Heaven's falling

Episode V: Talk at the fire

Although it had only taken her seconds to put up her indifferent face again, Poe had noticed by her reaction that he had made a point with that statement. "No, I don't. But I don't care about it," she told him, turned around and continued to work. Poe wanted to continue telling the story of him and Finn, but a look at the auburn haired woman showed him that, with his speech, he had damaged whatever friendliness had existed during the last days. Deciding not to pressure it further, he continued to work in silence instead.

At some point, their silence was disturbed by the smell of something burning creeping through the cave they temporarily called home. "What is that smell? Is there something...?" Poe started a sentence, which made both of them look to the fire. A small stick seemed to have fallen down from the fire right onto one of the furs lying nearby to dry. Because of that, the fur in question was slowly burning down, smouldering and stinking badly.

The resistance pilot was the faster one to stand up. He walked over to the fire quickly and extinguished the flames with his boot. He then eyed the half burned off fur critically. If you cut off the burned parts, it was maybe still usable to warm feet or as a scarf. But did definitely not looked like it was able to work as a blanket as it had the night before. The pilot looked over to the woman. "Seems like tonight we indeed have to cuddle, because now we only have one fur left as a blanket. Which is mine, by the way," he told her slightly amused while holding up the rest of the fur. The other pilot shot him a deadly glare and snorted. "Fuck off. I have my spare clothes. And even if I not, I'd rather freeze to death than sharing the fur with you," she replied in an annoyed tone.

Poe sat down opposite of the fire, smirking about her tone. He did not expect it to be so easy to provoke her. The First Order soldiers he had met before never got emotional in any way and did not care about anything. But it seemed he had found an example that was different. It was nothing to be amused about, but he couldn't help himself to be. "So we are back to hostility?" he asked amused. Alex turned her back towards him again and continued to carve the wood. "You decided that," she responded without turning. "Oh come on Alex. You had your part in provoking that. Let's not make this more difficult than it already is," he demanded in a friendly tone. His counterpart still did not turn and continued to work. "Like I could make it any more difficult. According to you, I am similar to a droid and don't think about anything I am not programmed for," she replied, trying to make it sound indifferently. But the resistance fighter knew on instance that this was not the case just by looking how she treated that branch below her.

"I didn't mean it like that," he said, hoping to pour oil on troubled water. "How did you mean it then?" she asked, still annoyed and turned to look at him. Poe gave her a sincere smile and scratched his head. "I just talked myself into a rage. When I do that, I don't really think about what I am saying. Yes, I do believe there are things about the universe you don't know. I just should have said it in a less drastic way. You are not a droid. It's even the opposite. You have already proven to be able to do many more things than I expected from you. And the last thing was just something that came into my mind. My friend Finn, the one I stole the TIE-fighter with, has been a stormtrooper before we met. He told me that he doesn't know his family. I shouldn't have used that." "Whatever," she replied and turned back again.

But Poe did not give up so easily. "Listen, there are some topics we better avoid. In some points our opinions on are contrary. It would only end badly, if we talk about those things. That's what I wanted to do in the first place, before you decided to pressure it further. It's also what I should have done. I promise I won't bring it up again, okay?" Alex took put her knife back to her boot, watching her finished work on one of the skids. To be honest, she only did that for a simple reason: To get time. Exactly the amount of time she needed to think about it.

It was not like he had been completely wrong about the First Order dominating her life. But on her opinion, it was not because they wanted to keep secrets from her or control her. The just filtered, correctly, the unimportant stuff from the important. She trusted the First Order and the information they gave her. For the Resistance, who just by definition had to consider everything the First Order did as something bad, that would maybe qualify as paternalism, pretending she was unable to think herself and never question anything the First Order told her. Of course she was able to do that, but she never saw any reason to do so. The only point that disturbed her was the thing about her parents. That was something deep down inside her he had hit by saying that. The First Order surely had good reasons for not telling her and the others where they came from, but she did not really understand them. She had to admit that in some nights, she had asked herself how she had gotten into this world and why her parents had given her to the First Order.

He was also right about the avoiding of certain topics. In many points Poe and she were completely different. Alex had not expected it to be easy to work with him on their escape from this ice cube of a planet, but until now, contrary to her expectations, it had worked quite well. Of course she could try to leave on her own now by leaving him behind or killing him. That just did not make any sense as she would not gain anything from it. It might be better to just swallow all the words she wanted to say. The moment they had successfully left this planet she would never have to think about it again. "I guess since we have to work together we should leave it at that."

