Sweet like jasmine

by Janethewriter1

Hanna stops being kind towards Spencer when she keeps bugging Hanna about her feelings for Caleb. Hanna does need to figure out how she feels about Caleb, but she needs to do it in her own time. What will she decide, what will she do and why is she so obsessed with jasmine tea? Picks up during 7x05 Haleb story! Rated T/M for later chapters.

8. My everything - part 1

Hi!

Thank you for still being with me. I had a crazy few weeks and this chapter was so so hard to write. I was planning on making it more T/M rated but in the end it didn't fit the angst filled moments at all, so I had to alter a LOT.

This chapter consists of two parts, because it is getting way too long to be one chapter. I hope you enjoy the first part. Part two coming soon.

XxxxxxX

Chapter 8 - Part 1

My everything.

Hanna woke up very early that morning. She thought for a moment why she had woken up feeling so giddy and nervous, until it suddenly hit her like a ton of bricks that only yesterday she had been crazy enough to invite Caleb to brunch later that day.

Hanna groaned loudly, frustrated with herself and ran her hands through her hair, pushing her head back into her pillow. She lay in the bed for a moment staring at the ceiling. "Oh my God! What am I going to do, what am I going to say?!" She whispered to herself. How was she going to act around Caleb now and why had she told him to go meet her at "their" spot. She wasn't even sure how she would feel when she went back there, although being there with Caleb might be easier than being there by herself.

Hanna swallowed hard as even more memories came flooding back to her.

XxxxxX

"How are you feeling?" Caleb asked Hanna gently as they waited nervously in the waiting room for their first ever appointment with the midwife.

"Okay I guess, I am just nervous, I don't really know what's going to happen." Hanna said, entwining her fingers with Caleb, who brushed his thumb gently over her hand.

"That makes two of us." Caleb laughed nervously.

A comfortable silence fell over them, both lost in thought about what was about to happen.

"Hanna Marin?" A friendly looking nurse called into the waiting room and Hanna jumped out of her seat, walking towards the nurse. She looked back where Caleb was still sitting in his chair, running his hands nervously over his legs.

"Caleb, are you coming?"

"Am I supposed to?" Caleb asked uncertainly.

"I want you to, Hanna said kindly, and you are supposed to," holding out her hand for Caleb to hold, which he happily accepted. Walking into the room together.

Hanna and Caleb had sat through half an hour of questions about their health, their family's health, how far along they thought they were and their plans for the future. Hanna could have sworn she had felt Caleb's face heating up when the midwife had asked them when they had conceived.

"So how about we go and have a look at this baby?" Susan, the midwife asked Hanna and Caleb in a excited voice, guiding Hanna towards the bed that stood behind a curtain. Hanna hopped on and laid down on the bed. Caleb sat down on the chair that was next to the bed.

"Would you mind pulling your shirt up a bit love?" Susan asked Hanna kindly as she busied herself with the ultrasound system.

"Now this might be a bit cold." Susas told Hanna, as she squirted some blueish gel onto the transducer.

"Wow, for someone who thinks she's at least 2 months along, you are not showing at all missy." Susan told Hanna whilst staring at her flat belly.

"Is that a good or a bad thing?" Hanna asked her tentatively.

"Well, it does happen with younger women, they tend to show a bit later, but don't be surprised when one day you wake up and you're properly showing. It can happen very fast." She said as she pressed the transducer onto her belly, making Hanna jump a bit because of the old gel.

"Now let's have a look at baby….?" She asked, looking between Hanna and Caleb. Caleb looked back at her blankly, but Hanna understood what Susan was asking.

"Baby Rivers." Hanna said proudly, meeting Caleb's eye which began to water slightly at her answer. Caleb shot her a thankful smile and grabbed her hand in his. They both looked over at the screen where Susan was staring intently.

Susan turned the screen around so Hanna and Caleb could have a look as well. Caleb stared at the screen intently, seeing something that resembled something like a bean in a sea of black mass.

Susan pointed at the screen. "Hanna, Caleb, meet your little baby Rivers. Susan went to point out the little bean on the screen, explaining to Caleb and Hanna what everything meant and even managed to zoom in and show them the baby's miniscule arms and legs that had already started to form.

"It looks like you are already about 8 to 9 weeks along. I do believe you were right Hanna, when you said you thought you conceived around Christmas." Susan said seriously scrutinising the screen as Caleb's cheeks reddened. I will make some measurements to make sure and calculate the expected date that you might be welcoming your baby, but I assume it will be late September."

