The loud knock startles her from her deep sleep.

JJ rushes to grab her gun and cautiously move towards the Parisian hotel room door. She looks out the peephole and sees Emily standing nervously in the overly adorned hallway. She quickly jerks the door open and pulls Emily inside.

"What the fuck are you doing here?" She's angry. Emily doesn't know if she's ever seen JJ this angry before and it causes her to break down. She slides down against the hotel room door and buries her head in her hands. "Emily? Em?" JJ's worried now, guilty about the way she had reacted before. She was just scared, not from the knocking but from seeing Emily. It wasn't safe. She needed Emily to be safe. She had been so careful to make sure Emily's new identity wasn't compromised and Emily didn't even seem to care. "Emily? Baby?" JJ crouches in front of the older woman and reaches out, her right hand hovering over Emily's shoulder.

"I can't do it," Emily barely gets out as she starts to hyperventilate. It scares JJ like she's never been scared before. Emily looks so fragile she's afraid if she touches her she'll break. But she's needs to touch her- if not for Emily at least for her own sake. She gingerly sits beside Emily and carefully wraps her arms around her.

"What can't you do?"

"I can't do this anymore." JJ stays silent, not even daring to breathe in case she misses something, and Emily takes it as a sign that she should continue on, "I can't live like this anymore."

"It's only been a-"

"I can't, JJ. What if we just lure Ian and-"

"Stop! Shut the fuck up with that!" JJ yells as she jerks her hands back. She's so angry. She's never felt so angry before because Emily didn't know, and it was her fault. Emily didn't know that JJ couldn't cope without having a chance of seeing her again. So yes, maybe it would take months, years even to find Ian, but at least Emily would be safe. There would be a chance. But if Emily was gone? Gone-gone? JJ couldn't survive that, and for some reason Emily didn't get that. And she didn't get it because of JJ. JJ couldn't live in a world without Emily in it. "You have to, end of discussion."

Emily doesn't respond, content to just stare at her picked and chipped fingernails. "Emily." JJ orders again, again not getting the attention of the women beside her. She jerks Emily's shoulder to get the older woman to focus on her and Emily looks into the normally clear blue eyes that are now reddened and puffy. "Em."

"What is it JJ?" She's frustrated now. She doesn't get why JJ wants torture her like this. She doesn't get how JJ just left her, and now she's back trying to tell her what to do. She doesn't owe anything to the blonde woman beside her. If anything there's a part of her that wants do the exact opposite of what she wants just to spite her. To punish her because it had been years and JJ still haunts her dreams. It had been years and she can still remember their first meeting word by word. JJ abandoned her, and when Emily thought she was going to die she still remembered her in what she thought would be her final minutes. Not Ashley who she had been dating and was supposed to love, not her mother or friends or anyone else- just JJ. She wanted to punish her because Emily never believed in soulmates or true love before she met JJ, and now she felt herself believing in it at the most inopportune time because the person she loved was in a longterm relationship with a man. And now she finds herself wishing for the crumbs of JJ's leftover love and affection because she finds the woman so perfect.

Emily hastily wipes her eyes and brings her knees up to her chin, wrapping her arms around her body. However, her barrier is broken as JJ moves even closer to whisper in her ear, "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry for everything. But I can't do this without you."

"What?" Their voices are so quiet that someone could walk into the room and assume no one was inside.

"Life," JJ says as she presses a soft kiss to the side of Emily's head. "Do it for me. Just hold on for a while and then you can come back," she begins intermittently through gentle kisses. "I'll fix everything back home. I never- I don't love him like you. You're my air."

"You'll leave him?" It's barely discernible, but JJ hears it anyway.

"Yes," JJ answers as she guides Emily to lie down on the floor, hovering over her. "I know I ask for too much. I know you're tired of this." JJ inhales Emily's scent before moving to lightly kiss the brunette's neck, "Emily, please, I need you. I need you. I need you."

She wakes up panting, quick to catch her breath before looking over to Will beside her still sleeping. It was odd. The past couple of weeks he had been exceptionally distant. Every time she asked him about it he said it was nothing. And annoyingly enough Emily was pretty distant herself. Needless to say, it was aggravating. She wondered what Emily had been hiding from her, assuming a few secretive phone calls meant that Seaver or someone else had wandered back into the picture, unless Emily had another psychotic undercover ex.

