Sweet like jasmine

Chapter 7

XxxxxX

Hi!

Thank you so so much for the amazing reviews! I've tried hard to update this chapter as soon as possible. I haven't proof read this one as much as I should have, so there might be some mistakes.

This chapter is full of memories and is well on its way to give you more answers I've tried to give you all the answers to your questions, but the chapter got way too long. Hope you'll like it nonetheless.

XxxxxX

"Wait, can you repeat that? Caleb said stunned. His hand motionless in Hanna's hair now. What did you say?"

Hanna turned her head around that was still in his lap, facing him now. A look of total distress on her face. As soon as she looked at him with her big watery eyes which were full of worry, Caleb knew instantly he had heard her correctly and didn't need the conformation anymore.

"I think I'm pregnant." Hanna said in a small voice, a fresh stream of tears falling from her eyes.

Caleb reached for her and pulled Hanna onto his lap, hugging her tight to him as she kept on sobbing. He brushed her hair softly and made shushing noises in order to try and calm her down although his own heart was racing and his mind was numb. They sat like that for a while, Caleb needed a copious amount of time to process what Hanna just told him. Eventually, Caleb pulled back to look at Hanna and cupped her head in between in hands, making her look at him.

"Hanna, please listen to this and listen to me carefully." He started bravely although he didn't feel brave at all. Whatever happens, if you are pregnant I promise you we will work it out. We will find a way to make this work Hanna. I know this was not in our plans and you are probably just as scared as me right now, but I love you so much and whatever comes our way, we'll deal with it together. I will always be right here. You know I would do anything for you."

Hanna let out a breath and looked at Caleb's fiery and loving gaze. His speech and the way he was looking at her right now made her feel safe and she brushed her hands over his, which were still cupping her face. His thumb grazing over her cheeks to wipe away the tears before his face came closer and he placed a gentle kiss on her lips.

"So what do we do now?" Caleb asked her uncertainly as soon as they pulled apart, his arms still around her in a tight hug. Not ready to let her go. "Do you need to take a test or do we wait for the doctors appointment tomorrow?"

Hanna looked at him and thought for a moment. Was she really ready to find out? Was she ready to know if their future would be altered forever? All Hanna wanted to do was crawl into her bed and pretend all of this never happened.

"What do you think we should do?" She asked him.

"I think we should go to the drugstore now and find out Han, I'm sure we won't get any sleep tonight if we don't know anything."

"Do you think we will get any sleep if we do find out?"

Caleb looked at her long and hard. "Hanna, how certain are you that you are...pregnant?" He asked swallowing hard, hardly being able to get the words out of his mouth now the word pregnant was so full of meaning and probably life changing for the both of them.

Hanna looked down and averted her eyes now. She had feared this question ever since she blurted out the truth. She finally looked back up at him, a slight fickle of fear noticeable in his eyes.

"I have had doubts for like a week now." She said honestly.

"A week Hanna?! You dealt with this for a week and didn't tell me?"

"Well at first I wasn't sure and….

"And now you are? What makes you so sure?"

She looked at him with a weird look on her face and a small smile formed on her lips. "Really Caleb? You made a doctors appointment for me because you felt like something is wrong with me. Surely you've noticed some changes. I only realised it last week because I was at the drugstore and passed the tampons and it reminded me that I hadn't had my period for a long time."

"How long is a long time?" Caleb asked shocked.

"I think I missed it twice."

"Twice?! Hanna how can you miss that?" Caleb now shouted indignantly.

"Caleb I have been busy! She shouted back and got off his lap and started pacing around the room. We had that Christmas with our families and then I went straight back to work because of the fashion show. I didn't even have time to sit, let alone think about my stupid period."

"Oke I'm sorry alright." Caleb said, standing up as well and pulling her towards him, hugging her close to him. Now he felt stupid for making her feel bad.

"Why don't we just go to the drugstore now so at least we'll know something. Then we'll have the doctors appointment tomorrow and have you tested again if that is what you want." He suggested, kissing the top of her head.

Hanna nodded her head in agreement. Hanna moved to the hallway to get her coat, her hand on the doorknob when she looked back and saw Caleb standing in the same spot where she left him.

"Caleb? What is wrong?" She asked, moving back to where he was still standing with a far away look on his face.

"If you are saying you may have missed two periods, are you saying you got pregnant over Christmas?"

