The next day's developments were surprising, to say the least. Throughout it Kenny had been giving him the evil eye in between battles during the siege on Clyde's Fortress.
"Have you a stick up your ass today, my lady?" Cartman offered mock-concern to the object of his private affections.
Princess Kenny's perceived anger was snapped off in an instant, and she replied, "(Oh, you could always check it, yourself, Sir Eric.)" Her invitation had deadpanned startlingly before Kyle said, "Get a room, you two!"
Fury shot through Cartman and he was going to turn on Kyle, but Stan, admonishing, reminded them, "Guys, we're almost to the top." All fell silent and Kenny stared eerily ahead.
This tensity led to the finale of their adventure: When Kenny betrayed their fellowship and willfully succumbed to the Taco Bell green sauce. Her proclaimed backstory of orc-lineage and destroyed villages was, evidently, bullshit.
As it turned out, Kenny actually had a Stick up her ass.
Cartman knew it was to make a point. A point against himself, just as the surfacing of PRINCESS Kenny was in November. She wanted to show herself as an equal concern to everyone, but most of all to Cartman, as it was HE who had been leading the fight against PS3 supporters, and as it now was HE who had to risk himself in the final battle against Nazi Zombie Princess Kenny.
"Kenny, I know why you're doing this," said Cartman, quite in fear of his life. All the rest of the party had been incapacitated: Butters by Death, Kyle by a vial of goo, Jimmy by rats, and Stan by a fucking unicorn. It was just him and the zombie Princess. And Douchebag, but fuck him.
As the space between Grand Wizard and Nazi Zombie closed, Cartman spoke desperately to him, yes him, because he knew that was Kenny under the princess, zombie, and Nazi. And Kenny was mad at him. "You want to be recognized by us as just as relevant! By me! And I swear, if you'd just calm your tits and give me the Stick… you can be Queen!"
"Q-queen?" Cartman heard Jimmy say behind them. "That's c-certainly a big offer for a traitor!"
But big as it was, Kenny must not have heard him. The mangled Princess lunged forth, and the tubby boy had to block her ravaging teeth.
"Ok, you don't have to give the Stick! Just don't fucking kill me and I'll give you anything you want!"
"Cartman," said Kyle irritably. "stop trying to bargain with Nazi Zombie Princess Kenny and fight!"
...
Not all the slashing of Douchebag's sword nor all the stormy cussing Cartman could muster would finish the undead, immortal Kenny.
It was suggested and decided. The inevitable breaking of the Gentleman's Code had fallen into place. Restraining the raving Kenny in his arms was admittedly enthralling as it was terrifying. Cartman kept a poker face while the Princess thrashed and slapped him with a look of anger and well… could Nazi Zombies find something hot? Because Cartman couldn't have been the only one with an erection, with them pressed together like this. But Cartman hardly had any more time to wonder as the New Kid unleashed his powerful gas.
Then the explosion, considered unspeakable by most, occurred. It was pretty fucking magical, but he couldn't recall much more of it. Cartman was blasted to the side, and upon conclusion, everyone shook their heads woozily. The Big Bad government guy was nowhere to be seen, probably retconned on impact. Then there was Kenny, sitting awkwardly in the center. His wig was 'sploded and his dress a tattered mess, particularly around the balls. Effeminately he gasped, "(Oh my!)" like he were fucking Princess Peach, and fled the scene.
"Well, it's late," said Stan. "I'm going to bed."
"I c-co-concur," said Jimmy.
Cartman filed behind them down the steps, wishing he'd been forward with Kenny a long time ago.
"Moooom?"
"Yes, hun?"
"Could you um, maybe go to the store and get in line to buy Sniper Elite 4? That new game I've been looking forward to?"
"Oh, but that would take a couple hours, hon."
"But Moom, that's exactly why I need you to go as soon as you can! "
Without any more hesitation Liane told her son, "Alright, dear."
While he waited for her to leave, he examined his checklist, found in the confines of his top-secret jornal. They were plans he'd had for some time, but never could execute.
Step 1, guarantee privacy within the house… complete.
Step 2, prepare his room. Cartman didn't like anything that involved order or, namely, responsibility but it was all in accord with his plans. Making his bed was definitely the hardest part, then he had to steal lubricant from his mother's chamber, which wasn't a lovely place in his opinion.
He dressed himself as the Wizard he played, and left his house later than usual. One thing on people's minds was Kenny's last minute betrayal, as portrayed by Butters while Cartman entered the KKK camp.
"Why'd you betray us like that, Princess?"
Kenny waved her gloved hand and said evenly, "(You shouldn't be so judgemental over a menstruating lady, my dear Paladin.)" She occupied herself with her newly-replaced wig. At Kenny's surprisingly explicit defense, Butters bashfully moved aside.
Despite wanting to laugh at the idea of blood coming out of Kenny's ass (again), Cartman straightly announced, "Princess Kenny! Come with me for I...require some...alone...time with you." He stilted his lines as he went, realizing eyes of all humans were on him, as they were out in the open, and Kenny had only betrayed them all last night.
