Author's note: Alrightey- here comes the pivotal point of the story. Come'on- you've all read the books- you knew it was going to happen sooner or later.
This chapter is the one that ties in the closest to the actual book, as you read it you'll see why. It's pretty obvious but whatever, its an important one. For details, I've read chapters 34-36 in OOTP so much I think I've just about memorized them.
And I luv how Voldemort and his Death Eaters are defeated by Harry Potter and his teenage friends time and time again. 50 million Death Eaters vs. Harry and several of his fellow friends. Who wins? Of course, Harry and his mates! I hate the Harry Potter movies (Sry, but I do-mostly cuz of the way most of the characters are portrayed) but they really crack me up because the one spell everybody uses is 'Expelliamus'. Like seriously, what the hell? Everybody freakin uses it. Is there no originality in the Wizarding world according to Warner Brothers?
Whatever, here's the chapter-
Chapter Eleven- Padfoot's Departure
"Alright Mad-Eye, its your turn."
"I'll do no such thing."
"Come'on-" Tonks whined. "Stop being such a poor sport."
"NO!" he snarled.
"Fine, I'll go again." She sighed. "I spy something with my little eye something that is…brown…no! Blue."
She watched him hopefully as he continued to eat his sloppy looking sandwich he had made himself. Some of the mayonnaise was dripping down the sides and Tonks watched in disgust as some of it slid down his chin and onto his robes.
"Well?" she asked him.
"Well, what?"
"The game!" she said impatiently. "What's the object that I picked out?""
"Why would I care?"
"Because that's how the game works!" Tonks exclaimed throwing her arms into the air with exasperation. "And you already have the advantage of having a magical eye!"
"It's pointless." Moody said through a mouthful of chewed up sandwich. "Now leave me alone so that I can eat my dinner in relative peace."
"There's nothing to do." Tonks complained.
He glared at her with his real, dark beady eye. The magical one was pointing up towards the ceiling. "Tonks, do me a favor."
"What?"
"Get out or shut up."
Tonks stood up abruptly. "Why does everyone around here treat me like a child?" she asked angrily.
"Because you act like one." Moody said smoothly. "Now bugger off."
Tonks glared at him before stomping out of the room and into the hallway where she slowly (and much more quietly) began to ascend the stairs.
A child! They still thought of her as a child after all this time. How did she act childish? She'd be coming up on a year soon- a whole year in the Order! She hadn't blown her cover in the Ministry, she'd been on some rather dangerous missions like last month's fiasco with tracking Malfoy and several others, and most importantly, she wasn't dead. She thought that it was a very good start.
She had reached the top of the stairs when she ran into her dark-haired cousin who was coming from one of the side rooms- a bunch of cloth and bandages in his arms.
"What's all that for?" she asked him.
"Buckbeak." Sirius said. "He's injured."
"Injured?" Tonks frowned. "How?"
Sirius shook his head. "I don't know. It's really quite strange. He must have cut his wing on something because its bleeding- but I have no idea how it happened."
"Is he alright?"
"Terrified actually. I haven't seen him this worked up before."
She eyed the cloths and wraps in his arms. "I could get you some tartan bandages if you wanted."
His head snapped up and he glared at her. "Ha. Ha. Ha."
She snorted. "It was funny."
"I won't ever forgive you for that." Sirius said angrily.
She screwed up her face, thinking hard.
"Don't you-"
"Mr. Black!" she said sharply, opening her eyes. "Come back here so I can hold you in my arms once again!"
"Get away from-"
"I'll never forget you! That kiss we shared! That precious moment! Kiss me again!"
"You're sick." Sirius snarled, jumping back from her outstretched arms.
"Come to Professor McGonagall-"
"I hate you."
"It was the best April Fools joke ever! You should have seen your face when I threw my arms around you and professed my undying love-"
"I almost pissed myself in shock."
