Rose tossed and turned in the too soft sheets. She had fallen asleep briefly but now it eluded her. Her blue eyes stared up at the ceiling, tracing the patterns which danced across it. The room was too strange, too unknown. Every so often her eyes deceived her into seeing movement. Her rational mind told her it was just a trick of the dark, but part of her felt scared regardless. She flipped over again, putting a pillow over her head in an attempt to block out the movement. Why couldn't she sleep? She cursed. How long had she been awake? How late was it? With a sigh she sat up, pulling the covers away from her and stepping out. The wooden floor was cold against her feet but she ignored it. Her fingers instinctively grabbed the diary as she walked out of the room, into the dark corridor. Slowly she moved towards the staircase, she knew the direction vaguely but not well enough. Occasionally she would press into some table or decoration and have to reroute herself.

Eventually she found herself in the kitchen. A candle flickered into life besides her, startling her. She watched it for a moment curiously. Did they have automatic lights? Her mother had told her that muggle's sometimes had such things, but their house did not. The kitchen itself was quiet, she had not crossed anyone's path as she wandered.

It was easy to find a glass and she poured herself a drink before settling down with her book. She rested her arm on the table and her head against that as she read, the book propped open besides her. Turning the pages she found, empty? Was that all? Another empty page. No, no, no. They had to be more. It couldn't end like that. Another empty page and finally…Writing. A different inked, scrawled clearly in a rush. It did not carry the same careful elegance that the previous pages had.

-x-

I fucked up. Bad.

Some of the girls had stuck alcohol into the school, we were drinking and decided to go for a walk in the dungeons. I ran into Severus, hugged him and then… I kissed Severus. I don't know why. I don't know who was around to witness it, I was not paying that much attention. He bolted the second he got a chance.
It was only a light kiss…. Fuck. I'm never drinking again. It was a bad idea to begin with.

Have I messed everything up? What if Lily saw? He'd never talk to me again…

Fuck, Fuck, Fuck, Fuck.

What am I going to do? Is he going to be mad at me? I did not get to see his expression. I am an idiot.

Everything had been going so well. He is a great friend too. I know I've neglected to write anything for a few days. We are, were, getting along great. We'd meet up and chat and spent time together. He was starting to open up to me. It's easy to be around him. Sometimes we just ignore each other as we do work, other times we talk. He hugs me goodbye sometimes, after the first time he hugged me he didn't but it started to develop more naturally.
I still have yet to talk to Lily properly, she seems to avoid us when we are together. Severus won't talk about why she does that, although I think he knows.

I am an idiot. How could I ruin a perfectly good friendship like that? He is honest about his opinions, does not say things merely too appease me. Fuck. How could I?

-x-

Rose stretched, blinking in the harsh light. Her bones ached. Had she fallen asleep reading? It seemed likely. Her eyes adjusted to the light of the kitchen. Wait. Where was the book? Her eyes flickered around, had she knocked it off the table? No. Fuck. How had she lost the book? Had someone stolen it? She cursed herself for falling asleep. Who would take the book? Why would someone have done that? What was she going to do? How would she find it? A thousand questions whirred through her mind. She stood up, once more scanning he kitchen. Maybe she had moved it in her sleep? No, she had never sleepwalked before and the crick in her neck told her she had not moved all night. The door into the kitchen was open, had she left it open? Uncertainty brimmed inside her. Maybe if she had closed it she would have woke up when someone stole her book. She could not leave the story there, she had to know what happened, how it ended. Even if nobody else knew. Her legs carried her out into the corridor, she did not really understand where she was going but she walked regardless. Occasionally she would check inside cabinets, pulling open drawers in a desperate hope someone had just moved it. Hopefully they had not read it, it was her secret diary, and she did not want anyone else to know the story before her. Eventually she creaked open door into a small sitting room. She could hear soft snoring. It was not the first room she had checked in desperation. Inside Scorpius' grandmother sat asleep in a large red chair. A book had fallen from her lap, Rose recognised the red leather. The fake dust cover had been removed and lay nearby. Rose cursed, the woman had clearly been reading it, although it lay closed. She would not know how far she had read. With a deep breath Rose crept into the room, tiptoeing. Desperate not to wake up the woman. Thankfully the room was small and she was able to grab both the book and the dust cover without making noise and shut the door behind her. A bubble of triumph ran through her and she stopped to reapply the cover. She knew it would become a problem, the woman would know she had reclaimed it when she was next seen with it but she would have to admit to stealing it from her to begin with. Rose decided it was best to remain quiet, pretend that she had simply woken up with the book as she had expected. She had to be more careful not to lose it in the future.