EDITED; Added some shit, to make the transitions a bit smoother
Chapter Two
Looking out over the village, basking in the sunset's warmth, Akari closes her eyes peacefully. She knows Kakashi followed her, and was about to call him out of the tree he's in.
Before she could, a child about the same age as her gasps. Akari realizes her henge is down, and that her cat ears and tail are visible. Ears folding back, she glares at the kid before putting her henge back up.
A boy with wide almost-black blue eyes backs up, tripping on nothing and falling back on his butt. His black hair is ruffled up in the back, "Like a duck's ass," Akari muses, smirking at the glare the kid gives her.
"Hey! Who are you! And why do you have cat ears and a tail!" The kid- Sasuke?- yells, pointing at her accusingly.
"Ah, and I was hoping you didn't see them," She says despairingly, "Oh well, what's been seen has been seen. I am your long-lost dead sister who has come back to haunt you, Sasu-asshat!" Akari puts up a minor genjutsu to make her seem transparent. Sasuke, now dubbed Asshat, looks at her dubiously.
"That doesn't explain the cat ears and tail." He deadpans, sitting next to her on the Fourth Hokage's stone head.
"Uh, I died and was taken and experimented on by, uh, Orochimaru, the evil Snake Sannin. He made me part cat." Sasuke nods, as if that makes perfect sense.
"So why are you haunting me then, and why did you call me Ah-ss-hat?" Sasuke queries, trying, and failing, to look calm and collected.
"I want you to get extre- uh, super-super-strong and avenge my death by killing and teabagging Orochimaru. Can you promise to fulfill my last wish before I uh, move on to the afterlife?" Akari says, seemingly a hundred percent as serious as Sasuke is trying to be.
"Yes, I promise, Nee-san." Sasuke nods, looking as serious as a kid his age could. Akari nods, smiling softly at Sasuke, not at all feeling guilty for messing with him.
"Thank you, Otouto. Word of advice, Itachi-nii will always love you, no matter what he does or says otherwise, okay? Remember, everything he does is for peace, everything he does has a reason more complex than what he'll tell you." After he nods hesitantly, she casts a minor genjutsu that makes it so she fades away, then quickly runs away, not wanting to stay any longer than necessary. Kakashi, no longer guilty about breaking Akari's arm after witnessing her play Sasuke smoother than any pianist could play piano. He poofs in front of her right before she could approach her door.
"Maa, that wasn't very nice, messing with the Uchiha heir's younger brother like that." Akari glares, unable to hold back some killing intent coming from her.
"Move, Bakashi-teme. I want ice cream." Kakashi sighs, walking into her house and sitting on the couch to wait for Akari to get her ice cream. Soon after he sits down, Akari sits on the cushion next to his, shoveling ice cream into her mouth, which appears to still have a mask on. "Break the genjutsu and I'll break you, Bakashi-teme." Looking around, Kakashi notes how clean the house is despite the child living there.
"Why'd you lie to him?"
"It's motivation to get stronger, quickly. Plus, not like I was lying. Noo, not at all. My mom was an Uchiha, I'm totally a relative of Asshat, Oro-chan helped me become part cat, I died, and until he kills Oro-chan I won't move onto the afterlife. Yeah, totally one hundred percent true." Akari says, voice dripping with as much sarcasm as she could manage, even though all of that actually was true. Feeling the genjutsu break, Kakashi looks back to see the ice cream gone and Akari's mask back on.
All of a sudden Akari jumps up, turning to Kakashi. "Ah! Fuck! Uh, do you know Shisui? Is he uh, in the village?" Akari stutters, hands on Kakashi's shoulders. She looks worried, shoulders tense. Kakashi takes note of this and raises an eyebrow.
"He committed suicide a few days ago. Did you not know?" Akari poofs away, not answering as she arrives in a seemingly random place in the forest. Going to the biggest tree in the nearby area, she vanishes down through an invisible hole under the tree's visible roots. Dark eyes adjust to the dim light to see a set of dirt packed stairs leading into the darkness.
Akari goes down the stairs, forcing chakra into her hand to light the way down. Her face is grim as she finally arrives in an extremely vast open rectangular area, tapping a fuinjutsu seal that activates some on the ceiling, lighting up the entire area.
