Hey everyone! Here's Chapter 22! Hope you enjoy!
Bbrae-4ever fanfics: He definitely isn't haha. He seems like someone much better suited for command rather than comfort. Raven seems much better suited at providing comfort. :)
Allen Blaster: I considered doing that, but I figured it would be too much confrontation in one go. I have the next chapter written already, and although I don't have that happen, I hope you'll like what happens! And thank you! :)
RPGPersona: They are definitely in a tricky place. It can be hard to break through peoples barriers, especially when they're that stubborn, but when there's that much tension, things are bound to explode. And definitely, sometimes words can be nice, but actions really need to be taken. :)
Please keep reading and reviewing! I really appreciate it! :)
Beast Boy flew into his room through the window, instantly transforming back to his human self and stretching out his back. Flying was always a nice relief for him. After his earlier conversation with Robin, he felt incredibly frustrated. He felt the need to get out of the tower, as if the confines of his room were too suffocating. He felt jittery almost, so much anger residing in his body. He didn't know why he got so livid; he knew that Robin and the others were just trying to help, but it still rubbed him the wrong way. They had no idea what he was going through, and he wasn't about to tell them. He wasn't going to risk dragging them down with him.
Even after flying for the last few hours, he still felt upset. The anger had mostly died down, leaving a general frustration and stress behind in its place. He knew no amount of flying would relieve him of that stress, but something else would.
He walked over to his desk and opened up one of the drawers. When he immediately couldn't find it, he started moving around the contents of the drawer in search for it. Still, he couldn't find it.
"What the hell?" he mumbled to himself as he continued to rummage through it a second time. Soon, a voice rang out behind him.
"Looking for this?" Raven asked in her monotone as she stepped out from his bottom bunk. She had been hidden from his view when he first entered his room, oblivious to the fact that there was even another human presence there. In her hand was a silver blade with dried blood on the edge.
Beast Boy stared at her in disbelief, feeling a panic rise up in him. He didn't know why he felt the panic; he knew that it was only a matter of time before she searched his room for his tools. He had expected it to happen sooner ever since she discovered his wounds.
"Where did you…how did you…uh," Beast Boy uttered, not able to form a sentence out of his rapid thoughts.
"It wasn't that hard to find. Also, that blood stain on the floor is new," she said, pointing out the dark crimson stain next to his desk from a few nights ago. She encased the blade in her dark energy and broke it into many small pieces, rendering it useless.
"Why are you taking it?" he asked, his voice quiet.
"Why am I taking it? Why do you think I'm taking it? Robin told me how bad your wrist was earlier today. This is getting out of hand, Gar. You need to stop hurting yourself," she responded, stepping closer to him.
"You think I have a choice in stopping?" he said, somewhat laughing, "If I had a choice in the matter, do you think I'd still be doing it? Do you think I would choose to do this to myself?"
Raven stared at him, confused at what he was saying.
"What do you mean you don't have a choice? You're the one hurting yourself," she said. She wasn't yelling at him or accusing him, but rather simply asking him out of curiosity.
"If I could go back in time and never start cutting when I was younger, I would in a heartbeat. It starts off as a choice, Raven. A temporary relief. But once you start, you can't stop. Trust me, I've tried," he said, his voice sounding sad.
"But you've stopped before. You haven't cut in years," Raven said.
"Yes I have. I did it a lot as a kid, and then I started doing it less often. I've been doing it this entire time, just not that much. True, it has definitely picked up lately, but it's not new. I haven't stopped, Raven. I never had," he admitted.
Raven looked at him shocked. She never realized the pain he had been putting himself through all these years. She had no idea that he had been doing this the whole time.
"Have you tried to stop?" she asked, her voice quiet now.
"Of course I've tried! I've tried so many times. Nothing else works for me. I can't stop doing it. Even when I try, the urge is there, and if I don't give into the urge, it just keeps getting stronger and stronger," he explained.
She had no idea that self-harm was addictive. She thought he had complete control over the matter, purposefully choosing to hurt himself. But now, knowing that he didn't have control, she knew that the situation just got a lot more complicated. It was harder to stop an addiction than a habit.
"We can help you stop, Beast Boy. Please, let us try. Let me try! I will do anything I can to help you get rid of the urges!" she pleaded, stepping closer to him so that they were mere inches apart.
"You can try all you want, but it won't make a difference, Raven. It's been too many years. I'm in too deep, and there's no going back for me," he said to her, his voice barely audible.
Raven pulled him into a hug, holding him tightly against her body.
"It may not make a difference, but I will still try. I promise you that it will get better. I'll make sure of it," she said, her voice muffled in his shirt.
Beast Boy didn't respond, but rather just hugged her back. Soon, they departed from the hug and made their way over to Beast Boy's bed where they laid down in an embrace, eventually falling asleep. Raven held onto him tightly, not wanting him to leave her sight. She was going to help him, whether he liked it or not. She was sure of that.