This chapter – pretty much like all York chapters at this point (love to pick on my favorites I suppose!) was a tough write. I hope I get everything across well, though!
Special thanks to the support of analiarvb, freshzombiewriter, washingtonstub, rorsy, Yin, and secretlystephaniebrown from AO3 and tumblr!
New Jazz Age
Chapter Eight: Little Soldier Boy
York isn't sure how he manages it, but he doesn't sleep a wink the entire time he's got North draped over him, snoring softly in exhaustion. Instead he just stares blearily at the ceiling instead.
There's lots of noise in his head, noise that doesn't really originate anywhere or from anything. Echoes of battle, of laughter he misses, of parents and recruiters proud or happy to hear his decision to become a soldier. The field medics telling him the bad news. Then the field medics telling him the worsenews.
He's gotten used to the noise, arguably more than he should be getting used to it. So really, it's the newer thoughts that are keeping him awake over the white noise.
What did Theo mean exactly about his brother's accident? How is York going to continue to contribute if he can't keep a job? Why doesn't he get over it and get himself a license already? Who the hell is he even living with if they don't know the first thing about each other?
The house they got together – the second chance they got together – is full of tension and anger that York isn't confident dealing with.
So when he hears the door creak open and he knows that Carolina is moving around the room, York thinks that this is the opportunity they need.
All three of them in a room together, discussing the recent events, getting to the bottom of the discourse, mending some bridges, kiss and makeup.
He just needs to get up, stop Carolina, and wake up North.
After all, York is the catalyst here. He knows that.
But he can't bring himself to move. He can't bring himself to speak.
One whole night of wakefulness and anxiety, and loneliness most of all, and York can't seize the opportunity presented to him on a silver platter.
Instead he just sinks further into the bed, further into thoughts and silent anger and guilt.
Carolina finishes her sneaking around and walks out of the room, and never once does York so much as wave to her.
Then when North's alarm goes off and he begins his morning routine after untangling from York, York doesn't even help remove his limbs from the other man. Nor does he try to pretend his eyes aren't open and awake.
North gives him a confused look as he sits on the edge of the bed, reaching for the underwear and pants on the floor. "You alright?" he asks, voice steeped in suspicion.
"Wonderful," York sighs loftily, melting further into the mattress. "Going to sleep in a bit, though. Long day and stuff yesterday. Got me off my sleeping schedule."
North eyes him a bit, regarding him with some sort of fragile concern, before ultimately nodding and walking over to to where his clothes are laid out for the day. "Got any plans for today?"
"Yup," York replies, returning his gaze to the ceiling.
"Any jobs or interviews lined up?" North pries.
The truth is, York has plans with signing Theo out early from school. He saw how miserable the kid was the day before, and he knows as a kid he would've given anything for a "cool uncle" type to sign him out for a day on the town.
And it's not like if York didn't do that, he'd be doing any better on the Great Job Hunt.
"We'll see," he answers instead.
There's a distinct note of aggravation in North's sigh as he continues the rest of his morning. "Just do what you have to, I guess," North says.
He doesn't drill York or demand explanation for his mental state – he's no Carolina – but the distance in North's actions don't strike York with the sort of affection he expects from a man who he's cuddled with the entire night before.
There's a cognitive dissonance to North that drives York up a wall.
"I'll be at school with Theo today," North explains. "I might stop by the hospital this afternoon, though, so keep your phone on you in case you want me to pick you up or something. Alright?"
"Sure," York answers, still stuck to the mattress in a heap.
North hesitates, hovering over the side of the bed like his height doesn't make him looming something straight out of a horror movie. In a better mood, York might even rib him for it.
York feels North's hand on the side of his face, gently running calloused fingers through his hair.
"I'll see you later," North promises more than he says.
"Sure," York replies.
While North lingers for a moment, he withdraws his hand. Then, slowly, he withdraws altogether, leaving York in bed.
York lays slothfully where he's at. There's a drain on his energy that logicallyshould probably be related to his lack of sleep, but physically feels like something altogether.
He can hear the sounds throughout the house of cooking and getting ready and the soft tones of people speaking even if it's hard to make out who the voices belong to or even what precisely their words are supposed to be.
What's less difficult to discern is the front door opening and closing just beneath Carolina's room. That he can figure out almost immediately. And even if there is a shadow of a doubt about it, he can hear North's car starting up.
For the first time since he's settled in the bed, York feels ready to sit up.
At first, that's as far as he makes it, sitting with just the sheet partially over him, groggily staring holes into the wall across from him, running his hands numbly through his hair.
It doesn't feel like reality around him. It feels…
Wrong, but that's not really accurate. Not really. Because wrong implies that something – anything – has felt right in the last several years. And that's about as untrue to York's feelings as telling everyone he's fine.
