Author's note: Who doesn't want a man like Remus Lupin? Omg- so sweet.

Incredibly retarded name for the chapter but I can't think of anything right now. Haha.

Tonks's incident in this chapter is based off a real life situation…that happened to…somebody I know. Not the author of course- sheesh, as if! ;) But sadly there was no Wemus to help me. Tonks is soooo lucky…

Chapter Ten- Chef Remus to the Rescue!

Tonks woke out of her deep slumber with an unexpected start. As soon as she had, she wished she hadn't. Her head was pounding, her throat was on fire and her nose was dripping like a leaky faucet.

With an angry groan she rolled over again, pulling her warm blanket closer around her.

Knock. Knock. Knock.

Her eyes snapped open. Someone was at her front door.

Bastard. She thought angrily as she got up and walked to the front door, still awkwardly wrapped up in her enormous blanket.

She reached the door and pulled it open abruptly. "What do you want?" she asked nastily before taking in who it was.

Remus Lupin was standing there on her front doorstep, wearing the nice blue jumper she had given him for Christmas and looking extremely nervous and apprehensive.

And suddenly, it hit her. It was March 10th. Remus's birthday.

"Oh my god!" she cried. "What time is it?"

"Er- a little after seven." Remus said, looking very worried.

Tonks ran a hand desperately through her hair, her morphing abilities always as good as non-existent when she was sick. She knew that standing there in the front doorstep, with her disheveled mousy brown hair, her red nose and wrapped up in her blanket like a giant caterpillar she was hardly looking her best. But it was all unimportant at the moment.

"Oh no." she groaned. "I'm so sorry Remus, I fell asleep earlier and I just- well, here- come inside for a moment- I'll get ready in ten minutes- no! Less than that! Just hold on-"

"We could always postpone it." Remus said, looking at her closely. "You look miserable."

"Its just a little cold." She lied.

Remus stepped inside and his nose wrinkled.

"What's that smell?" he asked curiously.

Tonks sniffed the air warily, and due to her blocked nose, smelt nothing. "What smell?" she asked hoping against hope it wasn't her. She hadn't put on any deodorant that morning.

"That smell…" Remus said, peering around her blanket bulk as he tried to deduct the smell. "It smells like something's burning."

Tonks stared at him for a moment before the slap of realization and the wave of horror hit her.

"OH SHIT!" she cried, turning on the spot and running towards the kitchen. She smashed into the coffee table and fell over; she abandoned her blanket bulk and ran down the hall and into her kitchen where her eyes met a smoky inferno.

"My soup!" she wailed. The pot of soup she had put on hours ago was now a ball of fire. In a panic she grabbed a dishtowel and began beating at the fire in a lousy attempt to put it out.

All she succeeded in doing was having her dishtowel catch on fire.

As she waved the fiery towel about frantically she realized that the pot of soup which was billowing out copious amounts of black smoke was still bubbling.

Completely panicking now, she grabbed 'Macbeth's Spots-Be-Gone' kitchen detergent and poured it onto the fire.

With a loud 'whump' the fire turned a vivid purple and grew about five times its original size.

Tonks ran to the shelves and began opening cupboards. A row of dishes fell onto the floor and shattered. A large sack of Bertie Botts every flavor beans split and poured down on her in a waterfall of colour. The bag of flour exploded in a white cloud above her. She began throwing some fallen dry pasta at the fire, hoping the fire would turn its attention to cooking the pasta rather than devouring her kitchen.

The attempt failed, the fire was not so easily distracted. It began spitting the red-hot pasta back at her. As she ducked one fiery piece she slipped on some spilled milk and fell flat on the floor.

Above her the black, foaming soup began dripping down the sides of the counter. Tonks leaped up and grabbed the handle of one of the drawers. She pulled out the spoons and began catching the dripping toxic soup with them to stop it from dripping on her floor.

Suddenly, right when Tonks was starting to fear she would have to use the tea cups- the blazing fire and foamy soup disappeared along with the thick black cloud that was filling the kitchen.

