I do not own, in any aspect that entitles dominion (not the Mengsk kind at least) of any variation, Naruto nor Starcraft.
Wish I did though...
Warning: Contains swearing.
They call me a Spectre
Chapter 6: When idling
(Flashback)
Nimbus I
An oceanic world to give it a brief description in its geography, a science world in terms of colonization. Rather than deal with an endless sea, host to numerous water bound denizens and other life that could survive the salted water, scientists, engineers, and numerous companies have collaborated into making an atmosphere variant of an orbital platform. The project in its entirety was experimental, but working for the time being... and unexpectedly plagued by an unexpected problem by the rare few creatures on the planet that lived outside the water: Stocks. Enlarged pelicans with gray feathers that have a ragged look to them even when new, the size of eight year old children when they become adults, and have the same fortitude any other avian has when regarding people.
And just as fun to scare off with a gun if one wasn't feeling particularly bloodthirsty.
Only four squads had been deployed on the platforms and given the task to get rid of these unintentional pests that normally roosted in the rare collection of stone spires that managed to peak out from the ocean's floor, and only half of Omega's squad was typically found outside their current quarters to perform their assigned duty thanks to their armament. It would have been four, but...
"Salt!"
"Salt."
"Cajun Spice!"
"Cajun Spice."
Naruto didn't get out fast enough to join the triplets... let alone manage to get a single boot on. Given that the sergeant's preferred weapon was a flamethrower, he was effectively useless against the stocks that made their nests in areas where a stick had greater reach. As such he delegated himself to his secondary duty, cooking.
"Whiskey!"
"Whiskey."
"Por-..."
There was a distinct disadvantage so this however thanks to an over familiarity of his habits, one he was unfortunately made aware of when it was verbally reengineered with the sole purpose to annoy him.
"Hands up." A rather bored Naruto in civilian clothing, an apron, and a hairnet raised both hands from behind his side of the counter of their current residential habitation block's kitchen, afforded by the distinct lack of anyone else other than confederacy soldiers and those needed to ensure the platform's operational status, and waves them about to emphasis them being fee of any at all implements aimed towards annoying the sergeant. "Pockets!" Heaving a heavy sigh of exasperation, Naruto march out into plain view and emptied his pockets... and a small jig as well.
"Oh don't be a smartass!" Shaking his head, Frankfurt turned to the assorted ingredients before him that awaited to be put on the frying pan that was heating up. "Pork fat!" After a moment's pause, the demanded ingredient supplemented the small menagerie of foods that waited to be cooked.
"Why is it you insist on having pork fat included in everything you cook?" Out of pure instinct did the sergeant's jaw work itself to open only to be viciously halted in favor of a suspicious glared aimed at the bored blond. "You already checked me." Unsatisfied, every nearby cabinet was thoroughly checked, the near nonexistent supply of dishes and silverware shunted aside for good measure, and the corners of the immediate area searched for anything resembling an ear sized radio or a likewise device. "Because!" he finally spoke up with no measure of hiding the pride in what he did, which was boosted slightly when it became apparent that he wasn't being set up for a trap. "It has been a Jones family tradition for decades! That and for one simple fact: Pork fat-"
"RULES!"
Only two things could break the silence that permeated the kitchen: A pin dropping, and to those with above average hearing listening intently, the pulling, stretching, and straining of muscles of a neck twisting a head to gape at a radio tapped to the ceiling of the room... three if a cackle creeping out from behind a corner, courtesy of a already halfway out of the entire complex.
"RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA H!"
(End Flashback!)
XVX
Cantina, Hyperion
Bamf!
Against their will, bleary blue eyes peered out to inadvertently inspect the bar top that he had fallen asleep on.
"I can tell you from personal experience, kid, the only times sleeping on a bar, or a table for that matter, is only a good idea when you're drunk," Tychus drawled.
For his pearl of wisdom, he received a grunt of acknowledgment as a unguided hand practically plopped around the bar to hunt down an open bottle of beer, pick it up, and gently shake it to ensure there was still something of value inside before even considering a replacement for it. One swig was all it took in the end before the ghost lurched languidly lurched forward to slip a hand past the unattended bar to dredge out another bottle while its predecessor met its fate in a trashcan sitting in the corner of the bar.
