You Almost Loved Me
Chapter Three: One Drawer Too Many
Readers: I've got the itch. I've been devouring Hameron fan fiction like mad and just want to keep writing! I realize I want to go back and fix some things in the last chapter- a few stylistic errors and the line breaks are missing to separate scenes and moments in time- sorry about that but I hope it was still enjoyable.
I just rewatched Saviors again to make sure I was getting all the emotional subtleties and when House confronts Cameron about why she's still hanging around in the ER I SWEAR that he seems truly disappointed that she doesn't want him; their tension and relationship dynamic is always so greatly played.
Okay, well enough rambling. Thanks for the encouragement and might be three chapters left!
The Next Day...
House had benched Cameron from the case of the environmental nut and put his "first string" team on it; they still had nothing but it worked in getting both Cameron and his team out of his hair long enough to go talk to Wilson. What? It's not like he ever kept a promise. Why start now?
Wilson's door is cracked and House uses his cane to push it the rest of the way open. "Guess who's getting laid tonight?"
Wilson glances up from the case file he's skimming through and looks up at House, utterly confused. He shrugs. "I'm assuming you've come to tell me, so why should I bother guessing incorrectly."
"You we're so wrong yesterday. Cameron isn't happy in the ER and she isn't happy with Chase." House is gloating, feeling like he's finally regained his mojo.
"You have no idea of knowing that, unless…" Wilson's eyes widen. "She kissed you?"
"Well, technically I kissed her and then she reciprocated." House grins.
"No." Wilson shakes his head in disbelief. "Wow. This is... wow. But should you really be messing with Cameron's love life? It's not like you're interested in her. Wait, are you interested in her?" Wilson pries.
House shrugs. "I'm interest that she's still interested and I've totally always wanted to tap that." He feels like a devious little kid; toying with Cameron has always been fun and she's wrapped around his finger again.
"House," Wilson begins to reprimand his friend. "Don't mess with Cameron's feelings just because you can." He sighs as House mimics shooting the air with his cane like a machine gun. "This is falling on deaf ears, isn't it?"
"Totally getting laid." House can't wipe the grin off his face and gleefully leaves Wilson's office. He's still got a case to solve before he can continue seducing Cameron- just for fun.
As House ambles down the hallway his team catches up to him, falling in step.
"The patient was screaming in agony." Foreman informs.
"Well, either you messed up the test for vascular pulsations or he's a big wuss." House retorts.
"We ruled out tumors or an aneurism and his bone density is normal." Thirteen informs him.
"Hm, so we can rule out metabolic bone disease." House muses, gears turning in his mind.
"The bone covering might not be normal." Taub supplies. "If it's osteomyelitis, an infection eating away at his periosteum-"
"That explains the pain. Odds are it's a subclinical infection that we made worse with the steroids. Start him on IV antibiotics and X-ray his legs to confirm osteomyelitis."
Thirteen rolls her eyes. "You already made Cameron do a full set of lower-body X-rays."
House turns to her. 'Idiots.' He thinks.
"The infection obviously flared. Do them again." He orders before pushing the elevator button to go down.
"Where are you going?" Taub questions.
"To sweep a flaxen-haired maiden off her feet." House winks, stepping into the elevator and heading down to the ER.
She shouldn't be moping. It's her fault Chase broke up with her. She especially shouldn't be moping in the ER where anyone can, and probably will, pester her about her love life. Cameron looks up from the file she's pretending to read when she hears the familiar thump of a cane followed by the squeak of gym shoes. Speaking of someone bothering her…
She sighs. "What do you want, House?"
He stops on the other side of the main ER desk. "You and Chase are over." It's a statement not a question.
"We-…" Cameron begins to respond when House interrupts her.
"You decided that his single drawer of clothes is one drawer too many. But you didn't have the guts to tell him. So… You're emotionally walking away instead of actually walking away. Which is stupid 'cuz only one of those is good for your heart." House supposes. It makes way more sense then the fact that she has been holding a torch for him all this time; he doesn't think she's that naive anymore.
Cameron avoids House's eyes. "That would've made sense. If he hadn't broken up with me yesterday." There's a long pause before she continues. "I told him we kissed."
House glances up at her. "Oh."
Cameron fiddles with the file in front of her. "Yeah."
Their eyes briefly meet and her's search his questioningly, hoping for any sign of feelings. He doesn't look away immediately. He almost seems guilty. Cameron hadn't expected that- gloating she'd expected, lewd comments, but actual guilt? It surprises her to say the least.
House looks away first. "Oh."
Cameron lets out the breath she realizes she's been holding. "Yeah." It's all she can manage to say at this point. They're both a little speechless, neither one of them wanting to delve deeper into the topic.
