The awkward moment when your friend's story is getting more reviews and subscribes than of yours, so much so that you're actually thinking about quitting writing as a whole.

Alright, here is chapter two, and I do believe she is writing one last chapter to this story. I convinced her to write this chapter and another because it's too good for her not to continue and end the story in a proper matter.

And as always: Do Not own the rights Law & Order SVU.

A/N: Sorry for the miss up, there was a lot missing from this chapter that some how didn't go through on my google drive. Not sure but happened! It's updated to the full and correct version. Enjoy!

She leaves before Olivia wakes up, deciding to go back to her apartment to let Frannie out, and feed her. She's not proud of what she's done… Leaving Olivia after…

God she can't even believe what happened. It's still so fresh in her mind. They way the older woman had come for her.. the way her fingers and mouth had reciprocated everything Amanda had done to her.. She found it hard to believe this was Olivia's first time with a woman.

She knows Olivia's going to be pissed. Probably not talk to her.. Probably even transfer her out. She's preparing for the worst. She knows that when she goes into work the next day, things will be different. They were different the moment Amanda pressed her lips against her boss's.

The urge to gamble has doubled since leaving Olivia's, maybe due to guilt? Maybe, the presence of Olivia is what drew her mind away from the addiction…

Addiction.

Olivia gave a whole new meaning to the word. Her mind, her soul, her body… It was all so overwhelming, yet.. Almost not enough.

She imagined with a 3 year old, Olivia would be up by now. She knew the older woman wouldn't call her. She'd probably be too embarrassed.

Really, Amanda knew she was a fuck up, but this? This topped it all.

Monday came too quickly for Amanda. She had half a mind to just call in sick. But she didn't. She was a coward, but she was not a flake.. Well… at least when it came to work.

She put up a strong front as she walked into the squad room. Everyone was quiet though, busy at work.

"What's goin' on?" She asked Fin, setting her things down on her desk, removing her blazer.

He shakes his head, "Boss is in one of her moods. She's tryin' to put up a front like nothing's botherin' her but I can tell. She's been snappy. 'Specially at Carisi, poor guy."

A rush of guilt and remorse floods through her veins. She know's exactly why Olivia is off today. She was fucked and stood up. Amanda'd basically treated her as a booty call.

Fucked up… That was too light a definition of what the blonde did. Cruel.

So fucking cruel.

"She in?" Amanda looks over at the drawn blinds and closed door.

"Yea but I'd refrain from botherin' her.. Don't wanna get sent on a filing adventure like Sonny." He smirks, looking down at his paperwork.

Amanda shakes her head and walked towards Olivia's office. If filing is her punishment, she'd be lucky, but she knows she's gonna get the worst of if.

She'd prepared though, she was ready for whatever she was about to walk into.

She taps the door a few times, then opens it.

"Didn't I tell you to finish that paperwork?" Amanda hears, that raspy, tired voice filling the room.

"Actually, I just got here, so…"

Olivia's eyes snap up, locking with Amanda's.

It's not anger that's in the older woman's eyes. It's a tired, hurt kind of look, and it almost brings the younger woman to her knees.

She did that.

It's only seconds before Olivia steels herself. Her back and neck straightening out.

Amanda notices a dark mark peaking out of her top, and flashes of two nights ago flood her brain.

"Detective," Olivia barks, slipping her glasses onto the bridge of her nose. "Didn't think you'd show up this morning. There's a pile of 5's on your desk. I need them finished before you go home."

Amanda wants to smile.. It's horrible, really, feeling this turned on by the dark gaze she's getting from the brunette. It's not sexual by any means, more like a guarded anger, but she'd never been able to resist the way Olivia looked when she was in a passionate kind of mood. Especially anger.

"Will do. But first, I think we should talk."

Olivia arches a brow and stands up, tilting her head. "Shut the door."

Amanda does as she's told, ignoring the prying eyes of her coworkers.

Amanda opens her mouth to speak, ready to apologize, but Olivia beats her to it. "You fucked me, Amanda."

She's stunned by the tone of her boss's voice. The harsh rasp. She looks down at her feet, unable to face the older woman.

"Look at me." Olivia snaps, and immediately, Amanda's eyes are locked with Olivia's.

"You… You came to my home… You kissed me. You touched me.." Olivia moves closer, voice dropping dangerously, "You made me come harder than anyone has. You let me fuck you, and then you left me naked in my bed, after promising you wouldn't regret it."

There's tears in Olivia's eyes, but her voice never wavers. Strong is too weak a word to describe her Lieutenant.

"I don't regre-"

Olivia pushes Amanda into the wall, cutting her off. "I'm.. Not.. Finished." She says coldly. "I want to know, Rollins. Was it when I had my mouth between your legs? When you decided that you were gonna leave while I was asleep? Or was it when you were riding my fingers?"

If Amanda we're a guy, she'd have a confusion boner. Because she can't tell if she's turned on as fuck, or if she's on the brink of crying.

"I'm sorry, Liv."

Olivia backs up, swiping her eyes under her black glasses. She lets out a dry chuckle, "I don't want you to be sorry." She straightens out her jacket, "I want you to finish those DD5's."

Amanda's mouth drops, tears spill down her cheeks.

"You're dismissed."

