Oh boy were midterms brutal on my end. I survived them, though, and I really just want to thank each and every one of you for your patience and understanding for the past month – and really the last few months – as being able to concentrate on school and work really did make a huge difference on how all that turned out. And it makes it just that much more rewarding to finally be able to deliver a chapter for you guys 3 I hope it's worth the wait. I can't thank you all enough.

Special thanks to the support of analiarvb, washingtonstub, freshzombiewriter, rusted-nerd, icefrozenover, Yin, locrianrose, secretlystephaniebrown, and notatroll7 from AO3 and

New Jazz Age
Chapter Ten: Big Sister

Carolina is not on the clock when she arrives an hour early for work. Part of her job is to monitor other employees in the lab – make sure they're not working on the clock for overtime and she takes the task with unfounded enthusiasm.

So she isn't on the clock when she is at the hospital for anything other than to do her job. She makes certain of it.

But she comes an hour early all the same.

Ellison is going to be moved out of Intensive Care soon, probably today. It's less to do with his necessary threshold of care at this stage and all to do with the general crowding one expects at a hospital with a certified trauma center.

It should be taken as a good sign, and what's more the times that Theo has been able to stop by, a real light shines in Ellison's eyes that just isn't thee the other times Carolina visits.

She likes to pretend it has something – anything – to do with Ellison's physical recovery. That his injuries and temporary coma has drained him and when their younger brother isn't around he can't muster up the strength to act otherwise.

It's what Carolina keeps telling herself, but it's not what she necessarily believes.

Because she visits – or at least hovers around – Ellison's room at nearly every hour of the day and what she has seen each and every time is a man awake. Defeated.

The kind of man who can't look his sister in the eyes when she sits by his side, even if he doesn't retract his hand from hers.

They sit in solemn silence for a few moments that morning, Carolina looking at the tray of food left untouched.

"Is… there a different breakfast you'd rather have?" she asks gently. "I have some pull. I could get you the good stuff."

Ellison, who seems to find the wall spectacularly interesting, just leans further back against his pillows and closes his eyes. "No," he answers bitterly.

"Fine," Carolina says back, unable to completely remove the bitterness from her own tone. "Your loss. I've made real nice with the cafeteria staff for a reason."

"Then have fun with the cuisine," he snarks.

With a sigh, Carolina releases her brother's hand and, without a parting word, heads out the door.

She puts herself on the clock five minutes early.

By the time shifts begin to change, Carolina has filed everything neatly away and begun to stare blankly toward the wall of her office.

She's ran countless numbers over and over again, even attempted to take a shift from one of the technicians so she could actually use her biology major to some effect rather than continue the work of a glorified accountant. She almostgot through a full ten minutes before the other employees shamed the technician enough for 'taking advantage' of Carolina's supposedly fragile state and had her take back the duties.

Though she continues to find distraction, Carolina continues to think about the snide words her brother had for her that afternoon.

Deep down she's been expecting as much from him for quite some time. Has been more than aware that there's an element to it that's deserved no matter what state brought them together once again.

If she looks at their situation only on the surface, she can pretend that there is a numb acceptance to the boiling anger deep in her brother's soul toward her. That it's not going to bother her because she made her choice a long time ago.

That it's his problem and not hers that he can't see that it was the only way she could have seized control of her life.

But it's a hollow feeling. It's full of excuses that fall flat on her own ears.

So she hovers by the door to his room once more and watches as he fidgets and fits and rubs obsessively at his face. And Ellison – her brother who was a young teen just a blink beforehand – is laid up in bed before her. Alive. Miraculously.

"Hey," she finally says, her guts twisting into knots all the while.

Ellison looks up and sees her. There are rings under his eyes that aren't from his injuries but from lack of sleep. He never slept much as a kid – neither of them did. It's something their… father protested.

The more things change.

"You're back?" Ellison asks, immediately suspicious. "Where's Theo?"

"I told you before," she answers calmly, coming into the room, "He's in school. He's been staying with us."