Their eyes meet again but his walls are back up- betraying nothing and she can feel her stomach flip, bile rising in her throat. She's been so foolish- thinking House could feel anything for her but lust, or think anything of her other than a good lay. She needs to get away before he can read her like an open book; she can't take the degrading comments, but she's frozen in place, wanting him to say something- anything.
"You wanted Chase to break up with you." He states. It's an obvious conclusion.
Cameron shakes her head. "No."
House rolls his eyes, pursuing the line of conversation. "It was easier to avoid him. To keep bringing me cases. To hang around my department. Easier then facing your own feelings and the inevitable." She seems hurt, but had she really expected him to be anything other then blunt?
"You're wrong." She replies softly, but there's no anger in her voice. There's only defeat.
"Chase was the safe choice, the easy choice." House presses on. "You knew I was never going to love you back, not the way you loved me. So you insisted that you didn't like me anymore. You pushed it to the back of your mind and distracted yourself with Chase. You never really loved him." House knows he's being forward and crass, but that's just the way he is- people don't change.
"What do you want me to say, House?" Cameron is raising her voice in frustration and the doctors around them start glancing in their direction. "That you're right? That I've always been in love with you? Is that what you want?" She feels so emotionally drained. The past two days have taken a toll on her and she's done playing nice as House chips away at her carefully constructed resolve. Screw it.
Cameron throws up her hands. "If that's what you want, fine! I've always been in love with you. Happy?" She shouts. She's breathing heavily, her cheeks are flushed, and she slowly realizes that everyone is staring at them. She leans over the desk, lowers her voice, and glares at him. "What are you going to do about it?"
House meets her stare and says nothing; he turns and walks away.
Cameron takes a shaky breath and fights tears, rushing to the safety of her office before they can fall.
He'd finally solved the case- the guy had sporotrichosis. He'd gotten the infection from the thorn of a rose. Idiot tried to fix his marriage by throwing away all his principles and buying flowers- a cheap marital aid. Of course the nut isn't going to change and his marriage will continue to suck. All marriages suck because everybody lies. Two constants in every case.
At least the case kept him busy, now that it's over he needs to get out of the hospital before Cameron can find him and yell at him some more. Or he'll probably make her cry or some other emotional thing that he doesn't want to deal with after a long day of idiocy from his team and his patient. He doesn't want to admit that he'd fucked up by kissing Cameron, but he'd definitely fucked up- not like he can change that now but he doesn't exactly feel like apologizing either. All these unnecessary emotions are getting to him. Nothing a night of music and scotch can't fix.
House sighs and enters his office, starting to pack up his things. He wonders if he should go talk to Wilson again about what to do. Wilson will likely just tell him to apologize, which he should, but he won't. It shouldn't be this hard and he shouldn't care that he's hurt Cameron's feelings; he's done it hundreds of times. So then, why does he care? Yeah, avoiding her for the rest of his life currently seems like the best option.
Thankfully, Cameron makes it to the end of the day without seeing House again. It's not like she can avoid him forever but she doesn't feel like dealing with him again, not now. She doesn't want to get angry, or cry, or yell, and he's likely to cause all of those emotions.
She sighs, heading to the locker room to gather her things. Of course there's Chase, putting on his shoes and grabbing his stuff.
She can't avoid Chase forever either. "Hey." She breathes, exhausted.
He doesn't even look up. "Hey."
"I'm sorry." She doesn't know what else to say. It won't fix anything but it needs to be said.
Chase sighs and looks up at her finally. "What do you want me to do? Forgive you? What exactly do you expect me to say?"
Cameron shakes her head, cursing the tears that start falling. "I don't expect you to say anything. I just couldn't leave without saying something."
Chase nods and reaches into the bottom of his locker. "Found some more of your stuff." He hands Cameron a shoe box and steps back, being as detached as he can. "I was going to propose."
Cameron wipes at her eyes and shock and confusion flicker over her features. "What?"
"On our vacation, the one I spent a week planning, I was going to propose." Chase sighs and shakes his head. "Good thing I found out how you really felt before we could get a divorce."
Cameron can't hold back her sobs. She'd never meant to hurt him, but he's right, better now then later.
Chase places a hand on her arm gently. "I'll see you."
A bluesy piano melody drifts out of House's apartment. He's sitting at the piano, eyes closed, swaying a bit to the melody. There's a half-empty glass of scotch sitting on top of the piano. Music is good therapy, it keeps his mind busy. He pauses to take a swig of his drink before gliding his hands over the keys and resuming the song.
Cameron stands outside of the door, listening for a few minutes. The music is soothing but her heart is hammering in her chest. She knocks, no answer. She figures he can't hear her over the piano. It's pointless knocking again, so she tries the handle. The door opens and tentatively she steps inside, closing the door behind her.