XxxxxxX

Caleb and Hanna had been on such a high after their visit to the midwife, they had decided to walk back to their apartment instead of taking a taxi. They wanted to remember and hold on to this amazing feeling for as long as they could. Hanna kept pulling the ultrasound pictures out of her bag, staring at them with a huge smile on her face. It was like looking at a miracle.

Caleb peered at the ultrasound photo's in her hands, he felt a little flutter in the pit of his stomach every time he set his eyes on his son or daughter. Caleb had been more than relieved when Hanna finally had given in on keeping the baby and even more relieved when he saw her staring lovingly at the screen when Susan showed them their baby. Whispering softly how much of a miracle this baby was, squeezing Calebs hand in the proces.

They walked towards the big crossing towards their apartment, when Hanna suddenly let out an excited cry.

Caleb looked at her with a questioning look when he saw her looking at him pleadingly, instantly understanding what she wanted and he groaned loudly.

"Hanna, he moaned. Understanding what she wanted when the tea shop he had grown to resent due to his many visits. He immediately understood this wasn't a battle of wills he was going to win, but he did put up a fight nonetheless. "How can you not be sick of this stuff? You drink it all day and night, I swear you even smell like jasmine these days."

"Caleb, I have cravings, I can't help myself." Hanna said sweetly, making him melt on the spot as she laid her puppy dog eyes on him. Like he could ever say no to her.

"I thought cravings were only for food, not this weird herbal Jasmine tea that you only want from this particular shop."

"Agnes sells the best tea and I like her."

"You like her because she is the only one who knows we are expecting." Caleb said slightly annoyed as Hanna pulled him into, just my cup.

"About that, Hanna started, but was cut off by a very enthusiastic Agnes who greeted them cheerily rubbing her long fingered hand over Hanna's stomach the moment they stepped inside, a broad smile on her face.

"Oohhh, I keep telling you guys, there's a little girl in there." Agnes informed them, rubbing Hanna's flat stomach enthusiastically. "Hellloooo Bubba…" Agnes continued to talk to Hanna's stomach as in greeting to their baby, which Caleb found a bit weird.

"I guess we have to wait and see." Caleb said matter of factly but Hanna smiled weakly and said. "I agree with you Agnes. I am convinced it's a girl."

Caleb rolled his eyes which went unnoticed by both Hanna and Agnes.

"So your usual? Agnes asked Hanna when she was done feeling her stomach.

"Yes please." Hanna said smacking her lips.

"And what are you having this time dear?" She asked Caleb.

"Anything but Jasmine tea please." He said seriously as Hanna slapped him playfully on his arm.

XxxxxX

"So what was it that you wanted to talk to me about before?" Caleb asked Hanna, turning to look at her from his side of the bed.

"What?" Hanna asked confused, turning on her side to look at Caleb.

"I told you that you liked to talk to Agnes because she knows we're expecting and you wanted to talk about it."

"Yeah, when do you think we should tell our family and friends?" I know it's going to be a big shock for a lot of people, but I'm not sure I'm ready to tell people yet. How do you feel about it?"

"Baby, I don't really have that many people to tell except for my mom and William."

"I guess that's true, Hanna signed. I think I rather wait till were 12 weeks along, they said the chance of a miscarriage is much less likely after the 12 week mark."

"They do?"

"Yeah, Susan was talking about it today."

"Are you scared of a miscarriage?"

"A little bit, I just want to tell people when I am more certain, besides. I love that we have this little secret between us." Hanna smiled.

"I do too, Caleb concurred, moving his hand over her stomach and staring at it. Gosh Hanna, I cannot believe our baby is in there. Is it weird that I already love him or her?"

"Her, it's a girl Caleb."

Caleb laughed loudly, "Hanna you cannot know it's a girl. It's a 50/50 percent chance."

"I just feel like it's a girl." Hanna said stubbornly which made Caleb laugh.

"What if it is actually a boy?" Caleb asked, not wanting to let go of the chance it being a boy.

"I'd love him just as much, I don't care if it's a boy or girl, I'm just certain it's a girl."

Caleb laughed again and pulled Hanna close to his chest. "Gosh Hanna, you are the weirdest, most stubborn and amazing person I have ever met and I love you so much." He said as he kissed the top of her head.

"Love you more, Hanna said pulling herself up, leaning on his chest and pressing a lingering kiss on his lips. She looked deeply into his eyes when she pulled away.

"What?" She asked when she noticed some wrinkles forming on his head.

