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"Grab your coat."

Chara blinked in mild surprise at Sans's command. Toriel had already driven away through the rain with Asriel and Frisk to the school, and Papyrus was proudly sporting his new eye patch as he reclined at the kitchen table. They blinked again with a slight frown when Sans shut off the television spouting about the terrible weather, watching as Sans pulled on his own blue jacket. Void Sans was still snoring quietly in the recliner, pulled up into the fetal position with his face hidden in the cushion.

"Uh..." Chara started a little awkwardly as he switched out his house slippers for a pair of worn, dirty sneakers which he neglected to tie. "I don't actually, you know... own a coat. Or any clothes of my own, now that I think about it."

"You can wear one of Frisk's," he pointed a single finger up the stairs. "Upstairs, second room on the left, right side of the closet. Bright green rain jacket, can't miss it."

Chara nodded once in understanding and ascended the stairs and out of sight.

"Hey Paps," Sans stuck his head in through the kitchen doorway.

"Yes?" Papyrus stifled a yawn. The top button of his night guard uniform shirt was unbuttoned and his flat topped brown hat was hanging off the back of the chair. He shifted the new eye patch, staring at Sans with his good eye. "What is it, brother?"

"Can you remind me to grab some new digs for the kid?" he jabbed a thumb over his shoulder.

"Of course," he nodded tiredly. "I'll just write it down for you."

Papyrus reached a couple of times for the magnetic notepad and pen sticking to the refrigerator door before giving up with an unsatisfied grunt.

"Oh no," Papyrus said in a deadpan expression. "I cannot reach the memo pad. Whatever am I to do."

"... You alright, Paps?" Sans blinked worriedly. "You're not usually so... snarky."

"Yes, yes," Papyrus held his back as he stood with a slight stoop, swiping the notepad from the refrigerator and beginning to write. "I apologize, brother. No need to worry, everything is under control."

"See," Sans crossed his arms. "It's when you say things like that that really makes me nervous."

"We... had another break in last night..." Papyrus shifted uneasily back into his seat, passing Sans the slip of paper, which he promptly folded and tucked into his pocket. "It's been a little hectic at the museum is all."

"Jeez, another one?" Sans frowned. "What is that, the third one this month?"

"Fourth, actually," Papyrus met his gaze. "Well, one of them just turned out to be a stray dog. No idea how it got in without tripping the alarms, but that's not important."

"So what did they steal?"

"Hmm?" Papyrus blinked. "Oh, nothing was stolen. In fact, that's the strange thing; every time an exhibit has been broken in to, nothing has been taken at all. It's the strangest thing."

"You're telling me..." Sans rubbed his chin in thought.

Sans felt a light tugging at his sleeve, and he turned his head to see Chara in Frisk's bright green rain jacket with the hood pulled down over their eyes.

"Heading out?" Papyrus stifled another yawn. "In this terrible weather?"

"Yeah," Sans nodded once. "Just heading to see Alphys."

"Do give her my sincerest thanks," he beamed widely, despite his apparent exhaustion. "Really, this eye patch isn't nearly as itchy as the old ones."

"I'll tell her that it was much eyepreciated," Sans grinned. Papyrus only groaned and held a hand to his face.

"Slowly killing me," Papyrus clutched his chest. "Your terrible puns... slowly... draining the life from me..."

Papyrus's head dropped to the table with a clunk, and Sans could have sworn that he heard Chara snicker.

"Oh, ha ha," Sans rolled his eyes. "Nobody acknowledges good humor."

"Can't hear you," Papyrus waved him off with one hand. "Your joke killed me. I'm dead. Bleh."

The small smile that had been on Chara's face suddenly vanished, which Sans quietly noted.

"We'll be back after a while, Broseidon," Sans slowly shook his head. "Maybe the rain will have died down on the walk back."

"You're walking all the way to Alphys's and Undyne's?" Papyrus pried one eye open for a spare moment. "Why?"

