Disclaimer: I don't own Hetalia, even though everyone knows that I don't I'm still going to put this here because it makes me feel validated.

She was tired. So tired.

Stepping out of the world meeting she couldn't do anything but sigh, clinging her hoards of paper to her chest as though it were some form of baby hanging awkwardly in her embrace.

Lovina was never any good with babies.

Trudging out of the meeting hall she thought over why she even kept attending those stupid things; she never felt as though she had anything to say and they only ever listened to Feliciana anyways. Not that Lovina cared, nothing useful got solved in those meetings, much to The German Bastard's dismay.

Lovina shivered just at the thought of the German. She would never possibly have any clue as to why her sister was so obsessed with him, as he both had the personality of a potato as well as the looks of one. Tall, blond and bland. Feliciana was always around him though and he clearly had her brainwashed or something.

What a dick.

Now, on any other given day she would have loved to voice her concerns about the potato man right to his face but that day she just wasn't feeling it.

Watching her sister bounce around behind the potato she simply sighed again. How could one person have so much energy in their body?

How dreadfully boring her life had become, reduced to simply watching other nations bicker as she tutted her head.

She used to fight wars, topple empires, change history!

Now she watched Britain's awkward exchanges with the Germany as he tried clumsily to arrange meetings to talk about the effects of Brexit.

She felt like a side character in a sit-com, the one no one paid any attention too and was only given a two-episode cameo.

"LOVINA!" She heard someone shout in an overly-enthusiastic tone of voice.

She spun her head around, carefully trying not to drop a handful of the overspilling papers which were still nestled clumsily in her arms.

A look of disdain crossed her features, of all people why did it have to be him to interrupt her on her tired and grumpy day. Anyone! Anyone else! Well, maybe not Germany.

"How are you doing!" Antonio asked, smiling widely at her.

"Fine, even better now that you're here." She said, sarcasm dripping from her tone as though it was liquid.

He turned his face into an equally sarcastic frown, before returning to his signature smile. "You break my heart sweetheart, really, you do."

"Good." She replied, turning her back to him and trying her best to act contempt. Truth was, she didn't mind his company, at least someone was paying attention.

She only had to take a few steps away from him before Spain had ran up to her side again, trying to regain her attention. She almost felt the need to hold back a snicker at his childish antics.

"Lovi, wait!" So she did.

"What is it, bastard?"

"I have a proposition"

"So?"

"Come and have dinner with me tonight, you look so cute, it's only natural." He asked, and although he was trying to act suave she could hear that he was nervous.

Not that she knew why, he asked her out practically every time that he saw her, and every time he received the same monotonous answer.

"No."

His face fell slightly, but he was used to it by now, nothing ever changed with her.

He sighed before saying goodbye, trying not to look to dejected, and oddly enough, Lovina felt something strange stirring in the pit of her stomach. Every time she turned him down it came back stronger than before. Regret.

She had hurt him, it was all she was good for, she didn't even know why he liked her. He was a good looking man who had been oddly enough obsessed with the idea her for so long, why wasn't she swooning under his gaze like most girls?

Truth was, she didn't really hate his company, craved it, actually.

He noticed her.

She shook her head, shaking the preposterous thoughts right out of her head.

She could 'give' herself to a man, it would like being the final and most pathetic step to losing her independence.

She had lost so much over the years, going from one of the most influential countries in Europe to a country suffering as much from the recession as everyone else on the continent.

She and her country used to be untouchable by the rest of the world, what happened?

Letting herself be with a man or woman would be like giving up the last of her glory days.

So why did she feel so horribly guilty.

She had somehow managed to convince Feliciana to stay at her's for the weekend, something that she found harder than expected, since prying her sister from 'The Potato' was like trying to pry a Mormon away from Church.

They did all the things that good sisters do, made food, watched TV, painted each other's nails (well, Feli painted her own nails whilst Lovina watched, she wouldn't degrade herself to such levels of childish, girly idiocy - Feli said she was too highly strung and stubborn), and one night, Feliciana managed to get them to have those girly chats in her room after midnight.

However, most of the chat consisted of Feliciana gushing about her love for Ludwig and the other fraction consisted of Lovina chastising her sister for falling for such an idiot, as well as covering her ears with her hands and singing obnoxiously so that she couldn't hear Feli when her description of The Potato got too sappy.

