Hey everyone! Here's Chapter 29! Hope you enjoy!
Bbrae-4ever fanfics: I figured anti-depressants would be a good starting point. Sometimes they help patients a lot, and sometimes they don't. But it's generally a good first try. I hope you'll enjoy what I have in the next few chapters! We're getting really close to the end! :)
RPGPersona: Definitely, yeah. It is by no means a long term solution, and he'll have to be monitored closely so that he doesn't misuse the drugs. And that would certainly not a fun task. I thought about having them do that, but then it's a major invasion of personal privacy and that's a tricky situation. And definitely, yeah! Small progress, but progress nonetheless. And that's mostly what happened. Hope you're enjoying the story! :)
Please keep reading and reviewing! I really appreciate it! :)
The next morning, Beast Boy and Raven woke up to the sound of Cyborg rustling through the pharmaceutical cabinet. He seemed oblivious to the fact that his noisy searching had woken up the two teens. He was humming a light melody to himself as if the two of them weren't there at all. Beast Boy didn't seem to mind, but the abrupt awakening left Raven somewhat irritated. Raven cleared her throat, catching the metal man's attention. Cyborg turned around to face the two as he held a pill bottle in his hand.
"Mornin', y'all!" he said to them as he made his way over. "You know, you two are pretty cute together."
That comment caused a blush to creep up onto Raven's cheeks, which Cyborg noticed and chuckled at. When she had woken up, her head was resting on Beast Boy's still bare chest, and their fingers were intertwined. She wasn't really one to be publicly intimate, so she felt somewhat embarrassed. Beast Boy, of course, didn't mind it at all. He still seemed too groggy to care anyway.
"Anyway," Cyborg started again as he removed a pill from the bottle before handing the bottle to Raven, "It's time for your first dose. You'll need to take one pill every morning at the same time. Raven will be in charge of your pills, and she will give you the right dose every morning. If you start to have any side effects, let one of us know immediately and we'll try to figure out something else. Otherwise, if you refuse to take your pill, Raven has our permission to kick your green butt until you do."
Cyborg was trying to lift the mood. It had been so dark the last day or so, and he was growing tired of it. He was pleased when his remark caused a slight smirk out of his friend as he sat up on the bed. Cyborg then handed him the small, sage green pill and a glass of water. Beast Boy held the small pill in his hand for a moment and inspected it. He hated taking medication, but he knew that he needed to do this. He threw the pill in his mouth and swallowed it down with a gulp of water.
"You should feel the medication start taking effect in about a month or so. I'm going to check over you, see how you're healing up. Raven, you've been down here for almost a day now on watch. I can take over now," Cyborg said.
"Okay," she said as she stood up, "If you need me for any reason, let me know."
"Of course. Don't worry," Cyborg reassured her, and she left the room, leaving the two boys alone. "So, how you feeling?" Cyborg said as he took a seat across from Beast Boy.
"Uh, fine, I guess," Beast Boy responded.
"How much pain are you in?" Cyborg asked him, studying his expression closely.
"Not too much. Ever since Rae healed me up yesterday, I don't really feel my neck too much apart from the bruising. I still don't like to move it too much though," Beast Boy explained.
"And your arms?" Cyborg asked. He picked up one of Beast Boy's arms and began inspected the stitched up wounds.
"They're not bad. Hurts when they hit something or get gripped, but otherwise nothing out of the normal," he explained. He looked away as Cyborg examined his arms; he felt self-conscious whenever his arms were exposed, but having them inspected up close was really embarrassing for him. Cyborg gently set that arm down and took the other and began examining it too.
"They look like they're healing well. There's no sign of infection in any of them. I should be able to remove the sutures in the next coming days as long as they continue to heal properly," Cyborg explained as he set that arm down as well. "I'm going to examine your neck now. If you feel any pain or discomfort, let me know."
