Still stuffed from a delicious roast lunch at the Leaky Cauldron and bearing gifts of books for Ginny, Hermione, Luna. and Percy and pranks for the twins, Ron and Harry stepped if not gracefully then at least not awkwardly from the Floo in time for Hagrid to escort them to the station and join their relieved siblings.
"Thank Merlin mum and dad were there." Percy greeted them. He walked them to carriages pulled by skeletal horse that made Luna and Harry freeze and the others didn't see. "Thestrals." Percy said, "They're real you can ask Hagrid about them when you see him this weekend. Now get in the carriage and enjoy still being small enough to fit six of you in one." Percy herded Ginny, Harry, Hermione, Luna, Neville and Ron into one carriage letting the twins separate to join their friends.
Percy slammed the door on them as he was joined by pretty blonde girl in Ravenclaw robes. She greeted him with a mushy kiss and with a wave and mouthed, "Behave!" Percy let her pull him away from their carriage.
Percy leaving their carriage seemed to be a signal for the thestrals to start walking back to Hogwarts. It was a jolting ride and the carriage cramped with six of them. Desperate for space Ron pulled Hermione in to his lap dodging and laughing as she tried to elbow him and get free until she settled and the others sighed and stretched out into the newly created space.
"Think space expansion charms like on the car would work?" Ginny asked as they arrived at Hogwarts and got out.
Ron dodged a flailing fist from Hermione and draped his gangly arms around Ginny and Luna towering head and shoulders above them in his too big robes.
"Why did you and Ron have to grow so much this summer?" Harry grouched as they found their places at the Gryffindor table. His head was level with Ginny and Luna with year but still shorter than either Neville or Ron.
"Mum thinks Ron's going to grow another foot this year." Hermione said craning up to meet Neville's eyes. She blushed at the word mum and glanced through her eyelashes at Ginny and Ron.
The first years were led in by Professor McGonagal once the rest of the school was seated. As she placed the Hat on it's stall a strange anticipatory silence fell, desire to know who would be joining their House fighting with desire to catch up with friends not seen for months.
The Hat's croaking song seemed to be conflicted as to whether it was on house unity, school unity or teaching standards. Hermione shook her head and said, "Lockhart, he's the only new teacher."
It was an uneventful Sorting, they gained ten new Gryffindors. One of whom was squeaky, over excited and took ten pictures before Professor McGonagal confiscated his camera for the night.
Dumbledore's announced their new celebrity Defence teacher, who smiled with gleaming teeth making girls all around shriek and blush, but no mysterious forbidden portions of the castle to everyone's relief.
Sleepy with full stomachs they trod the meandering route back to their beds in Gryffindor tower.
The next morning Gryffindor tower stumbled down to the first breakfast of term yawning and falling asleep in their porridge until Slytherin house arrived on mass with soft toy snakes around their necks. The snakes moved, rubbing their heads against their owners' necks and wandering down arms to hiss at each other.
Fred and George started sniggering, high fiving each other. Slytherin house on mass turned and glowered at them, the stuffed snakes hissing with their owners. "Okay, we did too good a job on that charm." George said.
"Are you sure they don't have teeth?" Fred asked over him.
Professor McGonagall stopped and stared at him as she passed by handing out timetables.
Now awake Hermione grabbed Percy's discarded paper and flicked through to the Wizengamot sitting reports. "Dad proposed a new bill, a dark object amnesty. It's not sponsored by anyone but Mr Malfoy really supported it." She said flicking through to again. "The Muggle Protection Bill was sent back for amendments." Ron started complaining but Hermione was still reading. "It was approved in principle there were quibbles over the exact punishments."
There were no major changes to most of their class, sure they were harder but Snape was still mean and biased against Gryffindor, History of Magic was still a snooze fest and midnight Astronomy classes still meant you drifted through next day. Defence against the Dark Arts was very different.
Second year Gryffindors had their first Defence against the Dark Arts class the afternoon of their first day back. It was in the same class room that had been Professor Quirrell's, to get there they walked down the same corridors as the first year Gryffindors until the second floor. There the enthusiastic first year saw Harry.
Looking like he was going to pee himself he bounced in front of Harry, "Hi, I'm Colin," He said, "Colin Creevey. I'm in Gryffindor too. D'you think - would it be alright if - can I have a picture?" He raised his camera that Professor McGonagal had unfortunately returned to him.
"I'm sorry," Harry said looking at Ginny for inspiration.
"So I can prove I met you," Creevey said eagerly, edging further forwards. "I know all about you. Everyone's told me. About how you survived when You Know Who tried to kill you and how -"
"When you get back to dorm," Ginny interrupted, "find our brother. He's a prefect, looks like Ron but even taller." Ginny pointed at Ron. "He'll help you get photos of the quidditch team and your dorm mates. Maybe other members of the house if they say yes."
