Attempt #5

If anyone had been present to witness Merlin's face, it would have been impossible to deny that the Great Warlock Emrys, who - as promised - was polishing the knights' armors with his incredible magic powers, currently possessed the expression worthy of a very grumpy child.

It wasn't like he didn't have every reason to! The task itself might have been laughably easy with magic, even if it did require concentration. Not every sorcerer could levitate five brushes at the same time. But it wasn't the chore that made Merlin sulky. Arthur, the King of Prats, once again failed to see reason and believe that his manservant was a sorcerer, despite being repeatedly told to his self-absorbed face.

If this was the foreshadowing of things to come, Arthur was going to declare Merlin officially insane once he tried explaining that he was the Most Powerful Sorcerer of All Time and the Last Dragonlord to boot.

Merlin sighed hopelessly.

This is ridiculous, he thought with irritation, causing the flying brushes to collide in mid-air. They've arrested me for sorcery before, several times! It's not that hard to believe that I'm magic, is it?

Admittedly Arthur wasn't among those who actually believed those charges, but still. Morgana had magic, right? And she used to be Uther's ward, she was, like, the least likely person in Camelot to develop the skill beside Arthur and Uther himself! So what was the big deal? Anyone could be magic!

"Even these are magic right now!" Merlin spoke aloud, glaring at the enchanted tools as if they had committed personal offence. "Ordinary inanimate objects! Arthur's throne could be magic, his fruit-stand could be magic - hell, even his sword, which I forged for his ungrateful arse is triple-damn-magic!" He growled with frustration. "There is so much magic in this God-forsaken kingdom I wonder how anyone can believe they're free of it! But nooo, 'Don't be ridiculous Merlin, of course you don't have magic, you're too much of an-'"

A loud crash interrupted his angry rant, making all the brushes clutter against the floor. "Huh?"

Merlin looked outside the window. In the middle of the courtyard, there was a man wearing a dark cloak, cursing at the spilled bucked he apparently just tripped on. Merlin was about to call out and ask the stranger if he was alright, but the words stuck in his mouth when the man's eyes suddenly glowed.

A magic-user, Merlin thought incredulously as he watched the spilled contents return into the bucket. A sorcerer. Using magic. In broad daylight?!

The man, completely unaware of the eyes on him, fixed his cloak in an offended manner and continued on. Merlin quickly looked around in disbelief but the guards, who were standing less than thirty feet away, acting as if nothing happened. The cloaked figure quickly disappeared behind the corner.

Wait a minute.

Mysterious character never seen before... check.

Suspicious choice of clothing... check.

Enchanted guards... check. (...or perhaps they were just incompetent. Not very surprising.)

Sneaking around with obviously malicious intent... check.

Sorcerer... covered face... arrogant confidence... check, check and check.

Merlin groaned.

"Can't I have just one day?" he complained to the sky. "One day free of foiling obnoxious assassination attempts? Is it too much to ask for?!"

It didn't take Merlin long to catch up the sorcerer. Except, he wasn't alone. As if this day wasn't lucky enough, there was a whole gathering of sorcerers.

Within the citadel. All eight of them. With all the guards blissfully arrogant to the blatant conspiracy.

Merlin wondered for the hundredth time how for the love of all things Camelot had survived without him for twenty years because it had to be due to divine intervention.

But that wasn't everything, oh no. Apparently this wasn't typical enough, because from what Merlin managed to overhear in the whole two minutes of inconspicuous spying (why do people repeat their plans out loud for anyone to hear in the enemy's territory, anyway?) Ralf the Rancorous and his Ruthless Rangers of Retaliation (were they seriously calling themselves that? Ugh, magic-users had no dignity left these days...) wanted to - what else? - kill Arthur.

Oh, and help Morgana take over Camelot.

How... exasperatingly commonplace.

But at least the strategy was somewhat original, because unlike other intruders, they planned to make themselves invisible (with a powerful artifact which Merlin had never heard of - where do these people find those random magical objects all the time was a mystery in itself) before infiltrating the castle after sunset. Why didn't they do that before entering the citadel, Merlin had no clue, but it was pretty convenient. He remembered reading something about illusions in his spell-book recently and he was sure there was a counter-charm, one which could easily be casted in secret on Arthur and his knights so they could protect themselves from hidden foes.

Satisfied the information and his new-formed plan, Merlin decided to retreat.

But then, of course, everything that possibly could go wrong... went wrong. The guards finally became aware that something suspicious was going on (eight cloaked men whispering in the shadows - nope, nothing unusual here!), but the accusation didn't fall on the men - who turned out to be better at disappearing than Merlin initially thought - because no, that would make things way too easy for the secret Camelot protector.

