By the time Kieran got back to the Dungeons, most people had already started going to bed. On the trek back, Kieran spoke to Hagrid about magical creatures, and what he thought would be the best way to resolve what had happened. He helped Kieran sort out some rogue emotions, and told her to make sure Summers didn't end up holding a grudge, in return He would personally talk with Ivanov- but he was sure the Headmistress already knew, and was planning to do something about it.
Hagrid also offered his time to her "-Come an' visit me anytime." he beamed "My creatures need loads of care, an' i could always use help filling their troughs, or picking up after them." Kieran accepted the offer gratefully, she looked forward to spending less time around people, and more with what she was accustomed to - and how could she refuse the chance to discover new creatures, that she had only had a chance to read about? The giant gave her one last fuzzy smile, then took off into the dark dungeon, back the way they had come.
Kieran hissed the password, and entered the Common Room as quietly as she could. "Nathair." waiting in the shadows for her was none other than Damien, a shrewd expression plastered on the conventionally attractive boy's face "A bit late to be getting back just now, don't you think?" asked the Prefect, cold as ice.
"I have a pass." she showed limply. Kieran felt no need to explain herself- for one, it was too embarrassing, and for another, his attitude needed no reward.
"Hm - Very well. Off to bed then." The spell he had cast over her had dissipated, at what point she couldn't tell, but now, only annoyed by the authority figure he was acting, Kieran obeyed and left to the girls dorms.
Emelia was sitting up, awake in her bed, with her books laid around her, studying. Kieran paused, she didn't know how to confront her, not yet. She would just go to her bed, and sleep - then deal with it in the morning. Tiptoeing to her bed, Kieran didn't bother slipping into her night clothes. Flinging the blankets over her head, she closed her eyes and sighed into her pillow.
"You didn't come to dinner." came Emelia's monotone observation. Kieran did nothing as she thought about how to respond. "You scared people." Emelia added casually, her quill scratching away neatly at her parchment. "Even though you took it too far, Roary was impressed - He went looking for you after you didn't show up right away."
Kieran sat up straight then, her hair wild from the static of the comforter( more than normal). Looking for any sort of reaction, she asked "He did?" Emelia nodded. Kieran thought for a moment, her eyes falling to her hands as they fidgeted with the sheets. "-I know, i took it too far.." began Kieran "I didn't know i was capable of even casting that spell. I just acted - i didn't think. I read about it, but i didn't know it would really.. Either i think too much, or not at all. I can't do anything right." Kieran could feel her face become hot and her eyes begin to sting. She was mad enough with herself that the prospect of anyone else became too much. It was exhausting dealing with the emotions.
Setting her quill down, Emelia looked at Kieran with an unreadable expression (less than what she normally gave). "Professor Ivanov put two experienced, over-competitive people in a duel, then took away the rules - He wanted something to happen." stated Emelia bluntly, her eyes peering harshly over the thought of it "-If you hadn't fought back, you would have been the one sent to the Hospital Wing. You acted on instinct and adrenaline. I don't blame you."
Baffled, Kieran could only stare. Emelia was harder to understand than herself, it seemed.
"-You should visit Summers in the morning, i'll go with you- I don't want to, but i will. It's late now, i'm going to bed." and without another word, Emelia gathered her books, set them aside, and went to bed.
That night Kieran dreamt of dueling Summers in the Great Hall; her classmates shouted at her with rage - Only Roary cheered her on "You can do it! Kill her!" his voice robust. Summers was unable to fight back, petrified on the ground- but Kieran kept blasting her with spell after spell, laughing madly as green bolts left her wand. A voice slithered past her ear, whispering encouraging things, it's laugh mirroring hers. As the darkness came crashing in around them, the hall in ruins, Summers stood - in her place was Harry Potter, battle-worn, but determined. His wand gave a flash, and as the crowd chanted his name, Kieran was consumed by darkness, falling forever into the pit of her own failure.
The first thing Kieran did that morning was search Summers out, with the help of Emelia; According to Pomfrey, Summers had spent the night in the infirmary, but she was well enough to be released that morning, and was most likely at the Great hall. Sure enough, Summers was at the Gryffindor table, her arm in a sling and an annoyed look on her face as she struggled to cut her meat. "I broke her arm." started Kieran, shocked.