"Us," he repeats in a snort, fidgeting more. "Your roommates?" he asks, the tone not lost on her.

"Watch it," she warns temperamentally. "Don't say something you're going to regret."

"Whatever," he replies, rolling his head to one side against the over fluffed pillows. "It's just ironic, is all. Daddy's favorite–"

"Don't you call me that," she snaps, stepping further into the room. "How can you possibly call me that after everything we all went through."

"Because it's true!" Ellison snaps. "Oh, poor Caroline! She gets ignored. She gets disapproving looks. Not like just down the hall there were the kids he actually hated. Not like there's any kids he actually, literally hurt!"

Carolina stares at her brother, her jaw squares and teeth gnash tightly together to keep her chin from belaying its quiver.

"I left because I had to, Ellison," she says lowly. "I left because I didn't have a choice. And I was sorry for it for too long. If I let myself be any more sorry about it, it was going to kill me."

"It did kill someone," Ellison growls back. "You went to the funeral!"

"Alphonse was sick," Carolina reminds him. "And so are you, Ellison." Her head tilts back and she exhales. "I don't know what medication you're on, but you told your doctors you weren't on anything and that is dangerous because there could have been an interaction with your antipsychotics–"

"I'm not on antipsychotics," Ellison replies irritably. "Alphonse was… until he wasn't."

She looks at her brother, mortified. "Ellison, you're bipolar–"

"I'm fine," he says too quickly.

"The hell you are," Carolina snarls. "You think I haven't been spending the last few days talking to the police? Getting as much information about the investigation that I can? They're saying there's no reason for you to have wrecked the way you did. Christ! Ellison! You left your brother home alone when you wrecked! There's so many things that you could be in trouble for – Reckless Endangerment is the tip of the iceberg–"

"What the fuck do you care!?" Ellison bites back. "I don't even know who you are! Not really! When's the last time you even talked to me? Alphonse's funeral! You don't even know Theo at-fucking-all and you're trying to use that card on me? Me? The only person who gives enough of a fuck to try and raise the literal bastard!"

As Ellison's voice raises, his heart monitor skyrockets. It's enough to make Carolina take pause even as her own boiling anger grows fiercer and stronger with each yell.

"What do you want me to admit?" Carolina asks dryly. "That I'm a terrible person? That I planned for things to get worse when I ran away and joined the military? That everything's my fault? Dad, Alphonse, your evil step-mom, Theo, you? It's all on me and I don't deserve the iota of happiness I've been gunning for in the last few years?"

Ellison's mouth audibly clicks closed and he stares at her angrily, waiting for the shoe to drop.

"Okay," Carolina says lowly instead.

Obviously caught by surprise, Ellison's head leans back. "What?"

"Okay," Carolina repeats, finally walking forward and quietly taking the seat beside her brother. "You're right. I don't deserve to be looking to be happy when I know – when I always knew – that I ran away from the responsibility of protecting my little brothers. When I spent all that time taking care of you so I could just… stop doing that when you needed it most." She looks into his skeptical gaze without flinching back from the judgment. "And I'm not happy, Ellison. Even as much as I've been trying – even as much as I've learned to… to love lately – I'm not happy yet. And I could never get close because… because in the back of my mind there's been my brothers. Just there. Acting as the big unknown."

There's an uncertain shift in Ellison's position, as if he isn't sure what to make of the confession. And Carolina can't blame him.

"Before you say anything, it's not an excuse, I promise," Carolina says firmly. "It's… an explanation."

"Fine," Ellison says, voice scratchy. "I accept this explanation. Even if I think it's bullshit. It's… it's the kinda bullshit that makes sense for a sixteen-year-old runaway who never grew up. So. Congrats on having that level of logic."

"Hey," Carolina snaps back, crossing her arms. "You took yourself off necessarymedication while having the custody of a minor, asshole. Logic is not the basis of any argument you can have."

They stare at each other in a stand off for a moment before Ellison cracks a smile and lets out a huff. "Yeah. Fine."