JJ pads down to the first floor and puts on the running shoes she left by the sliding door, grabbing her phone off the kitchen counter before walking outside. She vividly remembers her conversation with Rossi from two years prior. Maybe the most fragile and sensitive out of all of us. She thinks that if she was a better person she would call Emily. She would warn her about what's happening tomorrow. She would apologize for Paris and all the times before it. Except not for what happened between them- never for what happened between them because she replayed those moments in her head when she needed to calm herself. She takes out her phone and calls the person who had become her confidant over the past five years, briefly pausing before pressing send.

"Five years" She repeats aloud. She wonders if she would ever be able to really give Emily up. Even with "tomorrow" on the horizon it didn't look promising. Her thoughts were interrupted by the sleepy voice that picked up on the fourth ring. "Do you think I'm a coward?"

"Wait, what? What is this about?" Garcia asks thoroughly confused.

"Do you think I'm a coward?" JJ repeats as she begins to chew on her thumbnail and pace around the small patio.

Garcia shimmies up against the headboard to sit up and rubs the sleep from her eyes, "Honey, I have no idea what this is about."

Five years. It repeats in her head over and over again until JJ finally speaks up, "I'm marrying Will tomorrow."

"Oh, well, congratulations?" Garcia offers, but JJ doesn't respond so she figures that isn't what JJ wants in that moment. Then she remembers what JJ seems to long for in every moment, "I'm a little lost here buttercup. What did Emily say to you?"

"No, this isn't about Emily," JJ clarifies as she lets out a loud sigh. Why couldn't Garcia just read her mind like she always had before? It annoyed her to death, but Garcia was usually on to something with her absurd theories. "We haven't talked for a while. I think she's avoiding me."

"Okay."

"I was scared today."

"We all were."

"I was terrified Henry was going to lose his dad."

"Oh JJ-"

"But it wasn't like when Em was in danger," JJ admits as she sits on a children's painting table in the backyard. It felt wrong to admit it aloud; as if it should be one of those things she kept to herself, like all her deepest feelings about Emily.

"Oh."

"I don't think it was."

"Okay?"

"You're really trying" JJ laughed. She had never known Garcia to be so quiet, so reserved, maybe because she sensed the severity of the situation. This wasn't like all the other times before. Their relationship was really different this time. They hadn't gone back to the way the things were, but there was also a sense of bitterness there. Emily never really forgave JJ for not leaving Will, and, if she was being honest, JJ would have to admit that she really never forgave herself for it either. "I adore Will. I love him for giving me Henry and for being a good dad and for treating me well. I love how my family loves him- my mother loves him. But I don't think I've ever loved him like I loved Emily."

"This is not exactly news, baby butt."

"Uhh…"

"Sorry, felt unnatural even while I was saying it" Garcia admitted as the two started laughing. "On to your more serious note," The technical analyst proclaimed loudly, "I was well aware that Emmy 202 was always ranked a little higher."

JJ just nods, "I love the convenience that comes with Will, but I love Emily in spite of how hard it was. And now I've said I'd marry him even though my subconscious drifts back to her."

"Not to get all CW drama on you, but I think you love the idea of Will, but are in love with Emily." JJ just laughs in return. What could she really say to that? It was true. There was also the issue of JJ really loving Will as a person and wanting her son to grow up without a traditional family. She didn't want him to bounce around from house to house, constantly working out last minute arrangements because of her job. She'd never get full custody- she worried she might not even get joint. After Paris she had talked to a friend from college who gone on to be a divorce attorney. Her college friend had said that JJ's hypothetical "friend" could expect her ex to get joint legal and sole physical custody. "What do you want me to say, babes?"

"The truth. No matter how harsh I want the truth."

Garcia pulls the bright pink bedspread up to her chin, lowly sighing before speaking, "You like things to be comfortable. You have such a hard job and I don't you want to have a hard life too. You kinda want everyone to decide for you, and Emily didn't do that." Garcia reaches to turn off the yellow lava lamp before slinking back into bed and continuing on, "Emily wanted you to pick her. Emily wanted you to be ready to say 'I'm gay' or 'I'm bisexual' or 'I'm Prentissexual,' and you didn't do that. She wanted to test you. And you went along with Will. You love her. You've always loved her, but you aren't willing to fight for her."