"I just had the craziest idea, Caleb said, suddenly with a shy smile on his face.

"What is it? Hanna said excitedly, intrigued by Caleb's shyness.

"Nothing, you'll think it's stupid."

"Caleb, I don't really think anything you say is stupid. Well, except for your idea of moving to Brooklyn."

Caleb sighed, still annoyed at Hanna who was too stubborn to even come with him to the house he had his eyes on. He was not giving up though, one day he would convince her.

"Caleb? Are you still with me?" Hanna asked, thumping him on the chest.

"Yeah, baby, of course."

"So what did you want to say. I promise I won't laugh."

Caleb looked at her lovingly and brushed some of her blonde locks out of her face and tucked them behind her ears as she looked at him expectantly.

"Seeing how your crazy cravings are going through the roof at the moment and you are so convinced that we are having a girl. How about the name Jasmine, for the baby?"

Caleb looked at her expectantly and held his breath as he watched Hanna carefully. He had been thinking about the name for a few days now and it seemed so perfect if they were indeed having a girl. Not only did he like the name, the reference to her cravings seemed like the perfect fit. Even though he hated having to answer to Hanna's crazy cravings at odd hours of the day and night, he was still enjoying every moment of this pregnancy.

Caleb started to worry when he saw Hanna's eyes tear up and he placed a gentle hand on her cheek.

"Hanna , did I say something wrong. I'm sorry if you don't like it"

"Caleb, Hanna started, her voice breaking. I love it, I love it so much. I love the name, it's perfect! She exclaimed kissing him in between happy screams.

"Are you sure Hanna, that you love the name I mean?"

"Caleb, it's amazing, it's cute and it fits us. Caleb, Hanna and Jasmine…. Jasmine Rivers." She added in a dreamy voice.

"Hanna are you sure, I mean, we can still think about it. We have another 7 months to go before we have to decide on a name."

Caleb, I haven't been more certain about anything in my life before. She said sweetly, well only that I love you more than life and there is nothing in this world that could ever change that."

XxxxxX

Hanna snapped out of her daydream and stepped out of the shower. She wasn't even aware that she was clenching her jaw until she wiped the fog off the mirror and looked at herself. Her mascara had run all over her cheeks and she touched her cheeks gently. Hanna stood there, butt naked staring at herself in the full length mirror. She stared at the mascara and noticed her red eyes. Had she been crying, or had it been the mascara that might have gotten in her eyes. She wasn't even sure anymore.

Hanna looked down at herself, it had been a very long time she had actually properly looked at herself. Ever since that day she had refused to look at her body properly ever again, let alone now, whilst she was naked. But now as the memories seemed to flood her head, did she feel brave enough to move towards the full length mirror that was on the backside of the door of the bathroom. She turned her body so that her side was facing the mirror. Her eyes travelled down to her flat and toned stomach. Without purpose, her hand travelled down to her stomach and found the spot where she had touched her tiny growing bump all those years ago. Hanna stood there as she remembered the tiniest flutter her baby had made that very first time. At first Hanna had thought she was just feeling nervous, but when the tiny flutters kept happening all day, she realised it had been her baby. Hanna was shocked when her maternal instincts had kicked in right then and there.

Hanna let out a shaky breath, trying not to cry when she remembered what happened mere days later. She walked back to the sink and opened the cold water tap. She bent forward and splashed a copious amount of cold water in her face. After drying off her face and another deep sigh she walked into the bedroom and looked at the outfit she had laid out earlier. Without much thought she got dressed and did her hair and makeup just the way Caleb liked it.

XxxxxX

Caleb had been nervous all morning. He still wasn't sure why Hanna had invited him to brunch. Up until yesterday she had given him the silent treatment in the car and when she did manage to speak to him, she seemed to be mad at him. Now he was waiting for her near the arch of Washington square park.

He glanced at the watch Hanna had given him for Christmas 3 years ago. He was 5 minutes early, but surely Hanna would be here any minute, she hated being late. He glanced around the park wondering from which side she would be coming. He knew he dropped her off at 77th street, so somewhere from behind the arch. The total opposite from where he came from or where they used to come from whenever they went for a walk, stopping by the teashop for jasmine tea.