Along the walls are dug-out shelves made of dirt, carrying scrolls after scrolls, all stories handwritten in English, and all information written in her secret language. The rest of the scrolls are fuinjutsu scrolls.
Going to the far wall full of events that she knows happens in the canon Naruto plot, she picks up a dark blue scroll with a red ribbon signifying any events about death wrapped around it.
Unfurling the scroll, she reads through it, looking for the character information part of the event. Finding it, she reads it aloud in English, saying what the abbreviations are instead of what it actually says.
"Uchiha Clan Massacre Character Information: Old Bag of Douche-y-ness~ Still as ugly as ever, gains many Sharingan Eyes, I think. Ita-nii~ 13 year; gains Mangekyo Sharingan Eye soon before Uchiha Massacre during Shi's bye, or death. Asshat~ 7 year; late because of training; doesn't remember the love, regret, and tears exuding off of Ita-nii. Obi-sama~ Still as sexy as ever, in his awesome state of 22 year, sends the U-C-P? Huh, the Uchiha Clan Police into the abyss." Akari hesitates, before rolling the scroll back up and sitting down.
"I really need to fix that. Uchiha Clan Police is U-C-P. How did I not catch that the first time? … Oh well. I need to train, but I also need to sleep, and Kakashi is probably confused, looking for me." Akari sighs, curling up in a ball and meditating until she falls asleep.
At the Uchiha clan head's house, Sasuke is training as hard as he can. Itachi looks at his younger brother, worrying if Sasuke found out about the massacre he is going to join in tomorrow, and thought he could stop him.
"Otouto, why are you training so hard?" Itachi asks, hiding his worry. Sasuke turns to Itachi, face brightening.
"Nii-san!" Sasuke runs up to Itachi, grinning up at him. Itachi's black eyes look down at Sasuke softly, love clear in his gaze. A few black strands escape his low ponytail and move gently in the breeze. Itachi repeats his question, and Sasuke frowns, looking down.
"Our long-lost dead sister made me promise to get super-super-strong so I could avenge her death! Oh, Itachi?" Itachi hid his surprise. Who said she was his long-lost dead sister? They most definitely didn't have one, and Itachi is sure no Uchiha he knew would say that, besides… He cuts off his line of thought, still mourning Shisui's death.
"Yes?" Itachi says, still thinking on who the person could be.
"What's an Asshat? Who's Orochimaru the evil Snake Sannin? And what's teabagging?" Itachi's thoughts screech to a stop at his words, immediately knowing that it was their supposed long-lost dead sister who told him the words. Deciding that the person most definitely wasn't an Uchiha- not even Shisui would say that- Itachi wonders if maybe he could leave Sasuke with a supposed family member after all.
"Don't repeat the words you hear-." Itachi hesitates, thinking up a title and hoping the girl said he was older than her, "Imouto say unless you know they aren't bad, okay? You're long-lost Imouto is still alive, actually. She's-." He pauses unnoticeably again, "in your class, actually. The reason you haven't seen or heard of her is because her friend's mother got exiled from the clan and she demanded to leave as well, and found out about you yesterday."
Sasuke's eyes brightened from the previous confusion clouding them. "So she's alive! I have a Nee-san! And we'll be in the same class!" Itachi's eyes soften even more, watching Sasuke ramble about her. Maybe he wouldn't need to worry about Sasuke's safety. Hopefully the girl that Kakashi-senpai was complaining about to him is the same one that met Sasuke. The descriptions match, if Sasuke's description is true. Kakashi was looking for her earlier. Itachi wonders if he found her.
The next day, Sasuke was glaring at the door. There was no way Nii-san lied! Which means that Nee-san is very late. It's almost time for lunch break! Iruka-sensei should be back soon with the Dobe, if she isn't here by then-
His thoughts are interrupted by a knock on the door. The door slides open to reveal a silver-haired man carrying his Nee-san. He jumps up, pointing accusingly at the silver-haired man.
"What are you doing with Nee-san!" Sasuke yells, glaring at the man who looks back dully.
"Maa, I'm just bringing her to class. Calm down." Looking around, Kakashi walks in and plops her on the teacher's desk. Waving to her, he poofs out of existence to head to Itachi. What was she doing talking to him instead of being in class? Why didn't Itachi tell her to go to class?