"Yes." She said softly, knowing exactly what he was getting at as she watched a smile creep on his lips. She was horrified when he actually chuckled.

"Caleb I know what you are thinking about, she said in a warning voice, and I do not find it funny at all."

"Who said it was funny, I was just remembering that night and.."

"I know you where, Hanna cut him off. But we need to get to the drugstore."

XxxxxxxX

"So which one do we need?" Caleb asked her standing in the drugstore overlooking all the different choices of pregnancy tests.

"I have no clue." Hanna said.

"Hey guys, what are you doing? A familiar voice called out right behind them, making Hanna and Caleb jump and turning around to face their new found friend.

"Agnes!" Hanna squealed in a high pitched voice.

"Hi guys, Agnes said cheerily, what are you guys up to?" Craning her neck at where Hanna and Caleb were standing. Her eyes grew big and she moved her hand over her mouth when she saw what they were looking at.

"Noooooo!" She shouted in surprise and before either of them could reply she flung her arms around Hanna and Caleb, squeezing them hard. When she finally released them both Caleb and Hanna were flushing profusely.

"Oh my lord you guys congratulations! She said in a loud and excited voice, have you guys been trying a long time?"

Hanna felt her heart sink at Agnes's words. How could she actually believe they had planned to have a baby now. How could Agnes even think that. Hanna was still in school, and when she was not on school or studying, she was working hard at her internship trying to get a name for herself in the fashion industry. Hanna's heart sank thinking about her situation and she bit down hard on her bottom lip trying to keep the tears at bay that threatened to fall from her eyes. Was she supposed to just give up on her dreams? Even as a little girl she had dreamed of working in the fashion industry, working amongst the glitz and glamour and living in New York. Never, Hanna realised, had she ever dreamed about becoming a mother.

Hanna and Caleb had arrived back to their apartment. The walk back had been filled with a tense silence. Hanna was only partly aware of the tension between them as her mind had been so occupied with worry about her situation, future and the possibility of making a heartbreaking choice. Not to mention having to talk to Caleb about this.

Hanna walked towards their bedroom without being fully aware of what she was doing and sat down on the bed, staring into space. She could feel Caleb sitting down next to her, his arm pressed against hers, but it didn't bring her out of her daydream. Not until Caleb placed his hand on her upper leg and squeezed it gently did Hanna snap out of her own thoughts. Calebs words broke the silence.

"Hanna, are you sure you are ready to do this?" Caleb asked, his voice croaking and full of emotion. Hearing Caleb being so emotional caused Hanna to break down completely as she was no longer able to hold back her tears.

Hanna let them run freely and laid down onto the bed, curling up into a ball and hugging her legs towards her chest. Her body shaking as the tears flowed freely now.

"Oh Hanna, Caleb sighed lovingly and moved towards her, lying down on the bed with her, facing her and hugging her close to him as best as he could, stroking her hair in an effort to calm her down.

Hanna unwrapped her arms from around her legs that were still pressed against her chest and crept closer to Caleb, pushing her face into the sweater he was wearing that happened to be his favorite and smelling his cologne mixed with the intoxicating smell that was Caleb. His smell, the soft fabric of his sweater, the steady beating of his heart and his strong arms around her never failed to comfort her.

"Caleb, Hanna started in a small voice. Caleb I think I'm ready, I think I am ready to find out."

"Ok Han, he answered in a small and restricted voice. He got off the bed and pulled Hanna with him. She slowly climbed off the bed and walked over to the small dresser where Caleb had left the big assortment of pregnancy tests they had bought. Do you want me to come with you?" Caleb asked.

Hanna looked up at him with sad eyes and smiles weakly. "I know I have peed in front of you on occasion, mostly drunken ones, but I rather do this in private." Hanna said and accepted the cup Caleb handed her and disappeared into the bathroom.

Caleb was waiting on the bed when he heard the sounds of the toilet being flushed and Hanna came back out of the bedroom, her eyes searching for his. He gave her a look of encouragement although he had never felt more anxious in his life. In about 5 minutes he would know if his life would change forever. Although he had never planned to be a father at such a young age, he couldn't stop himself imagining being a family with Hanna the moment she told him she might be expecting. If it hadn't been so unplanned and had Hanna not been so distraught by the idea of being pregnant, Caleb might have been able to give in to his feelings of careful optimism about this situation.