Still no sign of a massive mane of blonde hair as Caleb scanned the park again. His eyes fell on the bench that they used to call "their spot." He craned his neck towards the space next to the bench, but he couldn't see if it was still there. Caleb contemplated for a moment. Should he go and check it out or should he wait for Hanna. He wasn't even sure if Hanna wanted to see if it was still there. Maybe someone destroyed it, maybe it would be too much for her. He wasn't sure if she ever went back to it after they had split up. Had she been there when she was with Jordan? Had she told Jordan? He knew they promised not to tell anyone, he had never told Spencer, or anyone for that matter, but Hanna was engaged to the man, surely she needed to be honest with him in order to marry him. Caleb had always visited their spot whenever his job needed him to work in New York. He never cared if his work brought him to Queens, upper Manhattan or the outskirts of New York. He would never fail to end up right where he stood right now.

Just as he started walking towards the bench unconsciously, did a woman in a dark coat and a large mane of blonde curls stop him in his tracks. The sweet scent of flowers and something very familiar stopped him in his tracks before he noticed it was Hanna who stood in front of him.

"Hanna!" He exclaimed maybe a bit too loudly.

"Hey Caleb, chuckled. I'm right here by the way, no need to shout." She joked, breaking the ice in the proces. Which Caleb was thankfull for.

Caleb laughed, his nervousness disappearing rapidly. "I know, you just took me by surprise. I guess I was daydreaming a bit too much." He admitted.

"Something in particular you were dreaming about? Hanna asked looking at him as his eyes fell back onto the the bench. Hanna didn't need to turn around to see what he was looking at. She had understood instantly what he had been daydreaming about. Being back here had brought memories to her back as well. Being back here reminded her that she didn't want to think about it or remember it ever again.

"What is going on in that beautiful head of yours?" Caleb said softly as he studied her face.

Hanna quickly pulled herself together and managed a quick smile, masking her true feelings about being back here.

"Nothing, she lied, I just remembered how hungry I actually am. How about we go find ourselves a place to eat." She said in a cheery voice that didn't fool Caleb at all.

"Hanna, he said with a warning tone. I hope you remember you can't fool me. Don't you want to see it?"

Hanna stared at the floor, not being able to look into Caleb's beautiful brown eyes. Caleb however moved a hand underneath her chin and made Hanna loop up at him. Hanna hated him for this move. Whenever she was forced to look into his eyes, she felt like she was drowning in his gaze, nothing else but him and her existed for a moment and she felt herself nodding to his request to go to their spot.

It wasn't until Hanna was faced with the weathered park bench she had spent so many hours on, many moments when she used to meet Caleb here on their lunch breaks, stew after they had a fight or hanging out together in the quiet of the night when no one was around. Hanna had stopped coming to their spot after she and Caleb had broken up. She had been unable to go there and be reminded by the pain this spot now represented. She let go of the only place that tied them together forever.

Hanna broke out of her reverie and finally looked at the thing she had so desperately had tried to ignore all those years. She didn't need to look at it, she knew it was there. She had smelled it before she had looked at it. The smell, even after all those years had an extremely calming effect on her. Hanna finally let her eyes travel over the plant donned with beautiful little white flowers. It wasn't much bigger than she remembered when Caleb had planted the Jasmine plant in the middle of the night.

XxxxxX

Hanna marked another day off the calendar. Only 9 days to go before she and Caleb would finally make their way down to Rosewood and Montecito to announce to their parents that they would be becoming grandparents. Not only were both Hanna and Caleb looking forward to surprising their parents with the big news. They were also very nervous. Not only was this pregnancy completely unplanned, they had done an early gender prediction ultrasound, with Hanna being ridiculously impatient and found out it was highly likely they were indeed expecting a girl. Hanna had screeched during the ultrasound that she had been right, followed by many happy tears she blamed on her hormones.

"What are you doing?" Caleb asked, walking up behind her and wrapping his arms around her waist, his hands coming to rest on Hanna's small bump. Just like the midwife had predicted, her bump seemed to have appeared out of nothing one morning. Caleb had loved her ever expanding belly, finally having something physical he could see and touch that confirmed he would indeed become a father in September.

"I am counting down the days that we are going away for the weekend. I cannot wait to tell our parents now. It's all I can think about!" Hanna said excitedly.

Caleb smiled at her enthusiasm. Every day he was still thankful that Hanna had decided to keep this baby. The moment she had told him she suspected she was with child, did the image of them being a family not leave his mind. If all things went well and Ashley would take this news well. He planned on asking Hanna's hand in marriage. Caleb smiled at the thought of surprising Hanna with the most beautiful ring he could find and imagined her screaming her head off as she laid eyes on the ring.

Thinking of the ring reminded Caleb of another sparkly thing he had bought for Hanna. He had planned to give it to her on their way to her mother in a few days time, but she would probably become very emotional. He leaned closer to Hanna and moved his hands over her eyes.