"(Alone time?)" Princess Kenny placed attention on him, and Cartman shuddered hidden excitement.
"Privacy, m'lord," Butters said helpfully. "That may be the more medieval word."
"Stupid, fucking…" the Grand Wizard muttered. "Look, come with me, alright?"
The Princess, fair and complacent, didn't argue and followed Cartman. Kenny was generally the compliant sort, but usually with some known incentive. All stared with confusion and subliminal wonder as the King and Princess marched from the yard.
But the truth was that Kenny did have an incentive — and it was one they both shared.
The door shut behind them. "(So what is it, Sir Eric~?)" she trilled, her caution thinly masked. "(I do hope you aren't going to judge an innocent, chaste la...)"
"Chaste my ass Kenny!" said Cartman, ignoring her look of daggers. "I know what you want — why you betrayed us like that!" Did he know? But he pushed over his wavering voice. "But we can set things straight. And if you would just accompany me to my quarters…" The words fell a little cold, and Kenny gazed at him with nothing but expectation.
Address her head on.
In this moment the Wizard's dick grew hard under his robes, and he gripped the the bare section of her arm, above the sleeves. "Take off the wig, Kenny," he said as he directed her to the stairs, speaking firmer than ever. "And your dress. But not before removing your pants."
It was the Princess's wont to giggle or theatrically object. But Kenny seemed without words, and Cartman knew that under the parka was roused, mortal breathing and a pounding heart — because he felt just the same.
"(Right now?)" said Kenny finally, glancing at the glass door still in sight.
"In my room," corrected Cartman, slightly embarrassed by Kenny's perverted notion of voyeurism. The way up was clear without his mother home, and they hurried into his room, bed aptly made. The blonde princess wig, new and lovely as it was, was thrown to the floor as no-longer-Princess Kenny stripped.
"(Aren't you gonna get naked, too?)" Kenny asked, hesitant to remove his coat.
Cartman didn't have a decided answer to that, so he flipped off Kenny's bright orange hood and kissed him instead. He recalled how much he wanted to find someone to fuck that Princess Kenny, see her raped and loved… but he realized that what he really wanted was to see was Kenny to be ousted from that Princess guise but only for himself.
Parting from the most fervent but amateur kiss, Cartman let loose a string of truths:
"I hate you, Kinny." Kenny furrowed his brows, ready to push Cartman away if this were a trick. "You're so cute and quiet and dirty, and I wish you weren't a fucking princess because you being by my side really turns me on." The blond tipped his head. "I wanna fuck you into the ground because you're my best friend and…" He flushed hard as he pressed his plump face close to Kenny's revealed, feeble one. It begged silently for him to follow through with his words.
Cartman sighed. He licked his lips as he lowered his trousers and discarded his Wizard's hat. "You're mine, Princess Kenneth McCormick." And somehow, that was just what Kenny wanted to hear, and they took it to the bed present.
Cartman, still with his Wizard robe over him, hovered above a prostrate, perfect Kenny. He shifted himself for proper entrance into the ass…
"Hey, aren't you gonna use lube?" Kenny broke his silence with skepticism.
"Shit!" Cartman fumbled over his nightstand for the bottle, trying not to break his precious placement over the blond. "Give me a moment while I apply this alchemical...concoction to my sword," Cartman said, attempting to assuage the moment with RP.
"The sheath needs it, too, or the effect will wear off." Kenny rolled his eyes and reached for the bottle.
Cartman held it away and stifled a snap. Nothing would kill this moment; Cartman was to stay here, on top of Kenny's cute form. He reached his arm down, feeling the small opening, and smeared the gel around and slightly in, met by a twitch on Kenny's part. He enjoyed the sensation of Kenny's tightness, and let himself explore.
Teasing, the brunet mimicked his partner's persona: "'Oh Sir Eric, you naughty boy!'" Cartman's hand was large and flabby, and the blond grunted.
"Dude, just fuck it with your dick," Kenny said, clenching his teeth. Cartman small size was common fact — a demeaning one at that.
And so Cartman delighted in continuing, showing that "Princess" the naughty, aggressive pleasure he desired. That they both did, really. It proved a lot more enjoyable than the penetration he originally planned.
He began thrusting in and out, sitting a little bit off to achieve a good angle. Cartman had fisted himself before, and figured he was reaching the prostate as Kenny wiggled.
"Eric, touch my dick, will you?"
"Does this mean you want your King to stop pleasuring your ass?" He slowed down, and looked seriously at Kenny.
"Well ...!" The blond's face was red, and a little contorted by the intensity. He sighed defeatedly. "...no…"
"Into the ground, Kinny," Cartman reminded him. He would fulfill that promise, so long as he could be patient. "The ground."
A/N Apparently "fuck into the ground" has never been said before (I hope it didn't confuse anyone). The closest thing Google could find was a Game of Thrones clip...