"So what's got you in a mood?" Tychus drawled once more. A noncommittal grunt was the most he got out of the helmetless ghost in response as he nursed his newfound drink. "Brat," he grumbled as something drew the younger of the two's attention away, his eyes glazing over in thought, to which Tychus soon followed out of curiosity. It was one of the television screens hanging in the middle of the cantina in a messy spike of cables that held them and a jukebox aloft, the volume was on low, and on it were a trio of shadowed hardskin equipped marines trying to hock their wares in a commercial. Casting a glance at the blond, now engrossed in his own little world it seemed, he shook his head and tended to his own needs in a manner much like, though far less subtle in comparison, to no avail...
It would appear the guy who usually tended the bar hadn't bothered to restock it just yet before leaving it.
"Damn it..." Peeking at the blond once more, and the TV for good measure, he laid a good calculating eye on the unopened bottle in his own grip... Acting on precaution, he tentatively reached over and waved a hand directly in Naruto's sight to better gauge how... aware he was of his surroundings. "Don't mind if I do." No contest of any sort was given when the beer slipped out of the entranced teen's grip and came into the possession of a mechanical hand.
Br-sss!
"Another thing I can tell you from personal experience, never drop your guard with your drink. Never know when someone... of ill refute is gonna come around an' take it," he chortled.
XVX
(Flashback!)
Granus II
Every now and then the company had been put on regular guard duty rather than its usual job of wiping out pockets of wildlife that proved itself to be more of a nuisance than a threat, in majority at least. When it was deep within the confederate territory however... things get boring faster than they normally would for an otherwise relatively inactive company of soldiers. Especially if the desert world they were stationed at only had small scorpids as its greatest threat and target practice.
For the sake of relieving otherwise oppressive boredom, people often took to unnecessary risks to liven up their day.
"You sure about this?"
"Quite sure."
"You have to be absolutely horrible to miss this."
"Bring it on you pansy!" Jam had to shout from afar. With a shooting range and a bar being the only entertainment for miles around and packed full with the other squads, some of the less fortunate squads had to make do with their own form of entertainment... in Omega's case regarding the triplets and their relatively new squad mate, it involved the legend of the William Tell and a C-Ten rifle.
Gulp! "Alright then..."
POW!
And down went the apple... with Jam.
"HOLY SHIT!"
"OH MY GOD! HE KILLED JAM!"
"YOU BASTARD!"
"I'MSORRYI'MSORRYI'M-..." Of all things the three brothers were capable of, holding a straight face wasn't amongst their collective abilities. Already the poor restrain they had in keeping a panic, serious demeanor gave way to a fit of giggles, and a quick peek through his scope reveal Jam had rolled himself onto his stomach so he could turn about to face them to witness, and join in, Naruto's humiliation.
And the crash course of how psychics serve their revenge.
"What the- YIPE!"
"OH CRAP!"
"HAVE MERCY!"
Of the three, only Jam had the benefit of distance to at least try to run before he, along with his siblings, were hoisted into the air and spun around like aerial spintops.
(End Flashback!)
XVX
"BURP!"
It was only out of startled reflex and later a realization that the ghost discovered his drink was missing from his clutches... "Oh you are an ass..."
"Not my fault you got distracted, kid." A victorious smirk regaled the conquering beer drinker when the blond abandoned his seat and made for the door... his triumph however had to be cast aside when the distinctive clinking of boots upon the floor came to a halt directly behind him. "Aw you got to be kiddin' me..."
"GRAAAH!" As sudden as the cry came, the marginal commando of modern day warfare came down upon the back of the suit with one arm circling around him in a tight enough grip to hold on and the other wailing down wherever it may.
"Get-!"
WHAM!
"YOUR-!"
WHAM!
"OWN-!"
WHAM!
"BEER!"
WHAM!
"For the love of...!" There was only one solution to this current dilemma. Putting to use his years of drinking, his own thirst, need to get drunk, and what little care he had in defending himself when the teen seemed content with annoying him by repeatedly attacking the top of his suit, he chugged the last of the bottle's contents and made use of its container in a stroke of utter 'brilliance.'
SMASH!
Even disorientated however, the arm holding Naruto in place refused to yield. "This might take a little more effort..."
XVX
(Flashback!)
Stratos
On ever rare occasions were the Interfectorem Bestiæ on the offensive. Of those occasions, they had only one trait similar throughout all of them: They were paving the way for colonization. Hulks, truer name being the Great Wagnas by biologists, were three meter tall bipedal creatures of bark-like skin, most likely a evolutionary response to other predators in order to survive their temperate woodland environment, that had the strength and hide strong enough to tear apart a siege tank that wasn't deployed to deploy its more devastating attack power. Even then they needed back up when they persevered through the hell a siege tank could bring by itself. They weren't the only bestial enemies of some worry, but they were the most prevalent threat throughout the entire world save for some of its regions.