"And she fought for me?"

Duh, she came back," Garcia says like it's the most stupid, obvious thing in the world. "Listen, I don't know the full story about what happened in Paris and for once I don't think it's my business to know. What I do know is that Em came back for you, but you're marrying Will because the idea of splitting up, Henry, all of that, it scares you. "

Garcia hears a small groan, almost like a whimper, on the other side of the phone, "This thing has been going on for five years and I'm exhausted."

"I'm exhausted," Garcia smiled when she heard the blonde chuckling, "It's been a lot of this: beginning and endings, beginnings and endings…"

JJ moves the phone away from her face as she takes a deep breathe and tries to swallow her building tears and steady her breath, "I can't count the number of 'beginnings' on one hand, but I think this is the first real ending." Garcia can hear the cracking in JJ's voice, but decides that in this moment JJ would prefer she ignore it. "I don't like uncertainty."

"I know buttercup. I don't think Em does either."

"Do you think- have I been awful to her?"

"I think…" Garcia begins before taking an audible breath, "I think Emily loves you, maybe too much. I think she'll always go back to you because you're JJ. I know you, JJ. I've known you for almost a decade and I don't think you would ever intentionally hurt anyone. You've hurt each other too many times to count. You've made life harder than it had to be and now you're living with those decisions." Garcia thought about lecturing her friend about how wrong her decisions were, about how she could still change things. There were a million things that Garcia wanted to say, but then she remembered the look JJ got any time she was with her son and she realized something for the first time. Jennifer Jareau hadn't picked Will. Right or wrong, misguided or not, she had chosen Henry. "You're not a coward. Honey, you were just scared. You just want things to be easy."

"I just want things to be easy," JJ repeats in a whisper.

"And I hope it is, babe. I hope it's worth it."

"So do I."

"You're going to make a beautiful bride."

"Thanks," JJ chokes out as she hangs up the phone. She briefly considers throwing her phone across the yard, but instead decides to go inside and toss it on the sofa before trudging up the stairs. She opens the door to Henry's room and notices a new book left haphazardly left near the side of the bed. He doesn't wake as she picks it up. It's an old and worn copy of Le Petit Prince. She briefly wonders who would have given it to him, and can't help but smile after she figures it out by asking herself what kind of "worldly" parent would read to their child in French.

The smile turns to frown when she questions when Emily would have had time to give him the book. Then she remembers asking Morgan and Garcia to take Henry home while she finished up with Will at the hospital. Emily must have gone over then. It had to be that day because Henry didn't have the book before. She asks herself why Garcia didn't mention the visit to her, but then she replays the conversation in her head and realizes that for the first time in years Garcia didn't try to force anything between her and Emily. Maybe Garcia had already known. The day before, JJ had officially chosen and, apparently, Emily had too.

She gently runs her hands through her son's golden locks before immediately leaving the little boy's room. She never did like him to see her cry.

"I had a feeling you'd still be here," Emily says from the doorway of Hotch's office. The entire building is quiet and dark beside the faint sound of vacuuming that can be heard from the break room.

"A bomb in Union Station is a surprising amount of paperwork," He offers with a grin before waving her in to take a seat across from him. Emily offers him a small shake of the head and remains standing instead. "Something wrong?"

"No," Emily says with a deep breath before setting a white, freshly printed paper on the edge of his desk, moving back to lean against the closed door. "I got a job offer from Interpol."

"Really," he replies as he gets up and walks to the other side of his desk, leaning against it and crossing his arms, "Good offer?"

"Yeah…"

"Emily?"

"It's a great offer, really." She doesn't know why she feels so uncomfortable. She's known Aaron for years now, probably knows him the best out of everyone, second only to Rossi. They understand each other on the most basic of levels, and, yet, she doesn't understand why she feels so uncertain and foolish in this moment. He interrupts her thoughts.

"You're leaving?"

"Yeah," Emily breathes out as she repositions her body against the cold door. "I think I am. I'm sorry- I am. I'm leaving."

Hotch nods before tilting his head to study the woman in front of him. She looks exhausted. The entire team was, himself included, but this was different. In this light, in this singular moment she looked completely bare, and it looked like past two years had finally collapsed upon her. He wondered how he had missed it. But then he remembered Rossi's phone call earlier that night…

"I came back because I thought it would be different, without realizing it would be different."