Tonks laughed and closed her eyes again to turn herself back into her normal appearance that she preferred. "It was bloody brilliant; you have to admit that. Or at least give me points for creativity and original thoughtfulness."
He glowered but she noticed the smallest flicker of a genuine smile. His grey eyes were even twinkling. "Alight, it wasn't bad-"
"HA!" Tonks crowed gleefully, throwing an arm around her cousin in an ecstatic hug. "I knew it! I knew you thought it was good!"
"I'm just saying that because if I wasn't part of the joke and was just an onlooker, it would have been pretty good. I mean- God, I thought Moony was going to kiss the hell out of you right there on the spot for pulling that one off. I hadn't seen him that excited over a prank in years."
"Pity he didn't." she said immediately before she could stop herself.
Sirius wagged his eyebrows, looking suddenly very sly. "Well," he said with an air of false casualness about him. "There's always the future."
The pretend ease did not go unnoticed by her. "Are we talking about a near future?"
"Perhaps." He said coolly. "Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go take care of Buckbeak before he does any more damage to himself. I'm thinking for sure now he must have hurt himself on something in my Mother's room. Never trust my family, or our entire family tree for that matter-"
"Our family wreath-" Tonks interrupted. "There's no tree, but a wreath. What with all the inner marriages and stuff."
Sirius looked at her and burst out laughing. "Young Tonks, you are the best."
"Does that mean I get a new broom now?" she asked hopefully.
"Sorry, still not that special enough." He grinned as he ducked the wild blow she threw at him.
She turned to head into one of the side rooms, but Sirius made a noise of protest.
"Bad idea." He said. "Something went off in there earlier, think it was an old dungbomb from the Weasley twins but I'm not sure."
"Oh, thanks." She said. "Do you want me to come with you then and help?"
"No, no no." he said hurriedly. "Why don't you go in the study for now or something?"
The look was a little too innocent. Tonks slowly started to smile… "Alright." She said finally. "I'll go in the study. Unless there's a dungbomb in there too?"
He shook his head. "Not that I'm aware of."
She turned to the study door. "Alright."
"Good luck." He said, and she could have sworn he gave her the smallest of winks before turning and heading down the landing.
She watched him leave before she walked into the room and stopped short. Remus Lupin was sitting there on the sofa, with an enormous book in his arms.
"Oh." She said. "Sorry, I didn't mean to bother you."
"No, it's alright." Remus said hoarsely as he looked up from his book.
She turned her head slightly to read the title of the book, "'Persecution of the bestial, violent, half-breeds'. Sounds lovely."
"It's rather amusing to read. It was written back during the middle ages." Remus said, staring closely at her.
"Oh."
Remus set his book aside. "What's wrong?"
"Nothing."
"Something is bothering you."
"Fine. Something is. How did you know?"
"I'm afraid to admit that Snape had a point that day when he said you have Sirius's hot temper." Remus said with a small smile. "It shows even when you try to hide it."
Tonks smiled back reluctantly.
Remus moved over so that she could sit down on the sofa next to him. "Do you want to talk about it?"
She hesitated. "It's…a bit weird."
He looked as if he could wait forever for her to tell him what she wanted to. She took a deep breath and walked over to the couch, giving the side table with a large vase next to it a wide berth. She flopped down and tried to organize her scattered thoughts. "It's just…people still think I'm childish. I know that I have a silly, bubbly personality and I do stupid, clumsy things sometimes….but it feels like that's the reason I stick out from everybody else. Even people like Bill and Kingsley seem to fit right in here. I'm different from them- but I'm very serious about the work I do and am just as determined as they are..." She trailed off thinking hard. "I dunno. I still don't fit in no matter how hard I try. Everyone is so much older and experienced here and some of them are the best wizards of our time. How can I possibly compete with that?"
"Why do you feel you have to?"
She looked at him in surprise. "Well, I'm in the Order."
"That doesn't mean anything." He said firmly. "Tonks, listen to me. You are an amazing young witch and you are…perfect just the way you are."
