"I'm just saying," Emily tried to say seriously over the laughter, her own included.

JJ walked up to the scene. Morgan and Garcia were laughing as hard as they possibly could, Garcia gripping Morgan's desk so as not to topple over. She was always one for the dramatics. Emily was sitting at her own desk, pathetically trying to hide her red, laughing face in her the palm of her hand. Reid, however, was just as lost as ever.

"Children, children," Garcia scolded over a laugh as JJ sat beside a pile of neatly stacked case files on Emily's desk.

"What's going on here?"

"Morgan, I swear to god," Emily threatened as JJ raised an eyebrow at her male counterpart.

"So Reid here is going over a case sent to us," He began as he started to laugh again before Emily crumpled up a piece of stray paper and threw it at his head. "Series of bank robberies," he says firmer before giving Emily a defiant look. "He's reading it out loud and I say it sounds like a couple's version of adventure. My dear partner, Agent Prentiss, over here says 'Oh I get that,' without thinking we are listening."

"Emily thinks bank robberies are romantic," Garcia interjected, prompting JJ to chuckle and look at Emily's red face for confirmation. To be honest, JJ didn't see why the topic was so hilarious to the group of agents, maybe because they were sleep deprived, or maybe because it was just good to see Emily laughing again.

"The idea of them is a little romantic, okay?"

"Mmhmm," JJ joked along and pretended to write on one of Emily's case files, "And when did this desire first begin?"

"Okay, Prentiss," Morgan began as he leaned back in his chair with a cup of coffee, "What is so romantic about a bank robbery?"

Emily rolled her eyes again, "Two people on the road together. I don't know. You have this big secret with only one other person and only you two know the truth about each other. Only you two are part of it," Emily paused, running her tongue over her teeth, "And I've always been into the west Texas aesthetic."

"Well I think you're the only one," JJ teased, lightening the mood once again.

"I think JJ is a secret criminal," Garcia stated in a mater-of-fact tone as she shares a look with Morgan.

"Oh I agree, baby girl."

"Okay," JJ agreed sarcastically, looking to Emily for backup, except the brunette agent is drinking a cup of tea with that stupid smirk she couldn't help but fall for every time.

"JJ, didn't you say you dined and dashed once?" Morgan asked knowingly with a wink, causing Emily to choke on her coffee as the entire desk cluster, except for Reid, breaks into a fit of giggles.

"You're mistaken my choco god, JJ was the one who was ea-"

"Oh my god shut up," JJ yelled, grabbing Emily's rubber band ball and throwing at the technical analyst's chest.

"My boob."

"Should we let Morgan help you out with that or call Kevin?" Emily cut in, sharing a high-five with JJ before Hotch walked by the group.

"Case in Houston, briefing room in five."

And just like that they were back to reality.

The case had been hard for the entire team, especially Emily. It was difficult enough to talk to Hotch about her therapy appointments, to lie to the man she had grown to respect and see as a friend. It was even more difficult to solve a case that mirrored parts of her own ordeal with Doyle. She felt horrible about manipulating the situation with the victim, even though she knew it was the right thing to do. She felt guilty that her "monster" was dead and she didn't appreciate it. That she couldn't appreciate it- her mind wouldn't let her.

The nightmares, visions of what he would do to her if he got to her- they never really went away. She had come back, but she had to acknowledge that she was different. She was more fragile. It was like the old mug she kept at the BAU and refused to throw away. It was chipped, a visible line running down the front of the white ceramic, but it still was passable. No one ever remarked on its state because it still did the job. That's how she felt. She was always broken, worn, imperfect, but she could still handle it. No one would really notice before unless they really looked at her, really examined her, and it wasn't like Emily let just anyone do that. Now she felt like a Styrofoam coffee cup that had pencil holes poked all up and down its sides, the hot drink pouring out before you even had a chance to drink it. It felt like somewhere along the way she became an unintentional sideshow. The members of her unit carefully watching her, monitoring to make sure she was okay. Perhaps even wondering what she was doing there.

What was she doing there?

"I'm having a bad day," she simply stated to Hotch as she boarded the empty plane. "I don't want to talk about it," He merely nodded to her as the two sit in silence, JJ noticing the odd behavior as she boards minutes later.

"Are you going to talk to me?" The blonde asked as the rest of the team split up to find their cars.

