To Achieve Salvation

Part 1—Changes

Chapter 4: The Truth He'd Always Known

The party reached the tree early the next morning. The scene seemed to mirror the day before; the cloudy sky, the motionless spirit, and the withering sapling. Sparing them all a brief glance, Zelos shuddered. He had not forgotten the disturbing incident the previous day. The chosen planned on ignoring the eerie connection he had with the dying plant, and he steeled himself, glancing at the ground, hoping for Yuan to spit out what he knew so they could be done with it. Of course, the former seraphim was addicted to irritating others, and had perfected the art of explaining things in the most vague, roundabout matter possible. Zelos grit his teeth, then forced his expression into his practiced smile, just in time to observe the start of the conversation.

"What news do you have?" Yuan asked, standing up and adopting his usual position of crossing his arms.

The group exchanged glances, wondering where to start. Lloyd, assuming the position as leader, spoke up. "Renegades," he stated, looking the older angel straight in the eye.

Yuan's eyes widened in surprise, but he quickly fixed his expression. "Renegades? Are you sure?"

"We are positive," Regal affirmed, stoic as always. "But Raine and Genis would know the most."

The seraphim glanced at the other half-elves. "And what did you find out?" he questioned.

Glancing towards her brother, Raine handed the crinkled documents from the infiltration to Yuan, unfolding them as she moved them forwards. "We stole some of the outfits, and Genis and I used them to sneak in the facility. We found these."

As Yuan began to peruse the papers, Genis interjected, his words in quick succession from excitement. "That's not all. We also saw this huge machine. It was so weird. And…creepy."

The mage frowned at the memories of the sinister object, his voice becoming softer. "I could feel the mana from the tree being pulled into the machine, but I don't know what they were using it for."

However, Yuan did not react to Genis' words. Instead, he flipped through the pages in quick succession, turning them back and forth as if he was trying to convince himself of their contents. His expression change from neutral to confused, ultimately settling on a mix of grave concern and disbelief.

"It can't be…" he murmured, speaking to himself, "There's no way…"

Zelos swallowed back the irritation that was building up inside. He had dealt with Yuan's derisive crypticness all throughout Cruxis and then with the Renegades—he had had his fill for a lifetime. All he wanted to do was identify the problem and go away. Although he tried to blame his negative emotions on the presence of the seraphim, a small part of him knew that was wishful thinking. He hated being on this very site, with the dying tree haunting the present and the tower haunting the past. The same empty feeling he had suffered the day before was coming back full force, and he needed somewhere to run.

After a long, tense silence interspersed with small shuffling sounds, Yuan finally looked up from the papers he was holding. He stated, his voice somber, "These documents are plans to fix a machine. Much like the one Genis described."

His words growing stronger, he continued, "But what concerns me is that this machine is designed in reference to the Salvation Project."

"The—the Salvation Project?" Lloyd asked, serious. "Is that like the Angelus Project?"

Normally, Zelos was not one for the dramatic reveals (unless they were his own), but the name had brought with it a strong sense of foreboding. He wracked his memory, but he could not recall hearing of this in any of his many alliances.

Yuan shook his head. "No, not exactly. Although it does relate to the chosen of your group."

Lloyd shot a questioning glance at Colette, who in turn shook her head. "I have no idea what he means," she insisted. The party then turned their attention to Zelos.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa," the Tethe'allan chosen protested, raising his hands and backing up as a sign of innocence. He was just as confused as everyone else. "I swear that I don't know a single thing about this." Still, the gazes of the group persisted, and the fragments of their broken trust stabbed him like a cluster of daggers, leaving him feeling bloody and exposed.

Presea's eyes narrowed. "Are you sure?" she queried, voicing the majority of his companions' suspicions.

Her words were like a punch to the gut; one he knew he deserved and saw coming, but knocked the wind out of him nonetheless. As he steeled himself in preparation to reply, Yuan once again spoke.

"I would believe the chosen for once," he interrupted, "And let me reexplain. I was unclear. The chosen would be familiar with it, but not consciously aware of it. It is an experiment with the Cruxis Crystal."

Colette's hand subconsciously worked its way to the jewel that adorned her upper chest. Zelos resisted the temptation to do the same thing, settling for folding his hands behind his back. He listened closely to what Yuan was saying, because he had been truthful with the group. He had no clue as to what the older angel was talking about, although the topic made him unsettled. Cruxis always meant bad news.

Catching sight of Colette's actions, Yuan continued, "However, I believe that only the Tethe'allan crystal was used in this project."