Carolina rubs at her neck. "I just… Why would you do something so stupid, Ellison? Alphonse never got help and he… and he…" She closes her eyes, unable to fully form the words even after all that time, after it being buried for so long.

"Because I'm a twin without a twin," Ellison says, voice croaking, painful. "I'm an identical twin who went to hell and back with his brother and… and he killed himself because he couldn't go to anyone for help. Because he couldn't go to me for help." Ellison drops his head and reaches up with his good hand, covering his face shakily. "How can you ask me why I'm messed up after that,Cee? How can you… how could you leave after…"

She stares at her brother's unfocused eyes and can see things in them – age and pain and worry that don't belong to someone so much younger.

It strikes Carolina how little she knows about him. Did he go to college? Did he finish? How does he keep himself and Theo afloat? Is he still relying on the wrongful death suit? Did any of the money her father tried to bring her back with over the years end up going to him?

They really aren't very sibling-like in their relationship. At least not in the past.

"I'm here now," she says, reaching forward and grabbing her brother's shoulder. "Alright? For you and for Theo. I'm done running away. I have a family now – it's a little broken, we don't always know what we're doing, but it's the closest to a family I've ever known since… since it was just three of us and mom." She squeezes. "And Theo adores you by the way. You're the foremost concern of his mind."

Ellison gives a watery snort, not moving his hand from his face. "He doesn't know what a role model should look like."

"Well," Carolina says, a soft smile pushing through. "We're trying to correct that."

"We," he repeats again, like it's something to be marveled. "So it's not just a hallucination. You've got two boyfriends sneaking around when you think I'm unconscious."

"I like to think of it as two boyfriends being lucky enough to have me, actually," Carolina corrects.

Ellison drops his hand enough to give Carolina a careful look over. "Are they okay guys?"

"The best," Carolina says without hesitation. She then takes a breath and shakes her head slightly. "We're all soldiers deep down. That's how we met. We… didn't get out of the war easily. Everyone's dealing with it. Somewhat."

"Sounds like you need to get some help," Ellison says hypocritically.

"Sounds like you better change your attitude if you want one of the good rooms once you're discharged," she says in warning. "You're going to need someone to help you around and keep an eye out for you for a long time thanks to this car wreck, little brother. And Theo's already claimed the best room for himself."

A harden look crosses Ellison's face. "You want to go from running away from home and not having almost anything to do with us for a decade to having opening your home to us?" he asks skeptically.

"Maybe," she replies. "I don't know. I'm just… I'm trying to make this whole thing right. And that includes you, Ellison." Her face crumbles slightly. "We lost Alphonse. And even if I haven't made it apparent over the years, I can't lose you knowing that I could have helped. So that means helping you and Theo, then it's done. If it means making some farce of a family out of my new family and my old, then it's done. And if it means convincing your stubborn ass to take your medication again then that's done, too. Got it?"

Ellison stares at her for a few moments before shaking his head. "Fine, fine. Whatever. Not that I'm not still pissed at you but…" He pauses for a sigh. "There's a part of me that really misses my big sister."

Carolina feels a swelling of something a little happy and a little sad all at once in her chest.

"Not that it means you have to spend every waking minute here to begin making it all up to me," he continues, looking at her skeptically. "Do you even shower?"

"I beg your pardon," she laughs, baffled. "I work here. I'm not just hanging out in the lounge."

"Whatever," Ellison says, the good humor a little forced but appreciated all the same. "How about your get yourself out of here and take that family we've got going on out for pizza or something? Let me rest well knowing that Theo's having his favorite meal."

"Pizza," Carolina repeats dully.

"Yeah, he loves it," Ellison shrugs. "Why, that a problem?"

"No, not at all," she sighs, leaning forward and kissing her brother's forehead. "Pizza it is. Again."

Somehow, in ways that Carolina is almost certain she doesn't want to learn the truth to, York manages to get to the pizzeria before all of them and have a table waiting.

