To Achieve Salvation

Part 1—Changes

Chapter 1: Running

Zelos sighed and glanced towards the clock. 9:30. He couldn't wait any longer to show up to the party. He was always fashionably late, which was a great strategy to avoid being caught at unpleasant engagements for too long (as well as perpetuating his reputation), but this celebration was important enough that he couldn't avoid it forever.

He glanced at himself in the full-length mirror and did a quick turn. He looked especially handsome tonight, if he did say so himself. His suit was a light blue that complemented his skin tone and brought out his eyes, and it had intricate silver detailing down the lapels and sleeves. His hair was in an elegant braid that trailed down his back, the fiery red intense against the pale color of his clothing. Draped across his side lay his sword in a fine sheath. The Chosen allowed himself a small grin. The ladies would be drooling tonight. In fact, if he could become surrounded by his hunnies all evening, he might be able to avoid the presence of his former companions.

As Zelos left his mansion and started on the short walk to the noble's convention center, he reflected on his group. It wasn't that he hated them, per se. It was just that he had never quite fit in. Being a triple agent, he had entered the travels with no intent of truly befriending those people. They were just means to an end; he was using them and they were using him. Or so he thought.

Over time, the swordsman had discovered how genuine the party was. Everyone fought with firm convictions, absolutely selfless. As for Zelos? Well, he was just looking out for himself. He had grown up in the uncaring world of the Tethe'allan nobility—anyone who befriended him always had ulterior motives. It was a selfish, cruel society. His past experiences made him unable to believe the sheer amount of trust the regeneration group had placed in him.

Things had never been the same since his betrayal at the tower. Sure, rescuing his companions from the traps and retrieving the aionis had dulled the sting a little, but the wound opened by his actions had never healed. No one had been sure how to act around him after that. The easy pattern of obnoxious teasing became awkward and uncomfortable, and despite the best efforts of Lloyd and Colette, a heavy silence would pervade across the group whenever he was present. As for Zelos himself, he could hardly bear to look at anyone's faces. When Colette beamed, her face alight with one of her radiant smiles, he could only see the tears in her eyes as he held his sword to her throat. When Sheena wore her trademark little half-smirk, the shocked and hurt expression she had at that cursed tower was all he could discern. Every visage just served as another reminder of what he had done, of what he had become. Of what he had always been. Zelos Wilder: Chosen One, Renegade, Cruxis Angel. The outlier of every group. The one who should never have been born.

He reached the grand doors and was let in without hesitation, greeted with deep, respectful bows by the servants. He chuckled lowly to himself. Tonight would be terrible. He was sure of it.

Despite all outward appearances, Zelos was an intelligent and perceptive man. Which is why the chosen cursed himself for making one of his uncannily accurate predictions: the party was indeed terrible. He was stuck in the midst of the dance floor, taking one of his many hunnies for a dance. The noblewoman he was entwined with—what was her name again? Georgia? Geraldine?—was in yet another fit of giggles, equal parts tipsy and annoying. She was pretty enough, although her outfit consisted of a ridiculous amount of ruffles and layers. She smelled like she had fallen into a vat of sickly sweet perfume, a sensation that was torture to the angel's heightened senses. Zelos had only grabbed her for a dance because he had spied Raine out of the corner of his eye. Granted, the chosen had a great appreciation for the half-elf; she had a cool, refined beauty and an elegant air, but she asked rather pointed questions. Besides, he thought with a sigh as he parted with the nameless girl, where there was Raine, there was usually—

"Hey look. It's the idiot chosen," a young, nasally voice broke through the small section of the crowd. Speak of the devil, and he appears.

"Oh. Hey brat." Zelos responded, stepping towards the half-elf with a dazzling grin, "Where's Presea? Did she get tired of that awkward stuttering you call flirting? Then fear not! The Great and Mighty Lord Zelos is always willing to share his knowledge of the opposite sex with the less fortunate male specimens!"

"I-I-uh—," Genis sputtered, his tiny fists shaking, "Ugh! I was just trying to say hi!"

Zelos put his hands on his hips and cocked his eyebrow. "Interesting greeting you have there."

"Like you're one to talk. Grr…just never mind!"

With that, the mage stalked away. Zelos put his fingers to his temple. He felt a little guilty; after all, he didn't hate the brat. Well, he supposed he could be glad that he had driven Genis away before the half-elf had had the chance to interrogate him about any racial policies.

"Charming as ever, I see," came a low, feminine voice from behind him. Sheena stood near the back corner, looking elegant in a dress of deep burgundy silk, a color that emphasized her exotic features.

Zelos put on his fetching smile. "Well hello, my violent, demonic banshee. You're looking especially ravishing tonight."

