Chapter Four- Reminiscing and Purple Pumps

It was very late when Remus Lupin walked into Grimmauld Place. The entire house was dark and disturbingly quiet. His robes and tweed jumper and were soaked from the pouring rain outside and his socks he could feel were completely drenched as well. After safely locking the front door behind him and hanging up his wet cloak, he put down his dilapidated suitcase on the front table before setting his wand on top of it.

He sighed. Sirius was probably upstairs passed out drunk again. Brilliant. Another lousy night moping up his friend's vomit and all he wanted to do was sleep-

He paused. He could hear voices from downstairs. Not coming from the kitchen- but from the small closet under the stairs that led to the dark basement room for storage. He headed over to find the door slightly ajar and he opened it- listening.

" –'kin piece of shit and that's why this crap makes me so godamn miserable and pissed-"

Remus rolled his eyes at the sound of his friend's slurred voice wondering what he was having a conversation with this time. Last week it had been a broken candlestick.

He reached the bottom of the stairs to only to receive a shock. Sirius was there but also with him was none other than Nymphadora Tonks- both of them stood on separate boxes surrounded by dark, murky water that was covering the floor by almost a half meter. A rusty pipe on the side of the wall had cracked and water was pouring all over the place. Worse still, Sirius was clutching a bottle of half-empty firewhiskey under one arm and wearing purple women's high-heeled shoes.

Tonks had a bucket in one hand and a large wrench in the other and was hitting the broken pipe with it- looking frustrated.

"-so then I ask myself, how come my life has gone so- Ah, Remus! Perfect- take over." Sirius said loudly catching sight of him.

Tonks turned, her hair- long and fiery red today was hanging in her eyes. "Remus!" she said happily, pushing the long strands off to the side. "What are you doing?"

"I was planning on staying here for the night. I needed somewhere to stay again. I have to be up early tomorrow to go tracking with Hestia." he said. "Nice hair."

She made a face. She was still bitter about the fact that in the end, she was the one that had to come to him for the counter-spell after the enormous hair-dying incident. Remus had fixed his own hair shortly after dying hers and he was still amused by how touchy she was by his revenge.

He turned to look at his friend again, "Why are you wearing women's shoes Sirius?"

"We have a bet." Tonks explained. "I have an office party to attend in two weeks and I want to start practicing walking in my high-heels so that I won't trip and fall." She lifted her robes a bit and Remus saw some sparkly baby blue shoes on her own feet. "Sirius here says it's not difficult to do and so we have a bet- I say he can't last 24 hours."

"I'm going on six hours!" he boasted. "It's easy!"

Remus bit back a laugh. "Where did you get the shoes?"

"My dear old Mum's closet." He said with a rarely heard, but all too familiar barklike laugh.

Remus sighed and waded across the room, not bothering to keep his already damp clothes dry.

"No Remus, your exhausted- go upstairs and go to bed- it should be SOMEONE else's responsibility to fix the pipes." She said with a nasty glare at her cousin.

"Good point." Sirius admitted. "KREACHER!" he bellowed.

"I meant YOU!"

"Kreacher might drown in all this water anyway." Remus pointed out as he climbed onto a box near Sirius.

"What a tragedy that would be." Sirius said sarcastically. He looked over across the room at where the steps to the door lay. "Where is that little piece of filth? He's supposed to come when he's called."

"Sirius-"

"Probably crying about how his mistresses, 'cross-dressing brat is defiling the house again'."

"Did he really say that?" Tonks asked with a laugh.

"Yes."

"Kreacher shouldn't be talking." Tonks chuckled. "Walking around the house in something that resembles a woman's thong."

Sirius, halfway through a swig of firewhiskey chocked on it and started coughing heavily.

"Sirius, that's not going to help you fix the pipes. Make it worse, most definitely." Remus pointed out with a nod towards the bottle.

"I'm going to tell him that the next time I see him." Sirius said joyfully to Tonks completely ignoring Remus's comment. "I always feel so much better after insulting him."

"Sirius-"

"Shut up Remus, I'm not in the mood to hear it."

"Fine." Remus said, leaning over further to inspect the pipe. It looked very bad on closer inspection.

Sirius was fiddling with a radio perched precariously on an old bookcase. Static filled the small room as he tried searching for a station. Suddenly- the radio waves ceased to fall on a familiar song.

"Remus!" Sirius exclaimed. "It's-"

"I know Padfoot- I recognize it too."

"What?" Tonks asked with a raised eyebrow. "This song? It sounds like it was sung long before you two were even born."

"It was." Remus said. "But it used to be Frank Longbottom's favorite song. We had to share a dorm with him, and he used to listen to this type of music all the time."

"First the Screaming Skulls, now 1940's music that my grandparents listened too." Tonks said, shaking her head.

"The chorus is coming up!" Sirius said. "You'd better sing it with me Moony."

"I will not."

"Come'on, SING YOU STUBBORN ARSE!"

"No."

"I'll turn you into a rat and feed you to Buckbeak."

"Not going to do it."

"I'll throw out all the chocolate in the house."

That was a low threat but Remus refused to show he was affected by it. "I'll go out and buy some more."

"You don't have any money." Sirius sneered.

"Fair enough." Remus said, giving up at last.

Sirius threw his arm around his friend and teetered unsteadily as he stood on Remus's box with him and held out his bottle of firewhiskey before them like a microphone. Remus nearly gagged from the reek of alcohol and the stench of his 'unwashed-for-several-days' friend.

