'I'm sure that's not what he wants to talk about.'

'What else could it be? He's been different the last month. He's hiding something, I can feel it.'

Christine Chapel rolled her eyes as she paged through the gardening journal on her tablet, stuck her tongue out in the direction of the sonic shower where her friend was trying to unwind post-meeting with very little success. 'Vulcans can't lie, even I know that, dumb as I am.'

'Chris, you're not dumb.'

'Really? Then what do you call having a nervous breakdown from PTSD and stealing a shuttle while on shore leave in San Francisco?'

'A tough time that brought you back to us on the Enterprise.'

'Because of a court martial sentence.'

'That was for medical reasons, not criminal and they ran out six months ago and you're still with us,' Uhura reminded her, which had Christine relenting.

'Fine, fine, let's go back to your Spock-tacular dilemma, Nina.'

Uhura felt a warm flutter of friendship at Christine's nickname for her, then sighed deeply as she stepped out of her sonic shower; Spock had taken to enjoying the real kind with water with her and sometimes a girl didn't wanna get wet. Dirty, she thought, chuckling at herself, leaving the privacy of the bathroom and heading into her bedroom while still wrapped in a robe. 'I love him so much, Christine, that sometimes when I try to imagine him not in my life, I want to cry. For god sakes, I have cried when we've been in bed together because what I feel for him and from him is so overpowering, I can't help myself.'

Christine watched her friend head straight for her bureau where Uhura kept a neatly ordered drawer of various beauty treatments and found her favourite - moisturizer infused with Tyrollean sea-weed crystals. 'So if things are still that hot with you, why are you thinking he wants out?'

'I don't know, I just…I can't explain it, I just know something is wrong and he won't share!' She unscrewed the jar with more force than necessary, partially wishing it was her idiot boyfriend's neck and set the lid on the bureau top as she sighed deeply again, this time not in satisfaction of her hygiene rituals but to try and school herself into a more patient mode of thinking. Spock loved her, that she knew, so what in blue Ferengi hell was his problem lately?

Returning to the task at her, making it her focus as best as possible so she wouldn't break down into frustrated tears in front of Christine, herself still recovering from the traumas of the frontier war she'd left behind, then shrieked when she heard the voice behind her.

'Perhaps I might assist you as the first phase of an apology?'

Uhura whipped around and was suddenly very aware of the feel of the silken robe clinging against her skin as she saw Spock standing in the doorway of her bedroom, his face uncharacteristically full of discomfort and, yes, just a hint of shame. She instinctively crossed her arms over her breasts, saw Christine quietly slip out the door and mouthed tell me later before she left. Alone with her infuriating man, Uhura cleared her throat before speaking so she wouldn't stutter. 'What are you doing in here? I thought…I thought I was going to come to your quarters tonight.'

'I was unable to wait that long,' he replied honestly. 'I wanted to see you straight away after my conversation with the captain.'

'Needed a little bro-time to bitch about the little woman?'

'You are not petite, you are approximately one point seven four metres high, Lieutenant.'

Uhura laughed, glad she was able to break the tension with it; she dropped her arms and moved to the closet where she found a loose and flowing tunic the colour of a Beranti sunset that was neither pink nor orange and yet both all at once. She stripped off the robe, tugged the tunic over her head while keeping her back turned to him just a second longer than normal. 'I mean, you needed to speak with him privately to sort out how you are feeling…about us.'

'Nyota, there is something I must share with you. I'm afraid I cannot wait any longer to say this.' Spock held out his hand to her, swallowed tightly when he saw her eyes go wide. 'Is something troubling you?'

'I just…I had a feeling this was coming, given the way you have been acting lately.'

'How could you know about this?' Spock inquired, but his lover did not appear to register his words and for a moment he thought he saw her eyes glisten with tears.

'So what do you propose we do, just neatly shut things off and go on performing our duties admirably?' You will not cry, not when he is being so cold about this, Uhura scolded herself, then felt her eyes dry as she saw that same shamed and uncomfortable look on his face and her misery turned to concern for him. 'Isn't that how you handle emotional upheaval? By throwing yourself into your work?'

'Lieutenant it would hardly be possible to do that given how incapacitated I am about to become.'

That one threw her for a loop. 'Wait, what? What are you talking about?'

'I'm attempting to gather my courage and explain to you that I am about to go through the…the…'

'Oh my god. Oh my god,' she said again as she clapped a hand to her eyes that had scrunched shut. She should have known, or at least suspected it was this but it never once crossed her mind. 'I thought…god, I'm such a fool, I thought you wanted to end our relationship.'