"Keep the perversion to yourself," Sheena huffed, flicking a few loose strands of hair away from her face, "Also, couldn't you give the kid a break? I mean, it's been a year since you've seen him last."

Zelos responded, matching her level of sass. "Hey, I don't talk to guys, remember? And besides, the brat started it. He was distracting me from taking in the sights and sensations of the evening. However, I will gladly pick up from where I was so rudely interrupted with you."

"Why you—" the summoner exclaimed, her anger causing the blood to flow to her cheeks. She raised her hand as if to strike him, but at that moment the quarreling pair were both hit with a sharp smack.

"Ow!"

"Not the face!"

Both Sheena and Zelos rubbed their sore heads and looked towards the direction where the painful hit had come from. The chosen's eyes gleamed in recognition.

"Raine! My cool beauty! It is wonderful to see you again."

"Geez! What the heck was that for?" exclaimed the irritated ninja.

"You're both acting like children. One would have hoped that a year would have granted you a little maturity," the half-elf replied, pushing her spectacles further up her face and maintaining her collected composure. She looked stunning in an elegant teal gown.

"I knew you missed me!" Zelos proclaimed, a goofy grin on his face. Out of the corner of his eye he caught a group of young noblewomen staring at him and giggling, so he sent a flirtatious wink in their direction. Gasps and shrieks burst from that section of the room. Sheena rolled her eyes, while Raine just sighed. The professor opened her mouth as if to speak when a high-pitched, though not unpleasant, squeal sounded out from across the room. The trio turned, startled, towards the direction of the noise, and Zelos was suddenly enveloped in a giant hug from Colette.

"Zelos! I'm so happy to see you again!" the blond angel cried in delight. She looked up towards him, beaming, her white and blue gown appearing dull in wake of her radiant smile.

Zelos was a bit squeamish. How could she be happy to see him? Had she been able to so readily forgive his betrayal?

Pushing his inner thoughts aside, Zelos returned her brilliant grin. "Well, hello there, my cute little angel. How have you been?"

"I've been really happy lately. Lloyd and I have been busy collecting exspheres, but it's so wonderful to travel across the united world."

After this, her smile faded as a thought struck her. "But I should be asking how you've been. You're the only person I haven't seen since we parted. What have you been doing?" she inquired.

That was fast. Colette had zeroed in on the very topic he had been trying to avoid. In a jovial tone, he said, "Oh, you know, the usual. Charming my sweet hunnies and being the epitome of sexiness!"

The Sylvaranti giggled. "You're so funny, Zelos," she replied, while Raine and Sheena sighed.

With that, she grasped his hand. "Come on!" the angel cried, dragging him behind her, "Everyone else is over here. I'm sure they'd love to see you too!"

Zelos was led across the ballroom before he had the chance to voice any objections or devise one of his normal excuses, with Sheena and Raine following behind. Oh well. This way, he could get the rest of the obligatory reunion over with and then avoid everyone for the rest of the celebration. He put on his showman grin as the rest of his former party members came into view. However, he couldn't help but note how the pleasant banter they appeared to have been enjoying came to a halt at his arrival.

"Oh, hey, Zelos," Lloyd said with a grin. "It's really good to see you! It's been too long." The duel swordsman was dressed in a fine suit that still contained a lot of red, although Zelos was relieved to see that there was no sign of suspenders anywhere. Lloyd himself was just a bit taller, but retained the same pleasant energy that Colette possessed.

"Or not long enough," Genis muttered from behind him, still disgruntled by redhead's earlier comment. The mage was standing beside Presea, wearing a suit that he must have chosen to impress the girl but made him look like he was attending a funeral. The axe-wielder herself had grown a bit, her body finally aging again, and was in a dress of a light pink material that matched her hair and brought a little color to her cheeks.

"Genis," Presea admonished, "That was unkind."

The small half-elf had the decency to look guilty, although he was more upset about drawing the ire of his crush than hurting the chosen's feelings. "Sorry," he murmured, adjusting his collar and looking towards Zelos for a brief moment before turning away again.

Zelos smiled towards the girl. "Thank you, my little Rosebud," he laughed, "Absence truly does make the heart grow fonder."

Presea said nothing to this, but wrinkled her nose in distaste. Genis gave a little strangled growl, but remained still as well. An awkward silence fell over the group. Sensing this, Regal cleared his throat and began the conversation anew. "Greetings, Chosen. How has this past year favored you?"

Ever the formal president. Although no longer wearing handcuffs (thank Martel), he still carried himself stiffly, his hands clasped in front of him. His long, blue hair was brushed back over his shoulders, and he wore a classic tuxedo that was probably some sort of Lezarano product.