Raine looked puzzled. "But what would make Zelos' crystal different from Colette's? Was it due to the status of the flourishing world?"

Yuan shook his head and clarified, "What made the crystal unique was not the stone itself, but Zelos' reaction to it."

The world went quiet. For once, Zelos couldn't bring himself to speak. He had a horrible feeling about what Yuan was going to tell them, truths about himself that he would rather not know. The chosen observed his companions, who were dividing their worried glances between himself and Yuan.

"You—you can't just stop talking there!" Lloyd blurted, stepping forwards. "What do you mean? Explain!"

Raine and Regal, the cooler heads, did not bother to admonish Lloyd's rudeness. They themselves were concerned enough that they nodded in agreement, along with the rest of the group minus Zelos, who stared at the ground.

Yuan stood still, composing his next thoughts. "Yes, I suppose I must. But listen carefully. This may take a while."

A blue-haired half elf strode along the desolate hallways of Welgaia. His boots made a clacking sound as he headed towards his destination, reverberating off the bare surroundings, each echo reinforcing the deathly silence. As he rounded a corder, he caught sight of two dead-eyed angels, floating on their stiff, feathered wings.

"Greetings, Lord Yuan," they droned, granting him a stilted bow before continuing on their way, falling silent as soon as their salutation was over. The seraphim ignored them, never breaking pace until he reached his desired location.

The doors opened, and Yuan entered the throne room of Lord Yggdrasil. The Lord in question was seated upon his throne, leaning towards one side as he tapped his fingers on the arm rests. He looked up towards the interloper and smiled, although the mirth never reached his eyes.

"I'm surprised you could make my summons on such short notice," the blonde proclaimed, his voice cool and authoritative. "How goes the business on the Tethe'allan front?"

"Several leads are being explored, although nothing has panned out so far," Yuan replied. Ironically, he had been sent to scout out Renegade activity in the flourishing world, and he wasn't lying about the leads; he used this position to plant false trails every chance he got.

A slight scowl marred Yggdrasil's face. "Rather disappointing. I had expected you to uncover more by now. But no matter. That's not why I called for you today."

Yuan raised his eyebrows a fraction of an inch. "Well then. What do you wish, my lord?" he inquired.

"Tell me, what do you know of the Tethe'allan chosen's mana signature?" Yggdrasil asked.

The Renegade leader was confused by the direction the conversation was taking, but replied nonetheless. "Only that it is unsuitable for Martel's resurrection. I thought we were prioritizing the Sylvaranti Chosen, as she is a more likely match."

"You are correct," the blonde angel nodded in the other half-elf's direction, regarding him shrewdly. "But while useless for our main goal, there is a whole other research potential for the sacrifice. I'm telling you this because I would like you to further explore this project."

This news piqued Yuan's curiosity, but his expression remained unchanged. "What are the specifics of the assignment?"

At this, Yggdrasil smirked. "It really is most unusual," he intoned, sitting up in his throne, "While most failed chosens are incompatible because of the lower mana signature they possess, the Tethe'allan chosen is exactly the opposite."

Yuan's voice rose by a faint degree. "But…is that even possible? Martel's mana signature was unnaturally strong. If hers had been any stronger, she would have been able to produce mana herself."

"Precisely." came Yggdrasil's cool reply. He noted Yuan's surprised expression with satisfaction. "The possibilities for practical application of this skill would be immense. If we were able to create our own mana…"

"It would certainly give us more power," Yuan assented.

"Yes it would. Just imagine—we could have more control over the condition of the worlds. The extra power could also be used to speed up Martel's resurrection."

Yuan stiffened at this comment. If Martel could see her brother now…

Yggdrasil continued, "I trust you can handle this assignment?"

"Of course, my lord," he replied with a small bow.

"Then you are dismissed."

Yuan bowed once more and left the room, deep in thought. Ideas sprang to life in his mind, concepts that he had long ago buried with the formation of the renegades. Could this development truly be his salvation?

Yuan finished his introduction, and the group was silent. Lloyd glanced around, puzzled. "I have no idea what that means," he said earnestly. He looked towards Raine. "Professor?" he asked, hoping for clarification.

Raine stood there, shock still, in disbelief. Regaining the power of speech, she questioned the seraphim. "Zelos can…create his own mana? Surely that's impossible!"

The chosen in question continued to look anywhere but companions, ignoring their confused stares. He didn't want to hear the rest of this story. He retreated further and further inside of himself, lost in his memories while the conversation continued around him.

