukas! I missed you!" She exclaimed, trying to run up to him and give him a huge hug.
It failed. Catastrophically. Coffee spilled all over his folders, over his clothes, even getting into his silvery hair.
Oh God. No! She had worked so hard to be perfect, even if it was only for 24 hours.
He looked up at her, seething, and Prussia gasped in a very girly manner.
"IDIOT!" He screamed, alerting everyone in the room, which by this point was practically every country in the world.
She recoiled, his harsh words sinking in, hitting where it hurt.
Idiot? That was what she was, wasn't it?
Good for nothing Dane with her head in the clouds. Airheaded to the point of no return.
"YOU CAN'T SEEM TO DO ANYTHING RIGHT!"
More attention, more stares.
Stop it! Stop it! I don't want the attention, I don't want Lukas to be angry at me!
"I COME IN AND THE FIRST THING I GET IT YOUR STUPID BODY FLUNG AT ME AND THANK JESUS THAT COFFEE WAS COLD BECAUSE I WOULD BE EVEN MORE FUCKING PISSED OFF IF IT WASN'T!"
He was swearing. Lukas never swore at her.
Not even the day he left her.
Tears began welling up as she bit her top lip to stop the flow.
Dignity, Mathilde, have dignity.
"Dude, stop it!" A German accent cut in, Prussia stepping in front of her, creating a barrier between the now silently whimpering Mathilde and Lukas.
"Stay out of it Prussia! It's not your business, it's her fault that she's always in the way so she may as well be told what she's doing wrong!"
This is what it's come to, she thought, I'm being scolded like a child in front of the whole world.
I'm older than all of them, they used to cower at my name. Kongeriget Danmark. I owned England at one point for Odin's sake, now they treat me like I'm five.
"You bastard! Like you're any better!" Shouted Prussia, a seriousness and anger in his tone that Denmark hadn't heard since she was at war with him, and that was over 150 years ago. The seriousness felt odd on his voice. "You sit there all day and sulk over your coffee! I don't know why she's so devoted to you. Mathilde would jump off a bridge for you yet it would appear that you wouldn't even sacrifice a coffee and a couple of folders for her happiness!"
Lukas scoffed, turning into a seething red colour, droplets of brown liquid still rhythmically dropping from his strands of hair.
"I'm no hypocrite, if anything she's the hypocrite, she acts a perfect and goofy but in all honesty she's just clingy-"
"You COLD BASTARD! It's not true! Don't you dare say that about Mathild-"
"-WHY DOES IT MATTER IF I'M A COLD BASTARD! AT LEAST I DON'T GET IN PEOPLE'S FACES ALL THE TIME!"
There was silence for a few moments among everyone in the room, before the only rapture in the silence was a big, ugly sob that was ripped from Mathilde's mouth.
"Shit." Whispered Lukas under his breath, walking closer to her in trepidation, 'shit shit shit shit shi-"
"SHUT UP!" Screamed Mathilde, "SHUT UP, SHUT UP, SHUT UP!"
She was clutching her hands over her ears, she had now collapsed to the ground, rocking back a forth like a loony.
They're all watching me, she thought, the whole world knows that I have no one. No one. No. One.
Prussia came up behind her, lifting her up and holding her, rocking her slowly as she cried.
It was the longest minute in the history of world meetings.
Longer than that time that Italy and Romano were fighting.
Longer than that time that Sweden and Finland had a skirmish about Sealand.
Longer than that time that Liechtenstein cried because her brother was angry at her.
No. That minute of Denmark's heart-wrenching sobs was so long that it felt longer than the longest wars that they had fought.
Everyone was too scared to say a thing, so they simply said nothing and alternated between watching Norway's shocked and guilt-stricken face and Denmark's sobs.
The silence was finally broken by Sweden, who walked up to Norway, whispered to him to sit down and then crouched down to look at Denmark, Prussia practically hissing at him with every step closer he took, guarding her like a lioness guarded her cub. It made sense though, the two of them had been like brother and sister since the dawn of time.
"D'nmark…" He said, cautious not to upset her further.
Sweden tried to get her eye contact.
He failed, her eyes still shut tightly, tears escaping as rapidly as before.
"D'nmark… We love you, you kn'w that don't you?"
Another sob. Then another. And another.
"Ple'se, D'nmark. Stop crying. He didn't mean it."
Silence. More sobs.
"Liars." She spat out, her eyes still squeezed shut and teeth still clenched. "You never cared. None of you. You what's funny, I thought I could win you all back if I acted perfectly and changed my personality. I'm a fool to think that you'd all want me back. I want my family back, the one that would sail the seas together and conquer new lands. It feels like they died and left you in their places."
A gasp came from Norway at the Scandinavia table, an odd mixture of coffee and tears on his face. Finland and Iceland looked just as shocked, on the brink of tears.
"D'nmark. I'll say it again. We love you" Came Sweden's unsteady voice.
"Liars." She breathed out again, as though it were a whisper.
""Ple'se stop, Math'lde, you're worrying us."
"You're all so cold, you think that you can come here and make amends just because I'm upset now. It doesn't take from the years of names being thrown at me."
"It's all friendly D'nmark. The n'mes prove that we're a family."
"We're not a real family Sve, you know that much." She said, louder this time so that everyone could hear her. "Our family broke up years ago."
"You know that's n't true."
"We're living a sham." She whispered, so quietly that only really Prussia could hear her.
Mathilde knew that she was probably over-reacting, but it felt so good to say it out loud. The thoughts had been eating her alive for years.
He held her closer and kept on rocking until he whispered if she wanted to leave into her ear.