The magic swordsman groaned. "Come on, Regal," he whined, "I think we know each other well enough that you can just call me Zelos."

The executive gave a small nod. "My apologies, Cho—Zelos. I simply thought it best to refer to you by your formal title in this atmosphere."

The group was faced with another bout of silence. Sheena tapped her foot, impatient, and Genis was sending furtive glances at Presea, who remained as oblivious as ever. This time, however, it was Lloyd who broke the quiet, his confusion evident as he asked, "Wait a minute. You're still the Chosen?" The dual swordsman stared at Zelos. "Wasn't that title dropped after we reunited the worlds?"

Colette nodded in agreement. "According to the Sylvarant church, I'm no longer the Chosen. Why is that different with you? I mean, we all know how much you hate being the Chosen…" The blonde angel trailed off after that statement, shifting a little.

All seven pairs of eyes were on him now,. Well, crap. This was exactly what he had hoped to avoid.

Laughing off the stares of his companions, Zelos replied airily, "Well, I wanted to have a few final…get-togethers with this title. It's really the only thing it's good for."

"Get-togethers?" Lloyd queried, widening his eyes in confusion. "You mean parties like this? Wouldn't you still come to these things anyway?"

Sheena grunted. "Yeah, sure. That's exactly what he means."

Raine, however, narrowed her eyes and pursed her mouth into a thin line as she stiffened at the exchange, displeased. "Well then," she stated icily, fixing her stern gaze on Zelos as she addressed him, "I do wish that you had kept me and Genis more informed about the state of the government and the status of your title. You could have greatly aided us on our travels."

The professor paused and took a deep breath, regaining her composure. "Regardless of why you are still the Chosen," she continued, "I hope you have put your position of power to appropriate use. Tell me, what legislation does Tethe'alla have underway concerning half-elf rights?"

"Well," Zelos began, avoiding eye-contact, "There have been a few motions put through here and there, but not much has happened. The king is focusing on other things, like trying to find a replacement pope that isn't going to plot his murder," That much was true, at least. Then, expertly changing the subject, he continued, "But why don't you fill us in on your adventures in Sybak? I heard through the grapevine that you and the little guy were taking the academic world by storm. I don't think there's been that much gossip from the town since I graced its learning institution with my smart and sexy presence."

Raine said nothing, looking not angry, but disappointed at his evasiveness. That was worse; Zelos would much rather suffer the Professor's wrath than the resigned expression she currently sported. The look that showed she was wrong to ever expect anything useful from the Tethe'allan chosen.

Ignoring the subject change, Regal interjected, "I believe I also sent in some requests on behalf of the Lezarano Company's efforts to help rebuild the worlds. However, I have not had much feedback. I understand that it is necessary to find new leadership for the church, but the king must tend to his subjects as well," As you should too, went the unsaid comment.

Now Presea added in, her monotone voice becoming accusatory, "I also sent several letters to the king to implore for aid for Ozette. Why has nothing been done about that?"

Zelos' face pinched into a slight frown. "I'm not the king, you know," he said quietly, "I can't do everything."

"Well, you could at least do something," Genis stated in disdain. Raine slapped her brother across the head for that, but she still looked irritated at the redhead herself.

Zelos stood there, silent, putting his strained smile across his face. Internally, he was seething. Less than five minutes in their presence, and he was already the object of everyone's scorn. Well, it was his usual place. Nothing had changed. He just had to get through a few more minutes of this tortuous gathering and then he was gone.

Colette looked, noticing the deteriorating mood across the group. Sharing a worried glance with Lloyd, she spoke up in an effort to diffuse the tension.

"So, Zelos," the blonde inquired, "How's Seles?"

Zelos flinched at that remark. He would be angry with Colette, but she was so damn innocent it was infuriating. He knew she meant no harm, but the comment caused the last of his patience and self-resolve to snap as his mind worked to suppress the emotions stirred by the thought of his sister.

"Well, it's been a lovely reunion," the Tethe'allan Chosen said, plastering a fake smile across his face, "But I really must be going. I have several of my darling hunnies to meet up with, and there's only so much of me to go around!"

With that, he turned around and strode away from the group, not bothering to look back towards their faces. He wove his way through the crowd, exchanging the quick required pleasantries as he made his way to the back exit. Glancing over his shoulder to make sure he was unseen, he turned down an isolated hallway and headed for the doorway. However, he heard a slight rustle from the shadows.

Still walking towards the exit, Zelos let out an exaggerated sigh. "Now, now, now, Sheena hunny," the chosen said playfully. "There's no reason to hide in the shadows. I know full well how irresistible I am to the ladies. No need to be embarrassed!"