'To what purpose? We find enjoyment in each other's company both socially and intimately. I find your physical presence very pleasing as you do mine.' Spock paused, took a step closer. 'And I hope you continue to do so once you have seen what I am capable of. I had initially thought to confine myself to my quarters so you would not be subjected to what are some very powerful forces for a Vulcan.'

'Why didn't you say anything sooner? No, forget it, I understand why.' Uhura waved off her own words, forged on ahead in exasperated confusion. ' But…Spock, I mean we've been together for nearly six years, I don't know why you thought you had to avoid me and not tell me.'

'I didn't wish you to alarm you if I suddenly became temperamental or aggressive, particularly when we bond.'

'Spock.' Now Uhura crossed to him and pressed her hands to his cheeks. 'I love you, I know you and I know you would never intentionally hurt me, physically or otherwise.'

'Nyota.' Spock took her wrists, moved her hands to press a kiss to each of her palms. The emotional surge it gave him through his body made him tighten his grip. 'It is because I love you that I am attempting to protect you. You've never seen me like this, it isn't something I am confident you will enjoy seeing.'

'So you were talking with Kirk to what, come up with a reasonable excuse for avoiding me?' When he didn't answer, Uhura shook her head. 'Spock, haven't you learned anything in the last six years?'

'Many things, but apparently the ability to make myself understood to you isn't one of them.'

Now Uhura stretched to her tip-toes and gently kissed his mouth. 'Spock, it's okay to not be an expert on every single thing. Most men spend their lives trying to understand how women work and fail.'

'Failure is not something I'm comfortable with in such intimate matters.' The conversation with Kirk came rushing back to Spock at warp-speed. 'Nyota, have you always been honest with me, that…what I make you feel when we are together is in fact what you feel?'

'Of course, Spock, I would never lie to you about something that important.'

'Do you still enjoy it?' When she hesitated, Spock closed his eyes and huffed out a breathe through his nostrils. 'Nyota, a lie by omission is still a lie.'

'I do enjoy it, it's just that…things have gotten a little repetitive lately and maybe…' Uhura turned away, trying to figure out how to phrase it without sounding clumsy or awkward; the last thing she wanted to do was embarrass Spock even more than she suspected she already had. 'I don't know, maybe we could try using your Pon Farr to spice things up?'

'Spice things up?'

'It's an old earth expression, it means that we try some things to make our intimate relationship more exciting.'

'I believe I may have such a device.'

'A… a device?'

Spock couldn't help himself - he watched her expression changed so rapidly from sympathy to guilt to wary surprise that it made him laugh. 'If you would permit me to exchange my attire from uniform to sleeping garments, I believe that I will find that a more suitable way to discuss this with you.'

Before Uhura could say a word, Spock peeled his shirt over his head, toed off his boots. She licked her lips, surpassed the grin as she watched him shove off his snug-fitting uniform pants so he was left in his form-fitting black undershorts; it left nothing to imagination just how impressive his anatomy was. She softened when she saw the thin silver chain around his neck with the silver and blue pendent attached. He carefully folded his clothes and laid them in the drawer of her bureau she'd given him to store things in, then picked up his tablet and sat on his side of her bed, patting the space beside him in invitation.

'Would you like to join me, Lieutenant?'

'Always.'

Uhura slipped in beside him, saw his pale complexion deepen to emerald in what she knew to be a Vulcan blush when he called up the file to show her. She gasped lightly, pressing her fingers to her lips. 'Oh my what is that?'

'According to the captain this is called the Kama Sutra and it is meant to be a manual to aid couples to spice things up, as you said it. He thought…he thought we might use this when I go through the Pon Farr so that we might…'

Uhura felt her jaw drop open not in shocked anger but in amusement; she pointed a fine-boned finger at the screen where various images continued to flash by as Spock paged through the file. 'Kirk gave you this so that we can put all that energy from your Pon Farr to use and try something new in our sex life?'

'Affirmative.'

'Truthfully, Spock, I'd settle for getting to use the bed again and not feeling you block yourself off anymore.' Uhura tilted her head as she carefully examined an illustration of something called 'congress of the crow'. 'Although, that one looks like great fun.'

'Perhaps this evening we might experiment with some suggestions from the book, so that I can prepare for the upcoming days?'

Uhura tugged her sleeping tunic over her head, tossed it so it fluttered to the floor. 'That's the smartest thing you've said all day.'