Chapter Four: It's Always Been You
Notes: I think this is going probably the hardest chapter to keep House is character. Hopefully I'll do alright. This is technically the final chapter but I'm writing an alternate ending too, because you all seem to want more action- but honestly I think the story would be more likely to go this way if it had actually occurred in the episode.
If you'd rather just skip to the "action" and yes I mean the double entendre, then I'd move on to chapter 5, (once I post it tomorrow) Sorry innerurge1 no hot sex yet ;P
Also look out for my next fic set during "All In" you know the one with the "little red dress". I'm pretty sure it'll just be titled "All In".
Cool, well thanks for sticking with me through this journey! I've loved the support!
For a moment House is too focused on the music to notice her. But she clears her throat and he looks up. It's clear she's been crying. He isn't sure what to say. She stands near the door awkwardly and he doesn't make a move to get up.
He polishes off the rest of his drink before attempting conversation. "Crying over centrifuges again?" The joke is a weak attempt at breaking the tension, but she still smiles.
"No." Cameron shakes her head, stepping further into House's apartment.
"You're not here to yell at me again are you? Because I might need a refill then." He holds up his empty glass and gestures towards the bottle on the coffee table.
Cameron walks forward and brings him the bottle, pouring a generous amount of the amber liquid into his glass. Her hand lightly brushes against his as she hands back his drink.
"I don't know why I'm here." Cameron admits, sitting down on his couch.
"Please, make yourself at home." He's trying to be sarcastic, but the offer almost sounds genuine.
"Want a drink?" House offers awkwardly. He's not exactly used to being a good host.
She shakes her head. "I'm alright, thank-you."
He clears his throat. "Sure."
There's a long pause between them- a heavy awkward silence. He doesn't know what to say; she came to him. The ball isn't exactly in his court.
Cameron glances in his direction; their eyes meet briefly; she decides it's now or never.
"Chase was going to propose." She says quietly, tears beginning to fall despite wishing that she could stop losing her composure, especially in front of House.
"Going to blame me for ruining your relationship with Chase?" His brow quirks; he expects her to. She doesn't respond right away.
She shakes her head 'no', but still looks crestfallen and House has no idea what to say; he's not exactly the comforting type.
"You feel guilty for kissing me." She states.
So, it's going to be one of those talks- one where she tells him how he feels and why he acts the way he does. Isn't that so three years ago? Where's his strong, snarky Cameron? The one that can stick up to him and play his games. Did he really do that much damage with a few make-out sessions? He polishes off his third drink and avoids eye-contact.
"Why?" Cameron presses. It's not a hopeful or prying question. It's a question that solidly demands an answer.
"Brief lapse in judgement." He shrugs; not entirely certain if he's referring to the guilt or the kiss itself.
"Don't do that." She's frustrated with him. "Don't deflect with sarcasm."
"What do you want, Cameron?" He's frustrated, dozens of barbs circle through his mind and sit on the tip of his tongue. He can easily upset her and get her to storm out, never broach this thing between them again. So then why can't he bring himself to do it? It's because he doesn't want to crush her- he promised a long time ago he never would. Besides, he'd started this thing between them, whatever this "thing" was and yeah- he does sort of feel guilty.
"I'm sorry." It doesn't sound completely sincere but he tried his best.
"What?" She's completely startled by his admission.
"You've never heard an apology before?" House grumbles.
"I just never expected to hear one from you." Cameron smiles, actually smiles at him, despite everything she's been through today. "Thank you."
"Yeah well, I must be more drunk then I thought." House quips. He breaks their eye contact and takes another sip of his drink. "You're welcome." He grumbles reluctantly not sure where his sudden attempt at niceties is coming from. He debates playing the piano again but before he can make up his mind Cameron clears her throat.
"After Kutner… We're all a little freaked out. We go home, we just wanna hug someone. We just wanna know everything's gonna be okay..." She looks over at House, meeting his intense blue eyes, trying to convey what she wants; what she's always wanted- him. She doesn't expect him to respond, but he doesn't look away, which surprises her; she almost sees compassion in his eyes. Cameron knows that Kutner's death affected House more deeply then he'd ever admit to himself.
"I can't be that guy, Cameron. I never could and I can't change now." House shakes his head. "People don't change." What he's trying to say is he can't give her the comfort she needs- he doesn't know how.
Tears glisten in her eyes and threaten to fall again. "I know." Her smile is bittersweet. She gets up to leave and House isn't sure why but he doesn't want her to go.
"Sit down, Cameron." He grabs his cane and stands up from the piano bench.
"What?" She looks over to him like he's completely lost his mind.
"I said sit." He commands and she listens; she doesn't have the energy to fight or ask why. He limps over to the couch and places the blanket thats resting on the back of it over her shoulders, hands lightly brushing her neck. Then he hands her the remote and grumbles. "Get comfortable. I'll be right back."
She nods.
He grabs her the tissues from the side table and tosses them to her, before limping into the kitchen; he can't handle seeing her cry again.
He pulls a teapot from one of the cabinets and fills it with water before placing it on the stove to heat up. Then he rummages through another cabinet to find an assortment of tea. He can't comfort her with words but after everything she's been through today he can't be a complete bastard to her. He's not just going to kick her out while she's crying and an emotional wreck; so, instead of being a complete dick, he does the best he can.
House hears the TV click on and peaks out of the kitchen to find she's put on some old noir from the 40s that is playing on AMC; She has decent taste in movies. Well, that he hadn't expected, although she's always been the puzzle he could never completely figure out.
The tea kettle whistles shrilly and he turns off the heat and grabs a mug before filling it with the scalding water. He grabs the assortment of tea bags and limps back into the living room.
Cameron looks up at him as he places the mug on the table and tosses the tea bags onto the table.
"Didn't know what you liked so I brought a bunch." He sits down next to her, close enough that their thighs brush, causing Cameron to blush.
"Thank you." She smiles, finally seeming a bit more at ease. She chooses the chamomile and dunks the bag into her mug. "I really appreciate this."
He grunts in response.
She knows he can't handle talking about emotions anymore and Cameron doesn't expect him to- she knows with House this is a gesture of comfort and compassion- the best he can manage. It makes her smile, easing the pain that she's been feeling all day. She'd expected him to let her go, nothing solved, and never talking about their day again. She picks up the mug to warm her hands and takes small sips. Despite herself, she pushes him a bit further, leaning against his shoulder. She feels him stiffen and then is completely surprised when he puts an arm around her shoulders. Cameron hums happily, feeling more content then she has in weeks- hell, months.
She sets down her tea and takes this opportunity to glance over at him, trying to figure out what he's feeling. He meets her eyes and a flicker of actual caring passes between them. To her complete surprise, he leans down and kisses her gently; it almost rivals their kiss from two years ago; its slow, searching, and has a hint of passion behind it, but neither of them deepen the kiss or push things further.
They break apart for air and her breathing has quickened, cheeks flushed, but she doesn't want sex, not now, and she thinks he can almost sense that.
He looks into her eyes searchingly.
"Cameron," He starts, making sure she's paying attention and not daydreaming about a happy domestic scenario between them. "I'm not going to date you." He says bluntly.
Cameron laughs quietly; he would have to clarify something like that, more for himself then anything else- although she doesn't quite believe him. Regardless, she's not going to push him further, not tonight.
"I know, House. I wouldn't expect anything else." And she pulls him in for another sweet kiss.
Welp, that's the sweet sappy ending. I hope I kept House decently in character- the alternate ending will have angst and hot sex so if that's what you're hoping for I suggest you hold out for that ;)