She rolled her eyes. "I can change my appearance at will, Remus."
"No, I didn't mean your appearance. I meant your personality." He said softly.
She stared at him. She had never gotten that before. It had always seemed that people, (meaning men) couldn't understand why her personality didn't change with her appearance. Most men she had dated in the past typically found her irritating after they discovered how she had no intention of being their arm candy. And here before her, for the first time was a man who was looking at her perfect her personality was rather than how many different shades of eye color she could create or what cup size bra she could fit into.
"Oh." She said quietly. "Thanks. That really means a lot to me…."
He smiled. "Your welcome."
She looked at him for a minute, her thoughts racing.
"I don't get it!" she finally exclaimed.
"Get what?"
"Why do we get along so well? You see and understand me perfectly, and I could be wrong but I think I understand you pretty well too."
He frowned. "Tonks, what do you see in me?"
"A brave and chivalrous man whose been hurt by other people who treat him like he isn't human just because of a monthly condition."
He opened his mouth in surprise and stared at her for a moment. "I'm…touched." he said finally.
You will be. Tonks thought wickedly. As soon as you let down your guard I'm going to be all over you so fast-
She forced herself to answer him. "It's true though." she said. "You've suffered so much prejudice and with you being such a kind person, I'm amazed you haven't broke under it all already. But that's why you're such a strong person. You just take the blows that life gives you and keep going. Do you have any idea how few people can do that Remus?"
He shook his head. "I've learned to keep going out of necessity-"
"And you're humble!" Tonks exclaimed. "You are such a wonderful man and I don't even think you realize it sometimes."
She scooted closer next to him on the sofa. "But as I was saying, we get along so well even though we're so different. I'm sure you might've guessed by now, but despite all our differences I've never quite felt the way I do around you with anybody else. Even though you listen to opera, wear tweed, you prefer chocolate-"
"You listen to pop, you wear strange t-shirts and like vanilla over chocolate." Remus smiled. "All little, insignificant things to be sure."
"Personality wise too though." She pointed out. "I'm obnoxious, loud and annoying and your-"
"Mild-mannered, quiet, and rather dull." Remus finished for her. "That is true."
She frowned. "So why do we get along so well?"
He opened his mouth and paused, looking as if he were on the verge of saying something. He shook his head. "I don't know." He said gently. "But I'm not complaining."
"Nor I." she said with a smile.
And without the aid of alcohol, I am going to do this. Tonks thought in a determined sort of way. What if he gets up and leaves? What if I'm just being too bold-No, I've been waiting for Remus bloody Lupin for months now.
What if he hates me? Don't be stupid, of course he doesn't-he said you had a great personality or whatever and he thought you were 'charming' at one time. He kissed you on Christmas- remember? And he saved your kitchen from burning down?
Yeah, but we were both kinda smashed on Christmas. She thought gloomily. And there was that time on the stairs where he started to kiss me and pulled away-
Well than this is the way to find out, isn't it? Kiss him, and if he doesn't kiss you back, you'll know he doesn't actually fancy you.
He said he did on Christmas.
Yeah, well you were all pretty drunk- he could've been saying it just to not hurt your feelings.
It was now or never. You have nothing to loose…
Actually, you have a lot. Your pride, your dignity, your reputation, your friendship-
Tonks leaned forward and kissed Remus Lupin on the lips. She closed her eyes as she did so and waited for him to kiss her back.
He didn't move.
She pulled away quickly and turned away. "Right." She said quickly, feeling upset and embarrassed. "Well, I'd better be off. You know-"
But suddenly she felt his hand on the side of her face and she turned to look at him.
To her shock, he was laughing softly. "Sorry," he said. "I was so fascinated with watching you think for the past minute, I wasn't ready."
Tonks barely had time to register proper surprise before he leaned forward and kissed her.
"I'm going to kill you." She said angrily when the broke apart.