Tonks watched them both from her box, a grin on her pale face.

The chorus came and Remus and Sirius began to sing (and in Sirius's case rather drunkenly)-

"That blue eyed witch

She broke my heart

One small glance

And I fell apart

Where are you now

My blue-eyed babe?

You took my love

And then gave it away!"

Tonks snorted with laughter and applauded.

Sirius leaned forward to bow and would have fallen off the box if Remus hadn't caught him in time.

"Alright." Tonks said firmly, "Your singing is amazing, WWN material, really- but I'm afraid we have to fix this pipe by tonight. Any suggestions?"

Sirius was too busy taking another swig of firewhiskey to respond.

"Is it just this pipe that broke?" Remus asked Tonks.

"Yes."

"How long ago?"

"We came down not more than a half hour ago when we heard the noise of the water."

Remus frowned and examined it more closely. "I don't think it's the pressure itself- more likely the corroded rust that caused the pipe to wear away at its already significantly weaker points."

Tonks raised an eyebrow. "Alright Remus Lupin- plumber magnificent-"

"Hardly." Remus said briskly. "I'm a simple teacher, remember?"

"Well then, Professor-" Tonks grinned. "You fix it up."

Remus sighed and gave her a warning look. "Please don't call me Professor, Tonks- I've told you before already, it makes me feel very old."

"Harry and the other kids did."

"Yes, but I'd prefer if you didn't."

"Professor…" Tonks said leaning forward to poke him teasingly with the wrench.

He sighed. "What is it, Nymphadora?"

She drew back, a look of surprise and disbelief on her pretty, heart-shaped face. "Oh well fine- if that's the way you're going to be then, you evil git."

Remus smiled and straightened up. "Right- do we have any tools besides those?"

Sirius shrugged. "There's some upstairs I think."

"I'll get them." Tonks offered, taking off her pretty shoes before sliding off her box and wading through the water to get to the stairs.

"Cheater!" Sirius bellowed.

"The bet's on you Sirius- I know I can walk in these." She said smoothly.

Remus bent over again to examine the pipe when suddenly Tonks let out an angry cry.

"Oh I don't believe this!" she exclaimed. "It's locked!"

Remus's head shot up. "What?"

"It's jammed- its locked from the outside."

Sirius rounded on Remus. "WHY DID YOU LOCK US IN!"

"I didn't!" Remus exclaimed nervously. "I didn't even shut the door behind me!"

"It's impossible for Remus to have locked us in." Tonks said from the stairs. "The lock is on the outside of the door."

"KREACHER!!!!!!!!!!!!" Sirius roared kicking Tonks's bucket she had left on the box.

Remus ducked the bucket and frowned. "It's alright though- you two have your wands right?"

There was a long silence.

"Right?" Remus asked again, a bit more urgently this time.

"Er-" Tonks said, coming down the stairs again and poking her blushing head from around the corner. "Actually mine is upstairs in my cloak pocket."

Remus closed his eyes and turned towards Sirius.

"Sirius?"

"Godamnit Moony, why're you looking at me? I misplaced mine days ago. There's no point in having it if all you're going to do is stay locked in a house that your old hag of a mother-"

"But you have yours!" Tonks interrupted, looking at Remus. "Right?"

The silence lay stretched out again over them all.

"It's upstairs on the front table." Remus said quietly.

The steadily dripping water was the only audible sound in the room.

"Ohhhh…holy…shit." Sirius groaned.

"Oh my god!" Tonks cried, looking slightly hysterical. "If Mad-Eye ever hears of this it'll be my arse. I'm an auror! 'Constant vigilance' and all that crap! I'm supposed to have my wand on me at all times!"

"It's not your fault." Remus reassured her.

"Mad-Eye won't get to you first, don't worry Tonks- we're all going to drown in this rapidly rising water." Sirius said cheerfully.

"Thank you, Padfoot- that comment really was not necessary." Remus said, eyeing the dirty water below.

"Shut up. You're a prat Moony- you left your wand on the front table!"

"You're a drunk- shut up."

"Wait a second, this is stupid-why don't we just apparate?" Tonks asked them both.

Sirius let out a bitter laugh. "You can't apparate on any of the lower levels in this house."

"Why not?" Tonks asked in surprise.

"My parents didn't trust me." Sirius said simply. "Afraid I might try to get out or worse, invite my half-blood friends to this place. As if…" he added darkly as he eyed the grimy room.

Tonks flopped down heavily on the bottom of the stairs. "What're we going to do?" she groaned.

"Get drunk?" Sirius suggested.

"Kindof hard to do so when you've drank it all already." Remus pointed out.

"Not so." Sirius said with an evil grin.

"Oh?" Tonks asked, perking up.

Sirius crawled over a few more boxes before going over to a halfopen, moldy green crate in the corner that Remus had never noticed before. He pulled out another bottle of firewhiskey from it- and another.

"So THAT's where it's all been coming from." Remus said darkly.

"No- Dung was just looking for a place to leave it all for awhile and so he left it here- he should be back any day now to pick it up again."

"It'll all be empty thanks to you."

"God Remus, stop being such a gloomy bastard."

"Easy for you to say- you're not the one that has to clean up when you get sick."

"No one said that you had to."

"Fine." Remus snapped. "Next time I won't bother and you can just fall asleep in your own vomit."

Sirius grinned. "Very touchy these days- I was going to ask if it was that time of the month again for you- but I know better."

Remus gave him a nasty look.