"Pomfrey said she was 'well enough' - i'm sure she's fine." defended Emelia, though her stale tone gave nothing to actually ease Kieran's anxiety.
"She doesn't look 'fine'." snapped Kieran, and without another word, using her frustrations as courage, Kieran zipped into the Great Hall towards the Gryffindor girl. "Summers, i am so soo sorry." the words left the Slytherin girl in a frantic sputter, as genuine as was anxious - her face going pale as the rest of the Gryffindors turned to glower at her.
"You best be-" barked one boy.
Kieran felt her dignity slipping - at this point she was willing to beg.
'Really Pathetic' her thoughts mocked. 'She doesn't need an apology - Emelia understands.'
Summers turned in her seat, scowling at the Slytherin. The girl was much more hulking up close - her posture more atrocious, her face full of acne. Kieran felt jittery as she waited to hear what the Gryffindor had to say, fighting with herself whether and apology was worth it. "You should be.." came Summers deep voice, her blotchy face swelling with anger by the second "-Y'know i can't take flying lessons now, because of you, right?!" she barked, standing then. Kierans pride wouldn't let her step back, but managing to suppress her own scowl, looked sympathetic - which she was, mostly.
"I know, I am so sorry - I didn't know i had hurt you that badly-"
"'That badly'?" scoffed Summers "Ye nearly torn my bloody arm off!" she roared, a sudden thought came into her head then "How ye gonna make it up to me, aye?"
Kieran stifled a scoff. She was making it up, currently humiliating herself - just to make sure the girl was alright. There was only so much she could submit herself to.
"Well?" glared Summers.
"What would you like?" Began Kieran, her own temper being barely suppressed by the massive audience, and her dignity.
"Do my assignments fer the rest of the month." the Gryffindor snarled in a type of grin. Kieran looked at the girl as if her hair had just caught fire. And was reaching her limit. Fist shaking, Kieran breathed deeply through her nose. 'Just breath, apologize, and don't make things worse' she reminded herself. By that point most of the Great Hall had been looking their way, including the Staff table, and Hagrid was heading their way.
"No." said Kieran flat out. "That's ridiculous." she said coolly, looking to the others around her for some support. Emelia stood there like a motionless shadow. No help at all, other than to remind her who exactly it was she was really apologizing too.
"No?" Summers asked.
"I said i was sorry, and i meant it.-" said Kieran, reaching a real dilemma
"Sorry isn't good enough, my arm-"
"Can be fixed." Stated Kieran "I don;t need to prove it by being your slave." she justified.
"What's goin' on 'ere?" Hagrid huffed, his massive form towering over the girls. Summers looked distraught, while Kieran nodded.
"Nothin, just letting Summers know how sorry i am - I think i'll get you some sweet's to make up for it." said Kieran, using the adult's presence to manipulate the girl's reaction. "Does that work?" Kieran asked. Summers nodded robustly "Fine." she agreed through her teeth, her face redder than ever.
"Oh, that's nice of ye - Thought you two were bout te get into it." laughed Hagrid uncomfortably "Alright, back to our own tables now- got class comin' up real soon." he ushered the Slytherin girls off, and gave Kieran a disapproving look "That's not gonna help ye' get rid of her grudge." he reprimanded. Kieran looked disappointed in herself "I'd rather be hated than walked over." she defended.
"Best find a way to settle things withou' bloodshed." said Hagrid, and with one last reproachful look for Kieran, he headed back to the staff table, leaving Kieran to the agonizingly mute expression of Emelia.
"That didn't go quite like i pictured it would." Kieran sighed.
"Really? That's precisely how i envisioned it."
The looks Kieran received as she walked the length of the Slytherin table was a mix of uncomfortable glances, and glares as they talked amongst themselves. "You should've seen the look on her face - mad, that one." - "She really must have hexed someone then." - "I say she's got bad blood."
"First you seriously maim the Gryffindor troll, then you go and yell at her?" Jackie was more smug than ever "Perhaps you aren't so bad after all." the blonde commented sardonically.
