Chapter 23

She had only made it three blocks before pulling over; her palm ached, her heart hurt and head was about to explode. She didn't know how long she'd sat in her car sobbing when the door opened slowly and his warm hands pulled her out of the car into his embrace.

"Shit Angel, I'm so damn sorry."

The words rumbling in his chest and the warmth of his body made her cry harder. She felt him walking and then a door creaking, he slowly lowered her into a seat, his lips never leaving her hair as those words were repeated over and over, and then the car was moving. Angela couldn't pull her face from her hands. The shame she felt for striking someone, the embarrassment she felt at his crudely spoken words. The realization that she'd lost herself in someone that she clearly didn't know. As the car slowly bumped down the road her thoughts exhausting her Angela didn't realize when sleep took her.

~U~

Paul was beyond disgusted with himself. When Angela got in her car and drove away without looking back his knees buckled and damn if he didn't let himself cry in front of Bella and then of all things let her comfort him. He was on all fours in that parking lot when her small cold hand stroked across his bare shoulder.

"It's going to be ok."

At the time Paul wanted to jump up and scream and yell at her that she had no fucking clue if it would be ok or not, but the more contact from Bella the calmer he got until he was able to pull himself together. She was sitting on the ground beside him her hand still on his shoulder.

"You have to tell her Paul."

He choked back the bile in his throat, "I can't tell her Bella not now, this is all so fucked up, I fucked everything thing up."

"I don't mean about the imprint, I mean tell her about you. She needs this from you Paul."

"I can't," he'd choked out.

"You have to or you are going to lose her."

He wanted to tell her she was crazy, that she had no clue, that the imprint wouldn't let her get away, but deep down he knew the truth. He knew that the imprint was different that all this time she was deciding their fate without even knowing it. When he stood he knew what he had to do.

~U~

As Paul sat on the floor, his back pressed against the wall and his feet resting against the skids that made up the frame of the bed in front of him he fought back the nausea. Angela was lying in the middle of HIS bed in HIS bedroom in HIS house; she was in his house. The house that only had four rooms, one of them being the bathroom. The house that was in shittier shape than Jake's and no where near as nice as Jared's. It was a cabin really. A hunting cabin tucked at the far end of the reservation in the woods. He couldn't believe that he'd brought her here and that he'd thought laying her on the bed that had no sheets and a ratty ass cover was a good idea. But as he watched her he realized how damn good she looked there. Her shoes sitting on the worn hardwood floor beside the bed. She looked like she belonged in that shitty little bed and as much as he wanted her to wake up so he could talk to her he wanted her to stay sleeping so he could just watch her, so he could have her just for a little while longer.

When Angela groaned and stretched Paul rolled to his feet and then slowly climbed on the bed and slid in behind her. He knew she was about to wake, that it'd take a few minutes. This was the time when she'd do that little groan and that little stretch when he'd force himself out of her bed, but now he needed to be here when she woke. She needed to hear what he had to say, she HAD to listen.

As she rolled to her back and groaned again Paul used his index finger to move the hair out of her face. Her eyes fluttered and then slowly opened. He could see the pain there when and he hoped what he was about to reveal would take at least some of it away.

"I was eight years old when she left us," Paul whispered his index finger slowly rubbing across her cheek. "I was born in Tacoma but we moved here shortly after. She loved him, at least that's what I was told, I'm not sure if I believe it or not but that's what he told me. We lived here in this house until I was two and then she couldn't stay here, didn't like anything about the rez so my dad packed us up and moved us to Tacoma to be closer to her friends and family. I don't remember a time when at some point in the day one of them wasn't either yelling or crying. It happened that way so much and for so long that it became normal. My dad would go to work logging and I'd be home with her all day and sometimes all night and even though she didn't cry that day because of the yelling she'd be sad, I thought it was because she missed him. As the years went on it was always the same, when they loved it was fierce and even as a kid I thought it was pretty amazing. The other kids didn't have parents that touched and kissed all the time, mine did. The year I turned 8 everything went to shit. Up until that time, no matter what my mom would put me to sleep, read me a story, that year she stopped and the fighting got worse. One day she wasn't there when I got off the bus, I let myself in the house because my dad was at work, I made myself a snack and did my homework and she still wasn't home. I put myself to sleep that night." Paul took a shuddering breath when Angela's warm hand smoothed out the knots in his forehead. He took her hand and held it rolling to his side, he couldn't look at her. "In the middle of the night I woke up and they were screaming at each other, he was begging her not to leave and she kept telling him that she was that she couldn't believe what he'd done to her. Then she just left. She didn't come in my room to say good bye, nothing she just left. He sat outside of my door and cried all night long, begging her to come back but she never did. I didn't go to school for a week because I was scared that he was going to leave me too, I didn't have anything to worry about though he never left the damn house, he'd just sit and cry and beg and he wouldn't even get up. One day he made me get up pushed me out the door for the bus, when I got home from school that afternoon everything was packed into the back of his truck and he told me we were getting the fuck out of there, that's when we moved back here."