Do you still want to hear the rest of the story?" Poe asked later when they were sitting next to each other at the fire, eating. She took a bite from her dinner. "You've already spoilt it. You stole it with your stormtrooper friend." He bit his lip, quite disappointed. "I did, didn't I? That's how I met him. He needed a pilot and found me."

She didn't understand how somebody could betray the First Order like the unknown stormtrooper called Finn. Especially not considering what they did for their soldiers and for their goal of making it a better universe. Yes, the training was hard and tiring, but they were never treated badly. Alex knew the resistance was telling stories about them being punished inhumanly for not doing well. Sometimes they were punished indeed, but she did not see anything inhuman in that as everyone had the possibility to avoid it by just doing their job. And if they were punished, there was always a good reason for it. It was not understandable for her how somebody could want to leave that secure and structured life they had. Although there was the possibility to die honourably in battle, this was surely better than for example living on this shithole of a planet.

"I was quite surprised about how well they fly," he then told her She raised an eyebrow on that. Poe smiled innocently. "I had suspected less. I have to admit, I liked flying that thing. It's quite agile and fast. Unfortunately, I couldn't figure out all the controls in time." "Why not?" He smiled and bit his lip. "I crashed it." That's when she started to laugh. "You crashed it? Didn't they say that you are supposed to be the best pilot of the resistance?" she told him with a chuckle. "I'd like to see you flying an X-Wing, having never flown it before, being shot at and with a gunner that never had been sitting inside one of your TIE Fighters either," he replied, slightly hurt in his pride.

"Why were you flying in a single seated one anyway?" Poe then asked to change the topic. "Or is that classified?" "Why do you ask?" "Because your uniform says you are a Special Forces pilot, but the TIE-fighters Special Forces have two seats, don't they? Yours only had one," he told her. "Well observed. Mine used to be a two seater before, but the second seat has been removed as I don't have a gunner." "Died?" "No. I just don't have one." "They allow that?" "When your results show you're better off or similar without one, yeah. Additionally, I had the small problem of finding someone that could handle my style of flying without getting sick inside the fighter. So they decided to move the weapon controls and allow me to shoot myself." Poe laughed. "Wouldn't it be easier to take a single seater instead?" "The reason for that is confidential." He nodded. "Didn't expect that, did you?" she asked He shook his head. "Not really."

Poe then looked at her with a grin. "You are sure you don't want to cuddle?" She glared at him again. "I already told you to fuck off," she responded. "I know. But now I can see from here that you are freezing," he told her. "I'm fine." Poe looked at her and could already see by her shivering fingers that she was lying. "You're not. As far as I see it from here, you have three options. Freeze to death is, although you claimed otherwise, surely is none worth thinking about. The second one is to stay where you are, which will work for another hour or so before you reconsider your decision. Or you can just spare both of us the trouble and you the misery of asking me later and come here right away. I won't bite." She sighed, knowing he was right about it. Her spare clothes were short sleeved and with that not made for this kind of temperatures. Putting them under or over her actual clothes would not have much effect.

Reluctantly she nodded. "Fine. But I warn you. Don't try anything strange." The resistance pilot shook his head. He was not blind, so he had noticed that she was rather attractive. Poe also had to admit she was kind of cute, but the fact that she was a First Order soldier made her an absolute No-Go. "Contrary to what your people say about me, I am quite picky. And honourable… most of the times at least," he told her amused and showed her with a movement of his hands where she should sit down so he could put the fur around both of them. She followed his instructions and sat down right in front of him. Not content with the way and the distance of her sitting, she felt his hands touch her by her hip cautiously and pull backwards closer to him until she was sitting in between his bent legs. She wanted to protest and remind him of what he said, but then she understood that otherwise the fur would not be long enough to go around both of them. He let go of her hips and placed the fur around her shoulders and over her legs.

"Better?" he then asked. The closeness to the enemy and especially to him made her uncomfortable, although it was definitely warming her up. So she preferred to stay silent. He on the other hand did not seem to be uncomfortable at all. "I'm sorry about the smell." She turned her head to look at him. Poe gave her a cute smile. "You said you'd rather cuddle with a wampa. It's quite possible I smell like one by now." Alex started to laugh imagining one of the hairy animals in his bright orange flight suit. The resistance pilot looked at her. Smiling suited her more than the serious face she was usually wearing.