He remembered sitting by himself in his large, lonely mansion, a place where he could detect the emptiness at his young age. There was no warmth to be found in this rich mausoleum that drained all life away. He sat on his bed and tried to create the warmth for himself, and while he could detect a faint spark, it was never enough.

Yuan sighed. "That was my first thought as well. But the further the research progressed, the more I understood."

He knelt down by the ailing spirit of Martel, restarting the mana transfer process. His expression was a cool, calculated neutral as he continued, "As you all know, for four thousand years, Cruxis had attempted to create a vessel for Martel. This was an exceedingly difficult process. For a successful vessel, it was imperative that the mana signatures were a near-perfect match.

His parents were husband and wife in name only. Forced together to breed a savior, they were torn away from their hopes and dreams and locked into a spiral of bitterness. The only thing they hated more than each other was him. In spite of it all, he still nursed that small spark inside himself.

"A mana signature is the unique amount of mana inherent to an individual, much like a magical fingerprint. In order for Martel's soul to be reborn, she would have to move to a vessel with a similar mana signature. This was why the chosen system was created. Humans, because of their shorter lifespan and faster reproduction rates, were taken and artificially bred in order to create a similar mana fingerprint.

His father was dead and his mother was gone, her empty stare looking past him in a way that hurt more than her anger ever had. But Seles had arrived, and he discovered what it meant to share the warmth with someone else. But all too soon she was gone as well, and he felt the spark he had nurtured die like the light in his mother's eyes when she lay there, dead and bloody and hating on the snow.

"Martel had an unusually strong mana signature, making it difficult to replicate. Humans with the strongest mana signatures were taken and bred with one another, creating chosen with stronger and stronger signatures. With the latest generation of chosen, the greatest success was achieved."

For a long time, he merely existed, filling his role as the chosen with a smile and ignoring anything that stirred the fading embers within. He ignored the desire for companionship, for a chosen only exists as a vessel for the suffering of the world, and he brought only misery and pain to those he touched. He sated himself with shallow pleasures instead, the ladies who would giggle at the drop of a hat, but never getting any closer than that devilish grin. But Sheena was different than the rest. Though she arrived in the castle and bowed in respect, he could see that the look in her eyes spoke of anything but reverence. He became infatuated with the exotic beauty that would refuse his advances. Every action she took was filled was a zest and sincerity—she filled the very air around her with a warm energy, and he found himself making excuses to go near her to steal some of the warmth for himself.

Yuan looked at Colette, addressing her directly. "You were the closest match to Martel ever achieved. The chronic angelus inofficium, her ability to speak through you—your signatures were nearly identical."

With that, he addressed the party once more. "But the chosens on the Tethe'allan side were close in signature strength as well. Through the breeding process, unlikely as it was, the mana signature was overshot, ending up being stronger than Martel's. This is the mana signature that Zelos possesses.

The older he got, the more he learned. He had always understood that he was born to die, but he did not realize how utterly pointless it was until he grew older. By the tender age of 14, he figured the system was a sham. Every moment of his life decided for him, in case he ever had to save the world, all dictated by winged beings up above. He didn't accept any of it, and sought a way out. By any means necessary.

"As we researched further, it was discovered that Zelos' mana signature was so strong that he could actually produce small amounts of mana, much as Yggdrasil said. The goal of the Salvation Project was to determine how much of this mana could be produced."

To this, Raine questioned, "But why would you need to produce more mana? Weren't you based on Derris-Kharlan, the source of all mana?"

Regal added, "And what was the reasoning behind the name of the project? What salvation were you hoping to achieve?"

Yuan continued, "While I was ordered by Yggdrasil to research the project, the main research I did was for the purpose of the Renegades. Mithos himself did not need more mana; he was simply curious about what applications this new method of mana production would have; mainly, if it could somehow be used to give greater control over the worlds, or if there was a way to speed up Martel's resurrection. He had long since given up on restoring mana to the worlds. But for the Renegades…"

As the emptiness grew, so did the bitterness. Though he did his best not to think of her, everything reminded him of how much better a chosen Seles would be. The derisive looks he got when his back was turned, the whispers he heard from Meltokio society, and his own memories that refused to vanish, no matter how hard he had tried to forget. So when Pronyma offered him a position in Cruxis and a way out of the chosen title, he snapped it up. He did the same thing with Yuan and the Renegades. After all, it was only another role to play.

The blue-haired man trailed off, lost in thought. "Please continue, Yuan," Presea interjected, her voice soft but strong, interrupting the uncomfortable silence that had befallen the group.

