"So, how was it?"
"How was what?" Cartman said anxiously. He and Princess Kenny just had exited the house, hats and garbs and wig all reacquired before returning to public appearance, intent on not a soul knowing the diversion they had found in there. Jimmy the Bard was present in camp, and accosted them promptly. That King Douchebag had allowed those of both races into all Kingdoms, a decision that went unsanctioned by Cartman.
"F-f-fucking the P-Princess?"
Cartman gaped. "Aw, Jesus Christ fucking SHIT, Jimmy! How the fuck do you know that?!" The Princess in contrast retained composure with a giggle.
"Kinny?! You didn't say anything, did you?!" The brunet feared his friend had somehow broadcasted their relations via Facebook while he was taking a dump earlier, before they left the house.
She shook her head.
"T-truth be told, Grand Wizard," said Jimmy. "The consummation between King and Princess is something both Kingdoms have expected for quite some time."
"(What?)" Kenny looked concerned.
"You see, it is thanks to Douchebag that I could have known in this time of celebration your sincere feelings for one another…"
"Douchebag? I never told..." The only way for the New Kid to have known would be in my journal… Shit, of course! "He ransacks everyone's shit! But he LOOKS through it too?" he spoke in dawning horror. That little fucking DOUCHE was a stalker.
"(Fuck, I thought I kept that stuff hidden!)" Kenny added, negligently revealing his own obsession (to Cartman's mild surprise).
"...even though we all suspected when her Highness wanted to be his Majesty's personal princess. We gather here to celebrate the t-t-triumph of yesterday…"
He realized Stan, Kyle, Craig, Wendy…. EVERYONE was in the KKK, all dressed in formal attire.
"...and South Park's first ever Royal W-w-Wedding!"
"Fuck!" he and Kenny cursed in unison. There were only so many lines they were willing to cross with each other.
"No. Screw you guys!" He threw his wizard hat to the ground. "I'm not playing this game anymore." and walked inside with a slam.
Upon his departure, all were silent. Princess Kenny gave them a good look, directed mumbled profanities, and threw her own crown on top of the Wizard's cap.
The next day, they were playing superheroes.
Fin
A/N Gee, how's that gonna work out? OH WELL WE CAN'T KNOW BECAUSE FBH IS DELAYED FOR LIKE A YEAR MORE GAAAH
I regret throttling the pr0n (due to pacing), but perhaps you can let your imagination fill in the blank. Unless anyone thinks it needs an aggressive rewriting?
Idk what Sniper Elite 4 is; I just know it has Hitler in it so Cartman must like it.