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"Gotta be freakin' kidding me, Tori..." Sans grumbled to himself as he pored over the note, turning it over in the hopes that it had some greater explanation. However, he found nothing, and he let out a quiet sigh. Whatever it was that she had to run off to see Alphys about before the sun was even up must have been important, but he sorely wished that she would have at least told him about it. Sans stood at the table for the longest time, staring down at the wood grain and losing himself in the whorls, his mind abuzz with questions and thoughts. He wanted to give in to the exhaustion that seemed to cling to him like pollen lately, crash back onto the sofa and let the sweet embrace of slumber take him, but he shrugged it off and sighed, forcing himself to concentrate.

Sans set about making fresh coffee and cracking a couple of eggs, the sizzling of the pan mingling with the rising birdsong outside in the crisp, damp morning air. He stifled a yawn as he prepared toast, waffles and bacon for everyone, finally finishing just as the sun began to rise over the horizon. The friendly chirrup of birds outside kept him company for a while. Sans sat with a satisfied grunt at his usual place at the kitchen table, taking a few long droughts of his coffee as he haphazardly gazed over the newspaper with one hand.

"You made breakfast?"

Sans nearly leaped out of his seat at the sound of Asriel's voice behind him, dropping the paper.

"Yeesh, kid, give me some warning next time," he clutched the left side of his chest. "Do I have to put a friggin' bell around your neck?"

"Ha ha and ha," Asriel helped himself to waffles with a deadpan look, grabbing one of the glass bottles of purple liquid from the refrigerator. He wore striped blue pajamas identical to Frisks's and an utterly unamused look that seemed to be on his face more and more often lately. "That was just so hilarious that I forgot to laugh."

"It's just the curse of being so darned charming," Sans swooned with the back of his hand to his forehead. "Alas, if only I hadn't been rolled with an eighteen charisma."

"What are you even talking about?" Asriel asked through a mouthful of food.

"... I'm unappreciated in my time," Sans sighed quietly.

"Uncle Sans, you can cook?"

Sans glanced up from the article he'd been reading to see Frisk standing in the doorway, rubbing her eyes.

"What?" Sans blinked as she sat down at the table. "I can cook. I'm great at it."

"So what's the occasion?" she asked as she snagged a couple of waffles. "The most I've ever seen you cook is, like, hot dogs."

"I can cook all sorts of things!" he snorted, folding down the paper to stare at her. "Just because I generally choose not to doesn't mean that I'm utterly incapable of making breakfast."

"... Did Mom make all this?" Asriel asked with his mouth full. Sans pinched the spot between his eyes with a sigh.

"Oh, ye of little faith," he shook his head sadly.

"Where is Mom, anyway?" Frisk kicked her legs back and forth, casting an odd glance into the dark living room where Chara and Void Sans still soundly slept.

"She... left earlier," Sans suddenly found it difficult to find the right words, a bizarre paranoia prickling at the back of his mind, but he fought it off. "She'll be back later tonight."

"She-she left?" Asriel swallowed and balked at him. "Why? For what? Where did she go?"

Sans started to reply before he was interrupted yet again.

"Whoa, who cooked all this? It smells great!" Void Sans stood in the doorway with his hands in his pockets, leaning against the door frame lazily and looking as if he hadn't slept at all.

"Good morning to you too," Sans nodded to his double. "And to answer your question, I did."

"... No, but, seriously," Void stared back at him. "Who made breakfast?"

Sans facepalmed and shook his head.

"What?" Void dropped into one of the seats and began piling eggs and bacon onto his plate. "Was it something that I said?"

"So..." Asriel poked at the remainder of his food with his fork, thinking aloud. "So, if Mom left, that probably means we're going to have a substitute teacher..."

"Do you think it's going to be Undyne again?" Frisk asked worriedly. "I think half the class is still recovering after 'the dodgeball incident'."

"Does this mean we don't have to go to school today?" Asriel asked Sans hopefully.

"Yes, you still have to go to school," Sans deadpanned, much to the dismay of Asriel. "Your education is important. By the way," he looked over to his duplicate, who was busy shoveling food into his mouth with abandon. "You're gonna help today, right?"