Tonks turned to see her savior, Remus standing in the doorway, wand out looking at her with a smile that was obviously threatening to crack into hysterical laughter.

"What on earth were you doing?" he asked, eyes twinkling.

Tonks straightened up, her pink pajamas wet from the milk and spotted black from the spitting soup. She bushed her brown hair (laced with flour) out of her sweaty face. "My soup burnt." She said huffily.

Remus bit his lip for a few seconds- struggling to keep control. Then he burst out laughing.

Tonks refrained from laughing, trying to look indignant as she stood there in the messy kitchen, flour all over the floor and walls, silverware spilled all over the countertop, Bertie Botts beans and pasta pieces in all four corners, the spilled milk and detergent had somehow pooled together on the floor and some neon orange bubbles were bouncing across the floor now from that puddle.

"You- were-trying to stop- it with- spoons!" Remus managed to choke out as he held onto the counter for support.

She screwed up her face trying hard to hide her smile and then she too began laughing with him.

They stood there laughing for quite some time before their sides ached and they were gasping for breath.

Tonks sneezed (painfully) and it seemed to bring Remus back to his usual serious self again. He walked over to her, carefully through the no-mans land of broken dishes, beans, spoons and other kitchen shrapnel. He wrapped his arms around her and held her close. Tonks barely had time to react before he kissed her gently on the forehead. "Get back to bed." He said kindly, "I'll clean up."

Tonks shook her head sending a small shower of flour around her shoulders. How she wished she could stand like this forever. She sneezed again before saying, "No, its my mess. I'll clean it up." It was hard to breath now and it wasn't from her sickness.

Remus smiled, and she wondered if he could feel her heart give a thrilled flutter. "You? The auror who burned soup and then tried to stop the fire by throwing pasta at it?"

"Don't rub it in." Tonks said, leaning forward to rest her head on the front of his warm jumper.

Remus ran his hand through her hair and nearly got it caught in a sticky clump of spilled jelly. "You go ahead and sleep. Sometimes a helping hand goes a long way."

"But your birthday!" Tonks exclaimed. "We were going to go out for a drink."

"Don't think twice on it. We'll celebrate it when you're feeling better again. There's no point in going out like this when you're so sick."

Tonks sighed, too weary to protest at this point.

"Come'on Remus insisted. "I'll take care of it."

Seeing as she wasn't complaining, he lifted her chin so that he could look closely into her pale, heart-shaped face.

"You win." Tonks said with a smile.

"Good." Remus said and much to her disappointment, he let go of her and began to gently lead her away.

Suddenly a sharp pain pierced her foot and she let out a small scream- grabbing onto Remus's shoulder for support.

"What's wrong?" Remus asked, looking immediately tense and worried.

She lifted up her foot and turned it to see a small white piece of a broken plate deeply embedded in the bottom of her foot.

"Where are you slippers?" Remus asked, sounding like a concerned mother.

"Who are you? Molly Weasley?" Tonks winced, as she hobbled about unsteadily. "I left them in my room I think."

"Here lean on me till we get out- no, don't." Remus said. "With any luck you'll end up with another shard in your other foot if you trying walking out of here."

"Then what do you propose we do, Healer Lupin?" Tonks laughed.

Remus examined the distance to safety with his eyes and then turned back to face Tonks. "Put your arms around my neck, I'll carry you."

Tonks turned slightly pink but without any hesitation threw her arms around Remus before he was properly ready.

"Oops! Sorry!" she squealed.

"Don't worry about it," Remus said leaning forward suddenly and scooped her up.

Tonks giggled and put her arms (with more caution) around his neck as he began to carry her from the kitchen. "You are a good and noble man, Sir Remus."

Remus laughed and he looked as though he were several years younger. "You really should remember your slippers in the future."

Tonks threw back her head and let out an exasperated sigh at the same time Remus was passing through the doorframe.

Her head hit the hard wooden doorframe with a terrifically loud 'THUNK' and Tonks saw stars flashing for a moment.

"Tonks!" Remus exclaimed.

"I'm alright." Tonks muttered. "Mild concussion that's all."