Hotch can't help but laugh at the convoluted statement, "That, well, that makes perfect sense to me."

"It does?"

"Yes," he reaffirms as he noticed her start to pick at her fingernails again.

"I'm too old to be doing this. I'm too old to be waiting for my life to start. It's already halfway over."

"You don't know that."

"You're right- who knows what kind of medical breakthroughs they'll make in the next couple of years."

Hotch offers her a sad smile and the mood immediately changes from lighthearted back to dark again, "Dave called you about JJ's…tomorrow…" He trails off, for some reason afraid that if he says it out loud she'll break right then and there.

Emily lets out a sigh, "It's not just that. It's hard being back here. It's impossible." He's surprised to hear her suddenly laughing, but it's a broken laugh. The kind of laugh that someone only lets out to stave off or hide a cry, "I'm happy for her, for them. I'm just not happy for me."

"It's hard to…" Hotch trails off. At first he doesn't really know what to say. But then he remembers the woman in front of him and extends the dignity and courtesy she would've afforded him if the situations were reversed. For Emily the worst thing wasn't just to feel broken and defeated, but for the world to know she was too. And Emily hadn't come to talk to him about JJ or the past year, she had come to talk about her job. "Did you talk to Morgan?"

"We touched on it...I'm going to."

"And you'll talk to Reid?" Emily merely nods at the question. "And I'm sure the all-knowing Agent Rossi already knows." Emily smiled at the lighthearted joke. "Okay then. I assume you're leaving soon?"

"Well that's what I needed to talk about," Emily says softly and she turns her attention back to her slender hands. "I know there's protocol, but I have a flight tomorrow night. Garcia offered to take Sergio for a while. He knows her house and it'll give me a chance to apartment hunt before coming back to pick him up."

"Well," He begins before standing and walking towards Emily, "I hope they're giving you a raise."

She smiles again before he embraces her in his arms, "Good luck with everything." He adds one final remark before pulling away, "I'll give JJ your regards tomorrow.

"Thank you, Aaron. And don't be so serious, okay? Don't mess things up with Beth either," She absentmindedly teases as she smoothed out the wrinkles on the sleeves of his shirt before handing over her firearm and badge, "And don't like my replacement as much as me."

He quietly chuckles before nodding earnestly and saying in a serious voice, "Fine, but I'm leaving the hazing to Garcia."

Emily offers an appreciative smile before opening the office door. The older agent walks back to his desk as Emily turns back a final time. "And you'll look out for…"

"I will."

And at that Emily walks out of the office, running her fingers along the wall, feeling every groove and imperfection as she approaches the small room she had spent so much time in. She thinks about walking in, breathing in the air one last time, laughing over the messy array of papers and Cheetos bags, but decides against it. It entire situation was almost funny.

She had always wanted JJ to choose and she finally had. Maybe she didn't realize she did, but Emily knew. It wasn't just the impending wedding. It was before that. It was when the bank exploded and Emily only heard JJ calling for Will in the distance. It was the way she barely even bothered to check that Emily was okay, instead rushing off to find Will. It was the way the older woman talked about her love of 66 years and refused to leave him, which seemed to mirror JJ's own actions.

Tragedy makes you evaluate. Tragedy makes you choose.

Emily please, I need you. I need you. I need you.

The memory causes her façade start to crack.

JJ hadn't followed through. The tragedy didn't make her choose Emily. She thought it had, but it was always Will. She chose to stay with Will. She had picked Will in that humid New Orleans police precinct and she had done it every day since then. She chose him when she briefly took the other job. She chose him when Emily was stabbed and left for dead. She chose him when they both could've died in an explosion. Bethesda was true- Emily could always come back to D.C. and JJ would always love her. Paris wasn't.

Emily felt the tears start to burn her eyes and knows she doesn't have enough time to make it to her car. She rushes into the bathroom closest to the building's exit before finally letting out her strangled cries and hiccups. Emily supports her head in her hands as her elbows rest on her knees, her entire body crumpled in half. She allows herself exactly 8 minutes to fall apart before leaving the stall and rising out her exhausted eyes. She straightens out her clothes and smoothens out her hair before taking a deep breath and leaving the building for the final time.

And sixteen hours later she gets on the plane.