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"Why do I have to drink this gross stuff again?" Asriel scrunched up his nose at the vial of purple liquid that Alphys held.
"The stabilization gel helps to prevent your artificial soul and body from breaking apart," she explained as Frisk packed a pair of small paper bags with snacks, busying herself while humming a little tune. "I know it's unpleasant, but you have to drink one every twenty-four hours, at least until your artificial soul has had time to acclimate and bond with the body."
"It's still gross," Asriel downed the vial and shuddered.
"Think of it as medicine," Alphys patted him on the head. "It will make you better."
Alphys paused when Frisk pulled at her sleeve.
"Yes?" she blinked. It always managed to surprise her that the girl had grown almost as tall as she was in the last year. "What is it, Frisk?"
"Do you know when Uncle Sans and Papy are coming back?" she asked, staring up at her. Alphys had a strange look in her eyes for a few moments and took a second to clean her glasses before answering.
"I'm positive that they'll be finished with their... errands soon," she said without confidence.
"So does that mean we don't have to go to that dumb parent teacher conference thing?" Asriel asked hopefully. "Because I've been to those as a flower and I can guarantee that they are just as boring as watching paint dry."
"They aren't all that bad," Flowey passed him the paper bag filled with sliced apples and honey. "We get to talk and play with the other kids while we're there, and no schoolwork!"
"How is it that there's a parent teacher conference at the same time the queen was called away for a meeting...?" Alphys mused aloud. Frisk and Asriel shared a look and shrugged.
"Well," Alphys clapped her hands together, glancing out the window as a bright red sports car pulled up the drive. "Guess that's my cue to leave. It was nice seeing you guys."
"It was nice to see you again too, doctor Alphys," Frisk hugged her warmly with a smile.
"Remember to take the stabilization gel regularly!" Alphys turned to Asriel, who was pulling at the sleeve of his sweater and looking uncomfortable for some reason.
"I got it, I got it," he stared out the window at the approaching skeletons in the rain. "I don't wanna wind up like your failed experim-"
His jaw slammed shut, but it was already too late. Alphys blushed deeply, her head hanging in shame.
"S-sorry," he rubbed his elbow awkwardly. "That came out wrong."
"No, no-" she shook her head. "Forget about it. Just, please, forget about it."
"That's all anyone can do," she jumped at the sound of Sans's voice directly behind her. "Just try to forget and move on."
"Uncle Sans!" Frisk cheered as she tackled him around the belly, nearly knocking him over. "You're back, you're back!"
"I'm back."
"... Where did you go?" Frisk looked up at Papyrus, who was adorned with a large square medical patch over his right eye, covered with multiple layers of tape. "What happened to Papy?' Is everything okay? Did something happen?"
"Don't worry, little one," Papyrus picked her up and swung her around as she giggled madly. "Everything is perfectly fine, the Great Papyrus can survive anything!"
"Dude," Asriel was staring at him in mild shock. "Are-are you sure you're alright?"
Sans opened his mouth to answer, but Papyrus beat him to it.
"Just a little accident is all," Papyrus answered swiftly, his discomfort showing. "But now I'm right as rain! Which we currently have plenty of."
Frisk giggled and Asriel hid a small smile behind his hand.
"Papyrus," Sans balked. "You-you just made a joke."
"The Great Papyrus never jokes, kids, joshes or riddles," Papyrus shook his head, holding up the car keys. "Now, if I'm not mistaken, we have a parent teacher conference to attend!"
"You sure you're up to it?" Sans asked as Alphys politely excused herself with something about finishing her work that Sans didn't quite catch, setting off into the rain. "You'll have to put up with Helen. I mean, you don't have to go-"
"Does that mean I don't have to go?" Asriel pointed to himself. "I mean, I'm not technically enrolled-"
"I will be fine, brother," Papyrus answered a little more softly, placing a hand on the shorter skeleton's shoulder. "Just trust me, everything is going to be alright. I promise."
Sans shook his head slowly but forced a little smile.
"If you say so, Paps. If you say so."
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The drive to the school was uncharacteristically quiet.
Papyrus kept his one good eye on the road, occasionally swerving but not veering too far off course. Sans sat staring out past the busy windshield wipers, distracted by something. Neither Asriel or Frisk could bring themselves to break the awkward silence. They eventually arrived miraculously without incident, and the four walked in single file up the concrete sidewalk toward the public school that Toriel taught at. Sans felt a pang in his chest to know that she would be gone for the next two days, suddenly feeling very strapped for time, but he pushed it to the back of his mind.