"It's okay, Ita-chan. I'll take care of him and train him up to perfection. Also, if you ever meet anyone called Tobi, tell him I'm his biggest fan and will never leave his side unless forced if I see him, okay? He's so fucking awesome, ah, why couldn't I have been born sooner to befriend him." Akari smiles at Itachi, before frowning and waving bye to him, running away. Kakashi quickly poofs before her.
"Not so fast, Neko-chan. Don't you have school?"
When Kakashi shuts the door, Akari grumbles, brushing herself off after standing. Looking up at the group of students, she waves slightly.
"Uh, yo. I'm the new student that you all probably didn't hear of. You can call me anything you want, as long as it's fitting. Please take care of me, or whatever." She looks around the room, eyes brushing over Sasuke more than once. Walking up to him, she collapses next to him on the bench, accidentally shoving a blond girl off of the bench.
"Hey! I was sitting there!" Akari glares, sitting up as an intimidating aura surrounds her.
"Yeah, was. I'm sitting here now. If any of you dare go after my otouto, then you have to go through me first, got it? Stupid fangirls," She raises her voice so that the entire class hears her. Scared, the blond scrambles away.
Sasuke stares at her, eyes wide. "How'd you do that? Even when I glare at them, they don't leave me alone!" Akari shrugs, a smirk on her face.
"I just held them at bay, I can't stop them from getting to you, but now you can just push them to me whenever they're bothering you. Plus," Akari adds, raising her voice just enough so the blond now sitting behind them could hear, "I know you only like girls who can beat you in a spar, and don't care about weaklings or girls who diet." Sasuke blushes, also raising his voice, except out of embarrassment instead. He didn't know Akari was trying to manipulate his fangirls to get stronger.
"What? No! I want them to be able to carry themselves in a fight, yeah. But strength isn't everything! They have to be nice and they can't be annoying!" Akari chuckles as the blond -Is that Ino Yamanaka?- takes notes, a pinkette -Sakura Haruno?- whispering with her.
Akari leans back, the conversation and her job done. Iruka walks into the room, carrying a tied-up blond whiskered boy wearing traffic-cone orange, or Naruto. After his rant, he looks at her and his face immediately reverts to it's normal size.
"Ah, class! We have a new student, did you already introduce yourself?" Akari nods, pointing to the bright blue eyed boy sprawled out on the floor.
"Uh huh. Who's he?" The boy she pointed at jumps up, bright blue eyes alight with determination, orange overcoat flapping in a breeze that shouldn't exist..
"I'm Naruto Uzumaki, believe it! I'm future Hokage!" Akari tilts her head, shrugging.
"Okay. Wanna sit by me?" His eyes widen, suspicion and disbelief written over his face.
"Why?" Naruto asks, fiddling with his bright traffic-cone orange overshirt discreetly. Akari shrugs again, ignoring her proclaimed otouto's questioning glare. How a glare could be questioning, she doesn't know.
"I need a friend or two, and you and Sasuke seem to fit the bill pretty well. Also that guy sleeping in the corner with a black pineapple for hair and bug-dude with unique sunglasses. They would make great friends as well." Naruto looks at the two kids mentioned.
"Shino and Shikamaru?" Akari shrugs once again.
"So…? Do you wanna be my friend? Or not?" She asks bluntly, not caring whether she seems odd to anyone.
Honestly, after getting caught trying to escape because she got put in the class filled with canon characters that she wants nothing to do with, she gave up and decided to make friends with all of her favorite canon characters. Sasuke and Kakashi were actually on her list of most annoying characters, but it's too late to escape their notice.
Sadly, most of her favorite characters are bad guys at the moment. Like Obito, Gaara, Hidan, Kurama, Sai, and Sasori. All of which are currently mass murderers that enjoy killing humans, besides Sai.
Akari sighs, glancing wearily at Sasuke. "Hey, Sasu-chan, Asshat. This kid may be annoying and idiotic, but can you please at least try to get along with him? You need friends too, and I just labelled who I won't scare away." She whispers to a skulking Sasuke.
Seeing the sincere hope in her eyes, Sasuke begrudgingly nods with a sigh. "Fine. Yeah, come sit by us, dobe." Naruto smiles and runs over to us, sitting by me. Luckily, he didn't hear what Sasuke called him.