"Bugger off, Jackie." came Roary, moving aside to offer Kieran the spot he had saved. "How's Summers then?" he asked Kieran. From across the Hall, they could see Summers, glaring at Kieran. "That bad?" laughed Roary.
"You aren't mad?" Kieran asked, staring into the blue eyes of Roary with astonishment.
"I mean, it was scary - You looked like you might have lost your mind for a quick minute - But it was so cool, and she's alright, isn't she? No harm done - to me, anyways." he commended, shrugging, then went back to his Quidditch magazine with earnest.
Whether people were simply over-looking what Kieran had done, or didn't have the courage to say something to her face, the day went on normally as they attended their first class, History of Magic. Even Jackie went back to her ruthless bickering and bad mouthing of Kieran; joining in on the fun behind her back. Kieran was just thankful the drama had died down, at least for now - But as Kieran had come to expect, something bad was bound to happen, and Flying Lessons were coming up next, shared by none other than the Gryffindors.
Flying lessons were held on the Training Grounds, by Madam Hooch; the school's Quidditch referee and coach. This class was perhaps the thing most of the first years looked forward to the most, and the excitement was infectious as the gathered students made their way out onto the field. Laid out for the students were old brittle looking brooms, many of which looked like they had seen better days. Roary spent the entire walk there bragging about the lessons he got at home, and not that he really needed them - because he was 'already very good to begin with', in his words. He spoke about his passions for Quidditch and directed Kieran away from a particularly gnarled looking broom-
"Nah, not that one - it'll fly all wonky. Choose this one, by me." he beamed, Kieran nodded and smiled brightly in return, happy to be on good terms once more.
There Summers was sitting out of class and watching the kids line up to the brooms. Kieran felt that familiar stir in her gut of guilt, but decided to ignore it and enjoy her time - The truth was, Kieran was glad the Gryffindor was okay, but it was the approval of her friends that she had really put herself out there for.
Madam Hooch was a striking look witch with silver robes, and spiky hair to match, her eyes were a hawk-like yellow, and her voice held a sultry sort of rasp that made a person want to raise their hand, just to hear it. "Settle down." she demanded, calm and dignified. "Welcome to your first flying lesson, you may call me Madam Hooch. This class needs no introduction other than to remember, safety first. If you do not follow my rules your broom privilege will be revoked and you'll have to sit out of the class. After three strikes, you'll receive detention - these brooms could use a good waxing."
"Now, hurry up, find yourself a broom, and stand on the side with the dominant hand overtop it, and say 'Up'."
"Up." the class repeated back.
Kieran flinched as her broom flung up into her hand with an audible 'smack'.
"With force now." barked Madam Hooch.
Emelia's broom floated up to her with the same sort of stale grace she spoke with, while Roary's broom came up with a rehearsed sort of ease. Others of the class shouted 'Up!' repeatedly, watching in agony as their brooms lolled about on the ground, as if they were having a fit. Jackie in particular looked red as a beet as her broom rolled around, hitting her in the back of the shins, bristles first. Kieran snickered, receiving a glare that could have turned her to stone.
It was the same dream Kieran had had for as long as she could remember, flying through the night, free; her long jet-black hair bellowing out behind her as she twirled through the sky like a raven. Her mother shared stories about witches on their brooms, and told Kieran about her Grandfather who took her on night flights, so close to the stars she could almost touch them. But no matter how many images Kieran saw of Witches on brooms, through her muggle fairy tale books, or real images she was given by her aunt. Kieran imagined flight all on her own, with black robes flying out behind her like dark wings, propelling her forward.
The ambitious girl had even tried flight many times through her life, she started by jumping off their dinky little sofa into a pile of cushions, then off the mossy cabin roof, into the ferns below; The rambunctious girl had even felt reckless enough one morning to chase a bowtruckle up a redwood, and jumped down after it- in that moment she swore she could feel herself glide, but like usual she ended up face first in the brush, her hands and knees bleeding, covered in soil.
Eventually the whole class had managed to get their brooms up and Madam Hooch began to show them how to mount it properly. Hooch rewarded Roary with a whole one point as he displayed he 'amazing' mounting skills, and with that the instructor raised her hands "-Alright, when i blow my whistle i want you to kick up from the ground, hover there for a moment, then touch back down - Alright, ready? Three - two - one -" with the blow of her whistle the students kicked up off the ground and hovered there for a wobbly moment.