"Well, I hope not right now. You see I've wanted to kiss you in relative peace for some time and it seems unfair that you would like to kill me now after such a long wait."
Her mouth dropped in shock. "Really?"
He smiled. "Really."
And after a mere few seconds of some more kissing Remus Lupin, Tonks decided death wasn't really necessary.
Sirius strode into the dark, room where the old ex-auror was attempting to finish off a messy sandwich. "Buckbeak's alright. He got injured somehow, but he's fine now with the exception of being a little sore." He sat down in a stiff-backed chair facing Moody and grinned. "So, how did you get her out of the kitchen?"
"Told her to go and leave me alone so I could eat my sandwich in piece."
"Why're you eating it in here then?"
"Your damned house-elf kicked me out and I decided it would be more comfortable to eat dinner up here."
"Kreacher kicked you out?" Sirius frowned. "Why? What was he doing?"
"He was starting to clean from the look of it."
Sirius let out an incredulous snort. "That piece of filth hasn't cleaned a bit of this house in years."
Moody shrugged and brushed the crumbs off his robes.
Sirius smiled. "I convinced Tonks that a Dungbomb had gone off in a room so if she wanted to sit somewhere that was safe she'd best go into the study. Dunno if she was completely convinced but she went in there anyways."
"How did you get Lupin in there?" Moody asked with a lopsided grin.
"I had him in there earlier. I lied and said there was a funny book on werewolves that he should read."
"Good one."
"Thanks."
A loud smash from the upstairs room caused them both to stare up at the ceiling.
"Er-" Sirius said with a suggestive smile, "I guess it's going pretty well then."
Moody's magical eye flickered up to the ceiling for a moment. "She just knocked over a vase by accident with her foot but they don't seem too bothered by it- too busy-" he shook his head, looking disgusted. The glimpse of two people taking the time to do something enjoyable like kissing was apparently too much for him to bear.
Sirius looked at Moody thoughtfully, "Handy having a magical eye then?"
"Trust me." Moody growled. "There're times I wish I was completely blind instead, so that I wouldn't have to see some things... Like during that Christmas party during the first Order, when I walked in on you and Marlene McKinnon in the living room-"
Sirius threw back his head, and laughed.
"Remus! Tonks!"
They both jumped in surprise- and Tonks rolled off the couch with a small scream as she hit the floor.
"Get out here you two- now."
They looked at each other. Something was wrong. Sirius normally would have come bursting in the room if he had known they were in there- to embarrass and ridicule them, laughing all the while. But then he sounded tense and anxious from behind the door.
"We'll be right there." Remus said.
Sirius's footsteps receded quickly down the hallway.
Tonks frowned. "Do you think this has anything to do with the Order."
"Possibly." Remus said quietly. This can't be good, whatever it is.
Tonks smiled slyly at him. "We always seem to get interrupted at times like this, don't we?"
She was perfectly right. Right when he had lost resistance and forgotten about being a werewolf and his miserable situation in life, something happened where reality (usually in the form of Sirius) was struck hard upon him. He sat up and straightened his robes the best he could- Tonks crawled over and helped him button the top ones that had somehow come undone during the time they had spent on the couch.
"You need to fix this one-" Tonks said, fingering the loose top button gently. "It's coming loose."
"I'm afraid my sewing skills are as bad as your cooking skills." Remus admitted.
Tonks grinned and started to fix herself up. "Come'on Professor."
"Right behind you Nymphadora."
She laughed as she stood up from the floor, "Let's go." She said cheerfully.
"Not even a slap or a reminder that it's Tonks." Remus said in surprise. "I seem to be making progress."
She turned around and slapped him lightly. "Don't flatter yourself too quickly."
They headed downstairs together. As they walked into the empty entrance hall, Remus spied Kreacher curled up against the slightly open kitchen door. He seemed to be shaking with barely suppressed silent laughter.
"Kreacher, is everyone downstairs?"