Akari visited Sasuke in the hospital when he woke up after the Uchiha Massacre. He wouldn't let her go for an entire day, and she didn't try to escape his grasp. She cried with him, feeling guilty that she didn't try and stop it. She could have easily stopped it, but didn't.
Akari looks down at Sasuke, who is sleeping calmly in her arms. A knock at the window alerts her to Naruto's presence and she uses a chakra string to open the window quietly. "Is he okay? I mean, will he be?" Akari shrugs, laying Sasuke down so she could quietly talk to Naruto without waking him.
"His entire clan got killed by his older brother, Itachi. I've talked it through with him, and he promised me that he wouldn't seek revenge, but answers instead from Itachi. I'm the only one he has left that he thinks of as family. Hopefully we can be there for him, even though we just met him recently." Naruto's eyes darken at that, moonlight making him look ominous.
"He's not alone. I promise to become the best of friends with him, and take his mind off of the massacre as much as I can, dattebayo!" Naruto says fiercely, only to be shushed by Akari. They both look to see Sasuke awake, looking at them.
"Thank you guys, for not showing pity, for being there for me." Naruto's eyes widen comically, gasping melodramatically.
"Did the great Sasuke-kun just thank me? Oh no! The world is ending! I didn't even get to become Hokage, dattebayo!" Akari gasps just as dramatically, hands flying to her face.
"Oh no! Don't worry Naru-chan! I'll take care of your plants." Both of their eyes water up, trying their hardest not to laugh.
"Shut up, Nee-chan, dobe." Sasuke scoffs, blush invisible in the dark. All three of them laugh, only for a nurse to come in and scold them.
"You shouldn't be in here, demon! Only family members are allowed to-" She gets cut off by being slammed into the wall by Akari, eyes wide and shaking because of the killing intent leaking off of Akari.
"What gives you the right to call him a demon! He's less of one than you, evil witch! And what if he is family? Huh? You have no right to scold us when we're just trying to cheer up the boy who just lost everything! If you ever call Naruto Uzumaki, our otouto, future fucking Hokage, that again, I'll kill you!" Akari growls, voice getting louder until it's a shout. Sasuke and Naruto stare at her, wide eyed. The nurse shakily nods and sprints out of the room, Akari slamming the door behind her. Rubbing the back of her head, Akari laughs awkwardly. "Sorry, I didn't mean to ruin the mood."
Naruto opens his mouth, but Sasuke beats him to it. "No, the mood was ruined when she called … Otouto, a demon. What you did was fine." Naruto looks at both of us, surprised.
"W-what? You guys don't think I'm a monster? A demon?" Sasuke snorts at that, and Akari hides her surprise of that fact with a chuckle.
"You, Naru-chan? A demon?"
"Demons and monsters are scary, giant, powerful, and evil. You're small, wear bright orange, want to become Hokage, and are the dead last in class."
"Yeah, if anything, you're the exact opposite of a monster, or demon. An awesome motherfucker." Sasuke looks at Akari, dubious.
"An awesome … person? I don't think that's the exact opposite. Aren't angels-"
"Nope. Angels kill humans sometimes too. But an awesome motherfucker wants to protect everyone, and can see the good in everything." After arguing back and forth for a while, they turn to Naruto.
"Dobe!" Sasuke yells at the same time Akari calls him.
"Naru-chan!" Akari calls at the same time Sasuke yells to him. They glare at each other.
"Who's right?" They both yell in unison, ignoring the bang on the wall.
They both grunt in surprise as Naruto glomps them, something wet dripping on both of their shoulders'. "Naru-chan? Are you okay? What's wrong?" Akari asks, worry written on her face. Naruto laughs, pulling away to wipe at his tears.
"You guys are the best! I'm just so happy that- that you guys- Wahhh!" Naruto crushes them in a hug again. Sasuke smirks.
"Naruto, crying? Oh, no. The world is-"
"Shut up teme!"
"Whatever, dobe." They all laugh again, this time with no nurse walking in to scold them. Naruto, Sasuke, and Akari became a lot closer after that, going to Akari's HQ, her underground base that she dug out and went to the day before the massacre, to train and both moved into her house, because they didn't like being so far away from each other.