Tonks sat there watching their banter with a polite smile.

Sirius tossed a bottle to her with a chuckle before handing one to Remus. "Though-" he smirked. "Friendly, perfect, good boy, Mr. Moony wouldn't do such a thing would he?"

Remus took the bottle from his friend with a scowl. "Try me."

Sirius raised an eyebrow and Remus took up the challenge at once. He tore off the cap and grabbing the bottle by the neck began drinking it down. It made his throat burn and tasted absolutely vile but he'd be damned if Sirius got him on something like this.

When he had drained a good amount- he stopped and holding the bottle in his hand, glared at his friend.

"Impressive." Sirius said the smallest of smiles on his face.

Tonks looked rather dumbstruck. "Did I really just see that?" she asked in an awed voice.

"Moony's a better drinker than he lets on sometimes." Sirius yawned. "Doesn't do it enough though. Probably should."

"You do enough drinking for the both of us I think." Remus said, sitting himself down on one of the boxes. He wondered why he had been provoked by Sirius- he wondered if it had been Tonks's presence that partly made him reckless. He would probably regret this later.

Tonks opened her bottle and took a sip, watching her cousin collapse onto one of the boxes as well. "So." She said cheerfully.

Sirius leaned back against an old dresser and sat bolt upright-

"ARGH!"

"What's wrong?"

"Something poked me!"

Remus rolled his eyes and leaned over to see an exceptionally piece of sharp wood protruding from one of the drawers. He tugged at it until it came loose and tossed into the murky water.

"You alright?" Tonks asked her cousin.

Sirius was rubbing his back. "Yeah…" he said sourly. "Am I bleeding, Remus?"

"It couldn't have hurt you THAT badly." Remus said quickly scanning his friends back for puncture wounds. Not bad enough to scar you for life."

"Oy- you want to see something?"

Remus raised an eyebrow warily. "Do I?" he asked pointedly.

Sirius wasn't listening- he pulled up his ragged robes a bit and displayed his left- high-heeled shoed foot to him and Tonks. "Look!"

"What is it?" Tonks asked.

"Scar." Sirius said. "Right there going across my ankle? See?"

Remus looked more closely and indeed saw a thin, pale scar running across his friend's foot and ankle. "Hm. How'd you get that?"

"From my motorbike- the time I got in that terrific accident and ended up in a muggle hospital."

"Mine's not that bad." Tonks piped up. "I have one though-" she screwed up her eyes for a moment thinking hard. Then she leaned over and picked up her robes high enough to see her pale knee- one of them having a molted scar on it.

"Got it when I was a kid." she said. "Usually hide it with morphing these days but got it when I tumbled down the stairs and smashed right through the glass door. Of course I kept picking at it so it wouldn't heal and here's the scar still."

"Ouch." Sirius said.

"I think of everyone- Harry probably wins the scar contest." Remus said.

"True." Tonks agreed. "Without a doubt."

"I dunno." Sirius said slowly. "Remus could give him a run for his money."

"Sirius, that's not even funny. Harry's scar is much more…"

"Scar-ish? Manly? Sexy?" Sirius sniggered. "I dunno why you put so much effort into hiding it all the time Moony- women would love it."

"Where's your scar?" Tonks asked sitting up further on her side of the room, looking closely at him as if it might just miraculously appear.

"On my arm." Remus said mildly.

"You could totally come up with a good story for it too- like you were attacked by a mob of killer geese-"

"'A mob of killer geese?'" Tonks repeated. "Honestly Sirius, what goes through your drunken mind I wonder?"

"That's exactly what I'll tell women- a mob of geese attacked me and left me with this one nasty scar on my arm-"

"How did you get it?" Tonks asked curiously.

Remus hesitated before answering her. "I received it when I was little and bitten by a werewolf."

Tonks's face contorted into a sad, surprised expression. "Oh, I'm sorry Remus-"

"No, don't apologize. It's fine." Remus said with a reassuring smile.

"Well whatever you say bit you- women would totally find it sexy." Sirius said.

"I don't know what woman in her right mind would say such a thing."

"Hey! Tonks is a woman! Lets ask her opinion!" Sirius said suddenly.

"No."

"Why not? Get a real woman's opinion, eh?"

"No, I won't-"

"LADIES AND GENTS!" Sirius bellowed as if he were speaking to an imaginary audience. "TONIGHT REMUS LUPIN WILL BE GOING THE FULL MONTY!"

Tonks laughed.

"Shut up, Padfoot." Remus smiled. "Just shut up."

"STRIP! STRIP! STRIP!" Sirius chanted. Tonks applauded wildly, playing along.

Remus sighed and reluctantly pulled off his wet sweater.

Sirius wolf whistled. Remus glared at him and set about trying to roll up his sleeve.

"Merlin's balls, how many layers do you wear Moony?" he snorted as he watched Remus struggle with his shirt. "Just take the damn shirt off as well."

Remus blushed. "No." He was very thin, pale and his back still had ugly scars on that were still healing from the recent full moon. The last thing he wanted was Tonks to see him like that.

"Do you want me and Tonks to take it off for you?" Sirius asked sarcastically.

Tonks perked up at this Remus noticed, much to his mixed and pleasure and dismay.

"No. No. I'll do it myself." said Remus as he continued rolling up his sleeve. Finally he reached his upper arm and pulled up the rest of his shirt-exposing his old scar.