"Don't worry, it's not that bad yet. Even if it was, I guess I won't smell better. Once I'm back, I will have the longest shower ever registered in the universe." He nodded. "I think I will have to be soaking in the bathtub for minimum an hour to lose the stench," he confirmed. "Do you even have a bathtub in the resistance?" He grinned. "Maybe…" She raised an eyebrow at that. "I don't know what you expect our infrastructure to be, but we are not camping in caves without electricity and sanitary facilities like you and I are doing now" "If you say so…" "I'd give you a tour, but we both know I'd have to kill you afterwards," he said and started to think about the base he called home. He missed the crowds running around, his bed, the food, BB-8 and his comrades. "You know, I would offer to give you are tour, but we both know that I will have to kill you afterwards," he continued.

"You on the other hand are surely already familiar with our infrastructure." Alex already regretted saying that after the words left her mouth. They had agreed on ignoring that topic and she had brought it up again. Thankfully he just grinned. "Not really. You know, being tied to a chair doesn't enable you to see much of it. But next time, I'll make sure to ask Kylo Ren to give me a tour," he replied with a twinkle. "I shouldn't have brought that up again, sorry," she apologized. "No problem. I think we still have to get used to avoiding certain topics."

Several minutes of silence later, Poe decided he had to bring something up again or the situation of them near the crackling fire, sharing a fur would be too awkward. Especially as he had no idea where to put his hands. Until now he had put them on his knees, but that was a bit uncomfortable. "Tell me something about yourself, Alex" he then said. "So you really want to try some light chat?" "Why not?" "Well, because maybe you should try a different topic. I don't think there is much to tell about me…" she told him. He smiled at her again. "Come on. There must be something you can tell me about you." "You know my real name, which you are consequently not using, the fact that I am a Special Forces pilot and have no idea which planet I am from or who my parents were. Is there anything else for you to know?" she asked. "Where do you live?" She raised an eyebrow and glared at him. "Nice try. The name and location of my base is as classified as yours." He grinned. "I was worth a try." "Didn't we promise not to ask about classified things?" "We did. I just couldn't help it. Won't happen again."

"When is your birthday?" he then asked to make her tell him at least something. She shrugged. "I don't know." "You don't know when your birthday is?!" "Not the exact date. The official counting starts the day I was registered in the First Order. But you know it's kind of rude to ask a woman about her age?" she asked amused. "Is it? I always thought women tend to be flattered if you guess them younger than they are," he replied. "Do you always do that?" "What?" "Lie to women about how old you guess them to be just to flatter them?" He bit his lip and nodded. "Sometimes…Depends on whether I need her to have a favourable opinion about me. By the way, I'd estimate you to about 25…" he told her. So there was the charming man people were talking about again. She was confident that he knew exactly what he was doing when he talked to women. "Charming… You want me to have a favourable opinion about you?" she inquired. "No. In your case I just want to survive this conversation," he told her with a smile. "And what if I don't care how old I am?" "I'd still estimate you to be somewhere under 30…" "27…" she admitted. "You see? I was not that far off then."

"And since when have you been flying?" he continued to again change the topic and keep her in the relaxed state he noticed she was getting into. She was not sitting in front of him like someone put a stick up her arse anymore. "Since I was nine, why?", she wanted to know. "I'm just curious. I've seen you up there. It was insane." "Shall I take this as a compliment?" "You can." "You know, actually I was supposed to become a mechanic." The resistance pilot looked at her surprised. "You're joking…" She smiled and unintentionally leaned back a bit, what encouraged Poe to move his hands from his knees and put them on her sides. "No. I was re-evaluated when I was nine after I sneaked into the flight simulator three times…" she admitted. He laughed. "My teachers did not actually consider it that funny. After several hours of reconditioning they put me in I did not do so either. But in the end I got what I wanted. The possibility to take the pilots test. I don't want to know what would have happened if I had failed that it. They were not amused, but the results spoke for themselves. And the First Order does not object to its own data.

For the resistance it would have been something good if she had stayed just a mechanic. But the part of Poe that liked challenges thought it would have been a waste. "Why did you do it?" he asked curiously. It was quite uncommon on his opinion that someone inside the First Order dared to question his designated role. "What? Sneak into the simulator?" He nodded as a sign that he was talking about this. Alex smirked. "I guess because I have always been addicted to everything that flies. I always knew that all I ever wanted was to fly one of those beautiful things and not only to repair the engines a thousand times," she told him. That was something Poe could comprehend completely. He could not imagine a life as a mechanic either. "You know, in some points I guess we are not so different at all", he replied and pulled the fur closer around them.