Looking only slightly reassured that she was alright, Remus continued to carry her. "Merlin's beard Tonks you're just an accident waiting to happen! First you almost blow up your house, then you step on a broken shard, and then you give yourself a head injury- what next?"

"You're the one carrying me." Tonks pointed out.

"Well one could argue that, yes, but I wasn't expecting you to throw back your head like that when you did."

"Oh come'on Remus, haven't you learned anything by being in the Order?" she teased. ""Constant Vigilance! CONSTANT VIGILIANCE!"

Remus started laughing again and Tonks felt her heart leap. Remus carried her all the way over to her couch in the living room and carefully laid her down on it.

"Is it real bad?" Tonks asked nervously as Remus examined her foot which was now hurting her considerably.

"It's certainly not good." Remus admitted as he inspected it. Tonks hoped he wouldn't notice her pink and orange toenails, or the spots she missed shaving her legs.

If he did, he didn't seem to care. "It's going to have to come out. It might hurt a bit but hold onto-"

"WAIT!" Tonks exclaimed. "You're going to pull it out NOW?!?!?"

Remus looked up at her in confusion. "As opposed to later? The sooner the better." He began rolling up his sleeves in a business like manner.

Tonks couldn't repress a nervous shudder and she grabbed a nearby pillow with sweaty hands and squeezed it tightly to her chest.

Remus was smiling. "Are you going to tell me that the auror who is terrified of little, innocent birds is now also nervous about a tiny piece of glass?"

"That's not true! Birds are really quite- HEY!" Tonks yelled as Remus pulled the bloody shard from out of her foot. "You distracted me on purpose!"

"Yes, I did." Remus said, sounding rather amused.

She watched him as Remus used his wand to mend her foot. "Birds are quite scary you know."

"Oh, simply terrifying."

"They are! Their beady little eyes, their inhuman expressions-"

"Horrific."

"Well they are!" she said indignantly. "For me at least…that was probably the reason I wasn't a Gryffindor. I didn't have the courage."

He looked up at her. "You were a Hufflepuff correct?"

"Yes, I know-" Tonks said, rolling her eyes. "The house for all the prats who couldn't fit in anywhere else."

"That's not true."

"Well, it has the reputation of being so."

"If I remember correctly from some of my books in History of Magic, they said Helga Hufflepuff was particularly famous for her dexterity at food-related Charms."

"Oh, ha. Ha. Ha. Wipe that smirk off your face Professor." Tonks said bleakly. "I guess I got into Hufflepuff then for my ability to make noses that resembles a badger, not my cooking skills."

"Hufflepuffs are hardworking, loyal and determined." Remus pointed out. "All of those qualities you fit exceptionally."

She couldn't help from smiling. "Thanks."

He stood up, "I'm going to get some ice for that head of yours. Do you want any soup? Real soup, I mean that isn't on fire or burning down the house-"

"You don't have to make me soup or anything."

"You're sick."

She couldn't really argue that point. "Well…"

"I'll be right back." He smiled, as he fixed the overturned coffee table and left the room.

As soon as he had left the room, Tonks leaped to her feet and began tidying the place as fast as she could. The dirty laundry was shoved under the sofa or into the corner. The bowl of old popcorn was pushed into a closet that was bulging with so much junk, she couldn't get it to close. The books, papers and magazines were squeezed into a side desk that made an ominous cracking noise when she finally managed to shove everything into it. She could do nothing about the spilled bottle of ink or the large hole in the carpet where her wand had burned a hole into once by accident when she dropped it there.

She grabbed her enormous puffy blanket from the floor and leaped back onto the sofa, waiting for Remus. She probably looked terrible. She screwed up her eyes, determined to make a change in her appearance but it was rather useless. When she opened her eyes, Remus was walking back into the room carrying a small bag of ice with a dishcloth wrapped around it.

"Sorry I look like this." she said with a gesture to herself.

"Why on earth are you apologizing for being sick? You look just fine." He said as he handed the ice to her.

"No pink hair today, on your birthday no less. I'm sure you're disappointed."