There was a moment of silence. Remus started at the water covered floor-embarrassed. It was a terrible, hideous scar and why he had showed them knowing that it would only worsen Tonks' opinion of him must have stupidity and temporary insanity. That or the alcohol which was making his head buzz…

"I like it." Tonks said. Remus looked up at her in disbelief to see she was smiling at him. "It looks real tough."

"I have to say-in a completely heterosexual way-" Sirius added hurriedly, Remus thought the effect was ruined as Sirius was still wearing women's purple high-heels. "That it's sexy and you should stop wearing so many heavy, skin covering sweaters."

"And I concur!" Tonks said loudly with a rougish wink.

Remus smiled. "Cheers, mates."

"Well-" Sirius yawned, "Moony wins the scar contest then and you have a real woman's opinion that it truly is a sexy scar."

There was a moment of silence where they all stared at each other sleepily from their boxes.

"You know what might go really well with those shoes, Sirius?" Tonks asked suddenly.

"What?"

"Those yellow, sequined Siegfried Geminus tights."

Sirius's head snapped up and he turned to glare at Remus whose face was expressionless- except for the corners of his mouth which he couldn't stop from twitching.

"You told her about that?!?!"

"I was going to show her the picture."

"You son of a bitch!" Sirius said affectionately. "I can't believe you Moony…well I'm slightly reassured that at least she'll never see the actual picture of it though-"

"Why not?" Tonks asked curiously.

"Because Remus incidentally is also in that picture dressed as Charon Miller, the drummer of the Screaming Skulls." Sirius smirked.

Tonks turned immediately to stare in amazement at Remus who was unable to hide his smile now.

"NO WAY!" she exclaimed.

"Alas, it's true." Remus said in mock tones of embarrassment. "It was a costume party so all of us went as band mates from the Screaming Skulls."

"I want to see this picture!" Tonks shouted.

"No." Sirius and Remus said at the same time and then burst out laughing.

"Pleeeeeease?" Tonks begged.

"Now Tonks-" Sirius said steadily, wagging his finger in front of her face. "-it's hardly appropriate for young ladies such as yourself to see something like that- although Lily herself was dressed as….who was she again?"

Remus furrowed his brow as he thought about that for a moment. "Carna Henderson, I believe-popular female singer of her at that time." He turned to Tonks and added in knowing tone, "Sirius had a poster of her on his wall."

"I did not!" Sirius said loudly.

"Yes, you did."

"It wasn't me- maybe James…that's why he married Lily- I'm sure."

Remus leaned over to Tonks. "It was Sirius's poster." He whispered.

Tonks giggled.

"But that's right!" Sirius said, with a bark of laughter, not having noticed Remus and Tonks's conversation. "Lily was Carna Henderson that time and was carrying that riding crop."

"And that is another reason of why that picture is under lock and key- not only were we all completely smashed in it, but we are all dressed as 70's sex symbols. Imagine what Harry would think of us and his parents if he ever saw it."

"I think he'd appreciate it." Sirius said.

Remus shook his head. "He might want to jump off a broomstick and die as well."

"I think it provides an interesting portrait on what his parents were really like. The kid probably considers them demi-gods from what people tell him nowadays, something which NEITHER of them were."

"Especially James." Remus said.

"I was going to say Lily." Sirius grinned.

"Alright- so they both were too…."

"'Naughty' I suppose would be the word to use if you wanted to put it in polite terms." Sirius laughed.

Remus sighed and shook his head.

Sirius looked thoughtful. "You know, those tights really did cause quite a bit of trouble for me now that I think about it. I had a girlfriend; I forget her name now-"

"What a surprise." Remus said dryly.

"-and she was looking around for something at my place and came across the yellow tights. She thought I was seeing someone else, another girl-- so she threw a fit and I was too embarrassed to tell her that they were really mine- so I lied to her instead and said that I was seeing someone…she threw a toaster at me…and we broke up shortly after."

Tonks giggled.

Sirius leaned back, smiling reminiscently before a slight frown appeared on his face. "Something smells funny." he said, leaning over his box and sniffing the air closest to Tonks.

"Probably the tester perfume my friend let me borrow." She said. "It's vanilla scented."

"Vanilla? Vanilla is so plain." Sirius snorted.

"It has the reputation for being plain." Tonks said. "Doesn't mean it is though. At one time in history it was considered very unique."

"I prefer chocolate." Remus said.

"Moony, you'd eat anything if it was coated in chocolate."

"Probably."

"Ah-ha! You just admitted your kinky side!"

"What?"

"You said 'you'd eat anything coated in chocolate' which means-"

"Oh god." Remus said, rolling his eyes. "Get your mind out of the gutter, Sirius."

"Coated in chocolate…" Sirius snickered.

Remus buried his head in his hands, completely exasperated.

Tonks started laughing.

Sirius took another long swig of firewhiskey before asking Tonks, "So is there a bloke in your life now young Tonks?"

"No." she said airily as she took a swig of her own firewhiskey.

"Why?" Sirius asked, looking surprised.

"Because there just isn't one right now."

"You're twenty-two!"

"You're thirty-six."

"But you're not stuck in your parents' old house. What are my options? Buckbeak? The portrait of my Great-aunt Cassiopeia?"

"You won't be stuck in here forever."

"Sure." Sirius said gloomily.

Tonks turned to Remus. "Well what about you Professor?" she asked. "Is there a woman for you?"

Sirius started laughing loudly.

Remus felt his ears turn red. "No, there isn't."

She raised an eyebrow at Sirius. "What's so funny?" she asked coolly.