"Right, very good - Now, touch back down, slowly - Yes, that's it."
In those first few moments of flight, Kieran felt her heart soar, her hands clenched the broom tightly as she envisioned flying through the air, but the thought didn't feel so simple - it felt like a memory, as if at one point she had truly flown through the sky. She could feel the way she felt then, exhilarated, and smug - she knew she could do it, and felt silly for ever doubting herself. But the memory felt off, she felt hollow - not right.
"Kieran?" Roary snapped his fingers bringing the girl back to her senses.
"Yeah, hm?"
"We've been paired off, to spot each other while we take turns flying up a couple feet."
"Okay, sure… you go first." she hesitated.
With ease Roary floated in the air, raising higher and higher, then touching back down, his expression smug. Kieran shuddered about how much he resembled his sister, just then. "Easy peezy." He beamed, gesturing for Kieran to try. Mounting the broom, Kieran positioned herself lower down the handle, so as not to slip off the front. pushing herself up, she wobbled a foot off the ground before slowly willing herself upward. Her heart raced, her hands became sweaty, and slowly her bum began to lift off the broom. Panicking, she wrapped her legs around the bristles- the momentum forcing her to slide forward, and with a yelp she fell to the ground hard.
"You alright!?" Roary, Madam Hooch and a few other Slytherins gathered around her.
"Yeah, i just lost control of the broom - I think." Kieran stared at the broom that was now laying in half behind her.
"You're alright." said Madam Hooch, helping Roary pick her up. "Just go to the closet and get yourself another broom."
Heart still racing, Kieran followed Roary to the equipment room and sorted through the extra old brooms. "What was that?" asked Roary.
"A spider, i think."
"No, not that - Back there, with the broom? I saw you start lifting from it, all on your own."
Picking through the debris, Kieran found a decent enough looking broom and shrugged. "i'm not sure - Isn't it possible for Witches to fly without brooms? Sorta like.. using magic without a wand?"
"It's extremely difficult." Roary nodded, his eyes full of envy and suspicion. "Is that what you were doing, then?
"I don't know, maybe." she shrugged, adjusting a loose bristle "It felt like i wasn't flying using the broom, i was just sorta..holding it."
"That's incredible. We should try to see what you can do without a broom - but later. Only i can show off right now." he teased, winking.
The rest of class went off without a hitch, and like Kieran, the time flew. Lunch break was a welcomed opportunity, and all Kieran needed to do was avoid Summers as they made their way to the Great Hall. But, as Kieran prophesied, the Gryffindor girl came at her, bulldozing through the crowd like a bull - the red target being Kieran. "Nice fall, Nathair. Looks like you're great at breaking things."she jested, using her arm to emphasize what she meant.
"Really?" Kieran groaned. "Look, i said i was sorry, can we just move past this."
"Yeah, well my arms still messed up, in'it? Hard to move past it when i'm still livin' with it." growled Summers.
To Kieran's surprise, Emelia gave an irritable sigh and stood up to girl, her head barely reaching the girls collarbone. "You've been given an apology, over something that was an accident. You should really focus your energies on something more valuable, like your studies, perhaps?"
"Accident?" scoffed Summers "It was deliberate - Even your evil house mates can agree with that!"
Kieran felt her fingers twitch, taking it out on her was one thing, but if she hurt Emelia-
"If there is anyone you should be cross with, it's Professor Ivanov. He put you into that fight - he took away the rules. As far as we could tell, it could have been a duel to the death and that man wouldn't have even blinked." said Emelia, her expression bored.
Summers looked as if she might explode, embarrassed and dumbfounded she stomped her foot "He's the one who brought me to the hospital wing, though, in'it he?" she defended, stepping past Emelia to Kieran, she balled her fat fist "You didn't even care enough to come see if i was alright!" her eyes were misty, and Kieran felt her stomach twist with guilt, her heart ached.