She nodded, asking if she could leave the room alone.
Prussia looked almost offended that she didn't want him to go with her, but at the same time he understood why she wanted to be alone.
She left the meeting hall graciously, with her head held high, despite her makeup that she had spent so long on running down her face in streaks of black and the white sundress had brown spots where she had sat in that puddle of lukewarm coffee.
Dignity, she thought, they saw you come in broken, let them watch you leave as a poised young woman, make them respect you again like they used to.
As soon as she was out of the room and in solitude, she had expected to break down into another fit of sobs but nothing would come out.
She was drained dry of tears, so empty that she was a shell in which nothing could escape.
She didn't quite know how it came to happen, but somehow she found herself curled inside a broom cupboard, switching the lights off and letting herself fall asleep, the emotions swirling in the pit of her stomach becoming too much of a hassle to deal with.
She woke up in a familiar bed, familiar house with a familiar coffee smell to it.
There was a familiar man sitting in a familiar chair with familiar silvery hair.
With an unfamiliar look of worry etched on his perfect features.
The memories of the day before came flooding back like one of Japan's tsunamis.
"Good morning." He said, a single tear slipping out of his eyes.
"What am I doing here?"
"I found you in the broom closet asleep, decided to take you home… God! What were you doing in there!"
"Why are you crying?" She whispered, still half asleep and half upset. "You never cry."
"I've never had something to cry over before."
"I'm not worth crying over." She said, burying her face into the duvet.
"Of course you are."
An awkward silence fell over the two. It was an odd and unwelcome feeling, Denmark always had something to say to Lukas but now her voice box felt clipped, as though it had been strangled with a million ties and she just couldn't get the words out.
"I didn't mean it you know. What I said." He said, looking down in shame.
"Of course you did." She reiterated.
"I didn't"
"Well, I meant what I said." She whispered, looking at him so that he would lift his head and look her straight in the eye.
"What do you mean?" He asked.
"You're cold and heartless and you never cared for me."
He said nothing, returning his eyes back to that spot on the ground that he apparently thought was so riveting.
"I worship you, though. What you said won't change that. Never can and never will." She whispered again.
"I know." He said.
"I'd do anything for you."
"I know."
"I don't know why. You're not worth it."
"I- I know," Lukas repeated, his voice wavering.
"I'll always be there for you, even if you don't want me. I have no one else."
Lukas' head snapped up. "See that's where you've got it wrong."
Mathilde tilted her head in confusion, her facial expressions saying all of the things that her mouth didn't know how to say.
"I'll always be there for you too." He said, with a small bittersweet smile. "I'm not ideal, I'm mean and cold and that probably won't be changing anytime soon, but I'm as devoted to you as you are to me, and that scares me."
He paused, looking anywhere but into her eyes, trying desperately to look natural.
"You love me?"
"I love you." He choked out, not because it wasn't true but because the words felt unnatural on his tongue.
"Ok."
"Huh?" He inquired. He was expecting her to be much happier than this, wasn't this what she wanted.
"I don't know what to say."
"This is the bit where you say I love you too."
"But I'm scared. I've wanted you to say those words to me for centuries yet now I don't know what to respond with."
"Of what? Of me? Please, Mathilde, don't be scared of me."
There was a moment of silence as he went to sit on the bed, joining her.
"I'm not afraid of you, I'm afraid of your words." She breathed, locking their eyes. "They hurt, Lukas, my god they hurt. Tiny little knives, each and every one of them."
A second tear fell down his pale cheek.
"I'm sorry, Mathilde."
"Promise you'll never hurt me like that again, I'm a forgiving person Lukas, but I need your word for it."
"I swear on my immortal life to never hurt you like that again."
She shot him a small, insecure smile, like a teenage passing a smile to her crush in the hallways, not knowing if it was the right move or not.
To Mathilde's delight, her tiny smile was returned.
"Then I love you, but you didn't need me to say that for you to know it."
His arms wrapped around her slender chest, tangling their way around her into a very awkward hug. She didn't care, though, Lukas was new to showing affection to others, she would take whatever she was given.
She smiled into his neck as she hugged him back, listening to him whispering 'I love you's' to her.
They weren't perfect, he was cold and she was obnoxious, but countries are people too, and people aren't perfect.
"Now what's this I hear about you thinking you need to change to get us to love you." He whispered, the two of them still intertwined into a hug.
She felt herself go pale, all except for her cheeks, which went a bright red colour.
"I thought you thought that I was too stupid, loud, ugly, boyish and obnoxious. I thought that was why you all didn't love me." A single tear escaping again. No matter how much she cried it appeared that there was no end to the crying.
"You're a fool, true, but that doesn't mean you're not intelligent. You're loud, but that doesn't mean what you have to say isn't interesting. You're boyish, but you'll always be beautiful and there's nothing wrong with not being a classic girl. And of course you're obnoxious, but that may as well be the reason that I fell in love with you."
"That's not true at all-" She stuttered.
"Oh shut up," he whispered before quickly leaning in and enclosing his mouth on hers before she could say anything else. Both of them weren't experts but somehow the seemed to know what to do, their lips melding together until the need to air was so great that she had to pull away.
She hadn't smiled such a big smile since they had all lived at her house. Her, Norge, Sverige, Island and Finland.
Yes, she thought, we're not perfection, but we're pretty damn close.
I loved writing this. Firstly, because I live for the angst but also because Nyo!Denmark deserves more love. I live in Denmark myself but my dad is British so I speak British English, I hope that the spelling doesn't annoy anyone. My computer is set to British English so I'd rather not change all of the spellings, sorry!