"I still think grey suited you best."

She rolled her eyes. "You and the bloody grey. Why not dye your hair blue or something? Go wild. I mean ,since you have more grey hair than my own father-"

"What?" Remus asked sharply.

"There's nothing wrong with that." Tonks laughed as she saw his horrified expression. "My point is, you should live it up a little. You looked so good in pink last time-"

"I think you do enough strange things with your hair for the both of us."

"Oh, so now my hair is strange?"

"It's a good type of strange."

She laughed. "Oh by the way, the jumper looks nice on you."

"I was going to thank you again for it earlier."

"Out of curiosity, what did you do with the tweed one?"

"I kept it." Remus admitted. "And I still wear it most of the time, but this jumper looks so nice, I've decided to wear it for special occasions."

"Good." Tonks said. "I'm glad you like it, oh! Have you seen Sirius yet?"

"Yes, I saw him earlier."

"And do I dare ask you what he got you for your birthday?"

Remus hesitated. "It wasn't exactly…appropriate."

"Oh." She grinned. "Did it have anything to do with the opposite sex?"

"I think he picked it out for me with you in mind." Remus said, his ears rather pink.

She managed to fight back her laughter. "Well, while we're on the subject of Sirius, I meant to tell you- I have the most brilliant April Fools Day joke ever laid out for him. He'll hate me forever."

Remus looked at her in surprise. "That good?"

"Worthy of Marauderdom if I do say so myself."

"What is it?" he asked curiously.

She shook her head happily and giggled. "I can't tell you. That'll ruin it. But its VERY good."

"Any props I can help with?"

"Such a nice, caring friend you are to him…but no. No props needed for this one."

He stared at her for a moment a smile playing on his lips. "I'm dying to know what it is."

"I bet you are. Sorry Professor, you'll just have to wait for the rest of the month. This is top secret it is."

'Not even a hint?" he asked.

"Nope." She said smugly.

She laughed outright at the look of disappointment on his face.

He stood up with a faint smile, "I'm going to go check your soup."

"If you want anything to eat, feel free to raid my kitchen!" she said before an unexpected sneeze caused her to reach for the box of tissues on the floor.

She spent a few miserable minutes on the couch, sniffling and sneezing until Remus came back carrying a small tray with soup, some biscuits, and a glass of water.

"You even gave me a napkin." Tonks said as she stared in surprise at the tray before her. "A folded one…"

He smiled. "Is that a problem?"

"No!" she exclaimed. "It's so thoughtful! Thank you."

"If I had known how easy to please you were with folded napkins I wouldn't have bought you a Christmas present." Remus chuckled.

"I love my present though." Tonks said. "Even if it of a feathery little devil-"

She realized quickly that she was much hungrier than she thought, the chicken soup was delicious and her stomach quite empty.

"Here have a biscuit, your making me feel like a pig." Tonks said as she slapped one into his hand. "So tell me, what were you doing for Dumbledore these past few months?"

His prematurely lined face grew dark for a moment, before he said as lightly as he could, "I was trying to find a few specific locations for a group of…people who have possibly allied themselves with Voldemort."

"Werewolves?" she asked bluntly.

He looked at her closely for a moment and then nodded. "Yes. A few months ago, Dumbledore was considering having me work as a spy for the Order by infiltrating the small ranks of werewolves that were starting to form."

She couldn't stop herself from gasping. "Please tell me you said no?" she whispered.

"Well I didn't say no, exactly but I did point out how impossible it would be to find and successfully infiltrate a pack. I felt my skills for the Order could be better served elsewhere."

"And did Dumbledore agree with you?"

"To a point." Remus said slowly. "I think he wishes me to at least attempt to spy on them, which to a degree I've been working on."

"But you haven't actually-?"

"I haven't confronted any werewolf straight on, but I've been doing a lot of research such as tracking their movements and the trying to follow the formation of several probable packs that could be helping Voldemort."

"Are there any werewolves in London that support Voldemort?" she asked as she finished draining the soup.