Trent stepped in front of Kieran and pulled her behind him. Compared to the tallest first year girls, Trent towered over them, his expression bored, but his eyes full of disgust. Kieran felt her face turn hot as she was pressed between his back and the wall. He smelled of detergent and sweat, and his hand was clammy in hers. "Didn't care?" Asked Trent "She left the class in tears, then she left the dorms the next morning without even taking a shower. She probably couldn't think clear enough to even do her homework - Not care? Who goes and apologizes despite an entire angry crowd of people, if she does not care?"
It was the most Kieran had ever heard the boy speak, his Irish accent flared, and she could feel his heart boom through his back. Kieran hadn't realized how much he had payed attention. They barely spoke, and yet he knew Kieran - He had watched her struggle, and he had been there when all she could think about was her own selfish desires. Emelia too, stood up for her, despite Kieran being in the wrong. Was this what friends were like?
Summers, baffled, stared, unable to say anything. Kieran glanced over to see Roary, looking at her and Trent with something of betrayal - red-faced and determined he cut in "We're all sorry." said Roary "Let's just move past this and get some lunch, i'm starving!" he laughed, attempting to lighten the mood.
Summers, heaving and misty eyed, grunted and stormed off. Leaving Kieran pinned behind Trent, and an audience of first years. Without a word, Roary grabbed Kieran's wrist and pulled her away. With nothing more to see the first years broke off and headed to their business- things to see, new gossip to spread. The silence was uncomfortable as Emelia followed, Kieran watched as Trent swerved off towards the Greenhouses, his face hidden behind his dark curls. Roary held firmly to Kieran's wrist as they basically stormed through the castle.
Finally, stopping just in the entrance hall, Roary breathed deeply, his face turned from Kieran. Locking eyes, their faces flush, Roary let go. Emelia watched the two silently. Breaking the awkward silence, Kieran turned to Emelia "Thank you." said Kieran, breathless "You stood up for me, all of you did." her own eyes felt misty as she battled the tears by fanning her face "-Just never had anyone do that for me before." she explained.
"Summers was being a bully, and for what?" commented Emelia, her face slightly flush. Kieran grabbed the girl and embraced her "-Can't breath."
"Sorry." Kieran laughed. Roary cleared his throat and looked expectant "Oh, you too-" Kieran gave Roary a quick pat down of a hug, and the two cleared their throats.
"Right, so food then?"
Lunch went by and by the end of it Trent had returned, his uniform dusted in soil. Kieran looked at Trent, but their eyes never met, no matter how long she stared, persistent. "You like to garden?" asked Kieran, curious, and hoping to see his reaction. The boy had returned to his quiet aloof self, and simply nodded. Kieran pursed her lips and nodded in return "I love to garden myself.." she went on, ignoring Roarys desperate pleas for attention as he bumped into her to reach for the food across the way.
"Herbology is a whole other level though - it's incredible." she went on.
"It is." Trent agreed. Kieran let the conversation die as Roary put his Quidditch book to her face, stealing her attention.
With the end of lunch came Transfiguration, shared by the Hufflepuffs. Kieran had to admit she was just a bit excited to see Trinity, the little blonde Hufflepuff she constantly greeted passing through the halls. Surely, the events with Summers had spread, and Kieran wondered if the shy girl would be mad, too - not that Kieran could blame her.. Apart from that, Transfiguration was an interesting topic, but Kieran couldn't help feel a bit barbaric. If Kieran had realized the pets were required simply to be tested on, she would have never admitted her poor little Toad into the class.
"I will not hurt my toad." stated Kieran, disgusted.
The entire class had to be put on hold as she fumed. Professor Yost, and older man with blonde hair, no neck, and little tolerance, rolled his eyes. "-We are not hurting them, miss Nathair. Now please sit."
"No, i refuse. This is just cruel." Kieran stomped her foot.
"Fine, i will not force you to go against your beliefs - but if you do not participate, you will receive a zero, and i will reduct five points." The Professor went back onto his lecture, and Kieran stood with her hands shaking. Emelia moved her cat away slowly at the impending fit.
"That isn't right!" yelled Kieran. The class stared at her. Trinity gazed in awe. The Professor slamed his book down and pointed to the door "Wait out in the hall." He demanded. Kieran stormed out of the classroom, her whole body shaking.
She couldn't believe it. She couldn't stand for it. Animals weren't some object to be used by humans for their own selfish reasons. She couldn't believe no one stood up for her, let alone agreed. She could feel the blood rush to her head as she paced through the hallway, ready to rip the arrogant, selfish, cruel bastard of a Professor a new one.