Amanda moved forward, cupping Olivia's cheek, "Liv, I'm-"

"You're dismissed, Detective." Olivia growls, pushing Amanda's hand away.

Olivia turns away, her back facing the younger detective.

Amanda sighs, but follows her superior's orders, knowing she'd get nowhere if she tried to talk.

Someone had a death wish.

It was about 30 after 12, and the squad room was bustling with people coming back from lunch, leaving for lunch, on break. Olivia had just walked out of her office when a uni walked by, bumping into the Lieutenant, thus spilling his coffee all over Olivia's white blouse and navy blue blazer.

Amanda had witnessed it, mouth agape, watching her boss look slowly from the sheer, wet stain on her shirt, then peering over her glasses at the young, very terrified uniform.

"Lieutenant Benson… I-I'm so sor-"

"Get back to work." She growls, pushing past him, beelining up the stairs to the cribs.

Amanda shakes her head and hurries into Olivia's office, opening and closing drawers until she finds what she's looking for.

She makes her way up to the cribs, and tentatively opens the door, seeing her boss sitting on one of the beds, elbows on her knees and head in her hands. She can't tell if Olivia is crying or just breathing heavily, but she can't stand the sight of either.

"I brought your extra shirt, Liv.."

Olivia's head snaps up, and Amanda loses her breath. Fuck giving the woman space. Fuck gambling. Fuck feeling guilty.

Olivia's eyes are red rimmed, albeit no tears, she can tell the older woman had been crying.

"Were you even really feeling the urge to gamble that night? Or did you just assume that I'd put out?" Her voice is shaking, louder than Amanda'd expected it to be. Her eyes widen at the accusation, but Olivia continues, standing up.

The stress and hurt that was written all over her face just moments ago was replaced with anger. Lots of it.

"Is that it? You saw the way I looked at you before, you know I felt something, so you wanted an easy lay?"

Amanda shakes her head vigorously, "God, no.. Dammit Olivia, Why would you think I'd-"

"You left!" There was no restraint now, Olivia had shouted possibly drawing attention in their direction. "I know you were… you were trying to feel something other than weakness and sadness and the need to gamble.. but why me? Why was I the one you came to if all you wanted was one night of something physical? I'm not like that.."

"I'm not either!" Amanda moved closer to Olivia, the older woman's shirt still in hand. "God, Olivia.. I don't know why I left.. I know it was fucked up.. I wish I can take it back-"

"Take back leaving while I was asleep or take back fucking me?" Olivia spat.

Amanda tossed the shirt onto the nearest bed then moved in front of the older woman, cupping both her cheeks in a strong grasp. "Listen to me. I know you're hurt. Okay? But I need you to know that what we did… That was so much stronger than fucking. That was a connection."

Olivia narrows her eyes, crossing her arms over her stained, now sheer top. Amanda could see the outline of perfect breasts.

"You seemed pretty eager to break the connection when you left at the ass crack of dawn. You know how embarrassing that is? To wake up naked, covered in love bites and reminders, all alone?"

Amanda closes her eyes, leaning her forehead against Olivia's. "I'm not sorry for what happened, Liv.. I'm not sorry for doing what I did to you, what you did to me.. I don't regret it. I freaked out… It's what I do.. That's no excuse, but it's the truth.. I'm sorry I left you.. You deserved so much better than that."

"You're right." She feel's Olivia's soft breath against her lips and nose, the slight scent of toothpaste and coffee on her lips. "I hated that you left. I almost don't want to forgive you…"

Amanda looks into Olivia's eyes then, feeling her heart cracking as Olivia continues. "I almost want to forget this ever happened.. But I can't. I don't want to."

"I don't want you to forget it.. Please, Liv.. Please forgive me."

Olivia shakes her head and moves towards the bunk with her shirt on it. She removed her blazer and begins unbuttoning her shirt. She turns around, letting the ruined garment hang open loosely.

Amanda gapes at the sight before her.

Hickies cover her breasts and torso. A line leading down, dipping inside her waistband. She was right. It's such a turn on to see her own markings on the brunette.

"If you ever," Olivia begins, "Make love to me, only to leave before I wake… ever again…" She let's the blouse drop to the floor, her gaze dark, "There will be hell to pay, Rollins."

Amanda can only nod, completely entranced by the sight in front of her.

"Got it?" Olivia bites, a sexy sneer on her plump lips.

"Got it…"

Olivia tenses her jaw, then picks the second blouse up, slipping it on over her shoulders and buttoning it. "I believe you have some paperwork to finish, Detective."

Amanda furrows her brows, thoroughly confused at the change in her boss's demeanor. "Liv-"

Olivia cuts Amanda off, moving in front of her and pressing her lips against the younger woman's. She pushed her tongue into Amanda's mouth, roughly taking what was rightfully hers.

Olivia tugs Amanda's hair, pulling her face back, detaching Amanda's teeth from her bottom lip. "I'll see you for stories tonight. Noah had a book picked out for you the minute he woke up."

The blonde could tell that Olivia was still guarded, but the kiss was all the assurance she needed. "Yes ma'am." She drawls, Georgian accent thick with the baritone of her voice.

Olivia nods once, curtly, "Back to work, Rollins." She playfully demands, moving past her, wet blouse dangling from her fingertips. The other hand carrying her slightly stained blazer.