"Why are you smiling?" Hanna asked, seeing the small smile across Caleb's lips. Apparently he had not gone a good job of hiding his true feelings.

"Just… you are beautiful, that's all." He lied easily.

Hanna didn't react to his kind words. She was feeling too agitated to do anything. Dread overtaking her as she thought about the possible results, eying all 6 tests in front of her that Caleb had unwrapped whilst she was in the bathroom and dipped all of them in the cup one by one and placed them back on the dresser. When she was done with the last one, she placed a towel over the tests, in order to keep her from freaking out by staring at the tests. Hanna tensed up when she felt Caleb coming up from behind and wrapping his arms around her waist. He backed off when he felt her tense under his touch and sat back on the edge of the bed.

"How long does this take?" Caleb asked, not knowing what else to say.

"3 to 5 minutes, it says on the package."

"Do you need me to set an alarm?" Caleb asked

"Already did, Hanna said shortly, sitting down opposite Caleb in the comfortable armchair and pulled her legs up to her chest once again. Staring at her nails as she contemplated how to tell Caleb what she needed to get off her chest, before the results were done.

A strained silence fell over them as Hanna struggled with her feelings whilst Caleb watched her pained expression. He knew there was something on her mind and he wasn't sure if he wanted to find out what it was. However seeing her so distraught and close to tears, he decided to speak up, scared of what she might say.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

Hanna did not want to talk about it, she just wanted to disappear into a hole and pretend this wasn't happening. But she needed to get this off her chest.

"Caleb I don't want to have a baby." Hanna blurted out, her confession followed by instant tears from Hanna that she tried to hide by placing her head on the top of her knees and wrapping her arms around herself.

Caleb was momentarily stunned by her confession. Sure this wasn't in the plans, but he had never imagined that Hanna didn't want to have kids.

"What do you mean by that?" He asked, wanting to make sure he heard her correctly.

"Caleb, I'm still in school, I'm having a hard enough time juggling exams, and with the added stress from my internship Caleb. I can't deal with.. with even more stress. Not to mention this apartment is tiny, even with only the two of us."

"Hanna, Caleb started in a pleading voice. I could start working from home, I'm already setting up my own business and we could move to a bigger place. There are actual houses in Brooklyn you know. We can figure things out."

"I would never move to Brooklyn." Hanna said decisively.

"Fine, we'll stay in Manhattan and find a bigger place, I'll work from home, we could even hire a nanny so you can finish school, but Hanna please think about what you are saying, are you seriously considering other options?"

Hanna paused for a moment, staring at Caleb. His expression desperate.

"I am."

"Hanna!" Caleb said in a loud voice, angrily running his hands through his hair.

Hanna could tell Caleb was getting angry now. "Are you saying you would actually consider not having it?" He looked at her hard and soon found the answer in her silence.

"Wow, he breathed out. Sitting back on the bed against the cushions and running his hands over his face, not actually believing his ears. Before he could say more Hanna's alarm on her phone went off. Caleb stayed where he was, still fuming from Hanna's confession.

Hanna looked at him pleadingly not wanting to find out by herself, but Caleb shot her an angry look and shrugged his shoulders. "What does matter if you're not going to have it anyway?" Caleb shot at her angrily but regretted his words instantly when he saw the hurt look on her face.

"I guess t doesn't." Hanna spat back and reluctantly walked the few steps towards the dresser. She picked up the towel that was draped over the tests and stared at the them. She could feel Caleb's eyes boring into her back but she pretended she didn't notice. Hanna looked at the tests and took in what they meant. Unable to do anything else as the reality hit her, Hanna walked out of their bedroom without looking at Caleb and slammed the door behind her. As soon as the door closed behind her tears ran down her face. She needed to get out of the house, away from reality, away from Caleb, away from it all.

Caleb was still sitting on the bed, stunned by Hanna's reaction and too scared to move. He sat there for a while, too stubborn to move. Eventually curiosity took over and he moved from the bed towards the dresser. He glanced at the tests and let out the breath he didn't know he was holding.

"Pregnant" It said on one of the tests, another showed two blue lines and yet another said +6 weeks with a smiley face behind it.

"Fuck." He breathed out and left the apartment, determined to find Hanna and fix things between them. He knew full well where he could find her.

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Hanna was still on the couch, not willing to move for the rest of the day. She was feeling lethargic and for some reason sentimental. Surely it had something to do with Caleb's cologne that was still hanging around her like a warm hug.