He also has sunburned ears and nose which Carolina isn't even sure should be possible given the season so she chooses to eye him suspiciously from the booth seat beside him.

The looks do not go unnoticed.

"Trying to figure out why I'm smiling ear to ear?" he asks, leaning in with his chin on one of his hands. "Go on, ask me."

"Not even a little bit," she replies, raising a brow. "I have so many other questions beyond that one. That I just attributed to the whole I'm-the-one-who-suggested-pizza-for-once thing."

York hums a bit, his eye rolling back in thought before returning to Carolina. "Okay, you got me. That's part of it."

The baiting is a little too obvious and Carolina's instinct, especially after a rather emotionally exhaustive day, is to ignore it entirely. But there is something rather infectious about York's secrecy. She's almost curious.

Fortunately, they both become distracted when North and Theo approach and the tables completely turn.

"Whoa," York says, straightening up in his seat.

Carolina looks at the black eyes on her adolescent sibling then looks at North immediately. "What the hell happened?"

North and Theo trade looks before North shrugs. There's some unspoken language between the two of them that Carolina cannot even begin to decipher when Theo slides in beside York.

"I got in a fight," Theo answers.

"Did you win?" York asks almost too quickly.

Carolina's head snaps toward York quickly and taps her fingers against the table in annoyance. "Really?" she asks.

"It's a middle school fight," North assures them all as he ushers Theo into the booth and comfortably takes a seat among them. He looks to Carolina in particular with a comforting confidence. "It's nothing to get worried about yet. Because it's not happening again," he then glances toward Theo. "Right, Theo?"

"Nope," Theo promises. Then to York, "I won."

"That deserves a pizza," York replies, smacking his hands together loud enough to make the rest of the table jerk back and quiet the other tables around them a bit.

"York," Carolina and North groan together.

"You know what else deserves a pizza?" York says without missing a beat, leaning in against the table. The other patrons of the pizzeria around them raise their own rumbles back up to normal, apparently choosing to ignore the interruption. "It's also why I'm smiling."

"Is that not a normal thing to do?" Theo asks a little timidly, being the only one to actually look at the menu. "You've been pretty smiley since I met you."

"He's been going on about this since before you two got here," Carolina informs them. "Stop the dramatics, York."

"Don't ask him to do what he physically can't," North muses, glancing toward the menu in Theo's hands.

"Honestly, I don't even know if you guys deserve my great news at this point," York scoffs.

"Oh my god, York, just go on with it already," Carolina laughs.

"I don't know if I will–"

"York," all three other members of the table say in one voice.

York smirks and throws a thumb toward his chest. "You know all that bother you've been giving me for not having a job or looking for a job lately?" he asks. "I finally know what I'm going to do."

Genuinely surprised, Carolina turns and looks York over. She feels a small smile growing on her face almost despite herself. "What?"

Across the table, North mirrors her surprised joy. "No kidding, you have something lined up at last?"

"Better than that," York assures them.

At once, Carolina feels herself grow apprehensive. And by the look she catches from North, he's likely feeling the same.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Carolina asks.

"I've decided to become my own boss," York explains, crossing his arms.

Carolina feels the fleeting hopes she had for the news begin to leave almost immediately. "York–"

"Is this the Craigslist ads thing again?" North asks over her. "York, I'm really not comfortable with those things. How're you supposed to vet the offers of people you know nothing about? That none of us really know anything about? We barely know this town yet."

"York knows the town," Theo pipes up.

Almost having forgotten that her brother is among them, Carolina's head snaps in his direction and stares, a bit mystified. "Theo, that's not really true. York lived in, well, New York until the military and–"

"I do know the town," York corrects her. His eye shifts between Carolina and North. "I've walked every inch of this place, talked to every person on the streets. I've helped every mom and pop shop downtown one day or another, I've helped with groceries and handiwork and every other little thing I do in the day that you two have counted as nothing lately. And, you know what, I enjoy it. I like being a handyman. I like being able to help, and I like going out and looking for different odd jobs every day. So, I say, why not actually build off that."

