Notes: something of a triumph
Disclaimer: I don't own Teen Titans or the skit they perform
That's not Normal
Ch. 2: Who's on first?
Beast Boy was going about his day like it was any other. He had his tofu and read the comics section of the newspaper. Since Raven, Robin, and Starfire were out, it was just him and Cyborg to watch the tower.
"Where is Cy anyway?" BB asked himself aloud.
He went up to Cyborg's room only to find it empty. Thankfully he didn't snoop around or mess anything up. So he went back downstairs and there was Cyborg sitting on the couch watching TV. It was a baseball game.
"Hey, Cy," Beast Boy said, "There you are. I've been looking for you."
"Why?"
"Because we're the only ones here. What're you watching?"
BB walked over and sat next to Cyborg.
"Baseball," replied Cy, "It's Jump City versus Steel City."
"Cool, mind if I watch?"
"Course not. You know, I know every team member on the Jump City team."
"Really?" BB was amazed
"Yeah, I've talked to them all and learned all their names."
"Well tell me their names so if I see them I can say hello."
"Okay, but I've gotta tell you that teams give their players funny names."
"I'm sure they do."
"Now let's see, Who's on first, What's on second, I Don't Know's on third-"
"I thought you knew the team," BB interrupted.
"I do."
"Well then tell me their names."
"I said Who's on first, What's on second, I Don't Know's on third-"
"You're a friend of theirs?" BB interrupted again.
"Yes."
"You know their names?"
"I should."
"Well tell me their names."
"Who's on first, What's on second, I Don't Know's on third."
"You haven't said anything to me yet," BB replied, "Go ahead and tell me."
"Who's on first, What's on second, I Don't Know is on third."
"You know the player's names?"
"Yes."
"Go ahead and tell me. Who's on first?"
"Yes," replied Cy.
"I mean the guy's name."
"Who."
"The guy playing first."
"Who."
"The guy playing first base."
"Who."
"The guy on first base."
"Who is on first, BB."
"What are you asking me for? I'm asking you who's on first."
"That's his name."
"Well, go ahead and tell me."
"Who."
"The guy on first."
"That's it."
Beast Boy smacked himself on the forehead.
"That's his name," Cy said.
"I didn't ask you anything."
"Yes, you did."
"You know the guy's name on first base?"
"Yes."
"Well, tell me the guy's name on first base."
"Who."
BB growled, "The guy playing first base."
"Who is on first, BB."
"What are you asking me for!?"
"Don't get excited."
"I'm asking you a simple question: Who's on first."
"Yes."
"Well go ahead and tell me."
"That's it."
"That's who?"
"Yes."
"I'm asking what's the guy's name on first base."
"Oh no, What's on second."
"I'm not asking you who's on second."
"Who's on first."
"One base at a time now!" BB shouted.
"Don't mix up the players, BB."
"I'm not mixing up anybody. Now what's the guy's name on first base?"
"What is on second."
"I'm not asking you who's on second."
"Who's on first."
"I don't know."
"He's on third, we're not talking about him."
"Wait a minute, how could I get on third base?" asked BB.
"You mentioned his name."
"I mentioned his name?"
"Yes."
"I don't know anybody on the team. How could I mention his name?"
"You did, you just mentioned it."
"All right, what's the guy's name on third?"
"What's on second."
"Who's on second?"
"Who's on first."
"I don't know."
"He's on third."
Beast Boy groaned, "I didn't even mention the guy's name on third base."
"Yes you did, BB."
"All right, then who's playing third base?"
"No, Who's on first."
"I'm not asking you what's on first."
"What's on second."
"Who's on second?"
"Who's on first."
"I don't know."
"He's third base," they both said.
"I don't know anybody on the baseball team!" BB cried.
"You do, you mention their names," Cy replied.
"I do?"
"Sure."
"You know the outfield?"
"Naturally."
"The left fielder's name."
"Why."
BB paused for a few seconds.
"I just thought I'd ask you."
"Well, I just thought I'd tell you," Cy replied.
"Well go ahead and tell me."
"Tell you what?"
"The left fielder's name."
"Why."
"Because I wanna know," BB shot back, "Because."
"No, he's center field. You know these players as well as I do."
"Who's in center field?"
"No, Who's on first."
"What's on first?"
"What's on second."
"I don't know."
"Third base," they said in unison.
"Do you know the guy's names on the team?" BB questioned.
"Look, BB you don't understand. See there's a first baseman-"
"I know you've got a first baseman. I ask you what's the first baseman's name."
"No, What's the second baseman's name."
"I'm gonna stop asking. I ask you what's the first baseman's name."
"What's the second baseman's name."
"I don't even get past first…all right, who's on second?"
"Who's on first."
"What base do you wanna talk about?!"
"We can talk about any one you wanna talk about."
"All right now, who's on first?"
"Right."
"Okay."
Beast Boy took a moment to think.
"Okay, you've got a first baseman. When they pay off the first baseman, who gets it?"
"Every dollar of it," Cy replied.
"Who does?"
"Yes."
BB didn't know what to say.