The summoner emerged from the darkness of the hallway. "Seriously, how did you know it was me?" she grumbled. "I'm a ninja. I may be a bit clumsy, but I was dead quiet back there!"

Zelos stopped walking and looked back towards her. "Angel senses, dearie. Remember?"

"Unfortunately," she muttered, but not quiet enough for the redhead's sensitive ears.

"Anyways, have fun at the party. Catch ya later." Zelos began to walk towards the exit again at a quicker pace. The ninja then leapt out in front of him, halting him in his tracks.

"Wait a minute. I have some things I want to ask you." Sheena said.

"If you want to join in my personal post-party celebrations, you have an automatic yes."

"That's not what I mean and you know it," she huffed. "What is wrong with you lately?"

"Absolutely nothing. The great and mighty Zelos is always in top shape," came his automatic reply.

"Then why are you still running away?"

Zelos paused at her words. He forced himself to meet her gaze, and to his surprise, her warm brown eyes were filled with both accusation and concern. He looked away, but kept silent. When he glanced back up at her, he noticed she was carrying the half-spider from Welgaia, looped elegantly on a leather strap, forming it into a kind of necklace. She ran the cord through her fingers, twisting it back and forth, studying it intently.

"I thought you said you weren't going to run away anymore," Sheena whispered.

"I'm not," Zelos replied, but the statement rang hollow to his own ears, and was less convincing to the ninja.

"Then why do you insist on changing the subject every time something uncomfortable comes up? And why haven't you contacted anyone in the past year?"

"Well, it's been busy—the handsome lord Zelos is always in popular demand," the chosen evaded, flipping his braid off his shoulder.

Sheena scoffed and crossed her arms, throwing her weight on one hip. "Everyone's been busy. But as far as I can tell, you have the least to show for it." At this, her tone softened. "That's because you're still running away. But what are you running from?"

Temporarily emboldened by her questions, she blurted out, "So why are you still Chosen? What about the unfair laws? What about Seles?"

The ninja blinked and clenched her fists. "What about me?"

"I don't know what you're talking about, hunny," Zelos evaded.

Sheena sighed. "I've known you for a long time, Zelos. I know I missed so many signs before, but I'll be damned if I miss them again."

The summoner held the broken spider towards him. "Zelos, please keep your promise."

She was too close. With her honest expression and pleading eyes, he was hitting at parts of him that he had worked for so long to hide, that he couldn't bear to face. He remembered all the promises and that godawful trap. How could he forget? They were another part of the group of memories and innermost thoughts that reminded him of how weak he was. All he could do was break promises. So Zelos decided to do what he did best: run.

"Promises are fickle, my dear," the angel remarked, averting his gaze and studying his fingernails. "You really should know better than to trust me by now."

Sheena became angry again, and her eyes filled with fire. "You made it out of that trap! You got the aionis for Lloyd! You helped save the world! Why do you insist upon acting like an idiot when I know that you're not?"

"You know nothing about me," Zelos replied in a harsh whisper, all trace of joviality gone. Sheena was startled at his sudden shift in expression. "So don't pretend otherwise."

He then continued airily, as if the drastic change never happened, "Besides, I threw that spider charm away. I don't need any more pretty, empty trinkets that try to remind me of promises I can't make."

He brushed past the summoner and continued to the exit. He noted with a sense of bitter satisfaction that she did not follow him.

Zelos sat in his room later that night, staring at the broken spider he had set on the desk. He had rid himself of his formal attire and was now dressed down for the night, hair loose and flowing down his back. Once again, he had been unable to distract himself from his thoughts.

He let out a frustrated sigh at how pathetic he was. He had been holding together, molding himself into the acceptable product of the idiot chosen, only for one mention of his sister to tear everything apart.

Seles…his mind drifted back to his last meeting with her.

Despite his best efforts, Zelos could feel his hands tremble from nervousness as he trudged up the bleak stairs of the abbey. Finally, after months of wrangling with the king and the church, he was able to secure Seles' freedom. He had sent a letter with the good news to her as soon as it was confirmed, and then made haste to the abbey. Now that he was here, however, his eagerness had evaporated and he could feel dread pooling in the pit of his stomach.

It had been a while since he had last seen his sister; in fact, he hadn't made a visit since the regeneration journey. He couldn't bear to face her before. But now that he had something to offer her—something to make her proud—maybe he could convince her to come home with him. Perhaps they could try to end the disconnect that had separated them since their youth. And maybe Seles could love him again.