"The thought of Remus actually dating someone!"

"Well what's so funny about it?" Tonks asked him. "He's not stuck in a house, and he's a very nice man."

"I'm a werewolf Tonks." Remus gently reminded her.

"So?"

He was so taken aback by her unexpected reply he could only stare.

"What?" she asked. "There's got to be some women out there that don't mind your condition and see past it just to be with you."

"I'm afraid that I haven't encountered any woman that thinks like that yet." Remus said quietly. "Lycanthropy is a frightening prospect to put up with, and most women are quite sensible to seek their futures with someone else."

Tonks looked incredulously at him as if she couldn't believe that anyone in their right mind would think such a thing.

"Well, that's complete bollocks I think." she said. "You're so nice…"

He decided it was time for an immediate change in the conversation. "Thank you Nymphadora."

"TONKS!" she cried, before taking another long drink from her bottle of firewhiskey.

"We're old blokes now, Moony!" Sirius exclaimed in a drunken half sob, as he threw an arm around him. "We're going to die, and then we're going to die and become worm food- the worms will be crapping us all out in the soil and we'll become trees-"

"You are amazingly drunk right now." Remus smiled.

"But Tonks is right-" he said, shaking his arm roughly. "We're old. We're the male version of moth-ball smelling spinisters who knit bizarre tea cozies for their cats. No woman would ever pick us poor sods over someone younger and-"

"Oh, I prefer older men-more often than not." Tonks said with a wink in Remus's direction.

Halfway through a large sip of his whiskey, Remus gagged and ended up coughing most of it all over the place when he heard Tonks's words.

It was going to be a long night…

Several hours later with the filthy flooded water below, having risen a few more terrible inches, Remus was very cold and utterly exhausted. They had attempted to play several drinking games, an unsuccessful attempt of 'Eye spy' where all Tonks kept spying was a bottle of Firewhiskey and even tried singing a few more songs from the broken radio before Sirius bumped into a pile of stacked boxes and sent the radio smashing ontop of Remus's head. Now, after spending the past half hour trying to fix it, and with a pounding head-ache Remus was carefully setting it back ontop of the bookcase.

"I'm just saying it everyone else is thinking it-" Tonks said suddenly.

"Firewhiskey!" Sirius exclaimed.

Remus just shook his head.

"Come'on Moony-" Sirius said as he grabbed drunkenly onto the front of Remus's robes and pulling his friend into a half bow as he fell to his knees. "Wha'da ya thinking?"

"I'm thinking you've had way too much to drink." Remus said pulling his robes free of Sirius's grasp.

"That blue eyed bitch!" Sirius sang.

"-witch, Sirius!" Remus corrected him.

"She broke my fart-

She looked at me… and I lost my heart!"

"Close enough." Remus sighed as Tonks laughed hysterically and rather drunkenly.

Sirius fell forward onto the boxes and lay there humming the flattest version of the song that Remus had ever heard. Within seconds, Sirius was snoring.

Tonks grinned sleepily back at him from over at her box.

As his eyelids slowly fell and shut, he wondered what time it was. He wondered when help would come…or if it came…Order members occasionally didn't stop by the house for several days at a time. What if they were trapped down here and ended up going mad from the Firewhiskey and lack of food? Maybe he'd catch hypothermia and die. No, they'd probably all drown long before that…

"AGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Remus woke with a start, he had no idea just how long he had been sleeping, but he woke just in time as a red blur came smashing into him. Tonks had leaped from her box to his and nearly flattened him against the bookcase.

"Wha-?"

But Tonks was screaming hysterically as she clung to him. He looked down and let out a yelp of surprise at what he saw floating in the water.

Sirius had woken with a start like him and let out such a high-pitched scream, Remus winced.

A dead, half-rotting Puffskein was floating its way over to them, it's blank, grey eyes staring up at them and its once fuzzy body now resembled a moldy, half eaten block of swiss cheese.

The three of them all were squeezed on Remus's box and as the Puffskein suddenly turned direction in the water and began slowly drifting its way closer to them, they all screamed and desperately tried to scramble their way over eachother to get to Sirius's empty box.

Suddenly there was a creaking noise from the top of the stairs. "Is someone down here?"

Tonks screamed in reply. "HELPPPPPPPPP!!!!!!!!!!"

There were quick footsteps and Kingsley Shacklebolt appeared at the bottom of the stairs looking terrified. Upon seeing the three of them squeezed on Sirius's box in the flooded water, he began to laugh.

"KINGSLEY!" Tonks cried. "HELP US OUT!"

"How-on earth did- did you three-?"

"We'll answer it later, just help us get the hell out of here!"

A few eventful minutes went by as the three of them crossed to safety and managed to avoid the dead Puffskein.

Remus had never seen Kingsley laughing so hard. He all was all but wiping tears of mirth from his eyes as he climbed the stairs and they followed him into the entrance hall.

"Sirius," Remus said in his voice which was hoarser than usual from the screaming and all the firewhiskey. "You have a very feminine shriek."

"No, I don't." his friend growled.

"I just heard it too." Tonks said, looking very drained and disheveled. "It sounded ridiculous and if I wasn't suffering from a terrible hangover, I'd be taking the piss out of you right now. However, I'm going to get my wand, before some other freak disaster strikes us."

They all went into the kitchen together where Tonks checked the time, "Oh goody, just in time for work." she said grimly. "Why couldn't you have saved us later today Kingsley so that I wouldn't have to go?"

