Spock closed his eyes and inhaled deeply; everything Vulcan in him was screaming to stop the conversation before it began, that it was inappropriate to discuss something so personal with another Vulcan, never mind an outsider. On the other hand he was half human, and to feel as he did was normal according to the psychology journals he often read, and so he should embrace both halves at once which was easier declared than accomplished but-

'Spock?'

'Yes Captain?' He opened his eyes once more and realized he hadn't taken a single step further than the place he'd stood when he'd burst in on the final moments of his lover's meeting with their captain.

'Why don't you come on over here, have a drink and sit down?'

'I do not feel the biological need for a libation at this time.'

'Well I feel an emotional one for several.'

Kirk went to the panel in the wall, keyed in the code to reveal a well stocked wet bar with delicacies he and McCoy had enjoyed accumulating. Landing on an earthly classic, he grabbed the slender bottle and two heavy glasses; Kirk returned to see Spock staring at the neatly fold hands in his lap and got a little jolt as he realized how alike in body language the two awkward lovers were.

'Here. In the old west frontier days of Earth, cowboys often preferred whiskey.' Kirk nudged the glass in front of his friend, poured half a shot of amber liquor in, while Spock's frown deepened.

'Was there a beverage specific to female bovines?'

'No, it- never mind. What's got you in a funk?'

'Assuming that is an human colloquialism for why my current emotional state can be best described as unbalanced, you should know, Captain, that I feel very conflicted in divulging anything personal to someone not of Vulcan.'

'Yeah, I've met you before, I know you're not really into sharing.'

'That being said, I also know I have a human half that has learned through observing and participating in many of our crew's shipboard activities that male emotional bonds are often formed by the consumption of toxins while performing some type of public hall leisure task such as card games or miniature missiles. I believe…correction,' Spock amended, 'I know that I would feel much more at ease in our discussion if we were to perform such activities at this time.'

'Wow, you said I feel. It must be serious,' Kirk decided, downing his whiskey in a single gulp and giving his first officer a hearty cuff on the shoulder. 'Drink up, I have an idea.'

'I shall defer to your good expertise in such matters.' Spock took a slow sip of his whiskey, shook his head apologetically. 'If I am to ingest such poisons, I would much prefer the red-flowing wines made in the southern quadrant of New Vulcan.'

'Well, if you're not gonna finish that…' Kirk nipped the glass from Spock's hand, swallowed what remained. 'We'll head to my ready room, I have a little treat I've been waiting to try out.'

Despite knowing his friend was in a state of upheaval, Kirk was all but salivating to take his new toy for a spin. Safely in the confines of his spacious ready room he waved Spock to one side and pressed the new button on his wall panel. Instantly beams of light shot from the ceiling forming a rectangular table covered with green felt; there were several holes placed along the sides and in the corners, and in the middle were several brightly coloured spheres formed into a triangle beside which lay two long slender wooden poles that were tapered at one end.

Spock looked to his captain, whose face was, to borrow one of Bones' colourful phrases, lit up like a birthday cake. 'Jim? What is this holo-program meant to simulate?'

'One of those manly bonding activities you talked about. It's called a pool table, or a billiard table. Chekov whipped this up for a birthday gift but he's needed a few weeks to work out the kinks.'

'What are the parameters and end goal?'

'There are a few different games that can be played, but we'll stick to the basics.' Kirk gave him a brief overview of playing eight-ball, let his friend perform the break to get the feel for the way shots were made; impressively yet unsurprisingly Spock managed to sink two stripes and a solid with the first shot. Pool was if nothing a game of calculation and physics, not to mention a great way for Kirk to get his pal to loosen the rusty hinges of his tongue.

'So, what is going on that you wanted to talk in private about?' he inquired, lining up his shot.

'Pon farr.'

Kirk's hand jerked so hard he lost his balance and felt the solid thud of his chest against the simulated green felt. Carefully planting his palm on the table-top, Kirk righted himself and turned to see Spock looking as uneasy as Kirk had ever seen him - which was to say never, giving him his second shock inside thirty seconds. 'Spock, I, ah, thought that something Vulcans don't even talk about with other Vulcans, let alone someone as lowly as a Terran best friend and superior officer.'