He nodded slowly. "After the past two months, I am nearly positive there is. And I think I know where they may be hiding."

She looked at him suspiciously. "And your not going to go do something stupid like try to infiltrate and spy on them, are you?"

"Of course not." He said. "Even Dumbledore as much as he wants a spy, realizes the impossibility of the mission being successful and so I'll just continue to do as much as I can without any actual physical undertaking."

Feeling reassured by this news Tonks snuggled up against him as best she could in her enormous blanket. He looked surprised at first but put an arm around her and held her close as he wrapped an arm protectively around her. Tonks wondered if he knew what he meant to her. He saved her from stairs, burning soup, little birds- how could anybody ever think that Remus Lupin was only a 'dangerous half-breed'? He was the most noble, sweetest man she had ever met.

Before she knew it, her eyelids had grown too heavy to keep open and she had fallen asleep with Remus's arm around her.

When Tonks woke, she found herself sprawled on the couch with the blanket twisted around her and Remus nowhere to be seen. She looked about the empty room before getting up and waddling over with her blanket bulk towards the kitchen. Tonks peeked around the corner to see Remus turned away from her, sitting at her kitchen counter with a cup of steaming tea in front of him. The kitchen was now spotless and the radio was on- some opera was playing.

"Whatcha listening to?" she asked.

Remus's head whipped around to look at her. "Tonks! How are you? Feeling better?"

But she gasped. "OH MY GOD."

"Nymphadora- please, its fine."

"NO! No it isn't!" she cried rushing up to him. "Did I do this?"

He hesitated. "Yes."

She covered her mouth with her hands in horror.

"Nymphadora," Remus said firmly as he gently took hold of her hands. "It's really quite alright."

"I hit you in my sleep! I gave you a black eye!"

Remus appeared to be on the verge of laughter. "And attempted to strangle me at one point."

"NO!"

"But the best was when you were inches away from my face and shouting about how you didn't like trying to cross the street with a pogo stick. That was my favorite."

"I should've warned you, I'm so sorry Remus."

"That you sleep like an octopus?"

"Yes…"

"And babble nonsense at the top of your lungs?"

"That too-"

"Surprisingly, I managed to figure it out myself within the first half hour of you falling asleep."

"How long have I been sleeping?!?!"

"A few hours now."

"And how long were you there?"

He sighed. "My patience wore thin I'm sorry to say and with my ability to breath becoming increasingly restricted because of the tight chokehold, I left about two hours after you fell asleep."

"I am soooooooo sorry." Tonks groaned as she fell into the chair beside him. "And your eye?"

"I've dealt with worse injuries before." He said gently. "This one is hardly worth a second glance."

"I feel terrible." Tonks said. "I mean, I don't always do that. I used to do it a lot when I was little, talking in my sleep and such- but every once in awhile it happens again."

"It was rather amusing."

"Some birthday celebration." Tonks grumbled. "I end up sick, I nearly burn down my flat, I cut my foot open, I strangled and hit you after you made me some lovely soup and we have not gone out for a single drink or had cake."

"Don't worry about it." Remus said firmly.

She shook her head. "So…What is this rubbish?" she asked with a nod towards the radio.

Remus looked at it again before answering. "Muggle opera."

Tonks rolled her eyes. "Typical."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Well you're the type of bloke that listens to that sort of stuff, aren't you? I should have guessed-"

"And what type of bloke am I?" Remus smiled.

"The quiet, serious, rather-bookish-on-first-glance type."

"Is that so?" Remus asked, looking slightly surprised.

"The best type of guys." Tonks said. "There aren't enough of you out there."

Remus laughed. "I can believe it- we're the ones that are too dull for the rest of the world to bother with."

"Or the ones that everybody was too stupid to recognize how perfect they were until it was too late for them." Tonks said.

Remus frowned slightly at her words but stood up and asked her politely, "Would you like some tea?"

"Sure."

He went over to the stove and Tonks sat there listening to the male tenor singing out loudly on the radio. "So Professor, what's it about?"

"Please Tonks, call me Remus or I will be forced to start calling you Nymphadora again."