Once his thoughts are all together, York looks to the alarm and sees it's only eight thirty, and his exhaustion still doesn't seem to be translating to actual sleep.
His promise to Theo – picking him up from school and giving him the cool uncle of most kids' dreams – is still fresh on his mind, but he knows taking the kid too early is going to just earn the ire of North and probably mean more paperwork for Theo later.
Which leaves the question of just how York is going to pass the time.
He starts with taking off the sheets from Carolina's bedding and heading downstairs, gathering everything he can to clean at once.
It's a start. It's doing something. And it makes him feel just the tiniest bit human again.
It's half an hour to noon when York shows up at the elementary school. North's not on the playground which means that there's actually a solid chance he has no idea that York is planning on signing Theo out.
Which can mean that this is either ending in a riot or in a bunch of angry phone calls. That at least inspires York enough to use some extra smiling charms on the secretaries that North is constantly talking about while he makes sure to sign in great, big letters his name on the checkout sheet.
"I think it's wonderful that you two are helping your roommate so much with her family," the secretary says as she takes back the clipboard from York.
York hesitates for a moment.
Roommates. He wonders if that's really how the other two explain the situation to their coworkers.
It's never really been a situation he's had to deal with.
"Really, North's been the champ in all of this," York says fondly instead. "We're lucky to have him."
There's a curious glean in the secretary's eyes as she leans in a bit toward her computer and begins typing something up from the clipboard.
For a moment, York begins to feel anxiety closing back in on him, that creeping tiredness he's not addressed yet right on his back, but it all gets interrupted.
"York!" Theo's voice calls from an office door behind the secretary's desk.
Smiling brightly, York looks to him. "Hey! Ready to go? Got some plans."
Theo skips a few steps on his way over to York but by the time he's next to the veteran he's returned to a cool and calm demeanor which makes him shrug slyly at the offer. "Yeah, I guess."
"Alright, good," York nods to himself before glancing back to the secretaries. "Thank you, ladies!"
He ushers Theo out the door and is heading down the sidewalk when he notices Theo takes a sudden and unexpected left towards the parking lot.
York stops in his tracks and looks in confusion at the kid. "Hey. Where you heading?" Theo turns and looks at York. "We've gotta stop by the grocery store first. This way."
For a moment, Theo almost looks like he's going to follow without comment, but he tilts his head instead. "Aren't we driving there?" he asks.
"No?" York scratches at his head.
"Oh my god," Theo groans. "Caroline was telling the truth. You don't have a car."
Feeling more than a little awkward, York rubs at his neck. "Well, your sister's not much of one for joking so… yeah."
Trudging forward, Theo passes a glance toward York. "You guys are all soweird."
Finally getting back on their path toward the grocery store, York laughs and pats Theo on the shoulders. "Yeah, well, just think of us as setting the bar of achievement really low for your generation. When you start paying taxes later on, you'll thank us for making you feel so good by comparison."
The walk to the grocery store isn't something novel by any means – on foot it only takes about three minutes from the school. York should know, he walks it enough. But it takes them nearly three times as long with as many times as York is stopped by people from the town.
There's always a story or a question about his wellbeing or an offer to have him do some more odd jobs.
York stops each time appreciatively. About the only times his smirk is not forced is when he's being clapped on the shoulder where his military patch sets proudly over chipped leather. They're decent, fine people – old and ragged for the most part. Walking around the dying shopping district out of habit and boredom more than any sense of convenience that the mall twenty minutes away would provide.
This he likes. It feels better and more welcome than the angry scowls and heavy accusations his dress earned him after honorable discharge, in the months at his parents' apartment in the city waiting for the sluggish pace of the military to release what was left of his soul from their trials and reviews.
Before the military, York couldn't imagine a world where people stopped him on the streets to chat as opposed to brushing by and continuing their days.
Now it's all he never realized he wanted.
At first, Theo's annoyance at being stopped is apparent. By the third time he's almost ready to keep walking without York. By the fifth, he looks at York with fascination.
"Everyone knows you," Theo marvels once they finally reach the grocery store parking lot and make their way to the entrance. "Everyone likes you. It's weird."
"Wow, you really must be a Church if you find kindness so off putting," York snorts in return. He immediately rubs at his face and lets out a sigh. "Sorry, that's uncalled for. I've got a harsh sense of humor. City boy at heart."
Theo tilts his head and smiles a bit. "You have met my sister, haven't you?" he asks skeptically. "All we know is snark."
"Point," York says.
He stops by the carts and grabs one, shoving it over towards Theo. The preteen watches it sail by him and hit a wall.
"Oh, come on," York says, grabbing his own cart.
"You wanted me to get it?" Theo asks, walking over to the crashed cart. "Sorry, I didn't know what you were doing."