Angela sat up rubbing her hand across her face, "Paul you don't have to-"

"Listen, you want to know about me this is it. This is why I've been the way I've been. I've never told anyone this shit, all they know is that we lived in Tacoma for a while and then came back, they know that my mom isn't around anymore and that she's never bothered to come back."

"Where is she?"

"The last he told me six months ago she was still in Tacoma had a boyfriend."

"Your dad-"

"Is pathetic for letting a woman do this to him for the last twelve years, says he can't help himself that he needs to know that she's alright."

"What happened to them?"

Paul sat up too rubbing his neck, "he's never told me, but there are rumors; who knows what the hell is true because there are all kinds of damn rumors."

Drawing in a deep breath Angela looked around the room, "Paul where am I?"

"You're in my house, my room."

Paul watched as Angela's mouth fell open and she slowly scanned the room. "Why?"

"You're not going to leave me too, especially over some stupid shit. I know I fucked up."

"You bringing me to your house is going to fix that?"

"Me opening up to you is what you want isn't it?"

"It would help," Angela nodded her agreement.

Paul stood from the bed and held his hands out, "this is me opening up to you. This house is shit Angela, my life is shit, but if you really want it, here it is."

Standing from the bed Angela frowned when her sock snagged on a nail sticking up out of the floor. Looking around her eyes found her shoes on the floor near a milk crate with an alarm clock on it and she let her eyes scan the room. When they landed on Paul she realized he looked nervous, his hands fisted at his sides. Something inside her twitched and she held her hand out and waited.

"So show me around."

~U~

Paul stood frozen for a beat before he took her hand and slowly led her out of the room.

~U~

His house was tiny and rustic and Angela loved everything about it. He'd take her from one end to the other growling as she scoped out each room, his hands growing clammy as the tour continued. Every time she'd say something nice about the place he'd snort disgusted or he'd make a nasty comment about it. When they finally settled on the front porch Angela couldn't take her eyes off him, her mind was racing him opening up to her like this only made her want to know more. She knew that he was overwhelmed.

"Paul I'm sorry."

Paul looked at her a small smile playing at his lips, "You have no reason to be sorry."

"I hit you."

"I deserved it."

"No one deserves to be hit."

Running his hand down his face Paul looked at her, "you deserve better."

"Why do you say that so much?"

"What that you deserve better?" Without letting her answer Paul leaned forward his elbows on his knees, "you deserve better because you are better than this. This reservation is like a damn vacuum; it sucks everything out of a person and leaves a big clump of shit behind."

Angela cocked her eyebrow at him and shook her head, "if you hate it so much then why don't you leave?"

"I don't leave because I can't."

"Why can't you leave?"

"It's hard to explain right now," when Angela cut her eyes his way Paul turned taking her hand in his. "I have obligations here that keep me from leaving but I swear I'll tell you about it soon."

"Why didn't you tell me about any of this?"

Paul growled at her question, "is it really that hard to understand? Look around you. Do you think you'd really be happy here? Do you think your parents would approve if they saw this place? If they knew I didn't have a job or any money? Look at how you live and how I live. It's not that hard to figure out."

"None of that matters to me, why can't you understand that Paul?"

"It might not matter now but what about two years down the road."

"I'm not her and as much as you don't believe me none of this matters to me. I don't know what I've done to make you think that any of this stuff that you are stressing over matters."

Paul chuckled under his breath and clapped his hands together, "you don't have to I know how this works, rich Forks girls slum it down on the rez all the time, but when it comes to hanging out on their turf yeah not happening."

"You hang out at my house all the time."

"At YOUR house or down here," Paul said jabbing his finger into the floor.

Angela sat gaping at him then jumped up and held her hand out, "alright come on."

Paul rolled his eyes and sat back starting at her.

"I'm serious come on." Angela snapped her fingers and wiggled her hand until he reached forward and latched onto it allowing her to pull him forward.