Tonks shuddered in mock disgust. "Fine- then, what's it about?"

"The opera?"

"Yeah."

Remus listened to it for a moment and sighed. "It's called: La Boheme. It's a rather famous opera. It follows the love lives of several different characters but focuses mostly on the relationship of Rodolfo, a poor, penniless poet and his frail seamstress neighbor, Mimi. They fall in love-" he paused listening to the radio again- "and proclaim it in this duet actually…'O soave fanciulla' it's called-"

Tonks listened as the music reached a heart-swelling crescendo.

"It's beautiful." She conceded.

"Yes, it is." Remus said. "It was one of my father's favorite operas." He picked up the tea kettle and tapped it with his wand, and some steam started to spout from the kettle.

"Well?" Tonks demanded. "What happens to them?"

"Who?"

"Rodolfo and Mimi?"

"A few months later in the winter, they break up, Mimi is upset and confused and it is revealed that Rodolfo pulled away from her because he knows she is very ill and close to death. He believes that his poverty will kill her and he hopes she'll find someone else wealthier that can give her proper care."

"But that's stupid!" Tonks exclaimed. "She's dying and he's sending her away?!?!?"

"Yes." Remus said. "Rodolfo thinks he's doing the right thing for them both."

"That is so stupid. What's she dying of?"

"Tuberculosis."

"And then what happens?"

"Mimi when she overhears his reasoning demands that Rodolfo leave her. Then in the spring- long after the two have said goodbye- Mimi comes back to Rodolfo and Marcello's place, she's dying." Remus poured the water into the mug and added the teabag in- handing it to Tonks. "The two of them remember how they first met and fell in love and then she dies shortly after."

"She dies?" Tonks cried. "After all that- she just dies!?!?"

"It's not the happiest of operas."

"That's depressing!"

Remus shrugged and Tonks immediately grabbed hold of the radio knob and began searching for her usual station she listened to. After a moment of searching and getting past some radio waves she found the WWN Top hits which was playing a song from The Weird Sisters.

"Now, this is good music."

"Nymphadora, this isn't music- it's a bloody racket."

Tonks stuck out her tongue at him and raised the volume.

Remus listened to it for a moment, a half-smile on his face. "You can't even understand what they're saying."

"Au contraire monsieur. Your opera isn't even in ENGLISH."

"La Boheme is actually sung in Italian- not French."

Tonks ribbed him affectionately. "Oh shut up and stop trying to impress me with your unsuppressed brilliance."

"You know me. I can't miss the chance."

Tonks looked at the time and groaned. "Well, since I've botched up the day enough as it were, I'll try to rectify it. Hold on a minute."

Before Remus could open his mouth she padded her way out of the kitchen and ran into the back of the flat where she grabbed something and ran back to the kitchen.

"Tonks, what did you-?" Remus stopped short as he stared at the object in her hands. "What is that?"

"Your birthday hat." She grinned. "I made it myself."

"That much is obvious."

"Hey…"

Perhaps Remus had a point though. It was without a doubt the strangest birthday hat ever created. Not only was it tall and flashy, it had bright pomp-pom balls that were charmed to light up and she had added lots of tinsel and ribbons that were exploding from every side of it.

"It even plays music." Tonks said eagerly. "Look-" she pressed a small pin she had bought and attached to the back of the hat and immediately realized she should have tested it earlier.

Both her and Remus winced as the music came blasting so loudly, Tonks was amazed the windows didn't crack. Whatever song it was- it wasn't happy birthday. It sounded like a muggle airplane taking off and nails being dragged across a chalkboard.

"Alright." Tonks said, as soon as she pressed the button again to turn it off. "So the music on the hat is faulty. Sorry about that. The truth is I really didn't want to sing you 'Happy Birthday' because I have the worst singing voice in the world."

"You have a lovely singing voice." Remus said, but upon receiving a skeptical look from her, smiled a little. "Alright, maybe it could use a little improvement."

"At least you're honest." Tonks said cheerfully. "And you know that I will never sing your bloody opera, 'La Bottom'-"

"'La Boheme', Tonks."