Sasuke was the one who cooked, Akari was the one who cleaned, and Naruto was the one to bring up their spirits when they were down. Kakashi basically vanished once he dropped her in her class the first day, and she's never seen him since.
"Hey, Nee-chan." Sasuke starts, sitting on a couch. That couch is the couch that was put in the hallway for some reason, and anytime someone wants to go to the bathroom with the shower in it, they have to jump over the couch to get there.
"Hm?" Akari replies, not looking up from cleaning the shower. They're now eleven, and they started pranking together soon after becoming friends, known throughout Konoha as 'The Troublesome Three'. Sasuke lays down, looking at her.
Naruto was currently brushing his teeth in the same bathroom Akari was cleaning, because Akari accidentally crushed the sink in the other bathroom. Not even she knew how that happened.
"You are the only one of us three that has a guardian, right? So where is he?" Sasuke asks, causing Naruto to nod and hum agreement to something.
"Yaff, wush lee doon?" (Yeah, what's he doing?) Akari shrugs, finally looking at Sasuke.
"He's a Jonin, and also the only one who caught me when I stole from him. The Hokage forced him to become my guardian because he thought that it would stop me from stealing and pranking if I joined the academy." Naruto chokes on his saliva, spitting out the toothpaste. After he stops coughing, he starts laughing.
"You? Stop stealing and pranking? Ha! If anything, you do it more often now!" Sasuke agrees with Naruto, continuing his question.
"So he gives no fucks about you?" Sasuke says, repeating the sentence Akari says a lot. Naruto reprimands him on language, and Akari looks at Naruto, confused.
"He swore? Holy fuck, really?" Naruto then reprimands Akari on her language. "I swore? When? I didn't know about this. Oh, yeah, Asshat. Bakashi-teme doesn't care about me. He tries catching me, but he never knows which is which when we fuin-henge into the trio of green haired boys that I made." Sasuke furrows his eyebrows, frowning.
"That's not what a guardian should do. Maybe we should get him back for his incompetence?" Sasuke suggests, making Naruto grin mischievously.
"I have an idea, dattebayo!"
Which lead to what she, Sasuke, and Naruto were doing now. Standing in front of the Jonin apartment complexes, in fuinjutsu-created henges as the same, green eyed, green haired boy wearing a dark green hoodie matching their hair, and camouflage pants.
They all glance at each other, nodding seriously. The three friends vanish, concealing their chakra with a fuinjutsu seal that Akari gave them a few years ago.
"Raven on top level, report Wolf." Sasuke as Raven murmurs into his hidden mic, brushing away his green bangs, green eyes bored.
"Wolf half-way done with distraction, estimated time of activation two minutes. Estimated time of distraction, a half hour, maybe more if Anbu aren't involved. Fox?" Akari, now named Wolf whispers, green eyes mischievous.
"Look out areas complete, Fox's shadow in place, dattebayo. Ready when you are, Raven." Naruto as Fox mutters, handing a bag of smoke tags to Wolf. Wolf nods and Fox disappears.
"Wolf, you ready?" Ravn asks.
"All preparations complete, activating in 3, 2, 1… Now!"
A huge explosion rocks the building.
"AHH! EVERYONE THERE'S A SPY IN THE BUILDING! CATCH THEM THEY HAVE SILVER HAIR AND RED EYES! HE'S HEADING TOWARDS THE KAGE TOWER! HE'S -ARRGH!" Wolf yells out, before transforming into said discription, laughing maniacally.
"HAHAHAHA! ALL SHALL DIE IN A WORK OF BEAUTIFUL ART! AFTER ALL, ART, IS AN EXPLOSION!" Wolf screams out, before sprinting away from the Jonin chasing her. Heading in the direction of the Kage tower, alarms ring around the village.
"Fuck fuck fuck- Hurry! They're starting to involve Anbu!" Wolf whispers into her mic, gracefully dodging kunai, shuriken, and - "They're using jutsu! I can - they have ROOT involved!" Wolf murmurs, dodging an ink tiger from her favorite character in Konoha, Sai, and going out of sight to quickly change her appearance, running alongside the Jonin now. Before a giant-ass dog tackles her, of course. Kawarimi-ing herself with a log, she dodges Kakashi's hand filled with lightning. "Wolf status: fighting Copy-Nin. Report!"