"Oh Lovi, he's just so beautiful, inside and out." She would sigh.

Lovina felt close to gagging, her sister truly was obsessed, clearly possessed by some deadly virus that forced her to act like an 11 year old girl after seeing her celebrity crush on the front page of a teen magazine.

Lovina scoffed, clearly offending Feli.

"Lovina! Don't laugh, we're really happy!"

She couldn't help the snort from escaping her again.

"Just because you're a miserable git doesn't mean that I have to be." Joked Feliciana.

Feli clearly hadn't meant to offend her, but that didn't stop Lovina from feeling a little shocked by her sister's cruel and brutal honesty, she laughed with her sister but she still felt slightly attacked, and as the night went on and their conversation kept flowing, all she could think was:

It's called not misery, it's called self-preservation. Protection. Upholding my independence. Maybe you should try it too.

The time came for Feli's departure, and Lovi found it far more difficult than she had originally expected.

It wasn't like they would be apart for long, the next conference that they would hold together would be in a week, but for some reason Lovina didn't want to let go of her sister before she stepped into the airport.

"You'll text me when you get to your place, right?" She asked her sister, and Feliciana nodded.

"Honestly, Lovi," she said, breaking away from the hug, "I'm not 5 anymore, I can fly to the other side of the country without getting in trouble!"

Lovina giggled slightly, watching her sister walk into the airport, trailing a small suitcase behind her.

Just because you're a miserable git doesn't mean that I have to be.

Feliciana didn't know the impact that those words had had on her over the weekend. She kept mulling them over in her mind like a vicious mantra, letting them consume her, chew her up and spit her out at the other side still not knowing how she felt about it.

Getting back into her house she slumped into the sofa, burying herself into cushions and blankets.

Maybe I am miserable.

At that moment she realised that if everything went how she had planned, she would not have any human contact for a week before she saw her sister again.

She had planned the following week to be a mixture of reading and TV, perhaps a little cooking if she felt like doing anything.

Her eyes snapped open, her mind coming to a conclusion.

It's like a lesser form of self-harm, closing myself off to the world when other people desperately want in. I desperately want people to come in.

Feliciana was so happy, something Lovina was jealous of. She didn't care what the rest of the world thought, simply her own satisfaction with the dysfunctional life that was handed to her. Lovina was never that brave.

Lovina would never go so far as to say that her life was miserable, but she was never satisfied. She hardly even knew what the word meant. She lived her life day in and day out, and after hundreds of years worth of days she had quickly settled into the routine.

Yet it was so unrewarding.

Something had to be done.

So without even thinking she turned on her phone, opening messages, for once not thinking about the consequence:

Are you still on for dinner sometime? Just maybe, not forcing you or anything.

She pressed the send button as quickly as possible, careful not to lose her newfound bravery.

She immediately got up from the sofa, leaving her phone on it and opened a book, losing herself in it for the next few hours, too terrified to look at the phone to face the rejection that she knew was going to come.

Antonio wouldn't want to go on a date with her, why would he, she was mean and cold? He was obsessed with the idea of her unattainability, once she had thrown herself at him he would throw her away like she was scraps.

Yes. That was definitely what would happen.

Yet when she heard a 'ping' coming from the phone only a couple hours later, she couldn't help but pounce at the phone with such enthusiasm that you would have thought that he was sending her the cure for cancer via IMessage.

Antonio: I thought you would never ask, meet me tomorrow at 8:30 ;)

Oh how the mighty have fallen, she was going to willingly go out with him.

So why couldn't she stop herself when smiling and laughing.

She could be happy like Feli, she knew she could, she just had to give it a try.

AN/ I have literally read like two stories for Spamano before so I don't know if I portrayed them right, they're not really an otp of mine but I think that they're cute af so I just had to write this.

Oh and ps. Halfway through when I was writing this I realised that this story completely fits with the song 'The Mighty Fall' by Fall Out Boy, so yeah, go listen to it if you haven't already because it fits so much it's crazy.

I don't know why this took so long to write, I knew that I wanted to do a Spamano one next and I had loads of stupid ones that I got halfway through writing and then decided were crap. For example I had one set in a school and if you thought that it could have been good think again, it was terrible and made no sense ahhh. But seriously though, sorry this took almost a month, I'll try to upload more frequently from now on!