The one the guards arrested was no other than Merlin.

Sir Leon couldn't help but sigh tiredly, but it was obvious he wasn't surprised.

"Really, Merlin? Again?"

Merlin's lips twisted in a sardonic grin.

"Just another day in Camelot, right?"

Gwaine laughed openly, while the other Knights of the Round Table snickered with little-to-no subtlety.

"But seriously, Merlin," Gwaine said conversationally, as if Merlin weren't being held by two guards with increasingly confused expressions (not their fault really, seeing as they were new on the job), arrested on charge of breaking the law punishable by death, "This is what, the fifth time you've been accused of sorcery?"

"Sixth, actually," the warlock corrected him.

"Well done, mate! I think you've broken all records!"

"No, Gaius told me he's been accused seven times, so not yet."

"Ah, pity. Let me know when you do, I'll buy you a pint."

The guards exchanged disbelieving glances.

"But Sir! This man had been witnessed committing the most heinous crime known in this kingdom!"

"And who is your witness?" Sir Elyan asked calmly.

"Miss Margery, the new kitchen maid."

"The jumpy one?" Merlin spoke with disbelief. "But... that girl is completely paranoid! And you just believed her without any evidence?"

"Quiet, sorcerer! She saw you using magic in the courtyard!"

"You mean the spilled bucket incident? I don't look even remotely like that guy!"

"You actually saw the sorcery take place, Merlin?" Leon looked at him with a risen eyebrow.

"Well... yeah?"

"If that's true, then why didn't you report it immediately?"

"Excuse me if I was too busy following the guy who did it!" Merlin huffed.

"Wait, so you spotted a sorcerer inside Camelot and just decided it was a good idea to go and confront him yourself?"

Merlin rolled his eyes. "It's not like the guards were going to do anything about it."

"Hey, what's that supposed to mean?!" the guard on the right growled angrily.

Merlin gulped. Somehow he had failed to notice that the man had brawn, and lots of it. He almost rivaled Percival's built. Up so close, it was a little harder to miss.

"I, uh, you see, I was just saying..." Merlin stuttered awkwardly.

"Where is that idiotic servant of mine?!"

Suddenly the King himself stormed in, causing the guards to abruptly straighten their backs, jerking the warlock and saving him from finishing his doomed-to-fail attempt of placation.

"There you are Merlin! What was so important that you didn't finish-" Arthur stopped in mid-sentence, finally registering the scene he'd stumbled upon. "What is the meaning of this?"

It was the guards' turn to gulp nervously.

"Guess what, Princess?" Gwaine grinned at Arthur, unperturbed by the King's irritated demeanor. "Merlin here is apparently a sorcerer!"

Arthur just looked at Gwaine blankly for a moment. Then he looked at his knights questionably. Elyan and Percival just shrugged, Leon sighed again. The guards looked more nervous with every passing second.

The King finally turned to Merlin, who smiled like a goof. "Look, Arthur, as much as I actually am a- AUCH!" He yelped as Arthur smacked him on the head. "What was that for?!"

"This has to be the stupidest stunt you've pulled whole week, Merlin, and that's saying something," Arthur replied. "If you think you're getting out of your chores by spending the rest of the day in the dungeon, you have another thing coming!"

"Wait, that's not-"

"Not another word! Now, idiot, go finish your chores like the barely semi-competent servant you're supposed to be while I straight out this ridiculous mess you've made."

"B-but, Arthur, there is a-"

The King interrupted with a stern look.

"Merlin."

"Yes?"

"Shut. Up."

"But-!"

"Ah!" Arthur put a finger on his mouth. "Shut it."

Merlin sighed with resignation. "Yes, Sire."

Arthur's smirk was almost imperceptible, a sign that he wasn't all that angry with his manservant, just pretended to for the sake of appearances. "Good. Now scram, you dollop head."

"That's my word," Merlin muttered sullenly under his breath.

But, there was no use of continuing this argument - not that Merlin actually managed to say anything of importance. It seemed that convincing Arthur of his magic would take a little more of careful planning, but it wasn't on the top of his priority list right now. What was currently the more pressing matter was stopping the Invisible Ruthless Rangers of Retaliation and their Rancorous leader, so Morgana wouldn't take over Camelot.

Oh, and there was still lots of armor left for him to polish... Just wonderful.

Author's Note:

The plot thickens! ...sort of. xD

Oh, how much I love honoring my reviewer's comments! (cough, subtle begging for more, cough) Thank you all for your encouragement and ideas, I really appreciate them!

Thanks for reading, please comment and follow and favorite if you can, but most importantly - read on and enjoy! :)