"Raven status: almost done with the top floors." Raven replies hurriedly.
"Fox status: available for distraction, what do you need?" Fox answers, lax.
"Stink bombs ASAP! SHIT IT'S MIGHT GAI HURRY FOX!" Wolf jumps out of the way of the Taijutsu master Gai's punch, spinning around Kakashi's kunai. Eyes watering at the sight of Gai's grass green spandex suit, she reaches for some fuinjutsu tags. Pulling out the smoke bombs and glitter explosion tags she sets them all off, hoping her experimental fuinjutsu seal on her works as they explode, giving her cover. They do, and the explosions don't affect within a foot radius of her.
"Meet up at Kami's." Fox says into the mic, heading towards his favorite ramen stand.
"Fox we didn't agree to that being the name." Raven replies drawly.
"Shut up! Kami is way better than Fox's Cove!" Fox snipes back.
"Dobe."
"Teme!"
"Shut up. It's Kami's now. Go!" Wolf interrupts their fight, jumping away and henging to the silver haired man again as she slips into Ichiraku's and asks for two bowls of miso ramen, one extra sweet.
"Get me two!" Fox yells into the mic. Rubbing her ear, Wolf corrects her order. Teuchi chuckles, knowing what that was after she orders the extra sweet one. He usually is in on most of the pranks, knowing what was going to happen according to their plans
This was a constant rendezvous point for the three since it covered their tracks with it's delicious scents and tastes, and it made it harder for the Aburame bugs to find each other, if they were ever marked. Checking for any bugs, and taking off her coat to turn it this way and that, she nods. No Aburame Clan's bugs on her, good.
Naruto, now disguised as a black haired brown eyed girl, hands over the stink bombs. Teuchi places the bowls down, one in front of Wolf and the other two in front of Fox. "Are you guys seriously eating ramen right now?" Raven asks, incredulous.
"I just ran from the entire apartment complex of Jonin and got chased by Anbu, the special assassination and black ops corporation! Shut it, Raven! After you report and are safe at Kami's, of course." Wolf snaps, eating her ramen with rigor, not letting a drop escape. Raven sighs, eye roll almost audible.
"Fine. Raven: Done. All Jonin now have neon pink clothes and bedsheets, underwear and bra's included. And the emergency supply is also taken care of. I added a few things around the complex, though. Estimated time of Arrival, ETA, is a minute." Wolf looks at Fox, who groans.
"Can't I just not do it? You already know!" Fox yells.
"Raven doesn't, and your shadow clones need to report as well." Wolf scolds, taking Fox's bowl of ramen until he gives up.
"Fine. Fox's shadow: All clear. Fox's report: At Kami's place and waiting on Raven." He grumbles right as Raven appears.
Wolf nods, and they all unhenge. Fox goes back to Naruto, Raven back to Sasuke, and Wolf back to Akari. Akari grins, fistbumping Sasuke and highfiving Naruto. They were all celebrating the mission's success until Teuchi brings up a point.
"The village is on lockdown until the A-Rank threat is weeded out. Someone needs to take blame." Akari frowns, holding out her fist. The two look at her surprised, she usually takes the blame.
"The Hokage can see through the fuin-henge. I'm not in the mood for lectures." Glancing at each other, they both put out their fists.
"3, 2, 1, go!" Akari chooses rock, Sasuke and Naruto choose scissors. "3, 2, 1, go!" Naruto chooses paper, and Sasuke goes with rock. Naruto cheers as Sasuke puts on his henge reluctantly. Looking resigned, Sasuke slumps out of the shop, handing over his inventory as he walks extremely slowly to his doom.
On the way he runs into Shikamaru's dad, Shikaku Nara, the head of the Nara clan full of lazy geniuses. Once Shikaku notices the henge, he's too smart not to, he sighs. "Prank gone wrong?"
"Hn. No, distraction went way too well." The green haired boy mumbles, kicking a stone. Shikaku chuckles.
"The Troublesome Trio again? Which one are you, Fox? Wolf? Raven? I'll get you out of trouble if you tell me your real identity." Other Jonin around hear this and start surrounding the member.