"Alright, you kids go have fun," Sans gently pushed Frisk and the nervous Asriel toward the group of chattering children in one of the classrooms. "Me and Paps won't be too long."
"Pinkie promise?" Frisk held out a single pinkie, which he wrapped his bony pinkie around with a grin.
"Pinkie promise."
"Then I'll go introduce Asriel to everybody!" she dragged the blubbering Asriel away toward the group of curious human children. Sans chuckled and shook his head, slowly shuffling off toward the room where the parent teacher conferences were usually held, dragging his slippers as he did so. Papyrus took long strides to match his short ones, walking slowly to keep pace.
"... Sans," Papyrus's voice felt muffled despite being in an empty hallway.
"What's up, Paps?" he replied without looking up.
"You didn't have to scare the living daylights out of those policemen."
"They aren't going to pull something like that again, now are they?" Sans asked darkly, and Papyrus rubbed the patch over his eye.
"I-I'm sure they didn't mean anything they said," he said uncomfortably as they walked, his voice low.
"Doesn't matter whether or not they meant it. They said it anyway. They hurt you, Papyrus."
"I-I know, but..." he tapped his fingers together, frowning. "They can't help the way that they are, just like we can't help the way that we are."
"What do you mean?" Sans glanced up at him to see an odd expression on his face.
"Most humans are very simple, Sans," Papyrus sighed. "They... they attack what they don't understand. They aren't intentionally cruel, I'm sure of it. They're just insecure and frightened by things larger than they can contemplate, and sometimes physically lash out in meager attempt to minimize their fear."
Sans stared up at Papyrus, his jaw hanging open.
"... Paps, that's... wow," he ran a hand over his head. "You got kinda deep there."
"Sorry," Papyrus chuckled, straightening his back and grinning. "You're starting to be a bad influence on me. Can't go getting philosophical when we've got a meeting to go to, nyeh?"
"You're a good person, Paps," Sans patted him on the shoulder with a small smile. "Never let anyone tell you otherwise."
"... Thank you, Sans," Papyrus wiped something from his good eye, beaming. "That-that really means a lot to me."
"Alright, whaddya say we get a move on before we get too mushy?" Sans asked, propping open the door for his brother.
"Oh, fantastic," Sans heard Helen's voice before he saw the redheaded woman. "And now the skeleton is here, this just couldn't get any better."
"Why, Helen, if I didn't know any better I'd say you missed me," Sans held a hand to his chest.
"Greetings, humans!" Papyrus bellowed cheerfully to the small group of five women all cluttered around a circular table with, much to Sans's surprise, the king of monsters himself seated directly beside Helen. "It is I, the great Papyrus!"
"Your majesty?" Sans asked dully, his brain not in the mood to process what he was seeing.
"Oh! Good morning, Sans," the deep baritone voice of the king rang throughout the room, drawing all eyes to him. "It it good to see you again, my friend. We have not spoken in too long."
"Ditto," Sans nodded once, taking a spare seat beside his brother at the table between an auburn haired woman with her hair in a bun and the same blonde woman that had left the room laughing at the last conference that he had attended. "What brings you here?"
"Helen and I are dating."
Sans did not seem to have a reasonable answer to that statement. Nobody did. Or at least, none that were polite.
"So... at least you're finally starting to get over your irrational fear of monsters," Sans clapped his hands together. Helen's face turned the color of beets, and it was dead quiet. Nobody seemed ready to pick up where they left off.
"I even miss anything fun?" Sans asked, folding his hands neatly before him as Helen shot him a look of pure death.
"You can not wear that to our parent teacher meetings," Helen jabbed a finger angrily at Sans, and he checked his shirt.
"What's wrong with my shirt?" Sans blinked.
"It isn't appropriate for school functions, or anything for that matter!" she scowled. He glanced downward at his shirt with the imprint of a bone on it with bold lettering underneath reading check out my boner.
"Sorry, Helen," Sans zipped up his jacket without a hint of remorse. "Didn't know my boner was making you so uncomfortable. I have that effect on people."
And so, the jokes commenced.
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A/N
I've been super sick lately, sorry it took so long for the chapter. Next one should be up soon!