Beast Boy turned his head back towards Cyborg, but kept his gaze to the side as he was examined. Cyborg lightly prodded at his neck, trying to feel for any abnormalities underneath the skin, specifically where the noose had hung. At certain points in the examination, Beast Boy would wince and Cyborg would lighten his touch further. Cyborg noticed how Beast Boy was averting his gaze, but chose not to call him out on it. He knew how uncomfortable this whole situation must've been for his friend, and he didn't want to cause any more discomfort than what was necessary. Soon, Cyborg finished his examination. He began to remove Beast Boy's IV line and the other equipment that had been on him.
"Your health seems to be stable enough to be discharged. I'll still have to check over your injuries regularly, but you're good to go for now," Cyborg said.
"So I can go back to my room now?" Beast Boy asked, eager to get away from everyone and back to his fortress of solitude.
"Not exactly. We can't risk you being on your own for the time being, so you're going to be living with Raven in her room for the foreseeable future. You need to be constantly accompanied by either her or one of us, within reason of course," Cyborg explained. He could see how much that upset his friend, and decided to explain further. "I'm sorry it has to be that way, B. But until you can show that you can you're safe to be on your own, you have to be constantly watched."
"How long will that take?" Beast Boy asked.
"I don't know. Hopefully not long. Like I said, until you can show us that you can be on your own and not hurt yourself, it has to be this way," Cyborg replied. Beast Boy simply nodded in response. After a moment of silence, Cyborg spoke up again. "So now that everyone's not down here and bombarding you with questions, wanna tell me how you're really doing?"
"I don't know what you're talking about. I said I'm not that sore anymore" Beast Boy said.
"That's not what I meant," Cyborg started, "I meant how are you feeling? Emotionally?"
Beast Boy adverted his gaze once again.
"I don't know. I'm…confused," he said.
"How so?" Cyborg asked, intrigued. He hadn't expected that answer.
"I still want to die. I want to die really, really bad. But, I don't really know how to explain it. When I attempted, with what little awareness I had, I felt scared. It's like, once it started, I didn't necessarily feel regret, but I felt something. I want to die, but I don't at the same time," he explained.
Cyborg took in this information and thought about it for a minute before responding.
"Maybe you don't really want to die, but rather you want to end your suffering?" Cyborg offered.
"What do you mean?" Beast Boy asked him.
"You're in a lot of pain. You feel like you're not really living anymore, and you hate that. Maybe, you thought that you wanted to die, but rather you just wanted to feel like you're living again," Cyborg explained.
Beast Boy didn't immediately respond after that. Rather, he silently took in the information and thought about it. Then, he subtly shook his head.
"I – I don't know. It's just all really, really confusing to me," Beast Boy said quietly, his voice barely audible.
Cyborg stood up and hugged his friend. Beast Boy stiffened at first, but soon relaxed and hugged him back.
"I know it is, and that's okay. You'll figure it out eventually. And you will feel better eventually, too. It just takes time," Cyborg said as he embraced the younger boy.
The hug lasted for a few more seconds before they departed from one another.
"Th-thanks, Cy," Beast Boy said. He looked down at his arms that were resting on his lap. He started turning his wrist over, examining the mauled skin that ran all the way up his arms.
"No problem. You know, if you want, Raven may be able to heal those further. Might be able to prevent some of the scarring," Cyborg offered.
"I don't really want her to heal them. I don't know why, I just…I want them to heal on their own," he said quietly as he continued to examine his arms. "Can – can I go to Raven's room now?"
"Sure, if you want. I'm not sure if she's there at the moment, but I'll call her and check," Cyborg said.
"Do you have a shirt for me?" Beast Boy asked, not wanting to be exposed for another second.
"Not with me, but we moved a few of your uniforms to Raven's room. You'll be able to change once you get there," Cyborg responded. He then contacted Raven through his communicator to let her know that they were headed to her room to drop Beast Boy off. Beast Boy simply nodded.
The two of them then stood up. Having not walked or stood up in a while, it took Beast Boy a moment to get used to being on his feet again. Cyborg held onto him to make sure he wouldn't fall down. Once they were both sure that he would be fine to walk on his own, they made their way out of the infirmary and up to Raven's bedroom.