"Just tell us who you are! We'll get you out of trouble! Promise!" Sasuke smirks.
"My name…" The less trained Jonin lean in as he continues, "is Raven, or Karasu. No family name. So, you said you'd get me out of trouble, Shikaku-chan? I gave you my true identity. You're smart enough to do it on your own, right?" Sasuke poofs away after hearing Shikaku groan and mutter something about how troublesome the Troublesome Three were.
Sasuke walks back to Ichiraku's, much to the disappointment of some Jonin that were following him. Sitting away from the two still eating in the shop, he orders Shio ramen. Knowing what that meant, Naruto looks over and 'notices' Sasuke.
"Nee-chan! It's one of the Troublesome Three! Hey!" Sasuke looks over, seeing Naruto wave at him. Tilting his head, he turns slightly towards him, wondering what the Dobe was up to now.
"Hey! Hey! Can you teach us, dattebayo! We wanna be as good as you at pranking one day!" Naruto yells, excited.
"Yeah! Teach us! Sasuke's in the bathroom right now, but can you teach him as well? I'm sure he wouldn't mind!" Akari adds, grinning with as much hero-worship on her face as on Naruto's.
Then, at the same time, they both say, "Please? You said no last time, but-"
Before they could mess up their act, Sasuke cuts in perfectly.
"No." Both of them look devastated, eyes widening into puppy eyes. Rolling his eyes, Akari smirks at him, nodding. The Jonin left, it's safe to unhenge. Unhenging and walking over, he sits by Naruto, furthest from where he once sat.
"One Miso ramen, tomatoes included." Teuchi says, placing the bowl in front of Sasuke. This wasn't the first time one of them ordered when disguised as the green eyed green haired boy, and Teuchi knew what they meant whenever they did order, as long as they used their own order. Sasuke ordered Shio, Naruto ordered Shoyu, and Wolf, or Nee-chan, ordered Tonkotsu whenever they were in disguise, but Sasuke likes Miso ramen with tomatoes, Naruto likes regular Miso, and Wolf likes a little extra sweetness in her Miso ramen.
Once Sasuke finishes and Akari pays, they all head towards the forest to lay low in Akari's headquarters so Kakashi can't track their scents. Before they even reach the forest, Akari pales and transforms, as do the other two.
"Shit, which is closest? Raven's? Ghost town! Now!" They all sprint in the direction of Sasuke's headquarters, the Uchiha Clan compound, but a poof stops them in their tracks. At that one moment in time, they are all thinking the same thing, 'Shit.'
"Which one is Neko?" A very angry Kakashi Hatake growls, killing intent causing the three to be on guard.
"Fox, what should Wolf and I do? Give away Neko? Run?" Raven asks, pulling out stink bombs. He's curious, who the hell is Neko? Wolf shifts unnoticeably at that, pulling out a smoke bomb. Fox smirks, pulling out a glitter bomb.
"No, we bomb us, the seals we created work, and the explosion doesn't affect us." Wolf says, getting a nod from the other two. "Why is he mad at Neko anyways, Raven?" Raven blanches, avoiding eye contact. He thinks it may have to do with the extra thing he did, but he still doesn't know who Neko is.
"Because of this! There are many more around the entire building." Kakashi snaps, pulling out a drawing of him kissing the green spandexed taijutsu master, Gai.
"Wait! You're blaming Neko for something that they may or may not have done? How rude. What if it was one of the other Troublesome Three?" Fox yells out indignantly, throwing his bomb down at the same time Raven and Wolf do, Wolf's 'accidentally' hitting Raven in the face.
Green hair rustling in the wind, they all disappear after hearing Fox's order of, "Scatter!"
"Argh! Fox! Wolf! Raven is captured!" Raven yells out, squirming against the rope. Wolf reappears, grabbing Raven and poofing away again, escaping easily.
An hour later, Naruto, Sasuke, and Akari are in what they call Safe Haven, also known as Akari's headquarters (HQ). They each have their own HQ. Naruto's is Ichiraku's, or Kami's, Sasuke's is the Uchiha Clan's compound, or Ghost Town, and Akari's is her self-built secret base, or Safe Haven.