She sighed and looked at her phone which she unlocked and quickly found a folder in her phone she had hidden from Jordan all this time. It had been ages since she had looked at the photo's. It had always been too painful to look at them, but tonight Hanna needed nothing more than feeling close to Caleb.

Hanna opened the folder and scrolled through the photo's of her and Caleb. She had gotten a new phone when they moved to New York and the first photo in the folder was of her and Caleb on the way to their new life in New York. They looked so happy and excited there, they didn't have a care in the world. Hanna smiled at the memory.

Hanna kept scrolling and stumbled on even more photo's and video's of the day they moved into their tiny apartment. Then there were a lot of photo's of that weekend they had off together and had a tour around New York seeing all the sights and acting like tourists. Doing silly poses around the many landmarks, more photos and selfies followed of an always smiley Hanna and Caleb. Some photo's of Hanna's new university, Caleb's office, parties, Hanna and Calebs new friends, holidays, visits to Rosewood, the drive back to New York, homework, loads of dresses from her internship and many more. Hanna got lost in the photo's of their journey so far when she eventually stumbled upon the photo's from that Christmas. Hanna swallowed hard when she scanned through the photo's. There were loads of photo's of her with Caleb, her mom and Ted and the four of them, followed by their Christmas in Montecito with Caleb's mother, stepfather and brothers. Hanna had taken loads of photo's of Caleb with his family, wanting to create as many memories for him as she could. In between the family shots there was a selfie of her and Caleb, she remembered taking the photo when they stayed in the guesthouse. That night their lives had changed forever.

Hanna locked her phone, not wanting to see the photo's that followed after that night and leaned back onto the couch letting out a long sigh. She contemplated taking a walk, but whenever she took a walk in New York she would always wind up at the same spot. Annoyed with her indecisiveness she sat up on the couch and contemplated calling her mother, but then she remembered her mother would probably berate her for not having called Caleb yet.

Hanna sighed again, fully aware she could not get away with not calling him. Not after everything he had done for her. She picked up her phone again and found Caleb's number.

Surprisingly it only rang twice before Caleb picked up. "Hey Hanna! He said cheerily, are you okay?"

"Now why would you think I am not okay?" Hanna chuckled at his concern.

"Well you are calling me, I thought something might be wrong. It's those damn instincts." Caleb said in a loud voice as Hanna heard a lot of noise on Caleb's end of the call. It sounded like he was entertaining.

"Is this a good time to call?" Hanna asked him uncertainly as someone whooped loudly in the background.

"Sure why?"

"Sounds like you are entertaining, are you staying with friends?"

"So what can I do for you Hanna?" Caleb asked her, skillfully evading her last question and walking outside into the garden for a little more privacy.

"Eehm, well my mother made me promise that you had a place to stay for tonight, seeing as I didn't offer you a place to stay, so I thought I should find out if you actually have a roof over your head tonight.

Caleb chuckled genuinely, "Typical Ashley Marin." He said. I'll call her and tell her that I am fine and get her off your back."

"I'm sure she would appreciate it and so do I."

"Happy to help."

"Thanks Caleb, Hanna said. And before she could think straight she said. Do you fancy having breakfast tomorrow?"

Caleb was taken aback by Hanna's abrupt question, not sure if he even heard her correctly. He didn't think Hanna wanted to be near him more than she had to.

"Breakfast?" He asked incredulously.

"Yeah, Hanna started reluctantly, I mean, only of you want to, you don't have to say yes, I was just thinking that…" She rambled. Glad for the interruption Caleb offered.

"Hanna, since when do you eat breakfast?"

Hanna let out a nervous laugh. "Well I meant brunch, but it's still my first meal of the day, so it counts as breakfast."

"Sure Han, I'll have breakfast/brunch with you. Do you have a place in mind?"

"No not yet, but can we meet at our spot and see where we're going from there?"

Hanna said in a small voice, knowing full well Caleb knew where she meant with "their spot."

"Of course, 11 sound good?"

"Sounds great Caleb." Hanna replied

"I'll see you tomorrow then."

"See you tomorrow."

Hanna hung up and threw herself back into the couch. Why had she just blurted out an invitation to Caleb. She knew Caleb had been on her mind a lot ever since he had dropped her blocks away from her apartment, but what was she going to do? She had been so mean and blunt to him on their way to New York, that she wasn't sure how she was supposed to act around him now. All she knew is that she missed him more than she cared to admit and wanted to see him. She just wasn't sure what she was going to say to him once she came face to face with him.

