So I just watched Sweet Sixteen and Goodbye. At first I was reluctant to watch the episodes because of Rucas spoilers and how their scenes don't seem to be a good thing but honestly I loved them. And in Goodbye everyone was talking about how Farkle's reaction was so important (like yeah I get they filmed Corey several times but still) it kind of scared me that Lucas's reaction didn't matter but I was pleasantly surprised with how he handled the news. I loved that Zay promised to take care of Lucas for Riley and that Lucas said he'd never forget about her. And like I cried when Lucas got up and asked for Riley to talk to him outside, and then afterwards when he was staring at her after she left. LOVED IT. Also, that scene didn't seem like a breakup to me the way non Rucas shippers were saying it looked like. But hey, I guess it's open to interpretation.
So basically what I'm saying is, even if GMW doesn't get picked up by another network, I'm very happy with the way MJ ended the show in regards to Rucas. My Rucas heart is so full right now and I'm sure you're all feeling the same way. (I'm still bitter about the cut scenes from previous eps though.)
Sorry for the relatively long author's note, I just felt the need to get my opinion out there especially because of the perceived Rucas negativity in the final episodes. (Side note: I don't like how the final shot of Goodbye was of Maya. Like come on, it should've been Riley.) On with the chapter!
Chapter Five
Riley couldn't believe her eyes. Was Lucas really there with her? Or was she just hallucinating? Her question was answered when he walked towards her and immediately pulled her into a hug. Riley couldn't keep herself composed while she was in his arms. She started to sob. He pulled away from her to look down at her and planted a kiss on her forehead. When he looked at her face, his smile quickly turned into a frown as he realized she wasn't crying happy tears. What Lucas had expected to be a sentimental reunion turned out to be a dramatic one.
"Riley, aren't you happy to see me?" Lucas looked at her with worried eyes. It wasn't the response he expected from her. He knew there was something wrong. He knew there was something wrong the minute he realized she was intentionally avoiding his calls and messages.
Riley looked down at her feet. She didn't respond. With him there, she had no choice but to tell him. She wasn't sure how much longer she could keep it from him. The guilt was eating her alive and she didn't like the feeling. She hadn't been able to sleep for the past few nights and this secret was taking an emotional toll on her. He needed to know. He deserved to know.
"I have something to tell you," Riley's heart was pounding in her ears. "I'm… a terrible person."
"No, you're not, babe," Lucas rubbed both her arms, trying to comfort her. She stepped away from him. It was the first time she had ever done that. And in that moment, Lucas knew this was something serious. And he had no idea what was about to come his way.
"Yes!" Riley said a little too loudly, lifting her head up to meet his evidently worried eyes. Looking into those eyes only added on to her guilt. She looked at her feet once again. Her voice softened, "I am."
"Riles…" Lucas couldn't help but feel sympathy for her. He hated seeing her like that. But he also hated that she pulled away from him. He furrowed his brows, "What did you do?"
Riley kept her gaze on the floor, she didn't know if she was able to look at him in the face again and she wasn't about to risk it. She was already on the verge of more tears. Words couldn't explain how guilty she felt. She mentally beat herself up over putting themselves in this situation. She wished there was a way to take it all back. She wasn't quite sure how she ended up here. Riley Matthews, the girl who always did what was best for everyone. Someone who was loyal to her family and friends. What had gotten into her? This was the worst thing she's ever done, and Riley Matthews wasn't a bad person.
She didn't answer him so soon. She let the tears fall down her cheeks and Lucas immediately wrapped his arms around her. The warmth of his touch made her feel remorseful all over again. She hated that he was giving her affection, especially when she gave her affection to someone else. Lucas softly squeezed her arm and buried his face in her hair. He couldn't bear to see her like that. She looked so helpless, and all he wanted to do was protect her from the world. He had no idea he was going to have to try to protect her from himself.
"I… I kissed someone else," Riley said softly. She wasn't sure if she said it out loud or if she had said it in her head, but the look on Lucas's face told her everything. She looked up at him with guilty eyes that threatened to release more tears. She couldn't help but notice his clenched jaw. That told her what she needed to know. He was angry, and he had every right to be.