The Professor closed the door behind himself and approached Kieran with a look of irritation, which she returned ten-fold. "Miss Nathair, you have no need to throw a tantrum in my classroom, is that understood?"
"No need?" Kieran scoffed, utterly bewildered. "Animals aren't some inanimate object without feelings!" she hissed, seething "Who are YOU to decide what they feel or don't?"
The Professor looked done, he could not be swayed. "Go the the Headmaster's office, you'll receive a zero for today, and that'll be ten points from Slytherin."
"What? No-"
"-and do not ever come to my class and disrupt my lessons again." and with one last arrogant, self-righteous glare, the Professor slammed his door and proceeded with the class. Kieran felt her heart swelling and thumping in her chest as if it were about to explode, her vision went red, and grabbing for her wand, she was ready to storm back inside and stab the bastard.
'Do it… The treacherous Mudblood..Hurt him, like he makes those ignorant little brats hurt those poor animals..'
Before Kieran could act, Trinity was staring up at her with big blue eyes. Kieran's thoughts stopped abruptly as the girl looked up at her with her innocent, worried expression. "Kieran?" said Trinity, her voice soft. Kieran looked crazed, her hand shaking dangerously with her wand grasped firmly in it. Trinity held Kieran's hand, calming the tremors. "It's alright." cooed Trinity, smiling softly. Kieran wanted to rip her hand away and shout at the girl, but she couldn't. Kieran took a shuddering breath and stared down at the floor, her cheeks hot with tears.
"Monster.." she muttered.
"I'll walk with you to the Headmistress's office.." Trinity urged Kieran away from the door, and the two girls walked through the Transfiguration courtyard to the Headmaster's quarters. "I'm Sure Mcgonagall will be understanding. She taught Transfiguration before Professor Yost did. I'm sure something can be arranged."
"You don't understand-" snapped Kieran, making the Hufflepuff jump. "In Muggle school i wouldn't even operate on a dead frog, knowing they had killed it specifically for that class. It's horrible! How come no one sees that? How come nobody cares!?" She shouted, fuming again.
Trinity looked uncomfortable and wrang her robes tightly in her white hands "I couldn't be as bold as you.." began Trinity. Kieran stared at her, amazed.
"Sure you can, it's important." Kieran justified.
Trinity merely shook her head "The Professors scare me, and Professor Yost uses his authority to blackmail us with house points, and even failing us. No one wants to stand up to him and be treated the way you have been."
"-It's not right." Kieran scowled "People should stand up for themselves- for what they believe in. He shouldn't have his arse kissed just because he's a Professor."
"I thought you were really cool.." Trinity beamed, blushing fiercely.
"Cool? Everybody probably thinks of me as some hot-headed idiot, who lost us ten house points, and blew up a Gryffindor. I'm already seen as reckless - people will think this is no different, just crazy Nathair being crazy!"
Trinity paused at the bottom of the stairs, next to a large old gargoyle, that stared at them intensely. Uncomfortable under its stare, Trinity stuttered, muttering "I-I really thought you were cool. I'll stand with you - i believe in you." the girls exchanged a meaningful gaze, Trinity squeaked and ran off, waving "Good luck, Kieran!" then after half-tripping rounded the corner to hurry back to class.
Kieran felt restless, and wronged, but the interaction between herself and Trinity had soothed her, and in that moment she declared Trinity would be her friend, for real, no matter what anyone else had to say. With a few deep breaths, Kieran turned and headed up the stairs, wondering then what Mcgonagall's reaction would be, and just hoped the woman was less heartless than her successor.
((Writer's Note: Hope you lovely internet dwellers liked that. I struggled over this chapter quite a bit for some reason. Preteen drama, especially Kieran's, is a handful. That last scene there is dedicated to my best friend, based on Trinity, who has always been there to pull me out of my darkest hours. I really have experienced a teacher like that, who failed me for not wanting to gut a frog. I'm an extreme animal lover and it's hard not to let that slip through in my writing (thank goodness Kieran is basically just me, so it fits.)
Expect things to only get worse from here! yay!