But the house-elf could only continue laughing silently to himself. Remus turned to Tonks who gave him a confused look as they headed downstairs into the kitchen.
Sirius, Moody and Kingsley were standing there talking quietly amongst themselves. The grim look on everyone's faces was Remus's indication that something had gone terribly wrong.
"What's going on?" he asked sharply.
"It's Harry." Sirius said.
Remus felt the blood drain from his face. "What do you mean? Where is he? What's wrong?"
"He's at the Department of Mysteries, in the Ministry."
Dear god, how does Harry always end up in situations like this? Remus wondered. "How?" he asked hoarsely.
"He thinks Sirius is there," Moody said. "Snape just sent another message along-"
"Snape?" Tonks asked in confusion.
"He sent a message earlier to see if Sirius was here at Grimmauld Place." Kingsley said. "And he just sent another one telling us Harry and several other students are missing. They've gone to rescue Sirius."
Moody swore under his breath.
"But surely…" Tonks said hurriedly. "Harry would have checked in to see if Sirius was here himself before racing off to the Ministry?"
"You might think so." Sirius said. "But he hasn't."
"What about the mirror you gave him?" Remus asked his friend.
The others turned to stare at them both but neither Remus or Sirius bothered to explain at that moment.
"No. He hasn't contacted me on that either." Sirius said. "I tried to get in contact with him, but he doesn't seem to have it on him."
"What mirror?" Tonks asked.
"A safe method of communication." Remus explained quickly as he saw Moody open his mouth to start asking questions. "So now he's gone to the Department of Mysteries because he thinks Sirius is there?"
"Yes."
"But why? Why would he think Sirius is there?"
"We have no idea." Kingsley said in his deep, slow voice.
Remus ran a hand through his graying hair. "We have to go. We have to get him back."
"That's what I've been saying all along." Sirius said with an irritated look at Moody and Kingsley. "We're wasting time."
"Snape left a message for someone to stay behind to tell Dumbledore what's going on when he gets here." Kingsley said.
Remus turned to look at Sirius who was staring defiantly at them all now and realized what the issue was.
"Sirius…" he said gently.
"I'm not staying." Sirius said loudly.
"If Snape suggested that you stay-"
"He suggested." His dark haired friend snarled. "Well he can suggest all he likes-"
"Let me grab my wand, I left it upstairs- hold on." Tonks said suddenly as she sprinted out of the room.
They followed her upstairs and waited for a moment in the entrance hall. Sirius was apparently still in the kitchen.
Tonks came quickly down the stairs and nearly tripped on the bottom. Remus who had expected this caught her at the foot of the stairs and helped straighten her up.
"Thanks." She said breathlessly. "Shall we go?"
Moody opened the door and they followed him outside into the dark night.
They were all outside the front door when suddenly Remus noticed Sirius was with them standing behind Tonks and Kingsley.
"Sirius! What do you think you're doing? You can't come!"
"I'm going Remus and you can't stop me. I've got Kreacher to tell the message to Dumbledore when he gets here."
"Sirius-I won't let you come." Remus said sternly and grabbed hold of his friend to bring him back inside.
"Let go of me!" Sirius bellowed, jerking away from him.
"Dumbledore has told you-"
"To hell with Dumbledore and if you think I'm going to listen to a word Snivellus said you must be deranged or something."
"Sirius! Please! Listen to me-"
"James's son is out there in danger of being murdered by the same man who murdered his parents, and do you think I'm going to sit here and wait around until he dies as well?!?!" Sirius roared.
The other members of the Order were watching them in stunned silence. Tonks was staring at them both, wide-eyed.
Remus knew then what had to be done. Looking into Sirius's furious, blazing grey eyes, he understood what Sirius was going through at last. Sirius inwardly, would never stop blaming himself for James and Lily's death. Being named Harry's godfather was enough for him to dedicate all of his surviving loyalty to their orphaned son. Through protecting Harry, Sirius felt he was redeeming himself somewhat. And now in a time of peril he was going to save Harry no matter what the cost not only because he felt he owed it to his dead friends, but because he truly loved and cared about his godson. And the few people that Sirius truly loved were the ones he felt sworn to protect.