Lucas released her from his grasp and took a couple of steps back. It took him a minute to process her words, and once he pinched himself to ensure he wasn't dreaming, he became furious. He balled his fists on either side of him and took a deep breath.
"Was it Evan?"
Riley hesitated, but she nodded in confirmation. She once again focused her gaze on her feet and put her hand on her opposite arm in an attempt to comfort herself. It didn't work. She didn't think anything could comfort her at all in that moment. All she wanted to do was run home, bury herself under her bedsheets and cry until she couldn't cry anymore.
Lucas shook his head, clearly showing how disappointed he was in her. How could she do that to him? They've been through hell and back, and now this? He scoffed and tried to focus his gaze on anything else in the room besides her. Unfortunately, his eyes landed on the photo of the two of them that rested on Riley's desk. They were so happy; unlike what they were feeling in their current situation.
"Please say something," Riley whispered. She looked up at him, but he clearly didn't want to look at her.
"I can't," his voice cracked. He shook his head once more. "Not when you threw away everything we had." He walked towards a wall and pounded his fist into it before raising his voice. "God, Riley! I gave you everything. And this is how you repay me? By kissing some guy you barely know?!"
"Lucas, please," Riley sobbed. "Let me explain."
"No," Lucas could feel the tears in his eyes. He wanted to hear the whole story, but at the same time, he didn't. Deep down he knew that Riley had probably prepared some huge apology that included excuses in regards to what happened, but there was no coming back from this. She violated his trust, and forgiving her would only give her the chance to do it again. He turned around to face Riley. "When did this happen?"
"Like two weeks ago," Riley shut her eyes and took a deep breath.
Lucas clenched his jaw. "Two weeks?! It happened two weeks ago and you didn't care to tell me? Riley, I thought I knew you better than that."
Riley opened her mouth to speak, but Lucas didn't let her. He took a step closer to her. Riley noticed the tears in his eyes.
"I don't know you at all," Lucas said harshly.
That was all it took to destroy the usually perky brunette. The pain in his eyes were far too evident to go unnoticed by Riley. It scared her, the way he was acting. And she hated that she was the one to blame for all of this.
Lucas decided he couldn't take it anymore, so he bit his lip and backed out of the room. He couldn't look at her, which was a new feeling to him. The past few years all Lucas ever wanted was to see Riley and be with her, but now? He just wanted to get away from her.
Once Lucas was gone, Riley broke down in tears. Her legs couldn't carry her weight anymore and so Riley ended up sobbing uncontrollably on the floor. Her breathing was uneven, and she wasn't sure if she'd able to breathe properly after how much she's cried. She didn't bother trying to get up, she felt that she deserved to be on the floor—in rock bottom. And she couldn't even blame anyone else, she did this to herself, to Lucas.
Riley remained on the floor for a couple of minutes after she got control of her breathing. She wiped her tears with her sleeve, not even caring about how dirty her sleeve got due to the smeared makeup all over her face. She was an absolute mess. How was she and Lucas going to bounce back from this? Was it even possible for Lucas to forgive her? Right from the get-go Lucas knew about Riley's insecurities entering the relationship. He promised her that there was never any other woman for him, and that it would always be her. Never in a million years did he ever think that Riley would cheat on him.
The guilt overcame Riley once again.
"Hey, I just saw Lucas," Evan said as he walked into the office. He furrowed his brows in confusion and scanned the room until his eyes landed on Riley, laying helplessly on the floor. "You okay?"
"You're not supposed to be here, Evan," Riley whispered. Since their confrontation days prior, Riley had made sure to schedule their shifts so that they would never see each other. So why was he there?
"I know," Evan replied. "I forgot my leather jacket and I'm going out tonight."
"I don't care," Riley shook her head. She took a deep breath and wiped her tears. "Just leave. I need to be alone right now."
"Can I help?" Evan offered.
"No," she shook her head. "You've already done enough."
"Riley, I get that you're upset with me, and you have every right to be," Evan said. "But I'm offering you some help. You look like you need some cheering up."
"I don't need your help," Riley said through gritted teeth. "Seriously, get out."