"Hey, what are you doing?" Hanna asked in surprise.

"I have a surprise for you, but you need to stay here and keep your eyes closed."

"What kind of surprise?"

"It wouldn't be a surprise anymore if I told you now, would it." Caleb laughed. Now stay there." He called out to her as he sprinted towards the bedroom and quickly found the turquoise Tiffany's box he had carefully hidden in an old shoebox. As he walked back into the living room. He nearly bumped into Hanna. Who instantly spotted the box in his hands.

"Hanna, he sighed exasperatedly, you were supposed to stay in the livingroom and keep your eyes closed."

"Is that from Tiffany's?!" Hanna asked pointing at the box, ignoring his comment.

"Just sit down first and stop staring at your gift."

Hanna nearly fell over in her haste to get back to the livingroom and sat down on the couch staring at Caleb expectantly.

"I really wanted it to be a surprise you know, he said half annoyed half animated by Hanna's eagerness to find out what it was. He sat down next to her, still holding on to the box.

"Now you know I'm not a big fan of shopping and I have never ever imagined myself even stepping into a store like Tiffany's. But seeing as you are worth overstepping my boundaries for, I got you this." He said, looking at the box.

"Now I wanted to give you this on our way to Rosewood, but now seemed a better time, if you hadn't spoiled it with your noisiness." He teased, still holding on to the box.

"So what is it." Hanna asked impatiently.

"Why don't you open it and find out." Caleb smiled handing Hanna the box.

Hanna ripped apart the ribbon holding the box together and opened the lid, followed by a loud gasp "Ohhh Caleb." She picked up the silver chain from the box and held the large silver ball that hung on the end of it, up in front of her face.

"It's called an angel caller, Caleb explained as Hanna stared at the beautiful necklace. The ball will hang off your belly and as you move around and Jasmine will be able to hear the sounds that come from the ball." He explained as he touched the ball slightly and a soft tinkling sound erupted from the ball. "I had it accessorised with an Aquamarine stone representing your birthstone." Caleb pointed out the pendant that hung on the chain next to the angel caller.

He looked sideways at Hanna to see what she must be thinking, as so far she hadn't said anything. It shocked him slightly to see Hanna silently crying, actual tears streaming down her face. Considering the way her hormones had gone through the roof lately, he shouldn't have been surprised. Hanna looked up at him with a tear stained face and finally managed to speak.

"Caleb this is so beautiful, amazing and thoughtful."

"So you like it?" He asked her.

"Do I like it? I love it!" She screamed happily, holding up the chain for him and turning around on the couch. Even though she could have easily thrown the chain over her head, seeing it was so large, he enjoyed the gesture and took pleasure in placing it around her neck. As soon he had closed the clasp Hanna stood up to show him, the soft tinkling sound coming from the ball as she moved.

The ball was hanging low on her tiny bump and they both placed their hands on the bump.

XxxxxX

Hanna had a lazy day, having a rare day off which she was enjoying to the fullest. Only one day left before they would surprise her mother and Ted with a visit and finally telling them about becoming grandparents. Caleb had even called his mother to find out if she would be home the sunday, because he was expecting to meet a client in California and if he had time, they should meet up briefly. He didn't tell her Hanna would be coming along either.

He didn't want to get his mother too excited. Knowing Claudia, she would prepare an over the top feast and make a big deal of them visiting like she had done over Christmas. As Hanna wasn't able to eat a lot and was still struggling to keep a lot of foods down, they had decided surprising their families would be best.

Hanna walked over to the bedroom where she had some presents strewn across the bed. Earlier that week she had bought 4 bibs, two of them saying "my grandma is the best," two of them saying "my grandpa is the best." Even though neither Ted or William where paternal grandfathers, Caleb and Hanna had both accepted the men in their lives and wanted them to be a grandfather for Jasmine.

Hanna hadn't made her mind up about telling her own father Tom. She would tell the most important people first and then deal with her father later. It had been years since she last saw him anyway.

Hanna carefully wrapped the bibs, making sure the words were face up. As she finished up wrapping two mugs with "uncle" on them for James and Clay, she stood back to admire her handywork and moved the gifts on top of Caleb's clothes she had carefully packed in his suitcase. She moved over to her closet to decide what she would pack for their short weekend when her eyes fell on the framed ultrasound picture on Caleb's nightstand and smiled. Even though she had been the one who had doubts in the past about keeping the baby, Caleb had always been sure they would be ready for whatever would come their way and promising her that he was always going to be there, taking care of her and the baby. Whatever it would take. Hanna could feel tears prickling in her eyes again as she thought about Caleb. "Stupid hormones." She muttered.