"Sorry," said Kinsley. "Next time I'll let you all drown instead. You're all very lucky I even came by; I was just dropping something off for Mad-Eye. I'm on my way out now actually."

"Cheers. I'll see you soon." Tonks said with a farewell wave to her fellow auror as he left the room. She yawned hugely and rubbed her eyes. "I'm making myself some coffee, I feel sick."

"I'll have some too." Sirius groaned.

"I'm going to make some tea." said Remus. His skull was pounding painfully something awful but he was determined to make the best of it.

"You and the blasted tea again." Tonks smiled.

"Nymphadora, you know I don't like coffee."

"My head hurts, and the sound of my first name just made the pain double."

"Well to me it just cleared up my head considerably. Nymphadora, Nymphadora…"

Tonks swore before going off into the pantry to find some coffee beans to grind.

Sirius looked at him closely before looking back to the pantry door, and then back to him again. "Were you just FLIRTING with my cousin there?"

"Of course not!" he said. "I was just teasing her about her name, it's just a joke we have- that's all, well now that I think about it, its not really teasing but-"

"Remus," Sirius said with a serious expression. "There's a name for that sort of behavior."

"Oh?" Remus asked curiously. "What is it?"

"Flirting." His friend said with a barklike laugh.

"DAMN!" Tonks exclaimed as she came back into the room. "There's none left."

"Shit." Sirius grumbled.

"Tea, anyone?" Remus asked holding up the kettle. He would have to think about what Sirius had said later when he was actually completely sober and his head didn't hurt like it did then.

"I'm going to go look for a remedy." Sirius said, as he quickly left the room.

"Probably another bottle of firewhiskey." Remus remarked drlyly.

Tonks sighed heavily. "I don't really want to stop him."

"Then I will. I can't afford to spend anymore time these days nursing my hung-over friend." He tapped the tea kettle with his wand and turned to go when Tonks's voice stopped him.

"Remus?"

"Yes?"

"Didn't the drummer Charon Miller, who you dressed up as for that costume party, used to wear lipstick?"

Remus smiled and tried to turn his head away but Tonks jumped in front of him, her dark eyes twinkling. "Didn't he?"

"I don't recall." Remus said lightly, but giving her the quickest of winks before he sidestepped her and started to walk up the stairs.

Tonks stared after him, her mouth hanging open in shock. It wasn't until he had reached the top of the stairs when she managed to recover her voice,

"I WANT TO SEE THAT PICTURE!!!!!!"

Tonks went to work that morning, trying her hardest not to look like a hungover zombie. Unfortunately several people at work did notice and asked why she was so tired which left her trying to come up with a decent excuse than the truth which was, "Oh, well I spent last night trapped in a basement with a convicted murderer and a werewolf." It sounded like the beginning of a joke or something.

At around noon, a long-awaited for package and letter came in for her at work and Tonks knew that she had to get back to Grimmauld Place that night to deliver it in person to the person it was truly for.

It was late when she left work and she was still exhausted from the night before but she bought herself a coffee and a copy of The Daily Prophet before she went over to Grimmauld Place. She was in the kitchen, drinking up the last of her coffee as she finished reading a Daily Prophet article about werewolves that she had somehow started and couldn't put down. She would go upstairs in a minute- she just wanted to finish it…

Moody suddenly clunked into the room and Tonks ignored him until she realized he had walked right up to her.

"We're learning self defense tonight." Moody growled.

Tonks looked up from her paper at that. "What are you talking about? No way."

Moody bristled. "Now see here Tonks- you're one of the few women in the Order and you're on the front lines a lot. Because you're a young female you have to learn defense that's fitting to your gender."

She frowned. "Mad-Eye, I went through this already in Auror training."

"You learned the 'polite' version." Moody snorted. "I'm talking about learning to quickly disarm an opponent and really take him down. The less accepted and more realistically common way."

"You mean the now illegal, Moody way."

"Exactly," he said, looking pleased that she had caught on so quickly.

"Well, who's going to teach me?" Tonks asked curiously.

"I am."

Tonks stared at him in horror as she felt her brain start to melt. It would be like fighting with a half-crazed, veteran grandfather.

"April Fools?" she asked weakly. "Please tell me that this is someone's idea of a very bad joke."

Moody's scarred and mutilated face turned itself into a frightening scowl. "Stand up."

"Wait! When are we starting?"

"Did you not hear me earlier, TONIGHT and NOW!"

This was utterly ridiculous. She nervously stood up wondering what on earth a 'self-defense' class with the craziest wizard alive was going to be like. But as crazy as he was, she had an enormous amount of respect for him and so she obeyed and stood up facing him, if not somewhat apprehensively. Moody obviously thought she needed instruction in self-defense and perhaps she might actually learn a thing or two from him…

"Gimme your wand."

"What?"

"You won't need it for today's lesson."

Tonks gulped. "As soon as you put down yours."

"What?"

"I'd prefer to be on an even footing I you please, constant vigilance- you know."

She thought he was going to be furious but to her surprise, his scarred face twisted into the smallest of smiles as he set down his wand on the table. His magical eye was watching it carefully though out of paranoia. "In a real fight you might not be on an even footing." He said.

"Yeah, okay."

"Now the first thing I am going to teach you- is what to do if a man tries to grab your shoulder from behind …"

An hour later, and with many bruises and bumps, Tonks was getting more and more irritated with the ex-auror who was constantly bellowing every mistake she was making.