'In truth, it is something that is rarely discussed with outsiders, however I feel that given that the upcoming traditions to be honoured, and the expectations placed therein will coincide with the biological Vulcan cycle, it is logical to seek out counsel of a trusted companion.' Spock paused only a moment. 'Despite the evidence that your discretion with women may be dubious at times, I feel you are the only person capable of counselling me to my level of satisfaction.'

'I'm discreet,' Kirk muttered as he reset himself for his shot and neatly clipped the green six ball into the far corner pocket, then shook his head when he narrowly missed the blue two. 'Wait, what do you mean upcoming traditions to be honoured? There's nothing on the United Federation calendar I saw.'

'Five days from now, when my Pon Farr will be in its second day of cycle, Nyota and I will mark six years of our romantic relationship. However given that my ability to function at optimum level will be compromised, I believe I require assistance in creating a plausible fiction so that she will not be further angered by my absence.'

'Seriously? Your blood's gonna boil like one of Keenser's bean pots, you're gonna be overrun by primal urges and you're thinking the best solution is to avoid your girlfriend for your anniversary instead of using it to your advantage?'

'What makes you so certain that she would be inclined to occupy her off-shift hours in an intimate environment with me in such a state?'

'Spock,' Kirk chuckled, swearing lightly when his friend lined up the shot and sunk a three-point bouncer into a side pocket. 'May I be perfectly honest?'

'Captain, nothing in this galaxy with human involvement can be called perfect.'

'Spock, Nyota isn't emotionally distant, she's frustrated and horny.'

'As I am very intimately acquainted with Lieutenant Uhura's anatomy, I can assure you there are no horns anywhere on her person.'

'It's an old Earth expression.' Kirk strived for patience, forcing himself to remember that while he'd grown up with interspecies parents, Amanda Grayson had adapted herself quite well into Vulcan traditions and it was often stated the only way to tell she was a foreigner was by her rounded ears. 'It means that she is feeling strong sexual desires and has nowhere to release them.'

'But we consummate our intellectual and emotional bonds with physical intimacy at a median rate of six point oh four times a week.' Spock's brow furrowed. 'She has complimented me on numerous occasions my performance as a mating partner.'

'Spock, sex with your girlfriend shouldn't be part of a routine checklist. Women don't like being taken for granted that way and the lieutenant is a classy lady so the last thing she's gonna do is insult you by bringing it up,' Kirk told him, bracing his weight on his cue and using the same line Uhura had used to describe the situation. He swallowed deeply when Spock turned that cold dark glare in his direction.

'Are you insinuating that my mate is dissatisfied with my abilities to please her and that she is being dishonest in her flattery as a means of protecting my human sense of pride?'

'No,' Kirk replied instantly, almost yelping the word; he took a short breath, then repeated, 'No, that's not what I'm saying-'

'Because I can assure you, Captain, that when we engage intimately a side effect is a meld wherein we share every experience of the other. In truth there is nothing artificial her response or reaction to my ministrations.'

'Let's go back to the six point oh four times a week. When was the last time you two…mated?'

'Approximately twenty three days ago. First there was the matter of her earth-cycle. then once we returned from the away mission, we were each placed in quarantine for nine days. At the first opportunity we had to enjoy each other's company in private, I began to feel the initial phase of the Pon Farr encroaching and I felt it best not to involve her.'

'First mistake, Spock. Earth girls like it when you share what's bothering you so they can try and help, so that you feel less isolated.'

'The Pon Farr is different, it can be…violent and ugly.' Spock shook his head. 'What if…what if I were to harm her? What if my imbalance is so overpowering that she becomes frightened of what lives in me? To lose her as a life partner would be insufferable.'

Kirk did the math quickly, put the pieces together along with what Uhura had shared with him. 'What if you stop viewing this as a drawback and see it as an opportunity to be put to good use, bedroom wise?'

'I do not understand, the Pon Farr has no use to anyone outside of the Vulcan race.' Spock frowned, sank another shot. 'Equally, I often find my human half questioning what can be done to ensure the continued excellent quality of our relations.'