"I'm strange and mysterious, so I guess that's really my fault," York jokes, leaning over the handlebar to his cart and raising a brow at Theo. "But, yes, I want you to push your cart. Where else are you going to put the items on your list?"
Theo steers the cart around and gives York an incredulous look. "You want me to do all the shopping, too?"
"Not all of it," York replies, producing a crumpled up list from his pocket. He stands upright for a bit and rips the list in the middle, giving Theo the latter half. "See? We'll get done twice as fast. And last one done has to pay. How's that sound?"
Squinting at York, Theo shakes his head. "I don't have money, though!"
"Eh, we probably have about the same amount," York replies nonchalantly. "But I guess you better get done pretty fast if you want me to have to worry about where to pull the nickels and dimes from." He chuckles mostly to himself as he begins to cross the entrance's threshold. "Better get going!"
With a look of complete concentration that looks remarkably like his sister, Theo reads over his part of the list before ultimately looking over to York and racing to him. "Wait! York! I don't think you want me to have this side. Switch me!"
York hesitates momentarily. He knows for a fact that he gave Theo the shorter half of the list. "No take backs, Kid."
There's a distinct blush dusting across Theo's cheeks as he holds up the list to York. "I don't want to get condoms that big. People will look at me weird." He then tilts his head in thought while York feels his face heat up. "Actually they'll look at me weird no matter what size. So you do it."
For a moment, York just stares at the list in Theo's hand a bit disbelieving. But heat slowly spreads across his cheeks and into his ears before a slight feeling of panic takes over.
Why is he so damn bad at this!? How can one be so bad at kids?
York grabs the other end of the list and groans before stuffing them both in his pockets. "You know what?" he asks. "Game's over. I think we should just walk around the store together and chat instead."
Theo offers a sympathetic nod before pushing his cart back to the rest on the rack. "Okay."
"And your sister doesn't learn about this. Like, ever," York continues, pushing his own cart forward once Theo is by his side.
"Would she care?" Theo asks.
"Probably," York shrugs. "I don't really know. I think the general rule with children is that we're not supposed to be flaunting, like, condoms and sex andstuff around them until they're like. Thirty, right? That's when it's okay?"
"I'm almost twelve," Theo reminds York, his face flushed despite his bravado. "I know what some of that stuff is."
"What, really?" York marvels, though he can't even think to recall his own life five years ago, let alone almost two decades before. Maybe he was as worldly as Theo?
They stop in the first aisle and York looks through the cereals. "Any of these you like?"
Theo nods, eyes distant with thought.
For a moment, they stand there, waiting on the other, until it occurs to Theo that York's comment doubled as an invitation to grab what he wants. He does so almost shiftily, grabbing Frosted Flakes, holding it close, and then hesitantly slipping it into the cart.
Once Theo settles back by York's side, still distant a distant look to him, York gets them moving forward again.
"Alright, you've got something on your mind," York says calmly. Internally he wants to kick himself – of course the kid has something on his mind with everything that's happened. "Is there anything I can do to help?" he adds hastily.
Those bright green eyes turn on York almost immediately. "I think it's going to be rude," Theo cautions.
That earns a laugh from York. "Yeah, well, maybe it's just the New Yorker in me, but I find most questions in life usually are rude. So go for it."
At first, it doesn't seem like Theo is going to take him up on the offer, but he then turns his full attention on York after checking that the aisle is empty. "Are you gay?"
York blinks a few times at the question. He's been expecting lots of questions about Theo's fate at their humble abode, about his brother in the hospital, even just questions trying to understand Theo's allusive sister.
This is something a touch different.
"Ah," York forces a laugh.
"It's just… you and North were in the same bed last night," Theo points out.
"You're pretty observant," York jokes. He hums a bit, tapping his fingers against the handlebar of his cart. "Is… this going to be a problem?"
"No," Theo says quickly. "It's… cool."
But Theo's face is the furthest thing from okay. York's heart sinks slightly at the curl of the kid's nose and frown.
"But you were using Caroline's bed," Theo clarifies.
York feels slightly uplifted. "Oh! Ha, okay, had me worried there for a moment," he exhales. "But, yeah, I can see how that'd look… bad. Or confusing. Or whatever. But don't worry, your sister totally knew we'd get in her bed with her. I mean, she has the biggest bed."
His words are more than a little rambly and nonsensical, he knows that just looking at Theo's reaction.
"We're… Okay, I'm not gay as in I only like guys," York attempts to fully answer. "I do like guys. I like North a lot. But I like girls, too. I like your sister a lot. You don't really have to… choose."