"Have you EVER had a girlfriend?" she asked him angrily as she pulled free of his "attackers" grip.

He glared. "That is none of your business, young lady."

"Well you don't have one now and I can tell you why. No woman in her right mind would think this is romantic."

"It's not supposed to be!" Moody snarled.

"You need to get out more- go clubbing- I'm sure I could find SOMEONE your age that you could get along with. I have a couple of friends with good connections-"

"I'm not interested!" he bellowed, giving her a look that would have sent the entire Auror office running for cover.

"Sure you are." Tonks said. "You're a man just like anyone else. You just need get out more and fix some personal problems- hygiene, paranoia, bad language, rude behavior, perhaps investing in an eyepatch-"

"Cheeky girl." Moody spat- the venom in his voice would have killed a dragon.

"I don't understand what it is with men!" Tonks cried. "You're a man, you tell me! What is wrong with you all?"

"I don't have the slightest idea what you're talking about- nor do I care."

"What is it?" Tonks exclaimed. "With certain…MEN in the Order giving up with themselves at such an early age! You're not dead yet! There's still life in you!"

Moody stared hard at her with his normal eye and unless Tonks's own eyes were deceiving her- she saw a faint smirk spread across his scarred face.

"I imagine…" he said slowly. "That some particular MEN in the Order have more than one reason for remaining bachelors."

"Their stupid reasons, whatever they are." Tonks said huffily. "Why do you men even need reasons?"

"I imagine it's because we feel the need to come up with as many excuses as possible so that we won't get stuck having to date women like you." He retorted.

Tonks gaped at him. "Oh, that was LOW." she said.

"Politeness is not one of my renowned virtues, lass. Honesty is."

She gasped at his double insult. "You-"

"Watch your left side!" Moody bellowed. "What kind of an attack is that? You left your whole left side exposed! Put that foot back- no! The other one!"

But Tonks didn't care and kicked his leg in anger anyways.

Unfortunately she had forgotten which leg contained a wooden stump and it was with that her foot collided with. The wooden leg came right off, falling with a loud crash and rolling across the dusty floor.

"OW!" she screamed, hopping around on one foot while holding the other foot which felt like she had broken several of her toes. Meanwhile, Moody was having troubles of his own. Only having one leg to stand on, he spun about wildly trying to find his wooden one which was laying under the table a good three feet away from them.

The door opened and Bill Weasley walked inside carrying a bunch of papers under her arms.

"Dancing class?" he smiled, watching them spin about.

"Self defense!" Moody spat grabbing a chair for nearby support.

"Seems to be going well."

"Owwwww…" Tonks moaned, clutching her foot.

"Lesson one is over!" Moody snapped. "We'll do this again later, some other time. Now get my leg for me."

Tonks gingerly hobbled over on her injured foot and dutifully retrieved Moody's wooden leg and handed it back to him.

Moody fixed his leg, cursing and swearing as a pale-faced Remus Lupin walked into the room.

"Bill, here's another report from Sturgis that I forgot to give you earlier." He was saying. He stopped short as he saw Tonks. "Hello, Nymphadora."

"I am going to hex you into eternity if you say that again." She threatened.

He smiled anyways and handed the paper over to Bill before looking down at the newspaper that Tonks had been reading earlier. With a slight frown he picked up the paper and began reading it.

"I'll get in touch with you later to arrange our next lesson." Moody growled as he picked up his wand. "Keep practicing."

Tonks glared at him as he left the room and looked back at Bill who was searching the kitchen cupboards for something to eat and Remus who was so absorbed in the newspaper article he looked as if nothing else in the world could possibly disrupt him.

"You would have gotten along well with this bloke that came into Gringotts today Tonks." Bill said as he threw out a can of stale biscuits. "Had a multi-coloured Mohawk and about a million piercings."

"Tattoos?" she asked curiously.

"Several." Bill said. "I was going to give him your number."

"Haha, your so funny." she said as Bill went off into the back pantry to search for something edible. She looked over at Remus who was still intently reading the paper.

"So how about those Chudley Cannons?" she asked loudly.

He didn't even blink.

Tonks rolled her eyes, grabbed her wand from the table and poked the back of the newspaper with it. She poked far too hard however and ended up putting a wand-sized hole right through the paper.

"Oops." She said honestly as she pulled her wand back out.

Remus looked at the hole for a moment, gave her a half exasperated look and buried his head behind the paper again.

"I think I'll get a permanent tattoo of my own." She announced loudly.

Finally, Remus's eyes appeared over the top of the Daily Prophet. "Where?"

"I dunno. Someplace where you can't see it until you've searched around a bit." she said with a mischievous wink.

Remus blushed and quickly hid his burning face behind the paper with the large hole in it.

Tonks looked at him curiously. He was so cute when he got embarrassed. And why something like a tattoo should embarrass him made all the more adorable. He was such a gentleman. A rare thing these days.

"By the way, I meant to ask you- where is Sirius?"

"Brooding upstairs again I should think." Remus said thoughtfully, putting down the paper at last even though his face was still brilliantly pink. "He seems to be doing that an awful lot of it these days even when he isn't drunk. I think he's fallen into one of his dark moods again."

"I brought him a present." Tonks said, picking up her package and showing it to him.

Remus eyed the wrapped platter of cookies in her arms. "Very thoughtful."

"I didn't make them myself, but their still special."

He smiled. "Thank you for doing this."

She knew what he was talking about and nodded. "I'll be upstairs."