"Uh..." Sans tapped his fingers together awkwardly. "Well, you-you see, I, uh... well..."

"Keys are in the ignition," Papyrus answered without opening his eyes.

"Thanks, Paps," Sans said with a sigh. "You're the best."

"Don't mention it brother. But seriously though, if you get one scratch on my baby..."

"I'll take good care of your 'baby'," he laughed, giving his brother a half salute. "And if I'm lying, may your car be struck by lightning."

"Not encouraging, Sans!" Papyrus shouted after them as they braved the pouring rain, quickly hopping into Papyrus's red convertible.

Sans gave the engine a couple of revs for good measure before peeling out of the driveway, nearly hitting, much to his surprise, a long black limousine. Sans groaned as he watched the limo slow to a crawl behind them, stopping directly in front of the house.

"... Who is that?" Chara asked, buckling their seatbelt.

"Mettaton," Sans moaned miserably. "I do not have time for this today."

"Yoo-hoo!" they heard a slightly robotic voice calling them as a large black umbrella blossomed out from the back seat of the limousine, shielding the metallic body from the rain. "Sans, darling!"

"Not today," Sans said with sudden determination, kicking the gear up a notch and throwing up rain behind them as they sped away. He pulled out his cellphone and promptly dialed Papyrus's number, pressing the phone tightly to the side of his head.

"Come on bro, pick up, pick up..." he muttered to himself. "... Oh, come on! Why does his voicemail say that he's 'at soup'? What does that even mean?"

"Mettaton looks, um... different from the last time I saw him..." Chara stared in the rear view window at the waving robot. "Shinier. More... um, legs."

"Looks the same to me," Sans said sourly without looking back, instead picking up speed and tearing through rain puddles as he grumpily stuffed his phone back in his pocket. "The less I have to deal with that guy today, the better."

"Do you not like his show or something?" Chara asked, feigning disinterest.

"His stupid show, his stupid voice, his stupid personality, his stupid face," Sans checked off his fingers as he drove. "Maybe it's just that he's dating my brother that irritates me."

"... Whut."

It was relatively quiet as they drove through the rain, windshield wipers working furiously to keep the convertible clear.

"... Why am I here again?" Chara asked at last, staring at him.

"Depends on what you mean," Sans shrugged. "I mean, that's a question that both monsters and humans have been trying to decipher for literally thousands of years-"

"No, no," Chara rolled their eyes. "I mean, why did you drag me along with you to Alphys's?"

"Because I didn't feel like trying to fight with lumpy back home," he explained quietly. "If he's not still drunk he's definitely going to be hungover, and that means that he's not going to keep an eye on you."

"Why are you so paranoid?"

"Oh, I'm sorry," Sans answered in a deadpan. "I'm not the one who decided that it was a good idea to run off up Mount Ebott."

Chara looked away out the window, holding their arms.

Sans rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly, steering with one hand.

"... Sorry if the truth hurts, kid. But somebody's gotta watch out for you."

"What do you even care?" Chara answered coldly without looking at him.

Sans blinked.

"Why wouldn't I?"

"Are you even listening to what you're saying?" they glared him in the eyes. "You don't know me. You practically just met me! You don't know me, you don't know what I am, the-the things I've done-"

"And I don't care," Sans shrugged, earning an absolutely baffled stare from the child. "Look, kid. I get that you come from a pretty messed up place. Believe me, I know the feeling, more than you can imagine. But all that stuff that happened in your timeline can stay in your timeline for all I care. You're in my timeline now, and if you wanna stay here, you play by my rules. Because if you don't, you are really gonna have a bad time. Capiche?"

Chara did not seem to have a ready answer to that. Sans rolled a hand through the air and they eventually swallowed dryly and nodded once, resuming their stare out the window.

It was absolutely silent the remaining entirety of the drive.

