Hey everyone! Here's Chapter 31! Hope you enjoy!
Adrinsane: Haha sometimes it could be. As well as just cuddling and such. Hope you're enjoying the story! :)
Bbrae-4ever fanfics: BBRae is such an adorable couple! I love them! I'm glad that the BBRae moments that I'm writing are cute haha :)
Otherbeing-spirituallife: You have no idea how much that review means to me. I've experienced it as well, and having a support system of close friends has been tremendously helpful. I'm so glad that I'm portraying the emotions well; it's definitely a difficult and complex feeling to describe. It's important to me to help place awareness on these kinds of issues. It's one of the main reasons why I'm majoring in psychology to become a psychologist. I'm glad that you're enjoying the story! Thank you so much :)
Please keep reading and reviewing; I really appreciate it! :)
It had been a few days since Beast Boy's suicide attempt, and he was beginning to grow quite restless. He absolutely hated the constant attention and monitoring, as if he was a ticking time bomb that could go off any second. They only moments that he got alone were those when he used the bathroom or showered, but even then there was someone guarding the door and checking up on him verbally every five minutes. It was quickly becoming suffocating for the changeling. And to top it all off, he had no blades or anything remotely sharp to cut with. He had briefly searched sections of Raven's room whenever she turned her back to him, but he couldn't find anything. He searched the bathroom too, but there was nothing there either. He considered shattering the mirror and using the shards from it, but that would be far too obvious and loud. He couldn't risk getting caught. So, with the lack of proper tools, he resorted to scratching at his arms and wrists with his nails, as well as biting himself. It didn't have nearly the same effect as a blade, but it was enough to keep him sane. At least, it had been.
The need to cut grew steadily greater and greater. He felt as if he would absolutely and completely explode if he wasn't able to get that relief soon. He peered at the clock next to Raven's bed. It was nearing two in the morning. He then glanced at the empath next to him, and he could see that she was in a deep slumber. Although she had fallen asleep with her arm across his abdomen, she had rolled over recently, effectively removing him from her grasp. He knew his chances were limited, and this may be the only opportunity he has in a while. He quickly transformed into a fly and flew towards her door. Before slipping out from underneath the door, he looked back briefly to make sure she was still asleep. And to his wish, she was.
He flew underneath the door and into the empty hallway. He briefly considered transforming back into his human form, but decided against it. He couldn't risk anyone leaving their room and catching him. So, he flew down the dark hallway as a tiny, buzzing fly and finally came to his room. He flew underneath the door, then transformed back into his human form.
The room looked so different than the way he had left it only a mere few days earlier. It had been cleaned up. The noose had been removed and the chair put back in its place. The knife and blade that had fallen near him were also removed. The bloodstains that had coated the floor were still visible, but it was obvious that there was an attempt to remove them. All the food that had been rotting away on his desk was gone. His bed had been made, and there had also been attempts to remove the bloodstains there.
Suddenly, memories of that night came pouring back to him. He could remember the feeling of the blade ripping through his skin, and then the knife that followed. He remembered his hands finding the rope. He remembered tying the noose to the ceiling fan and placing the chair underneath it. The memories were all blurry and seemed to meld together. Although he couldn't recollect well visually, he completely and entirely felt it. He remembered the noose tightening around his throat as he sloppily kicked the chair down. It had burned horribly, and he had felt as if his head was exploding.
He shook his head violently in an attempt to remove the memories from his mind. He had a task at hand that he needed to complete, and he couldn't waste his time reminiscing on his failed attempt. He made his way towards his nightstand table and threw open the drawers. He soon realized that his blades had been removed from that location.
Should've expected it. It's obvious that they've been in here. Of course they would've taken my blades, he thought to himself as he closed the drawer.
He briefly thought about checking the closet to see if his knife was there, but quickly dismissed the idea knowing that the team wouldn't have returned the knife to him. He then remembered another location to search. He lowered his body to the ground and crawled underneath his bed. Sure enough, he still had his blades underneath his bottom bunk. There were three blades total hidden underneath the bed. He removed one, choosing to leave the other two there in the case that he would need them at a later point. He crawled back out into his room and sat on his bed. It was eerily quiet in the tower, and it was the most relief he had felt since his attempt. He enjoyed his isolation even though he knew it would end soon.
He stared at the blade that rested in his hand. The ones underneath his bed had never been used, so the edge was still pristine. He pulled up his sleeve and began to slice into the skin. Even though it had only been a few days since his last blade wound, it felt like an eternity. The blood started to seep out of the wounds slowly, then more quickly. It began to run down his arm, some managing to drip onto the ground. Luckily, none got on his uniform. Before he knew it, there was a patch of nearly two dozen cuts on the inside of his forearm.
He finally felt the relief that he had been craving since waking up in the infirmary. He stared down at his arm and watched the blood leave the wounds. They soon finished bleeding and he pulled his sleeve back down. He glanced at his clock and saw that it was nearing three in the morning now. He needed to get back to Raven's room before she woke up and discovered him missing. That would not be a fun incident.
He placed the blade in his mouth and transformed into a small mouse. When he reached his door, he scooted the blade into the hallway and transformed into a fly to escape underneath. Once out, he transformed back into a mouse and put the blade back into his mouth. He quickly scurried back to Raven's room and performed the same maneuver to get inside her bedroom. He was relieved to see that she was still fast asleep, completely unaware of his absence.
He quickly searched around her room as a mouse to find a good hiding place for his tool. He soon decided to hide it behind her bookshelf on the ground. It would be subtle enough so that she would likely not find it, but also easily accessible for him. Once the blade was hidden, he quietly made his way back to the bed and laid down next to Raven, taking extra care to not wake or disturb the sleeping girl. As he laid down, his arm burned where it had been injured only minutes ago. The raw skin became irritated as pressure was placed on it, but he didn't care. He actually quite liked it. Knowing that Raven was an early riser and would be up in a few hours, he tried to fall back asleep. With the newfound relief spreading through his veins, sleep came easily to him, and he was out within minutes.