They weren't the only nightmare however to be dealt with in the interests of those just itching to start tearing up more soil than what the special company did for their own protection. Arbons, 'locally' known as Biggies, were feathered monstrosities that gave a Leviathan's engine a run for its money that practically grounded anything without either bulk or a cloaking field to defend it. Loken, "Rams" or "Turtles," were colossal turtle-like creatures that outweighed the Hulks in both overall size and width. They had a real bad habit of living up to the aforementioned name as their primary method of attack when "threatened;" anger-holics had greater patience towards everything than the demented moss covered boulder imposters...
Not to mention the other "woodland critters" that had an unusual aptitude for death, destruction, mayhem, and overall cantankerous attitudes that gave all the more reason as to why an army unit, never mind one essentially specialized in the eradication of indigenous life, had to be called down on them. Was it a waste of resources, once more ignoring the company's special if not odd purpose? Perhaps. Then again those people who dared ask such a question or a reasonable facsimile of it never tried to set foot on Stratos to begin with.
To those who had and weren't on duty, this type of question was often ignored in utter contempt or at best listened to in complete apathy as they busied themselves in one manner or another such as but not limited to gambling, lounging about in their assigned quarters, and/or plotting revenge after one of such of the albino variant of said creatures successfully ran off with his with a especially sharpened knife for starters.
As for Omega squad, an off duty one, it was a little mixed when it was soon learned that a newly ordained bar was soon constructed in the base with a working TV once the relay was up and running. As to who was doing what in there, Naruto couldn't tell other than that Denise was practically giving him remedial lessons in grammar after catching him writing a letter...
"This is embarrassing you know."
"Tut, tut. Don't be that way. I'm sure your girlfriend wo-"
"SHE'S NOT MY GIRLFRIEND!"
The corporal medic simply rolled her eyes whilst she shook her head in mild derision. "I'm more than sure she would appreciate a letter that wasn't written by something akin to a muscle bound bru-"
(End Flashback!)
XVX
BAM! "OOF!"
"Come on kid, get off!"
To Tychus' complete misfortune... he made things only worse when he effectively slammed a still clingy Naruto against the wall in mild effort on his own part when prying him off failed despite the power of his suit called for unnecessary harm. The cracking of a ghost's neck in preparation for a fight was definitely a sign that attested to that.
"TAKE THIS!" Long before he even realized it, the 'escaped' convict's face came under assault in a manner he was nowhere near expecting nor accustomed to; by the powers that be beyond his reckoning, a lightning charged hand managed to reach far enough to actually reach his face and zap it repeatedly like a low powered taser with each maddened jerk of the hand thanks to the scoundrel's instinctive need to get away from the offending appendage.
"WHAT THE HELL!"
WHAM!
ZAP!
"GET OFF!"
BAM!
ZAP-ZAP!
"GET THE HELL OFF ME YOU LITTLE PSYCHOPATH!"
"THAT'S MISTER LITTLE PSYCHOPATH TO YOU!"
"What the hell-"
BAM!-WHAM!
"DON'T MAKE ME SQUISH YA!"
ZAP!
"GAAAH!"
Thanks to his damned need to get away and shake off the demented teen, Tychus had resorted to running around the cantina, jerking himself around in a bid to shake off the crazed ghost, and slamming the blond into whatever was the most convenient at the time regardless of what messes or damage it caused. Even the thought of dancing looked at best mildly appealing if there was a good chance it shook off the rabid teen that continued to zap his reddening face away.
FWOOSH!
Dousing the blond in fire extinguisher foam did not cross his mind though... especially when said foam stopped him dead in his tracks in mid fail to rid himself of the zap happy nutcase when he too fell victim to it as well.
"I have no idea what the hell is going, but you two are gonna knock it off right now," Raynor lowly drawled as he sternly eyed the two with said extinguisher in one hand and its hose pointed at them in the other.
"... He started it," Naruto spoke up to defend himself...
FWOOSH!
To find out the hose was more than an empty threat.
"Hehe he-"
FWOOSH!
One not reserved for Naruto alone.
"Clean this mess up!" Thanks to the extinguisher's small size he managed to spin it about like a revolver would be in a slightly flashy western movie, 'holstered' it, and walked away through the nearest door with a smirk on his face as the two he assailed with foam bore deadpanned stares into his back till the door bore the brunt of the combined looks.
"Truce?"
"Truce."