The Lost, The Stupid, & The Mummy

By BTTD28 and AlexiaGeminiPotter ;)

Chapter Ten: Amber's Logic and Wondering Thoughts

Contains a "MOMENT" inside Rick's head involving Amber…and it's dirty.

:::-:::-:::

"Soap in the eye equals pain." Amber stated.

Rick looked at her amazingly, how could she be so…adorably clueless? "Wait, where did you get the soap?"

Amber grinned, "The mysteries of a ladies handbag are never revealed. NEVER!"

"Amber, you don't have a handbag." Rick said smiled despite himself.

"Silly, Rick. That's what bras are for." Amber said.

"Sometimes I wonder what's going on in your mind." Rick said

"Well the logic of Amber is quite simple really, but you'd have to be me to understand it." Amber explained.

"Ah, I see." Rick said nodded.

"No, you don't, but kudos for you for trying." Amber said patting him on the back.

"I'm confused again." Rick said with a sigh.

"That's what you get for wondering what I'm thinking." Amber said with a wink. She leans up against the railing and continues explaining, "A lady is entitled to her secrets you know."

Naylor walked by and mumbled, "Pfft, lady."

Amber glared at him then smacked him on the back of the head.

"I'm still confused, what makes you think the things you do?" Rick asked.

Amber grinned and simply states, "By being me."

Rick opened his mouth to argue, but Naylor walked up and said, "Just give it up man, you can't win this fight. TRUST ME!"

"The ways of my mind are complex to others because I think in an abstract way..." Amber began.

"Oh lord, here we go..." Naylor said rolling his eyes.

"Some people tend to think not so positive. I.E negative. So in a situation where we, oh I don't know, say we're running from dead mummies. Some people…" She glares at Naylor before continuing. "Would think we are about to die, and/or get trampled maybe even eaten by the undead. I would think it's a great exercise opportunity and while still being scared at the other possibilities, I'd try and think about living, instead of...you know...dying..."

"Right...and when did you begin to realize you were insane?" Rick said trying not to laugh.

"7th grade," Amber winked.

"I would've said at birth." Jonathan piped up.

"Hey, you weren't in this conversation two minutes ago." Amber snapped.

"So what?" Jonathan said.

"So you don't qualify for this level of conversation." Amber said.

"Are you getting any of this?" Jonathan asked Rick.

"Hey man, you weren't there for the start of this conversation, it seems pretty rude to just pop up and wanna jump in." Rick said.

"Thank-you," Amber said proudly.

"Hey guys," Evy said walking up.

"Hello, Evelyn." Amber smiled.

"What are we talking about?" Evelyn asked.

"Nothing." Rick said quickly.

Amber and Evelyn raised their eyebrows. "They're trying to figure out how my mind works."

"That's impossible." Evy said.

"That's what we were saying." Rick said.

"No, I mean it's impossible because you're guys." Evy smiled.

"Thank-you, Evy. Someone who understands that." Amber said.

"I quit." Rick said.

"I told you to do that like ten minutes ago." Naylor said.

Rick rolled his eyes and looked over to watch Evelyn talk to Amber and his mind flashed with a terribly dirty thought. He saw Amber and Evy dressed in belly dancer outfits and grinding up on each other. Amber twisted her hair and dropped her hips against Evy, which Evy ran a hand down eagerly. "Rick." Amber moaned.

"Rick!" Evy shouted.

He snapped out of his little day dream and saw that Amber was waving her hand in front of his face. "What are you doing?" She asked. "You were drooling."

"Nothing," Rick said quickly checking if he had really drooled.

"Right," Amber said raising her eyebrow.

Rick shook his head and sat down next to Ardeth. He was grinning at him, "What were you staring at?"

"I wasn't staring at anything." Rick said defensively.

"Sure, you weren't." Ardeth said.

Rick was afraid to look up when Amber approached, "Hey you two."

"Hey Amber," Ardeth said smiling at Rick who wasn't looking up at her.

"What's up Rick?" Amber asked curiously.

"Yeah, Rick. What's up?" Ardeth whispered.

"Ardeth, I think Rick can handle it him self." Amber said.

Rick blushed in his hands and let out an embarrassed sigh, "I'm fine. Just tired."

He jumped when she put her hand on his back, "Well, why don't you get some sleep? You've all done enough for one day and I'm sure Kaylee and Alex are fine."

"You think so?" Rick asked sitting back to look at her.

Amber smiled, "I know it. They can't be getting into too much trouble."