XxxxxX

It wasn't long before Caleb had found her wandering around Washington Square park like she always did when she needed some space or he had angered her for some reason. Lately Caleb had made a stop at the teashop on the way to the park to bring a large cup of steaming hot jasmine tea for Hanna as a peace offering and it always seemed to calm her down.

Even though Hanna had been upset when she left the apartment, Caleb still stopped at the teashop on his way to the park and brought her a large cup of jasmine tea, he even bought one for himself whilst Agnes from ""just my cup "had rambled on about the health benefits of jasmine tea and the natural calming effects it had.

If he ever needed calming down, it was now. Caleb had still not processed the discovery of Hanna being pregnant, or the fact that it had been during Christmas she had gotten pregnant. Why had he been so stupid? It was all his fault, if he would have kept it in his pants he wouldn't be here and looking for a very upset Hanna who had been distraught upon finding herself pregnant a mere 30 minutes earlier.

Caleb had lost sight of Hanna so he walked towards the arch, knowing it was one of Hanna's favorite views in the park. As he approached the arch he spotted a blonde sporting huge sunglasses on a bench close to the arch and started walking towards her.

"Hey" Caleb said, sitting down next to her, handing Hanna the tea. However hanna stayed silent. Caleb looked at her but Hanna just stared ahead of her, doing her best to ignore him. She was still mad at him for what he had said.

Caleb knew he had upset her by reacting the way he had, but on the other hand he was just as upset with her for not wanting to keep the baby. He had a say in the matter as much as she had. Being the father of the baby.

"Hanna, if you're not going to say anything, that's fine. I understand that you are upset and scared and I know I shouldn't have said those things to you. I'm really sorry for the things I said, I was just shocked and hurt, but I need you to hear me out." Caleb said, looking at her from the corner of his eye. She was sipping her tea and had not interrupted him, so he kept on going.

"Hanna first of all I am so sorry, I am so sorry for getting you pregnant, I really feel like it is all my fault. No wait, it is all my fault." He corrected himself.

"I know how you are feeling and know that I am just as scared and anxious as you are. I have no idea how to even process all of this and as much I want to be there for you and make everything better, I need you too Hanna. I need you to look at me and acknowledge me and tell me everything will be okay." Caleb moved on the bench so he was facing Hanna now and placed a hand on her knee.

"Hanna please, Caleb begged and reached for her sunglasses so he could look at her properly. He was relieved when she let him take them off and he finally got to look at her. Although he could have done without the sad look in her eyes.

"Hanna, I know this wasn't in our plans and I know that the future you are working so hard for, seems like something you need to give up on now we find ourselves in this situation. But you don't have to, the two of us can work this out and I am certain we will work this out, but please think about this before you make final a decision, because when you do, remember that you are making that decision for the both of us and.. Caleb swallowed hard before continuing. And despite having a baby now was not how I would have planned our future. If I was ever was ever going to have a baby, it was going to be with you."

Caleb was happy to see that during his speech, Hanna's gaze had softened and towards the end her eyes were brimming with tears. He reached for her face when a tear ran down her cheek and wiped it away. Hanna reached for his hand that was still lingering on her face and placed it on top of his, squeezing it reassuringly. She intertwined her fingers with his and placed their hands in her lap. Running her thumb over his hand.

"Caleb, I am so scared." She said in a shaky voice, finally breaking the silence.

Caleb let out a breath of relief, happy she was finally talking. Happy she felt the same way.

"God Hanna, so am I, I have never felt more scared in my life." He breathed, leaning back onto the bench, slightly relaxing and pulling Hanna close to him. Hanna who happily accepted his gesture, cuddled up close to him and breathed in his scent which calmed her down instantly.

"Caleb?" Hanna said in a muffled voice because her face was buried into his sweater.

"Yes Hanna."

"Are you sure this is what you want? You know keep the baby?"

"I haven't been more sure about anything in my life." He said as she finally relaxed in his arms.

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Thank you so much reading and for all the kind reviews on the last chapter, it really keeps me going.

So I want to write a chapter about the christmas Hanna got pregnant, but it will be very high T rated or even M rated, so let me know if that's something you think I should do.

Next up, Hanna and Caleb have brunch and finally an answer to all of your questions.