"Whatever. Medieval culture is weird."

" 'La Boheme' was written in 1896 the late Victorian age-"

"Shut up. Well, put on your hat and then we can eat the lovely cake that I bought. Yes, I'm admitting I bought it. You saw how good I am at making soup, I don't think a cake would be within the realm of possibility. But it's a very good one. Chocolate."

"Excellent." Remus said briskly. "Shall we sit here then at your counter?"

"Sure." Tonks said as she slapped on the birthday hat.

"There's a lot of pink on this hat." he remarked.

"It would be a tragedy if there wasn't any." Tonks said.

"Can I help?"

"No, sit down."

"I'd like to-"

"I'm sure you'd like to but you already saved me from the soup and cleaned up my entire kitchen. I'm in debt to you."

Tonks brought out the small chocolate cake she had bought at a muggle pastry shop a few blocks down. She looked at it critically for a moment and then groaned.

"What's wrong?"

"I should've checked this more carefully."

"Why?"

She held the cake up so that he could see the icing inscription.

" 'Happy Birthday Reemas'" he read. "Well I've gotten worse spellings then that. This one is actually pretty close for a mis-spelling."

"WHY does NOTHING ever go the way I plan it to?" Tonks said in exasperation. "I spelled it out for the woman for god's sake. R-e-m-u-s! How bloody difficult is it?"

Remus was laughing as she angrily started stabbing the cake with the candles she had bought.

"So," she said. "How many candles go on this cake Professor?"

"Can't we just put one candle on it and just have it represent all my years?" Remus asked looking rather pained as he watched Tonks add more and more candles to it.

She kept her back turned to him until she finished and turned around to display the cake.

"Ha ha." He said, trying to appear angry but failing miserably as Tonks noticed the corners of his mouth were twitching, a sure sign that he was fighting back laughter.

She had covered the cake with as many candles as possible. It probably had about 100 candles on it.

"Hold on, let me light it and then we can sing." Tonks said grabbing her wand from the counter.

Remus leaped to his feet looking slightly frightened. "Tonks! I think this might be a very bad-"

Tonks murmered the simple spell under her breath to light the candles on fire and screamed as flames shot out from the end of her wand and engulfed the entire cake.

"-idea!" Remus finished as he grabbed the dishtowel by the sing and began fanning the cake furiously to put the fire out.

Tonks went to put out the flames with her wand and when the smoke had cleared they stared at the gloopy, ash covered cake before them.

There was a long, awkward silence.

Tonks looked over slowly at Remus who turned to look at her at the same time, he was biting his lip.

Remus cracked first. He doubled over roaring with laughter before Tonks joined him, all but screaming with mirth.

They ended up falling onto the kitchen floor, laughing. The whole thing was so ridiculous and so stupid-

Tonks rolled over to Remus who was resting up against the counters, wiping tears from his eyes.

"I'm sorry."

But Remus turned to her and shook his head. "Don't be."

Tonks despite being sick, and having a terrible cold gave him a quick kiss on the lips. He looked very surprised but smiled.

"If I get sick in a few days, all thanks to you-"

"It'll just be the icing on the cake." Tonks said rolling her eyes.

"What cake?" Remus added with a nod to the dripping mess on top of the counter.

She swatted his shoulder. "You know what I mean."

"I do." He said gently, as he helped her up.

Tonks flopped onto one of the counter chairs and poked the mess of cake with her finger as Remus sat down beside her.

"I love how everything goes wrong when I want it to go right just for once." Tonks grumbled. "This has got to be the worst birthday party I've ever thrown."

Remus took a sip of tea and smiled at her from over his mug. "On the contrary, I think this is the best one that I've ever had."

Authors note: Righto, here's the deal. I think I jinxed myself. Fate is now working against me. The computer broke this weekend so I couldn't use it, and now I find out that I have to go on a trip on Friday that goes till Sunday. Basically, I'm screwed. But I'm going to keep plowing on and see how much I can get up here before I decide what my next step will be.