~U~

Paul's eyes narrowed as Angela pulled into her driveway, "this is where we're going, looks familiar."

"Har Har smarty pants I've just got to go inside and get something."

Paul sat in the car waiting, listening as she told her mom she had a project to work on and that she might be late. Her mother agreed and let her know that Leah was already on her way home with the boys so they wouldn't miss dinner. His brows pinched as her heard her climb the steps and then he laughed when she muttered a very innocent curse when something fell to her floor with a thud.

~U~

"Are you serious right now," Paul growled as Angela pulled into the Forks bowling alley.

Angela smiled at him wiggling in her seat, "what you've never been bowling before?"

Angela's smile grew as Paul narrowed his eyes and leaned across the center console, "I'm not quite dressed right."

At that Angel's eyes scanned down his toned chest and she couldn't help the blush that flushed her face, clearing her throat Angela forced her eyes up, "I can fix that c'mon."

Angela waited by the trunk as Paul unfolded himself from the front seat and made his way to the back to her, digging out what she needed she snapped up and shoved the ball of cloth into his chest, "meet me inside when you're ready."

~U~

Paul watched as Angela skipped inside, his annoyance and confusion getting better than him. Unfolding the ball of clothing he chuckled at what he saw. A white t-shirt and a pair of, oh shit it was a pair of her socks with a purple heel and toe. Paul shook his head before pulling on the shirt and making his way inside.

When he got in the building Paul was surprised at how packed the place was despite the emptiness of the parking lot. Scanning the crowd he spotted Angela amongst a group of kids her age and made his way over to her. When he got there she already had bowling shoes on and was smiling at his approach.

"Are you ready for this," Angela asked pressing a pair of shoes into his chest. "I'm not sure if those will fit I made a guess."

Taking the shoes Paul sat down near her pushed his feet into her socks wincing when he heard the fibers stretch, growling when he heard Angela chuckle above him. "Really cute, you can get a shirt that fits half decent but not a decent pair of socks."

Shrugging her shoulder Angela shot him another smile and sat down beside him, "I hope you don't care, this is the graduation committee, we had this meeting at lunch today and this was kind of a last minute end of the year thing."

"I'm cool." Paul was still staring at her when a boy walked up and started talking to Angela about her plans after graduation when she deflected the question and instead introduced him as her boyfriend. Paul saw the flush on her face and watched her foot shuffle but he smiled stood and shook the kids hand.

As the night went on every time she introduced him to someone it was as her boyfriend and by the end of the evening he was pretty sure that every one in the bowling alley knew that she was with him, that she was claiming him and damn if it didn't make him feel good, better than he ever thought it would.

Angela's squeal pulled Paul from a conversation about trucks he was having with one of the guys, turning he was almost knocked to the ground when she launched herself at him and slammed her lips down on his. Before he could even kiss her back she pulled back wiggling in his arms.

"Oh my gosh; Paul I got a strike!" Angela kissed him again before dropping her legs and making her way to the girls on her team.

"Dude," the guy said slapping his back, "you're lucky; she's never like that at school."

Paul nodded a smile forming on his lips as he watched Angela laugh and joke with her friends, "yeah man she's great."

~U~

In the parking lot an hour later Angela leaned against the car eyeing Paul as he stripped out of the white t-shirt she had given him, "you could have kept it."

"Do you want me to keep it," Paul teased as he wiggled the shirt in front of her, "be honest now."

Angela smiled while grabbing at the shirt, "not really." Looking around the parking lot Angela scooted into Paul her chest almost bumping his, "honestly I bought that shirt hoping that you'd wear it eventually so it would smell like you, so I could wear it to bed on the nights you don't stop by."

Paul growled and crumbled the shirt in his fist as he pulled her into a kiss, "it didn't fit very well," he whispered as his kisses traveled down to her neck.

"It fit perfectly if you ask me, the girls thought so too." Paul smiled because as the night went on he'd heard more than one comment about his body or the way he and Angela looked together more than one of those comments coming from her.

As Paul's lips continued a path down across her throat Angela groaned and pulled back, her hands going to his face, "I'm not ashamed of you Paul, I've never been ashamed of you and if I made you think that I really am sorry."

Paul nodded rubbing his forehead against hers, "it's my shit."

Angela placed a gentle kiss on his lips and pulled back again, "well just let me in and it can be mine too, we can try to figure it out. I want to be in there Paul," Angela said while resting her hand against his heart.

Paul kissed the top of her head and pulled her further into his chest, if she only knew she was already there.