Riley was starting to get annoyed with Evan's persistence. When he didn't budge after telling him to leave, she quickly got up and smoothed her clothes. She tucked her hair behind her ear.
"Can you just please leave me alone?!" Riley shouted. Evan stared at her, stunned. Riley didn't wait for a response and headed towards the front of the bakery. She figured that she would drown herself in her work in order to distract herself from her thoughts.
After storming out of the bakery, he walked down the streets of Manhattan with no direction whatsoever. He just needed the fresh air to calm him down. When he decided he was calm, he arrived at an apartment building a couple of blocks from his. He let himself in and found Sienna sitting on the couch in the living room.
"Lucas?" Sienna's head whipped towards the door, surprised to see her older cousin standing there. She stood up.
Lucas, still angry about the confrontation he had with Riley earlier, said nothing and walked towards Sienna to pull her into a hug. He rested his head on hers and rubbed her back. He then began to sob. When he got his breathing under control, he pulled away from the hug and sat down on the couch with her.
"What are you doing here?" Sienna asked. She knew better than to ask why he was crying. Though Lucas was comfortable enough crying around her, he didn't like her acknowledging it. "Shouldn't you be in Texas right now birthing horses?"
"You sounded so upset over the phone last we talked," Lucas said softly, wiping his eyes. "I had a feeling you needed me. So here I am."
"What about Riley?" Sienna asked.
"She's not important right now," Lucas waved his hand in the space between him and Sienna. Sienna squinted her eyes, she saw right through him. As much as he loved Sienna, she knew that Riley was also a priority of his.
"You talked to her," Sienna assumed. It wasn't like him to disregard Riley like that.
Lucas sighed and nervously laughed, "I did."
Sienna didn't say a word, knowing he didn't want to talk about it yet, and rested her head on his shoulder. They sat like that for a while. Lucas was drowning in his thoughts and Sienna was just there to rub his back to comfort him. Lucas still couldn't wrap his head around what had happened. Riley… kissed Evan? How did that even happen? Did she like Evan? Why didn't she tell him sooner?
About half an hour had passed and Lucas finally decided to break the silence.
"You knew," he assumed, turning to face Sienna.
"Yeah," Sienna breathed. "I did."
"Why didn't you tell me?" Lucas asked. He wanted to be angry at Sienna, but he knew he couldn't be. Not when she was his source of comfort at the moment.
"I-I didn't think," Sienna began, then took a deep breath, "it was my right to."
"And why not?" Lucas retorted. "We're blood. You have every right."
"Because I knew it would hurt more coming from me," Sienna admitted. "I wanted you to find out from her. She messed up here, not me. She needed to fix things on her own."
"Oh, Sienna," Lucas sighed. "You should've told me as soon as you found out. Honestly, it hurt more from her because she took so long to tell me. When did you find out?"
"I was there," Sienna muttered, "when it happened."
"I'm sorry?" Lucas clenched his jaw. He wasn't sure if Sienna said what he thought he heard.
"I saw them kiss," Sienna said.
"Sienna!" Lucas yelled and stood up. His breathing got heavy and he balled his fists. He paced the room as he gathered his thoughts. Now he couldn't help but to be at least a little bit angry at her. She actually witnessed the kiss, and she still didn't bother to tell him? "God, how could you be so—ugh! Did Riley tell you to keep her mouth shut?"
"No, of course not!" Sienna replied. She felt her face heat up and her eyes fill with tears. "Well, I mean, she did afterward when I told her that I knew, but it was days after it happened. I told her I wouldn't tell you, as long as she promised she would."
"Doesn't matter, you should've told me!" Lucas threw his hands in the air. "Then maybe I wouldn't have bothered to go surprise her."
"You came back for her?" Sienna asked softly. She felt guilty. She knew how much Lucas was invested in his relationship, but the pain was inevitable. He was going to find out either way, from someone, and he was going to be crushed.
"Partly," Lucas confirmed, sitting back down beside Sienna. "She hadn't been answering her phone. I was worried about her, like I was worried about you. Now I know why she was ignoring me." He shook his head. "But mostly I came for you. You seemed like you were in a bad place. And you said it wouldn't have happened if I never left."