"Sirius?" Tonks said as she cautiously cracked open the old, heavy door and tried to peer inside.

"Come in." came the gloomy reply.

Tonks opened up the door the rest of the way to see Sirius crouched in the dark corner absentmindedly stroking Buckbeak's feathery neck.

With the dark shadows over his pale, gaunt face and his fathomless, deadened grey eyes he looked positively frightening.

"How are you?" she asked him as cheerfully as she could.

"Fine." He said coldly.

She bowed respectfully to Buckbeak who had been eyeing her suspiciously. He relaxed after that and bowed shortly to her, allowing her to approach.

"I brought you a present." She said holding out her platter of cookies.

Sirius said nothing. He didn't even look up at her. The purple shoes were long since gone.

"Mind if I sit here beside you?"

Sirius gave a non-committal shrug.

Tonks sat next to him and showed him the cookies. 'Look!" she said brightly. "My Mum made them- so they're actually half-way decent. I could never bake something like this- I tried to make a cake once and nearly burned the house down. Mum never let me back in the kitchen again." Her smile faded somewhat as she stared at her cousin's unmoved face. It was if he were carved of stone. She wondered if he was even hearing her.

She sat there, trying desperately to think of what to say next when to her surprise, Sirius spoke in a voice that was so soft and tired, it scared her worse than anything else could have.

"God, Tonks-" Sirius said quietly resting his head against the wall and shutting his eyes. "You have no idea how terrible it was. Thirteen years on a godforsaken hell hole. The wind and the cold- the cold…It was there all the time- an ever raging winter. It went deeper than skin level- it got sucked into the marrow of your bones- right into your very core. And the screams- the people inside the place screaming out their worse memories and moments before becoming the shells of the men they once were. Thirteen years…" he shuddered. "Thirteen long years…"

She decided that it was then the last bit of her present could be given. "You know," she said slowly. "I remember my Mum used to cry a lot after you were first arrested. She was so convinced of your innocence. She personally begged the Ministry to give you a fair trial she was so convinced of your innocence. She didn't care what others said. She was always one to dream even when the facts were laid clear in front of her- so I think she always inwardly believed you were innocent." She stared at her cousin's waxen, emotionless face. "That's got to count for something, doesn't it? One person out there believed you all that time and actually fought for you?"

He sighed, but said nothing.

"When I was little," she said quietly. "I was playing inside the house and wandered into the room my Mum never told me to go into. There wasn't anything dangerous in it or anything, but she had a few prized possessions in there that were very delicate. One of them was a black vase, with greyhounds on it."

Sirius said nothing, but she could tell he was listening.

"I still don't know how it happened, maybe it was the breeze from the open window, but at any rate it fell off the display table and shortly after I went in there to play. My Mum came in when she heard the noise and thought I had broken it. I told her I hadn't done it but she didn't believe me, neither did my Father when he got home from work and so I was punished and I spent the rest of the day crying in my room I was so miserable."

She wiggled her feet about on the dusty floor as she continued on. "And all I could think of was the injustice of it all. I knew it was my Mother's favorite vase and I felt terrible I had broken it. I thought she would never forgive me even though I was innocent. That's all I wanted was her forgiveness."

"We moved on from the broken vase disaster and although she said it was alright and my punishment was eventually lifted, I knew for awhile after that she was very upset."

"Recently," she said slowly. "I wrote her a letter and told her the whole story from my point of view again and asked that if she believed my side of the story, would she still forgive me, and if she didn't believe me, would she still forgive me anyways?"

She handed him her mother's letter without another word.

He stared up at the cracked ceiling for a moment longer before turning to look at her and gently took the letter and opened it staring at the curvy script,

'Nymphadora,

I have no idea why you sent me an owl but me and your father were pleased to hear from you. Perhaps you could drop by one of these days? I understand you're busy at work but it would be lovely to see you again.

Your question about the greyhound vase, of course I'd forgive you. I'd apologize too for ever accusing you. It's just that it was very suspicious circumstances at the time and my mind jumped to the only logical conclusion. But its all in the past now, isn't it? I've always said, 'Leave the past behind'. But I'm sorry that the vase was bothering you that badly. And yes, even if I didn't believe you, I would still forgive you.

Your father wants me to ask if you've found another boyfriend. He still hasn't quite recovered since you brought home, 'Leafboy' or whatever his name was.

Hope all is well and pop by whenever you can.

Hugs and kisses.

Mum'

Sirius stared at in silence for a long time. For a moment, Tonks saw a strange flicker of some deep emotion in his eyes and could have sworn that just for a second, a tear was starting to form in his eye. Sirius blinked however, and as quickly as she had seen it, it was gone. He wasn't obviously any more cheerful to say the least, but the deadened look in his eyes seem to have eased up a little.

"Who is 'Leafboy'?" he asked, looking down at the letter again.

She groaned. "Ugh, please let's not get started."

"Who was he?"

"His name was Carlos Elrond Earthchild. We met on the subway. He was one of my old boyfriends. He was a musician with long beaded hair and he was a killer bongo drum player."

"Ah."

"My Dad didn't like him very much, especially after he informed my dad that his past life was mostly that of a pond-dwelling red painted gorilla.

"What, were you desperate or something?"

"No. He was a very nice man. Very unique personality."

"Ah." Sirius said, the smallest of smiles spreading across his face.

She grinned. "Let's just say that all of his many outfits would have made Siegfried Geminus look completely ordinary."

Author's note: I still hate computers. A LOT.