"Give me away?! Are you kidding me, Sasuke! He'd kill me! He's not aware how fragile kids' bodies are, and will break me!" Akari yells at a smirking Sasuke. So that's who Neko is. He should've known, she's the one with cat ears, and a tail. She's resting against Naruto, who is leaning against the wall. Sasuke is standing doing Kata in the middle of the floor.
"He already would've known if he was more aware of our personalities when we're freaking out. And I figured out how strong he is when he bruised my wrist just by grabbing me. Does he know, or does he just not care?" Sasuke asks.
"Stop avoiding the topic, Asshat." Naruto calls, grinning at the glare he receives in response. Akari sighs, shrugging and getting up. Stretching, she abruptly attacks Sasuke. Fist sailing past his face, she twirls and ducks, kicking his feet out from underneath him. Jumping back into a handstand, and hopping back to his feet, Sasuke rolls his eyes.
"I didn't even know you were Neko!" He mutters, "Hn, Is that all you can do?" He immediately regrets his decision to taunt her when Akari taps her left shoulder to release the 500 kg weight on her. Tapping his right thigh to release the 48 kg weight on him, he barely is able to dodge Akari's fist as she gets extremely fast. Pulling a kunai from his hand storage seals that Akari gave both him and Naruto, he swipes the shuriken thrown at him away from him, ignoring the yelp Naruto gives off as it hits the wall next to his head.
Akari slams her foot into the back of Sasuke's head. He goes flying into her shadow clone's fist, the clone poofing away from the strength of the punch, and he goes flying back, hitting the wall. If Akari didn't put protection seals on the walls, that would've left a crater big enough to collapse the underground base, Sasuke realizes.
Before he can even breath, a kunai is at his throat, courtesy of Akari. Sasuke immediately surrenders, not wanting to undergo one of Akari's torture sessions. Akari pouts at this underneath her fabric mask, black cat ears flattening against her head. Her tail swishes as she backs off, deciding to sleep on one of the three beds put down in Safe Haven. They both put the weight back on themselves. A few seconds later, they all freeze, realizing the same thing. Kakashi knows where they live, and isn't above pranking them back.
Kakashi looks up from his spot on the couch as the three academy students topple into the room in a dog pile to get in first. All three looking around wildly, they don't seem to notice him as they collapse against each other.
"Nothing. Good." Akari exclaims.
"Maa, I'm hurt. Do you really think of me as nothing?" Kakashi eye smiles as he makes himself known, opening his eye in time to see all three trouble makers blanch.
A/N: I hope this isn't too bad, and hope you all enjoy reading this. Thank you for reviewing, DarkDust27! ^_^
Names for Akari:
Iruka's- Uzumiha
Kakashi's-Neko-chan
Hokage's- Neko-san
Sasuke's- Nee-san
Naruto's- Nee-chan
Shikamaru's- Fuwa
Ino's- Otenba
Chouji- Fuwa
Translations:
Shunshin- Body Flicker
Ojii-gramps/grandpa
Teme-bastard
Baka-idiot/stupid
Dobe-deadlast
Ninjutsu- Like in the airbender, except more magical and with less(ish) limits
Taijutsu- hand-to-hand combat
Genjutsu- illusionary techniques, controlled hallucinations forced upon a different person, technically
Sharingan- A special ability those from the Uchiha clan, and-or implanted with, have that allow the user to see through nin, tai, and genjutsu, and gives perfect memory when activated. Look it up, if you want more.
Mangekyou Sharingan- OP level of Sharingan that can be activated by seeing someone you love dearly die in front of you
Fuinjutsu- written-out ninjutsu, except absolutely no limits, as long as you know how to make what you want. From storage to weight, dimensional travel to time travel, you name it you can do it.
Kenjutsu- sword fighting
Konohagakure no Sato- Village Hidden in the Leaves, Konoha
Genin- Low-level ninja
Chunin- mid-level ninja
Jonin- high-level ninja
Anbu- like the FBI/CIA/Black ops, combined
Hokage- Military leader of Konoha, the president of the village, basically.
Hitai-ate- forehead protector
Kawarimi- Substitution jutsu, you switch yourself with something else, easy enough to understand.
Henge- Transformation Jutsu, you can change your appearance to absolutely anything you can imagine, literally.
Kunai- ninja-knife-thing
Shuriken- ninja-star
Nawanuke- Rope escape jutsu