Void stopped eating.

"... Whelp," he stood suddenly with a blank expression. "I'm goin' to Grillby's."

"Now hang on-"

But Void was already gone with a click of his fingers, as if he had never been there at all.

"... Goddammit."

"Sans!" Papyrus poked his head around the corner after hurriedly traipsing down the stairs, already wearing his many pocketed guard's uniform. "Quarter in the swear jar."

"We don't have a swear jar," Sans frowned.

"We should get one!" Frisk chipped in.

"I disagree with that notion."

"Good morning by the way, brother," Papyrus patted him on the head. "Wow, Toriel really did a fantastic job with breakfast, it's practically a feast in here."

Sans suddenly felt as if they were going to need a swear jar.

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It didn't take long for everyone to prepare for the day, and time seemed to practically fly by. Before long they had all piled into Papyrus's still slightly damp convertible, all three children buckled into the back seat and the open road before them. The clouds had finally parted to allow the morning sun to shine through, rays of light illuminating the last remaining patches of shadow here and there. The wind rustled over them noisily, and the cool morning air made them all shiver.

"So..." Frisk started conversationally as they drove, Papyrus's swerving unnerving them all. "Uncle Sans?"

"What's up, kiddo?" he asked without looking around, instead glancing back into the rear view mirror.

"How come we didn't just take one of your shortcuts to school? Wouldn't it be faster?"

"Oh, y'know," he shrugged without meeting her gaze. "Gotta take the scenic route every now and then or you'll forget how pretty the world's nature is."

"Looks like boring suburbs to me," Chara quipped coldly.

"Eh, you know what I mean..." Sans answered flippantly. "There's still a sort of beauty to human architecture, if you really look hard."

"Actually, I'm with Chara on this one," Asriel spoke up at last as they turned a corner toward the school. "Suburbs are nothing compared to monster architecture, that's how real homes are made."

"Eh," Sans shrugged as they arrived. "If every pork chop were perfect we wouldn't have hot dogs."

"What does that even mean?" Chara asked disgustedly.

"Pffft, I dunno. Probably means that I should stop watching late night cartoons. Have a good day at school, munchkins," Sans and Papyrus waved to Asriel and Frisk as they clambered out of the car. Chara made to follow, but Sans put up a hand to stop them.

"Whoa, whoa," Sans pointed a finger at them to reclaim their seat. "You're sticking with me for now."

"What?" Chara scowled, looking after the other two as they entered the school building. "Why? What did I do?"

"You're not technically enrolled in school anyway," Sans shrugged again. "What exactly are you gonna tell them? That you're Frisk's long lost twin from another dimension or something? Because that's gotta be the cheesiest thing I've ever heard, nobody's gonna buy that chitzy crap."

"I hate to say it, but Sans actually has a point, tiny human..." Papyrus offered as they swerved out of the driveway, picking up speed and nearly colliding with an oncoming bus. "Humans tend to be very... strict about rules."

"What would you know anything about that?" Chara's cheeks reddened as they cast one last stare back at the dwindling school building.

"Oh! I've learned a lot about human rules," Papyrus chatted amicably. "For example, did you know that going over the speed limit on those little painted signs is technically breaking human rules?"

"Gee how would anyone have ever guessed," they deadpanned.

"I know, right?" Papyrus chuckled. "But whenever the authorities catch up all they do is give you a little slip of paper. Clearly they need better instruction on how to handle these situations."

"... Paps," Sans started awkwardly, staring at his brother. "Are-are you saying you got a speeding ticket?"

"Oh, no," Papyrus laughed, and Sans let out a quiet breath of relief. "Nothing so easy as that. I got far more than one."

"That's g- wait, what?"

Papyrus leaned over and opened the glovebox. The moment he did so, dozens and dozens of white papers flew out and dashed away into the wind, spraying the vehicle behind them and earning more than a fair share of words to fill up half the swear jar.

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A/N

Man I love writing Papyrus. I really tried to keep everyone in character, though things are gonna get a little crazy in later chapters. Thanks again to all of the readers leaving comments to let me know how I'm doing, it really keeps me going. ^_^

More chapters are on the way!