"Insurance," Carolina answers.

"Job security," North answers almost at the same time.

"Wounded veteran," York says, pointing at Carolina, then pointing at North, "not anymore than I had at the furniture store or any other little job that you highlight in the morning paper. In fact, I'd have more job security because I'm going to be handling myself. What can I do? Fire myself?"

"It'd be funny if you could," Theo offers.

"Hilarious, but I'm not planning on it," York nods in agreement.

"York, I just don't know about this," North sighs, running a hand through his hair.

"Wouldn't it be easier to just apply for one of the jobs around town?" Carolina presses.

"No," York says without hesitation.

"York–" North begins to argue.

"It's not easier, not for me," York continues. "The two of you keep telling me I need to take care of myself, right? That I need to see doctors, that I need to talk to someone about whatever's going on with my head. And you know what? You're right. You're right and I hate it. I hate it so much it makes me even more sick. Because I lived. I lived and so many…. so many better people died out there that day."

Almost immediately, Carolina feels herself winded. She sits back against the booth seat and looks at York simply lost in the statement.

Those words hurt worse than any battle wound.

North says nothing, but he reaches over and grabs York's hand on the table. Carolina watches the gesture for a long moment before joining them.

"So I need to do something about and I guess I'm going to start doing that," York continues, voice not even the least bit weakened by his statement. "And I think part of that means knowing what I can't do. And I can't do a nine-to-five everyday. I can't work off of a schedule someone else makes. So I might not make the most money, and I might have some ups and downs. But I think… I think if I'm getting help – if you guys are with me – I can do this. I really think I can."

He looks back and forth between the two of them. "Is that… is that going to be okay?" he asks, a furrow of worry showing on his brow for the first time since the conversation started.

Words are failing Carolina in ways she never really thought they could. But like always, fortunately, she's not alone in this vital moment.

"York, if it's what's best for you, it's what we want," North assures him.

"Yeah?" York asks, looking to Carolina for confirmation.

Cracking a smile, Carolina cocks her head to the side. "Considering I'd only ever have a heart-to-heart in a pizzeria with the people at this table right now? I'd say I don't have a choice but to go with anything and everything you ultimately decide." She tilts her chin back and hums in thought. "Is that love?"

"I'm thinking it sounds awfully similar," North jokes.

"That's a relief," York laughs, scratching at his chin with his free hand. "Considering I've been putting in the research and to really get good at this self-business thing, I'm going to probably need to take an electrician's course at the community college. And to go to those classes on days that North's not there, I should probably finally retake a driver's license exam."

Carolina blinks. "You're going to drive?"

"That's great!" North gets out, sounding more and more impressed. "This… all of this is a good idea. And especially if it's good for you."

"You know," York leans back. "I really think it is."

"Then it does deserve a pizza," Carolina jokes. "More than a schoolyard fight."

"We can finally eat?" Theo asks, or more groans.

"We can," Carolina answers. "And then we can discuss what I'm going to do once York wants his car back."

"Keep the car," York says with a toss of his hand. "For all the amazing handiwork I'll be doing? I need a truck. A tool truck. Yeah… and a dog that sits in the passenger seat and guards my shit supposedly but, really, is just a fluffy stress reliever who hangs his head out of the window."

"Okay, now you're stretching," North rolls his eyes.

"You guys already have a yard," Theo presses, bouncing with some excitement.

"Yeah, I say we vote on it," York argues.

"Then we'll do it when we go to the hospital after pizza," Carolina decides. When she notices she has Theo's full attention, she offers him a gentle smile. "Ellison can be the tiebreaker." She looks to the others again, this time looking for their approval. "It's… a family decision, isn't it?"

North makes one of his unreadable, placid expressions, but York's eyes flicker with something brimming on joy.

"Yeah, it is," York answers.

Carolina squeezes her partners' hands and feels something she hasn't really known until this moment.

Family. Peace. At once together in her chest.