Lockhart swept up in his turquoise robes with matching tie and handkerchief as Ginny finished her sentence. He paused to pat his hair and smile one of his well practised gleaming smiles before speaking, "What's all this, what's all this?" he asked, "Who's setting up photo shots?"
Ginny opened her mouth to speak but Lockhart had already seen Harry. He flung an arm out and repeated the trick of clamping Harry tight to his side. "Shouldn't have asked! We meet again, Harry!"
Ron shook his head minutely and Harry staid his foot. "Come on then Mr Creevey," Said Lockhart, beaming at Colin. "A double portrait, can't say fairer than that, and we'll both sign it for you."
"Our parents would disagree." Ron stepped forward. "They weren't happy about your assault of Harry during your book signing. You can't photograph a minor child without parental permission. That means mum and dad or Professor McGonagall while we're at school."
Ron nodded once, Harry yanked himself away from Lockhart and behind Ginny and Luna to recover feeling a spell hit Lockhart and seeing Hermione's wand disappearing up her robe sleeve and her slipping behind Neville as he turned.
They walked away from the confrontation up to the Defence classroom where Lockhart eventually joined them his hair a tangled mess.
"It was just a bat boogie." Hermione whispered.
Lockhart disappeared in to his office for ten minutes and returned with periwinkle robes and his hair reordered. He handed out a quiz which they were disgusted to find was all about Lockhart. The sextet conferring on the back row thought they knew the answers to the few questions that related to the course however dubiously but even Hermione's eidetic memory couldn't recall his favour present or colour.
They returned the test after half and hour of scattered talking and giggling from the girls and wasted a further ten minutes while Lockhart marked them and rewarded the owner of the highest mark, Lavender Brown, with a signed photo. She blushed, Harry and Neville pretended to retch to laughter from Ginny, Hermione and Luna.
Then the real fun started. Lockhart bent down behind his desk and drew out a large covered cage.
"Now - " Lockhart said, "I thought I would give you a taster of the course this year. The second year syllabus covers common pests. Creatures that aren't considered dark but are a nuisance that you are likely to come across living in a magical dwelling."
He swept the cover of the cage to show electric blue pixies. They were about eight inches high, with pointed faces and shrill little voices. The moment the cover was removed, they went wild gibbering, rattling the bars of their cage and pulling bizarre faces at the people nearest them. Seamus and Malfoy snickered from their separate sides of the classroom.
"Freshly caught Cornish pixies," Lockhart declared, "Who's had an infestation?"
When around half the class had raised their hand he nodded and said, "I understand there was a misunderstanding with the book list." He waved his wand and a little jerkily books flew out from beneath his desk one landing just about in front of every student. "This should have been the required book for this class."
Looking down at the books on their desks they could see Lockhart beaming up at them from A Guide to Household Pests.
"Turn to page 100," Lockhart said, "There I discuss common myths and methods of dealing with pixies. Who can tell me a common spell?"
"Peskipiksi Pesternomi," Seamus said still snickering, not bothering to raise his hand.
"Would anyone else like to offer a better suggestion or are you all willing to face these pixies with just that spell?" Lockhart looked around the room seeing Malfoy, Crabbe and Goyle snickering together, Dean and Seamus with their heads together whispering, Greengrass, Lavender, and Davis doodling hearts on their papers looking up besotted. To them he flashed one of his gleaming smiles before opening the cage door.
It was pandemonium. Pixies shot out in every direction like little mischief seeking rockets. Several shot straight through the window, showering the back row with broken glass. The rest proceeded to wreck the classroom; grabbing ink bottles and pelting them at students and walls alike, shredding books, tearing down pictures of Lockhart who screamed silently as their hair or robes were disfigured, throwing books and bags out the shattered window. Two pixies tried to grasp Luna by her long blonde hair and throw her out the window but Ron and Neville grabbed on fiercely while Ginny, Hermione and Harry cast freezing charms on any pixies nearby.
"Your spell, Mr Finnegan." Lockhart said in calm voice, "Or would you rather I cast?"
Seamus remained behind the desk he had ducked under. Sighing Lockhart rolled up his sleeves and brandishing his wand bellowed, "Peskipiksi Pesternomi!"
It had no effect. The pixie nearest Lockhart stuck its tongue out and blew a raspberry at him, seized his out stretched wand and threw it out the window. Lockhart gulped and dived under his own desk narrowly avoiding being covered in glass as pixies succeeded in ripping the candelabra loose.
The bell rang and there was a mad rush to exit with Lockhart leading. The last one out Ron slammed the door behind him waiting for Ginny and Hermione to cast every locking spell they knew before stepping forward.
"An interesting lesson." Hermione said.
"It was better than expected." Luna offered.
"Flitch is going to be in a fouler mood than normal when he sees the state of that room." Neville said.
"We better get a move on," Ron said, "or we'll be late for charms."