Chapter 2

Church Hall

With men awaiting for CPT Mainwaring & PVT Frazier

SGT Wilson: "Oh lord 4'o'clock, over hour late, Alright men fall in, right since CPT Mainwaring has disappeared, I thought this would be a good training mode. So were going to look for him"

PVT Pike: "Uncle Arthur, you don't think they've been captured by Aliens. I've seen in the films normally the main two go missing they send out a search party. One by one they all go missing except for one, & then he finds the alien ship & then tries to get them out of the ship, but he gets on board the ship goes up & they all end up on another planet"

SGT Wilson: "Now really Frank, Anyway Jones & Pike I'd like you look in Warmington Woods, Fraz... out wait he's not here. Anyway Godfrey, Sponge I want you to look round the harbour. Okay I'll patrol near the red Lion"

PVT Pike: "I'm not going near no woods there could be a horrible person, mum says I'm must never go in the woods"

PVT Godfrey: "Mr Wilson, the looe at the harbour is closed for 2 days for cleaning & its long way for the toilets"

SGT Wilson: "Well tell you what Godfrey, I don't know if you heard of it but there is a pub up the hill up the harbour I've sometimes go in there its call The Anker" I'm sure they would let you use their toilets"

PVT Pike: "No matter about toilets what about me Uncle Arthur"

SGT Wilson: "Frank, Frank don't worry Jones is there with you, besides the woods is safe I sure you"

LNC Jones: "Yes don't worry Pikey you're with me. I've been to a lot of scary places but I've survived. During in the Sudan, Lord Kitchener always felt sorry for his scared men. He used to calm them down take them to his officer & had few drinks & came out all happy"

SGT Wilson: "Right men, now I want the rest of you to walk around town see if you can see them, I'm except you Jenkins you stay behind, & see if CPT Mainwaring & Frazier come back why were out"

LNC Jones: "Permission to speak sir, what if PVT Godfrey stayed here so he can be near the toilets"

SGT Wilson: "Well prabs Godfrey needs a change because he's hardly done any patrol in the last two weeks. Its somebody else turn, Now Come On, If no sight by 6'o'clock come back here"

The men leave the town hall

The Woods

It is pouring it down with rain in Warmington as a thunder storm is out as Pike & Jones are in the woods

PVT Pike: "Jones, I don't like lightning"

LNC Jones: "Neither me Pikey. Its 5'o'clock"

PVT Pike: "We've been in circles twice I'm tired & soaked. Mr Jones can we go to that pub we seen coming to the woods"

LNC Jones: "What the Wood Cutter Inn, we can't were on patrol"

PVT Pike: "Ye'h but we can't find here, let's go in to keep warm"

LNC Jones: "No we can't"

PVT Pike: "My mum won't be happy if she finds out I've been in a thunder storm, come Mr Jones could you fancy half a pint"

LNC Jones: "No, I fancy a whole pint, come on"

The Pub

They come in all wet

PVT Pike: "Hey this isn't so bad"

LNC Jones: "Yes lovely & warm let's go in"

They walk towards the bar

Barman: "Hello gentleman what get for you on this way day"

PVT Pike: "Oh hello I'll have half a pint, & Jones will have full pint"

The Barman is doing the tap

Barman: "Well gentleman I don't normally see you in here"

LNC Jones: "No were from Warmington, we usual go to The Red Lion"

Barman: "Ahh, were have two people from Warmington-On-Sea platoon there CPT & SGT, mostly were only CPT & SGT from Eastgate & Warmington, I think it's because this is the road to Eastgate what's 3 miles away from here. 5 Miles to Warmington, but this classed as Warmington when were closed to Eastgate"

LNC Jones: "Well I bet all that lot from Eastgate lot are all drunk"

Barman: "Well actually I normally get a lot of people from Eastgate. Than Warmington, Eastgate are not drunk normally. It's normally Warmington people"

The School

Are CPT Mainwaring & PVT Frazier are still at the school, in the library. As Frazier is sitting reading a book & CPT Mainwaring is walking round"

CPT Mainwaring: "You know I can't find one single geography book without swear words in it, kids don't take care of the books"

PVT Frazier: "Well sir you've been looking for a book for last two hours"

CPT Mainwaring: "It's just as well, what are you reading?"

PVT Frazier: "ER Nothing sir"

CPT Mainwaring: "Yes you are, it's your hand"

CPT Mainwaring snatches from his hands

CPT Mainwaring: "Nudes of 1940. You're not supposed to reading stuff like this. We've came here to learn. I don't know what's this doing a school library now come on let's go home it's 17:55 in the evening. We've missed parade, oh well I'm sure Wilson learnt them something"

CPT Mainwaring puts the book in his pocket

The Church Hall the next morning

All the men come in the church hall

CPT Mainwaring: "Well I must approaches about missing yesterday's parade. Also I dragging out this morning but since the inspector is coming we must look presentable"

SGT Wilson starts groaning

CPT Mainwaring: "What's up with you Wilson?"

SGT Wilson: "Oh sorry sir I didn't get much sleep last night"

PVT Pike: "I know he didn't get in till after midnight, mum was fuses he came in all drunk, mum jucked out I don't know where he slept"

SGT Wilson: "Frank"

CPT Mainwaring: "Well pull yourself together Wilson, you're supposed to keep example. Anyway men I hope you've done everything I told you yesterday morning"

So CPT Mainwaring orders the men to the station before CPT Mainwaring leaves & SGT Wilson. CPT Mainwaring starts limping.

CPT Mainwaring: "Oh well you see Elizabeth is a odd women one thing she sees out of place she goes berserk, like last night Frazier was reading Nudes of 1940, I took it off & I was going to throw in the bin. But I forgot & Elizabeth was going to was my clothes & she find in my pocket she kicked me & hit me. She also would let me come to bed I had to sleep on the sofa all night. I was trying to explain but she would not listen. Anyway let's get to the station"

THE END CREDITS