"Sometimes his wife goes down to get it."
"Who's wife?"
"Yes."
BB started shaking his head.
"Why not, BB? He's earned it."
"Who did?"
"Yes."
"When they pay off the first baseman every month, they get a receipt from the guy?"
"Sure."
"How does he sign his name?"
"Who."
"The guy you give the money to."
"Who."
"The guy you give the money to."
"Well that's how he signs it, BB."
"That's how who signs it?"
"Yes."
"Well go ahead and tell me."
"That's it."
"Who?"
"Right."
"Look, they go to the first baseman and they say 'here's your money, sign the receipt.' How does he sign his name?"
"Who."
"The guy you give the money to."
"That's how he signs it."
"That's how who signs it?"
"Yes."
"Sure."
BB jumped up off the couch.
"They've gotta get a receipt from the guy, don't they?"
"They get one, BB."
"How does the guy on first base sign his name?"
"Who."
"The guy on first."
"That's how he signs it."
"I'm asking ya, when they give the guy the money, what's the guy's name you give the money to?"
"Wait a minute, What signs his own."
"Who signs his own?"
"No, Who signs his."
"I mean what's the guy's name on first-"
"What is on second."
"I'm not asking you who's on second!"
"Who's on first."
"I don't know."
"Third base," both said.
BB grumbled to himself.
"Left fielder's name, center field, I don't know. They've got a pitcher?"
"Fine team without a pitcher," Cy replied.
"The pitcher's name?"
"Tomorrow."
BB groaned out loud.
"I can't change their names."
"You don't wanna tell me today?"
"I'm telling you."
"Go ahead, tell me the pitcher's name."
"Tomorrow."
"Why not tell me today?!"
"I'm telling you now."
"Then tell me the pitcher's name."
"Tomorrow!"
"All right, what time tomorrow are you gonna tell me the pitcher's name?"
"What time what?"
"What time tomorrow are you gonna tell me who's pitching?"
"Who is not pitching."
"I'll break your arm you say who's on first!"
BB caught his breath.
"I wanna know what's the pitcher's name."
"What's on second."
"I don't know."
"Third base," both replied.
"Third base. Third base. Third base," BB mumbled.
He turned back to Cyborg.
"Have they got a catcher?"
"Certainly they've got a catcher on a baseball team."
"Catcher's name?"
"Today."
"Today. Tomorrow's pitching, today's catching."
"Now you've got it."
"Now I've got it," BB said mockingly, "All I've got…we've got a couple of days on the team, that's all."
"I can't help that, BB."
"You know, Cy, I'm a pretty good catcher myself."
"So you've told me."
"Now I get behind the plate and I'm gonna do some fancy catching and Tomorrow's pitching on my team, right?"
"Yeah."
"Now Tomorrow, he winds up the ball and I'm behind the plate and a heavy hitter gets up. That heavy hitter gets up and he's ready to hit the ball and Tomorrow's gonna throw the ball and I'm gonna catch it. Now Tomorrow throws it and the guy bunts the ball. Now when he bunts the ball, me being the good catcher, I'm gonna throw the guy out at first base. So I pick up the ball and throw it to who?"
"Now that's the first thing you've said right," Cy commended him.
"I don't even know what I'm talking about!"
"Well that's all you have to do."
"I throw the ball to first base."
"Yes."
"Now who's got it?"
"Naturally."
"Sure."
BB let out a scream.
"The guy is running to first base and I wanna throw the guy out, so I throw the ball to who?"
"Naturally."
"I throw it to who?"
"Naturally."
"Now who's got it?"
"Naturally."
"So I pick up the ball and I throw it to Naturally-"
"No, no, no," Cy interrupted, "You throw the ball to first base then Who gets it."
"Naturally," BB replied.
"That's it. Now you've got it," Cy said with a pat on Beast Boy's back.
"So I pick up the ball and I throw it to Naturally-"
"You don't!"
"I throw it to who?"
"Naturally."
"That's what I'm saying! I said I throw the ball to who?"
"Naturally."
"You ask me."
"You throw the ball to Who."
"Naturally. Same as you! I throw the ball to Naturally!"
"You don't! You throw it to Who."
"Now who's got it?"
Naturally," both said.
"That's what I said. Whoever it is better get it!"
"Don't worry about Who. Who'll get it."
"He better get it! Now I throw the ball to whoever it is, but the guy runs to second. Who picks up the ball and throws it to What, What throws it to I Don't Know, I Don't Know throws it back to Tomorrow. Triple Play!"
"Could be," Cy replied.
Just then, Rae, Rob, and Star came in, but said nothing as BB continued his rant.
"Another guy gets up and hits a long fly ball to Because. Why? I Don't Know! He's on third, and I don't give a darn!"
"What did you say?" Cy asked.
"I said I don't give a darn!"
"Oh, he's the shortstop."
BB let out an enormous scream and stormed out. Cyborg followed close behind, determined to straighten out his friend. The remaining three stayed where they were standing.
Star looked Robin and asked, "What has happened?"
Robin replied, "I don't know."
Raven smirked and said, "Third base."