"Luke, it's true," Sienna said, allowing a few tears to fall freely down her cheeks. "If you stayed, you and Riley wouldn't have had this problem. I just wanted you to be happy. And you don't seem very happy right now."
"I'm not," Lucas laughed. "But you aren't either. What was the problem?"
"The Riley thing," Sienna confessed. "It killed me that I wasn't able to tell you. And I hated going to work. Everything about the bakery just ruined me. I hated seeing Evan. I hated seeing Riley. It killed me that every time I saw either one of them, I thought of you and how you had no idea what was going on. The day I confronted Riley, I couldn't take it anymore, so that was when I quit."
"Sienna," Lucas sighed, pulling her head into his chest. "You have the biggest heart of anyone I've ever known."
"And Riley?"
Lucas didn't answer. He knew Riley had a big heart too, but was questioning it after she betrayed him.
"I'm sorry," Sienna said. "For everything."
"It's okay," Lucas replied. "I hate that you had to bottle all of that up inside. I hate that you had to protect me, when I should be doing that for you. Maybe you're right. Maybe I shouldn't have accepted that internship. Maybe I should've just stayed in New York to help you adjust."
"Maybe Riley wouldn't have acted out," Sienna whispered. "I know you love her."
Lucas sighed and looked around the room, "I'm not sure if I still do."
"Maya, can you please come back to the bakery?" Riley said into her phone. She was still in shock from her encounter with Lucas and really needed her best friend.
"Why, honey, what happened with Lucas?" Maya asked. "Did you work things out?"
"H-h-how did you know he was here?" Riley replied. She began to play with the collar of her shirt out of anxiety.
"He was on his way in when I left," Maya answered. "Didn't say anything to him though. But by the sound of your voice I'm guess things didn't go well?"
"No, Peaches," Riley sighed. "I'm a mess and I need you here."
"On my way," Maya replied.
Riley sighed and put her phone down. She was doing a good job at keeping herself composed but she knew she would have another breakdown soon if she didn't have any support. And her only support was Maya. She was the only one in their circle of friends who knew what was going on. Riley couldn't bring herself to tell her other friends in fear of what they would think of her.
As Riley fixed the display case at the counter, she noticed Zay and Farkle run into the bakery. They stopped at the counter to catch their breaths. They had run all the way there from the nearest subway station. When they heard the news that Lucas was temporarily back in the city, they wanted to see them as soon as possible.
"We heard Lucas was here!" Zay panted, his hands on his knees.
"Where is he?!" Farkle aggressively asked, leaning over the counter to grab Riley's shirt.
Riley swatted Farkle's hands away from her and replied stoically, "Lucas isn't here."
"B-but, we heard he was," Zay pouted. He crossed his arms over his chest. "Maya said so."
"Was," Riley confirmed. "He left a while ago."
Farkle pouted. Then he noticed Riley's demeanor. If Lucas was back, shouldn't Riley have been happier than she was showing? Wouldn't she have asked Evan or Maya to cover for her so she could spend time with Lucas? Farkle figured something was up.
"Are you okay?" Farkle asked, evidently concerned. He could see right through Riley almost as well as Maya could. He's known her since the first grade, after all.
Riley nodded and swallowed the lump in her throat, "I'm fine. Go find Lucas, I'm sure he'll want to spend time with his best friends before he goes back to Texas."
It was Zay's turn to be suspicious. The tone in Riley's voice said it all. She struggled with her words. Zay realized something must have happened between the couple. He was shocked. He knew how strong Lucas's relationship was with Riley. Nothing could ever keep them apart. Distance must've taken its toll on them, he figured. Zay sighed. He and Riley had grown closer over the years, and it killed him to see Riley bottling up her feelings inside. But he knew better than to try to get the information out of her when it was clear she didn't want to talk about it.
Zay and Farkle exchanged looks. They knew exactly what they were both thinking. They decided to leave it alone for now and let Riley sort things out. Whatever Riley and Lucas were going through; their friends were certain they'd be able to work things out. They were Riley and Lucas, after all.
I cringed when I wrote that first scene. My babies seemed so helpless! I felt bad for both of them. I'm sure they'll work things out. What do you guys think?