For a moment, it seems like his words are falling on Theo's ears as utter jibberish. But the kid slowly nods through his obviously confused expression. "Oh, okay," he answers instead. "I guess. I mean. I get it. Ellison's talked about bisexual before. But…" His expression grows a touch more judgmental. "You like my sister and North?"
"Well, yeah," York replies. His words then come rushing back to him and he realizes that perhaps polyamorous might be a bit more difficult to explain thanbisexual to a kid who apparently already knows what condoms are. "We're… together. All three of us. At the same time."
Theo's head cocks to the side. His face is difficult to read and York feels panic clawing at the inside of his chest again.
Carolina or North would have been much better for explaining this to Theo. York wants to kick himself as hard as possible – he's certain he's messed this up somehow. He doesn't even know how, just that he definitely has.
But Theo continues to surprise him.
"Are you guys happy?" Theo asks curiously.
York blinks a few times, leaning heavier on his cart. "Are we happy?" he parrots.
"Yeah," Theo presses, tugging at his bookbag's straps.
And that's a loaded question. York isn't even sure when he stopped asking himself that, he just knows it's been long enough that it slightly tilts him off his axis to hear it.
But it's one that deserves an answer.
"I'm pretty much only happy when the three of us are together," York answers with such brutal honesty that it adds to the weight of his chest. "Carolina, North… they make me happy. Both of them." Then, voice growing stronger, York looks directly at Theo. "I love them."
The twelve year old nods slightly. "But is it weird?"
"Maybe for other people," York jokes before shrugging. "I mean, it's notcommon."
"It's okay," Theo says. "My dad and my mom… I don't think they loved each other. And that's normal. So maybe it's better to be happy and not normal." He glances down the aisle. "My brother's not normal, but he makes me happy. I'm way happier with him than I was with my mom." He nods. "So I think I got it."
"Yeah?" York asks.
"Yeah," Theo replies, glancing back to York. "Shouldn't we keep shopping?"
"Definitely," York replies, pushing the cart forward.
North's texts that afternoon seemed to insinuate that he isn't exactly happy with the two playing hooky, but considering he ends them by informing York that he's going to stay with Carolina at the hospital for a while, he considers it a bit of a success story.
Theo is less thrilled that they carry their groceries the entire way home.
"Why don't you have a car?" Theo asks as they at least reach their neighborhood.
"I have a car. Your sister drives it," York answers dodgily.
"Why don't you drive?" Theo presses, voice teetering between genuine interestand absolute boredom in a way that York suspects only preteens are truly capable of portraying.
York bobs his head a bit with the thoughts, trying to think of the most concise way he can word the answer. He just can't tell if his answers are PG now or PG of the eighties.
Which is quite a difference.
"I was in a really bad accident," York answers. "I can't drive now… I don't know why."
The answer is something that either of his partners would have paid good money for him to admit out loud just a week ago. Why it's so easy to say to a wide-eyed youth is completely beyond York.
"Oh, okay," Theo replies, glancing down the road.
They're at least on the right street at that point.
Theo looks back to York before he's fully ready to move on with the conversation, but he doesn't seem aware of the struggle just beneath York's surface. "Hey, York? Do you think my brother's going to have trouble with cars after he wakes up?"
York grimaces. "I hope not," he answers truthfully. "It's damn inconvenient." He stops in his tracks and throws back his head with a groan. "Noooo. Not eighties PG. C'mon."
He's surprised when he hears Theo laughing.
"It's okay," Theo assures him. "I'm a Church. Everyone talks dirty around me."
Squinting, York continues leading them home. "Hey, that's all well and good for you, kid, but keep in mind that I have to answer to your sister and our very uptight-about-kids teacher of a boyfriend. Gotta be on my best behavior around them."
Raising a brow at York, Theo takes the lead once they're able to see their house. "Why?"
"Don't want to disappoint them," York replies with a far too casual shrug. "It's complicated and all in my head. Don't worry about it. Once you've dealt with hormones for a few years you'll get really familiar with nonsense and junk in your head."
Theo turns on his heels and nods. "Like Ellison?"
Confused, York just follows Theo up the driveway. "I'm not sure what you mean."
"Ellison, my brother," Theo answers.
"No, I know who he is. I guess I'm just confused what you mean."
"He's got junk in his head, too," Theo replies. "He takes medicine for it. You'd get along with him."
York feels his chest clench up again. "I think I understand what you're saying now, Theo," he replies, getting ready to unlock the door. "Is that what you meant about your brother not being normal?"
They grow silent and York regrets pressing Theo too much for information.
"I think you can live with junk in your head," Theo finally says. "But I think it's harder."
"It is," York agrees. "It really is."
He opens the door and the subject is dropped in favor for putting away groceries and making a meal for two.
York has questions for Carolina now, but until she and North are back he's ready to move on to the next subject with Theo.
And he's almost happy about it.