She sighed and looked at her closet again, rubbing the ever growing bump. She just couldn't deal with packing right now. Her clothes had started to strain around her belly, making anything she owned too uncomfortable to wear, yet her bump was too small for maternal clothes. Or so she was convinced. When Caleb even mentioned that she should look into maternity wear, did she have a massive fit about him calling her fat, followed by an emotional breakdown about the way she looked and stormed out of the house angry and hurt.

It had only taken Caleb a short 10 minutes to find her in Washington square park sipping Jasmine tea on the weathered bench where she apologised for her erratic behavior as soon as he reached her. Hanna smiled to herself, knowing full well how blessed she was with such an amazing and understanding boyfriend. With the thoughts of Jasmine tea and Caleb still fresh in her mind, she decided to abandon packing her suitcase and go over to see Agnes and buy some tea.

She had nearly reached the hallway to grab her coat when she felt something warm trickle down her legs.

"Nooooo way!" She muttered to herself. She knew pregnant women could sometimes have bladder problems, but she thought that would be much later in pregnancy, surely now now. She looked down her black jeans, thankfully you couldn't tell she just wet herself., but still embarrassed Hanna walked back to the bathroom to change. She reached the door of the bathroom when she felt another wave of something warm trickle down her legs, yet this didn't feel like wetting herself at all. Her stomach lurched and the hairs on the back of her neck stood up. She knew this feeling, it felt like she just gotten her period. She rushed the rest of the way to the bathroom, yanked down her pants and underwear at the same time and nearly fainted when she saw her blood soaked underwear.

"Noooo!" She yelled out, although no one heard her. "Noooo no no noooo!" She yelled as the tears came fast and hard.

"Please nooo, no this can't be happening!" She sobbed, leaning her hand against the wall for support and sitting down on the toilet, feeling like collapsing. She looked down between her legs and could tell she was losing even more blood. Going into survival mode in between sobs Hanna grabbed a sanitary towel from the back of the cupboard and held it in between her legs as she kicked off her jeans completely and moved around the apartment, rushing to her phone to call the midwife.

As soon as Hanna had been able to rely the message to the midwife through hysterical sobs, did she urge Hanna to come in for an appointment as soon as possible.

As soon as she ended the call, did she call Caleb. She cried even harder when it went to voicemail. She didn't have the heart to leave him a message, what would she even tell him. Desperation washed over Hanna and her mind was racing, hoping against hope this wasn't what she thought it was. She called Caleb once more whilst she put on a fresh pair of panties and jeans whilst holding the sanitary towel in place, although she didn't dare look at it.

The call went to voicemail again. "Dammit!" She shouted loudly, frustrated she couldn't reach Caleb when she needed him most.

She remembered he had left her a emergency number she was only allowed to use in an absolute emergency. She never even saved it to her phone. Never expecting it to need it. She walked over to the couch and laid down as she searched for the contact number in their whatsapp history. Luckily she found it swiftly and shakily pressed call.

It only rang once when she was greeted by a sweet and soft female voice, which informed her to what company she was calling, the department, that her name was Georgia and finally asking how she could help Hanna.

"I need to speak to Caleb Rivers." Hanna said through tears, which started again when she thought about actually speaking to Caleb.

"And to what may I say it's regarding dear?" Georgia replied sweetly.

"Please, it's….. It's regarding an emergency. A family emergency, I need to speak with him urgently."

Georgia had clearly picked up on the urgency in Hanna's voice, as her demeanor changed instantly. "Just hold for a moment dear, I will call him." She said confidently. Hanna was met with music that was supposed to calm you, yet it only angered her now because she wasn't able to hear what was going on on the other end of the line. For a moment she considered using her work phone to call the number again and shout at Georgia to take her out of hold, but the train of thought was suddenly interrupted when the music stopped and a nervous sounding Caleb started talking on the other end.

"Hanna?! Hanna, is that you? Georgia said it was an emergency and…"

"Caleb please come home now… I'm bleeding...and..."

"Bleeding?! Caleb shouted, Hanna are you okay? He dropped his voice to a whisper yet the nervousness in his voice was still loud and clear. Are you bleeding down there? Is everything okay with the baby?"

"Caleb… Hanna howled. Caleb, I lost so much blood and I… I don't feel good at all. She started and tried to find her voice again in between sobs. Caleb I think I'm losing the baby…. Caleb… Jasmine.. And.."