He slowly ascended the last flight of stairs and arrived at the plain-looking door that led to his sister's room. Steeling himself, he straightened up and gave a tentative knock on the solid wood.

"What?" came an irritated voice from the other side of the door. Zelos opened it a crack, observing his little sister bent over, packing a few last things into a final box. Upon hearing the door creak open, the quarter-elf stood up, turning around as she let out an irritated huff.

"Tokunaga, I told you that I'm almost don—" At that moment, Seles caught sight of the red-haired figure in the entryway. Her eyes widened in surprise, but then narrowed into a glare.

"Big Br—Chosen One! What are you doing here?" she accused, her voice taking on an even sharper edge.

Zelos entered the room and responded with one of his trademark grins. "Can't a brother come to celebrate the good news and see his little sister off?"

The younger girl crossed her arms and scowled. "Well, maybe you should have bothered to visit me when I was stuck here. I might have actually appreciated the company of someone as annoying and irresponsible as you if that were the only option."

The angel internally winced at her response, but maintained his exterior; there were no cracks in his facade. He opened his mouth to retort, but was interrupted by his younger sibling.

"Unless…" Seles whispered in an uncharacteristically timid voice, wringing her hands and shifting her weight back and forth, "Did you come to…return the crystal?" She made eye contact with him briefly and then lowered her gaze to where the gem was affixed to his chest.

Zelos' heart sank at her words. There his sister stood, looking for all the world like the anxious five-year-old he had met and grown to love, demanding what he could not bring himself to tell her. He still remembered the day he gave her the crystal. They were both broken, reeling from the loss of their mothers and childhood innocence. On the verge of being forced apart, he handed her the crystal.

"This is a charm," he had said gently. "I want you to keep it since we're siblings."

In the few times he had seen her since, he had noticed that she kept it close. Although he knew that she hated him, he liked to think that she kept it to remind her of their bond, of the closeness they once shared. And now he was ripping the last of those memories away, taking something else important from this girl who had lost so much.

Yet he couldn't give the crystal back. Thanks to his scheming and spying nature, he had been turned into an angel. If he unequipped the crystal, he was resigning himself to death. It should have been easy to mention that, to tell her the truth. Surely she would believe him. Yet Zelos could not find it in himself to confide in her. He couldn't help but feel that she would hate him more than she already did if she knew everything. After all, he was pretty despicable to himself.

Zelos was used to running; running was safe. Falling back on familiar patterns, the chosen leaned back with a casual smirk, folding his arms behind his head.

"'Fraid I can't do that, darling," he chirped.

Seles straightened up, affronted. "And why not?" she hissed.

"Um, you know…chosen stuff," he finished lamely.

"But you…you promised…" she whispered. Then suddenly, the wide-eyed, unguarded look she sported earlier was no more. Gone was the close sibling whom he had entrusted his crystal with long ago, the expression on her face now as broken as their vow. "You should leave."

Zelos panicked on the inside. Somehow maintaining his casual exterior, he whined, "But I just got here! Besides, aren't you coming back with…" he trailed off.

The sickly girl seemed to have grasped his meaning. She looked away before staring at him again, jutting out her chin.

"I'm going off to Sybak to further my studies. There isn't a semi-decent library in this hell-hole. The coach should be here any minute."

"Oh…well, have fun then," the chosen replied. Ignoring the emptiness filling up his chest, he brightened his expression and stated, "Make sure you say hi to all of my intellectual hunnies there. Tell them I miss them!"

He turned around and began head out the door, bumping into a harried-looking Tokunaga.

"She's all yours," he said as he walked out of the desolate abbey, the sunshine outside doing nothing to abate the gloominess he felt within.

He was too far away to hear Seles whisper, "I know you'd be happier without me…but you could've at least pretended you wanted me to stay."

Zelos sighed as the last vestiges of the memory floated across his mind. He then mentally slapped himself for the action. Sweet Martel, he was sighing more tonight than one of his lovestruck hunnies. The comparison made him feel a little ill.

He cut the sighing but continued his deep and rather depressing thoughts, examining the broken spider. All of a sudden, his heightened angelic hearing detected a small rustle from his open window. Grabbing his sword, the chosen stood up and eased into a defensive position, holding the weapon out in front for protection. A shadow of a man came into view.

"Cut with the crap already and show yourself," the red-head snapped, "I'm in no mood to deal with anything else shitty tonight."

The figure stepped forward, the dull light from Zelos' lamp shining off of his ocean-blue hair.

"Ever the eloquent one, Chosen." Yuan remarked, "However, we need to talk."

Author's Notes: Updates won't normally be this fast. I just wanted to get a little more of the story out there. I don't own Tales of Symphonia.