"About?" Emily absentmindedly asked as she nervously played with her keys. This isn't something JJ and her did. Not anymore anyway. They hadn't done it for years- talked about something serious besides themselves and work. Emily makes it her mission to kick every stray rock she can find on the dark parking lot ground. She briefly wonders how hard it is to clean blood out of the ridges and nooks of the asphalt.

Meanwhile JJ is losing her patience about the situation. Emily had been different lately, and for once she didn't think it had anything to do with her. "You know what I'm getting at. About whatever you wanted to talk to Hotch about."

"JJ, not now," the older woman sighed as she made it to her car.

"I just want to make sure you're okay, okay?"

"I'm fine."

JJ scoffed at the remark, "When did we start doing this?"

"What?"

"Lying to each other."

Emily laughed bitterly at the statement, "When did we not?"

JJ is taken aback by the anger in the statement, watching as Emily opened the backseat of her car and threw her bags inside. She moved meticulously as she opened the door of the driver's seat before closing it and leaning her body against it instead, crossing one foot over the other. "I thought- I said I wanted to be here for you and I meant it. If you're struggling- I'm your…JJ."

"No, JJ, you're not mine. You've never been mine. You're just JJ." She's not upset and it shows in her voice. It's even, just like she's sharing a fact about something completely inconsequential.

"We're back to this?" JJ asked as she shoved her hands into the shallow pockets of her slacks, taking a turn staring at the parking lot herself.

"JJ," Emily began as she softly touched the other woman's shoulder, "I'm not upset with you-"

"Yeah, Right," The blonde interrupted with a scoff.

"I'm really not, but we're always going to come back to this," she gently argued as she looks up towards the moon. It's not there. She can't find it and it explains why it's so impossibly dark. "It's not like your friendship between Garcia, or Reid, or Hotch. The way they can talk to you- if we go deeper, if you feel moved you tend to make spur of the moment decisions to make sure I'm okay. Somewhere along the line it became like a need for you. You have to know I'm okay. Whenever things get too deep, too real, things between us escalate and get physical. So there's some things that I can't- I don't think they're a good idea to get into if you don't want to cross the line."

"I can't," The blonde whispered after Emily pulled her into a hug, deeply inhaling and finding a sense of comfort in her smell.

"I know," it's barely discernable. Had JJ taken a breath at that exact time she wouldn't have even been able hear it. She listens to a few of Emily's shallow breaths before focusing on listening to Emily again, "I know you cant. I can't either."

JJ just stands there passively as Emily removes herself from the embrace and gets into her car. She watches idly as the car starts and Emily drives away, leaving her alone in the BAU parking lot. In a sick, twisted way she found herself wishing for another case, because she knew after that interaction it would be a while before Emily felt comfortable with her in a non-work environment again.

"What the fuck is wrong with you!" The blonde screamed when she was sure they were out of the team's sight, pushing Emily by the shoulders towards the operating base trailer. "I can take it!" She yells again, feeling incredibly guilty as soon as she sees Emily shake off the pain from her bruised body. "I'm sorry," she offers as the tears begin to fall, framing Emily's bruised face with hands. "You scared me."

"I know," Emily simply says with a shrug before JJ's arms carefully snake around her body.

"Don't ever do that again."

"Reid couldn't have handled it," Emily offers as JJ burrows into her neck, her hot breath giving Emily goose bumps.

"I couldn't handle it."

"You have Will."

"But I need you," JJ mumbles into her neck before pressing a gentle kiss. "Promise me you'll never do that again."

Emily smiles at the request, "Okay."

JJ chuckled at the insincere voice Emily used. She knew that Emily would never stop being Emily. Putting herself in harm's way for others was just what she did. It was why she loved her. She wasn't sure if it was the adrenaline from hearing Emily getting beaten and battered, or the rush from worrying that Emily had blown up in the compound, or just the natural sweet smell emanating from Emily's neck, but JJ suddenly feels invincible. She feels like she needs the assurance that she can have the other woman right now.

"Take me back to your apartment after we land."

"What?" Emily's thoroughly confused. Sure, hearing that JJ still needed her- still loved her- was intoxicating, but she hardly expected this.

JJ carefully ran her fingertips up Emily's sides and repeats again in a raspy voice, "Take me home after we land."