Yuan continued, focusing even more on the mana transfer, as if detaching himself from the tale. "One of the main reasons we—I—opposed Martel's resurrection was that her soul was entangled with the great seed. Bringing her back would have meant killing the seed and ending the world. But if another source of mana production could be found…"

"Then you would have been free to use Colette to resurrect Martel…it would have been your salvation," Raine finished.

"Yes." the seraphim stated, his voice devoid of emotion.

When he first spoke to a recovered Colette, he was astonished at how perfect she was. She shone from within, her light never diminished, while he was a broken coward who had skulked to Cruxis and the Renegades. He couldn't help but hate her a little bit. While his admiration for her grew, so did his envy.

Genis shuffled his feet impatiently. "Well then, what happened next?" he interjected, "Why haven't we heard any of this before?"

Yuan sighed, brushing his hair out of his eyes. "About a year or two before the Sylvaranti chosen underwent the journey of regeneration, the Renegades were able to come to a conclusion about the possibility of mana generation. The Tethe'allan chosen could indeed produce mana, but the amount was minuscule; barely enough to register on any sort of scale. Plans were drafted in order to increase the mana creation, but they were…unfeasible, so the plan was discarded, and the Renegade resources were once again devoted to stopping Martel's resurrection."

He told himself he didn't care. This group was a foolish bunch, wide-eyed and trusting. They were so naive they deserved to be betrayed. He thought not of Lloyd's idiocy and idealism, Colette's selflessness, Sheena's determination. He ignored the childlike stubbornness of Genis and the soulful stare of Presea. He tried not to let Raine and Regals' troubled yet resolute gazes affect him. But he failed. He was angry, still so angry, about his lot in life, and he would side with any faction that would offer him a way out. But the small part of him he had buried away over the years, the section of his consciousness not cruel and hardened by fate, couldn't help but care about them. As the journey wore on and he was drawn far deeper into his many plots than he had ever imagined, he could never get rid of the small grain of friendship. He hated himself for not being able to let it go, but he hated himself even more for being so selfish in the first place.

"So, what kind of plan was it?" Sheena questioned.

"The chosen could produce mana because of his high mana signature," Yuan continued, "What was limiting the amount produced was the size. The soul of a single person could not produce enough energy to sustain the world. But it was discovered that if the soul was broken apart into minute fragments, the mana production could be amplified on an exponential scale. Each piece would operate independently, producing the same amount of mana indefinitely. If the soul was broken up into enough pieces, it would be able to produce the same amount of mana as the healthy great tree, if not more."

"So what stopped you?" Raine questioned, crossing her arms.

"The amount of mana required to split a soul apart is enormous. It would have taken more mana than available from the great seed, and would kill the tree in the young stage. The idea was discarded."

"So, those machines…" Genis whispered.

"Are designed to funnel mana to break apart the chosen's soul. I recognize these plans from the Salvation project. If this is what they are up to, then the tree will surely die."

Colette stared at Yuan in horror. "But then what will happen to Zelos? Is he going to die?"

Yuan sighed. "I don't know for sure," he said, his ever-stoic face showing a hint of discomfort at the Sylvaranti's honest stare. "I can only make assumptions. I don't think he would die—I don't think he could with his soul split. But he wouldn't be alive, either. I can only guess that he'd fade away, with bits and pieces of his consciousness aware. Much like a soul broken across multiple exspheres."

He had gone against every instinct he had developed over the years and sided with Lloyd's group. He had turned his alliance with Cruxis upside down, using his knowledge and influence to deactivate traps and steal the aionis for Lloyd. Now the world was saved, and he was one of its heroes. He should have been happy, for most everything he'd ever wanted had been achieved. However, the reunification of the world didn't fix everything, least of all himself. Everyone around him was surrounded by warmth and light, yet he still couldn't find his way out of the emptiness that had enveloped him all of his life.

"Wait a minute!" Sheena sputtered, scowling. She tried to only appear angry, but her eyes betrayed her fear. "You can't talk about Zelos like that. Like he's just some—some tool to be used!"

She turned to where the chosen was sitting, regarding him with an expression so full of anger and worry and life, begging for him to defend himself. But he didn't say a word.

Everyone had moved on but him. He remained there, floundering. The very world had changed, but he found he could not change with it. He was too broken, empty, falling apart bit by bit and could never hope to be whole. He didn't have it in him, and he didn't deserve it. It was the truth he'd always known.