"Hanna! Hanna!" Caleb shouted, he could hear in between the sobs Hanna was getting more upset by the minute. Hanna please just sit down and I'll be there soon. Please try and calm down, I'm on my way now baby."

Caleb was already out of his seat and running out of the office before he could even think, before he could comprehend what Hanna had told him. All he knew is that he had to get to Hanna fast, whatever it would take.

Within 10 minutes Caleb burst through the door of their apartment, rushing into the livingroom where he stumbled upon a distraught Hanna. With one stride he was next to her and scooped her up into his arms where she finally broke down completely.

XXXXXX

When they arrived back to the apartment, everything was different, quieter, darker, empty.

It was like the world had kept going but theirs had stopped. Caleb silently escorted Hanna back into their apartment, lost in his own thoughts and fighting the ever growing feeling of all consuming loss when the midwife's words kept on playing in his head.

"I am so sorry, there is no heartbeat."

Hanna had clung onto him for dear hope before they heard those words. As soon as the midwife had spoken, it seemed as if Hanna had retreated into her own world, staring into space, silent tears running down her cheeks. No longer evidence of a spark in her eyes or a trace of her dimples which always appeared with the slightest smile.

In a way, Caleb was glad Hanna had retreated into her own world, as the next words Susan spoke were so damning, technical and hurtful, he hoped for dear life Hanna had not registered them.

"It is possible the bleeding with continue for a while, after seven days you need to take a pregnancy test. If you are still testing positive you have to go to the hospital to have the pregnancy surgically terminated."

Caleb had walked aimlessly into their bedroom, still holding onto Hanna who let him guide her to the bed. She laid down onto the bed and Caleb tucked her in, sitting down next to her as she lay on her side, still staring blankly into space. Caleb looked at Hanna, or rather the shell that was left of Hanna, his heart filled with sorrow as he stared at her grief stricken face. He touched her cheek gently, however it didn't yield any response. He looked at her for a while, brushing her hair slightly as she kept staring out of the window. Eventually her eyes grew heavier and she finally closed them, with Caleb still sitting beside her and stroking her hair. Caleb sat there for a while, looking at Hanna, trying to keep the tears at bay and make sense of what just happened to them. Caleb remained sitting by her side for an hour, completely stunned and unable to move. He looked down at Hanna again and touched her cheeks gently, wishing they could start this day all over again and changing the course of the day. When he knew Hanna was fast sleep did he finally let his tears run freely, not even bothering to wipe them away.

He got up angrily, angry at the injustice, angry that Hanna was going through so much hurt, angry that Hanna had closed him off, angry at the injustice of it all. He got up from the side of the bed, glanced once more at Hanna and left the apartment. Grabbing the angel caller he had given Hanna mere days before, on his way out.

XxxxxxX

Hanna and Caleb stood there for a while, staring at the Jasmine plant, a symbol of the continuous presence of their baby in their hearts. A symbol to remember her existence even if it was a fleeting one, a place to remember her. Although Hanna had never been able to face it up until today, there wasn't a day Jasmine didn't cross her mind. Hanna felt Caleb stir next to her, suddenly becoming aware of their close proximity. His shoulders were pressed close to hers and to her horror she realised her hand was in his. She didn't even remember joining hands with him.

She moved her body deliberately, moving her hand from his, in the proces. Caleb seemed to snap out of whatever he was thinking about, his eyes dropping to her hand and up to her face.

"Gosh I'm so sorry Hanna, I didn't even realise what I was doing."

"It's fine, Hanna smiled weakly, I don't remember it either." She admitted and sat down on the parkbench. Caleb soon followed her, still sitting close to her even though there was a lot of space.

"Thank you for meeting me here, Caleb finally spoke after a moment of silence. I wasn't sure if you ever, you know. If you wanted to come here, I don't even know If you ever came here again after…You know."

"I didn't." Hanna admitted.

Caleb slowly turned his head to look at her, his eyebrows raised. "You never went back here?" He asked incredulously with a hint of anger in his voice, but he soon learnt that was the wrong thing to do.

"Why would I?! Hanna shouted angrily, all this place does is remind me of what I lost." Hanna said stonily, angry tears running down her face as she crossed her arms.

"But we planted it together to remember Jasmine by. I just assumed you'd come back here."

"Is that where you went? Whenever you left the apartment? Did you go here?"

"I did end up here most of the time yes. He said sadly. But I never left you." He replied.