Sans pulled into the driveway in front of the multistory house, staring up at the odd lightning rods sticking up all over the roof. He hadn't noticed it before, but one of them had been bent to slightly resemble a metal fish. He snorted and shook his head, motioning for Chara to follow. Sans gave the door a couple of quick raps in rapid succession, stuffing his hands back into his pockets to ward off the chill. It was several long minutes of standing in the rain before Alphys finally answered the door.

"Sans!" Alphys yanked open the door for them, almost completely out of breath. Several black sooty marks covered her body, and there was a spot on her cheek that looked very sore and red. "Sorry, sorry! Come on in out of the rain, you're soaked!"

"Down to the bone," he grinned, allowing Chara entry first.

"Um... Sans?" Alphys shifted awkwardly, asking in poorly concealed voice as she closed the door behind them. "Why did you bring her?"

"Them," he corrected her. "I'm, uh, babysitting."

"Not a baby..." Chara grumbled, crossing their arms, but nobody seemed to hear.

"You alright, Al?" Sans shook his coat a little to clear the rainwater away. "What happened?"

"Well," she started awkwardly, leading them into the basement down the stairs. "I've been doing a little, er... tinkering with the phase distorter, trying to find out exactly why and how we wound up with another version of you and Frisk-"

"Chara," Chara interrupted.

"And Chara," Alphys nodded without pausing. "And the phase distorter sort of, um... exploded."

"Yeah," Sans said as they reached the bottom of the stairs, taking in the absolute carnage in the basement. "It does tend to do that a little."

"A little?" Chara stared at the destruction. There was shattered glass from exploded monitors everywhere, bits and scraps of torn steel embedded in the walls, and the single remaining bulb swung precariously overhead, casting long shadows over the laboratory.

"Looks like one hell of a cleanup job," Sans kicked a bit of torn scrap metal with his foot. "Damn... I knew we should have dismantled that thing. Just glad you weren't hurt too badly by the explosion."

"Oh, this?" Alphys pointed to her cheek. "Nah, this is just from putting out the fire."

"I take it Undyne's skipping out on helping with this?" Sans guessed. "Not really like her."

"Actually, Undyne is at the school."

Sans stared at her.

"... Why?"

"Uh, because she teaches there?" Alphys met his stare. "She's a gym teacher."

"Heh. Never thought I'd see the day where Undyne teaches human kids."

"Sans...?" Alphys peered at him oddly. "She's been teaching there for nearly a year. Are-are you feeling alright?"

"Am I alright? Al, you look like you lost a fight with a toaster."

Alphys blushed and tried wiping some of the soot from her face, only resulting in smearing it.

"So..." Chara stared at the wreckage. "Now what?"

"Well," Sans rolled his shoulders. "Now we put the phase distorter back together."

"Are you serious?" they balked at him. "Rebuild the machine that is apparently prone to explosions?"

"I'm with F- I mean, Chara on this one," Alphys held up a claw. "Can we not have something go horribly wrong for a little while first?"

Sans looked around at the still slightly smoking ruins of Alphys's laboratory, letting out a quiet sigh. Chara and Alphys stared at him for a few painfully long moments, awaiting his answer.

"... Yeah," he admitted defeat at last. "I guess it wouldn't hurt to wait a little while longer."

"Oh thank god," Alphys wiped her forehead, leaving a trail of soot over her eyes and giving her the impression of a large unibrow. "I can't begin to tell you how relieved I am to finally have that dreadful thing shut down for a bit."

"We can start the repairs... tomorrow?" Sans gauged Alphys's reaction, and her wriggling unibrow. "Next day? Fine, fine, next week, yeesh."

"Well," Alphys put her hands on her hips, turning away to face the wreckage. "I guess for now we just have to focus on cleaning up the lab. Right, guys?"

By the time she turned around, they were already gone.

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A/N

Thanks for reading! Hope everyone is enjoying the story thus far, please let me know if I missed any spelling errors or just how I'm doing in the comments. More chapters on the way! :D