'I didn't think Vulcans even liked sex,' Kirk admitted, grinding his teeth as he watched Spock tuck away his final striped ball and he was three behind.

'On the contrary, Captain, Vulcans believe it is logical to cultivate a strong physical bond with a mate as well as an intellectual one, so that the desired effects of reproduction for the continuation of our civilization can be achieved. It is yet another misconception many have about Pon Farr and why it is not discussed with outsiders.'

'Still, you are in love with a human woman, and they can be as tricky as any species.'

'Your assessment, though alarmingly general, is quite accurate,' Spock concurred, sinking the eight ball. 'I have completed my end goal of all the striped balls plus the solid black ball, which according to your rudimentary explanation of the game means I am the victor, correct?'

'Correct.' Kirk put his cue on the table, as did Spock, then pushed the button to vanish the hologram and went to his private wet bar to pour them each a short glass of Hyperion bourbon. 'Do yourself a favour, Spock and drink the drink this time.'

'Very well.' Spock sat in one of the bar stools, folded his slender hands. 'Your proposition is to put to use my Pon Farr as a means to strengthen my bond with Nyota. My curiosity is piqued as to how you will do that.'

'First you need to tell her what's going on, and then you need to use that lust and aggression to seduce her.'

'I hardly think she will find the potential for violence arousing.'

'Do you ever eat her…I mean do you ever perform oral sex on her? Or touch her…in…intimate places to…pleasure her, or vice versa?' When Spock's pale skin began to turn a pearly green Kirk pursed his lips, went to his computer console to call up a file. 'To borrow one of your phrases, fascinating.'

'I understand you are attempting to assist me in this matter, however we are venturing into an area of discussion I am not comfortable discussing so openly.' Spock frowned impatiently. 'She has instructed me on a variety of things to do that she finds pleasing and I have become accustomed to enjoying them as well, but truthfully it is difficult for me to be spontaneous at present when my energies are concentrated on keeping Pon Farr symptoms under control.'

'Then you have some homework to do in your off hours, Spock.'

Spock's tablet in its protective case beeped; he looked at the incoming file from his captain and lifted a sleekly angle eyebrow. 'The Kohmas Oo-trah?'

'Kama Sutra,' Kirk corrected him. 'It's an old love manual from Earth's history, very popular for spicing thing up in the bedroom.'

'Bedchambers are for sleeping, Captain, and the…private…activities…of…' Spock trailed off as he opened the file, saw the illustrations of contorted bodies and swore in Vulcan before unceremoniously gulping down the drink Kirk had fixed for him. 'Humans are encouraged to perform such activities with one another?'

Kirk chuckled knowingly, nodded in understanding. 'Trust me Spock, you do something romantic for your girlfriend before Pon Farr makes you lose your marbles, then put this-' he tapped the screen lightly with his finger '- into use once those marbles are gone and you will find yourself in a whole new level of physical bonding enjoyment with your girlfriend.'

'Yes, the romantic appointment. What sort of items would be on such an itinerary for a tradition of this magnitude?' Spock looked into the bottom of his glass. 'This pair-bonding with Nyota is entirely new territory for me, as she is the only woman, human or otherwise, with whom I've sustained any longevity.'

'How did you get her to go on a date with you in the first place?'

'I invited her to join me for a special musical presentation at the Academy by Star Fleet's orchestra. There were no available admittance passes for students and I used my position as a faculty member to secure two such passes.' Spock sniffed, and held out his glass for a refill; he was beginning to enjoy the bittersweet taste of bourbon and would handily neck-pinch anyone who discovered it. 'I still remember the way that during one particularly piece she interlaced her fingers in mine and held them tight. My Vulcan side was powerless to stop the feeling she stirred in me with that touch.'

'Spock, you old softie you,' Kirk chuckled and poured them each one more round. 'That's the part she needs to see, which means you have to tell her about the Pon Farr.'

'I do believe you are correct, Captain.'

'Hey, it does happen every so often.'

'For your discretion, you have my gratitude.' Spock looked over his shoulder towards the space where they had used the holographic pool table. 'Perhaps I might consult the offerings of the holodeck for the romantic interlude I have in mind.'