"I always came back Hanna." He added in a whisper.

"You came back whenever you wanted to come back." Hanna snapped, clearly still stung by the memory.

"At least I didn't leave you forever." Caleb said, regretting the words as soon as they left his mouth, like he wanted to hurt Hanna as much as she had hurt him.

"So we are back here are we?" Hanna asked, clearly offended by his words.

"Hanna I think we will always end up back here."

"And where is here?"

"Here is where our end started" Caleb said stubbornly. He didn't mean it, of course he didn't. But remembering all those times he had been here and Hanna never ever showed up still angered him to this day. This had been their spot, their happiness, their sadness, their lunch breaks, their stolen kisses, their Jasmine, their laughter, their petty fights, their make ups and once, something that didn't just stop with kisses.

Hanna let out a deep sigh and stood up. "Ok then, she said, the hurt very evident in her voice. She buttoned up her coat up to her neck and looked at Caleb and said. "You have a nice day Caleb."

"Wait what, are you leaving?!" Caleb asked, standing up as well.

"You've made your point clear didn't you Caleb? Unable to suppress the anger that was building inside of her. But her evident anger, only seemed to fire up Caleb even more.

"Hanna, you left me! You fucking left me without warning, you wrote a bloody note saying "I can't do this anymore" and that was it. You can't just give up on someone like that because you can't deal with life for a while. I know it was hard for you losing Jasmine, but have you ever thought about how hard it was on me, losing her? I know you felt guilty and sad and you were grieving. But the both of us lost our baby, not just you! Just because you carried her doesn't give you entitlement to shut me out and grieve on your own, you should have let me in! If you would have let me in, you wouldn't have left and I wouldn't have nearly lost my job. I wasn't just grieving, I was waiting for you to come home day and night. I was waiting for you to come to your senses and return to me. Every single day for 3 weeks when I saw a blonde walking past, my heart flipped thinking it was you, every time I heard a noise in the building, I thought it was you coming back. Everytime my phone rang, I thought it was you calling me to make it all better." Caleb let out a heartless cackle and scoffed before continuing.

"It took me a full 3 weeks to realise you actually left me fr good and that you were never coming back, that you moved on."

Hanna looked at the ground, unable to meet Caleb's eyes, which she knew were full of tears and anger anyway. She could hear it in his voice. She had been so selfish she never had taken the time to realise how hard things must have been for Caleb. How much she must have hurt him by leaving. At the time she had thought she was doing the right thing, she thought she was doing him a favor by leaving. All she could do at the time was cry, eat, sleep and snap at him whenever he tried to take care of her. She didn't feel like she deserved a boyfriend like Caleb, she was only bringing him down. She thought if she just left him, he would be able to move on.

"Caleb, she said in a soft voice, moving closer to him and finally looking up into his face that was still full of sadness and hurt. Caleb I am so so sorry. I only left because I felt like I was dragging you down. All I did was mope, cry eat, sleep and pick fights with you. I didn't deserve a guys like you, I wanted you to be happy."

Caleb let out another small humourless laugh. "I thought you knew Hanna, you were always my happiness."

"Were?" Hanna asked, not missing the past tense of his words.

Calebs lips formed in a tight lipped smile as he looked down. He grabbed her hand in his, and moved hers up to his face. His eyes on her fake engagement ring. "You are someone else's happiness now." He said, his eyes moving from the ring to stare intently into her eyes

Hanna could feel herself crumble underneath his intense stare. Something that never failed to make her knees weak, not even after all these years.

"So what happened?" Caleb asked her suddenly and Hanna was shocked by his bold question. Did he know about her and Jordan breaking up?

"What do you mean?" She managed in a stutter.

"With the ring, he said, nodding towards it. I mean the first time you flashed that audacity in my face, it nearly blinded me. Caleb joked. Now it looks like you tried to scrub it clean with a cleanser and you used the wrong one."

Hanna only managed a half smile, the realisation of the reason why they were currently in New York together crashing down around her. Should she tell him? He told her about his break up with Spencer and she did feel better when she finally told her mother and Emily about her and Jordan. Hanna decided this was the time to finally tell Caleb the truth.

"Look Caleb, there is something I need to tell you…"

XxxxxX

So there you have it. The first part of this chapter. The second part should be posted within a week or so I'm still finishing up. If there is anything you'd like to see in the 2nd part of this chapter let me know. I'll try and include it.

I haven't forgotten about the Christmas chapter! It's coming.

And again, thank you all so much for the enormous response I received after the last chapter.