Even though it was reckless and irrational of Sirius to do such a thing, Remus knew that it was more from love of Harry than his own usual rashness that was propelling Sirius to do what he was.
Remus nodded. "Alright-" he said softly, letting go of his friend. "You can come."
"I wasn't asking for your permission." Sirius sneered. "I'd have gone with or without it."
But Remus knew as well as Sirius did that without Remus siding with him- he would most likely have to stay, being forced by the rest of the Order. Sirius never would thank him but Remus knew deep down, his friend appreciated it.
"Lupin-" Moody said in his gravelly voice, limping up to him. "Might I point out that we are following Dumbledore's orders because that is what we have sworn to do, and acting on selfish impulse-"
"We need people to fight." Remus said firmly.
Moody stared at him with both eyes, before looking over at Sirius who was standing there, stony faced and resilient.
He nodded, his magical eye swiveling about. "Alright then…let's go."
The Ministry of Magic was dark, quiet and completely empty when they apparated there and Remus thought the setting couldn't be more fitting. They took the golden lift down to the ninth floor, the quickest way to the Department of Mysteries. None of them said anything to break the eerie silence.
The doors opened, "Department of Mysteries" said the cool, female voice as they climbed out.
Remus and Sirius were the last ones to walk out of the lift.
"So you and Tonks were together." Sirius said his voice had no joking tone in it- he sounded grim as if he were stating a fact. His face looked strained from the situation at hand.
Tonks was in the lead now- saying something to Moody.
"Yes, we were."
"Do you see what I was on about? Faint heart never won fair lady."
"I'm not fainted hearted."
"You doubt yourself too much. That's your problem- you're more than capable of putting effort into a relationship with Tonks- you're just too afraid of failure and heartbreak. Don't be a coward like I was with love, Remus you'll only regret it in the end."
Remus said nothing as they continued quickly down the dark corridor towards the solitary door at the end of it, not knowing that that would be the last piece of advice his friend would ever give him.
"This is it!" Tonks exclaimed as she ran pushed open the plain, dark door.
They followed her inside and stood there in the center of a dark, circular room with blue, flamed candles that were set in between dark doors that surrounded the room. As soon as Kingsley, the last person in the group stepped inside and shut the door- the walls began to make a strange noise and Remus saw the candles on the wall slowly starting to revolve around them. The doors and blue candles became a spinning blur as the circular wall picked up speed and then suddenly, it all stopped.
"Where do we go?" Tonks whispered.
Sirius stared at the surrounding doors, a furious look on his face. "We could split up-"
"Bad idea." Moody said immediately.
Sirius rounded on him. "Then how the HELL are we supposed to find Harry and the others? There's probably a one in twelve chance now that we-"
And suddenly a loud scream of pain came from one of the doors that was to their right.
Sirius sprinted to the door, Remus right behind him, as he flung it open and ran inside.
Through the door was a large rectangular room. Tiered, stone benches surrounded a large dais in the middle where an old, veiled archway stood. And there on the dais, surrounded by Death Eaters, was Harry-ready to hand over a small glowing object into Lucius Malfoy's outstretched hand.
Tonks was the first to send down a stunning spell but Malfoy deflected it just in time as the other Death Eaters realized the arrival of the Order.
As Remus raced down the steps, he saw Harry run over to the crumpled figure of another boy lying on the dais. Neville Longbottom seemed to be shouting to Harry over the flashes of the spells and so with that knowledge that at the moment, both boys were safe, Remus rushed at two of the nearby Death Eaters and began to duel.
In the dimly lit room, flashes from curses and spells filled the air as the Order dueled the many Death Eaters. Tonks sent a stunning spell down on the dark haired woman whom she was dueling with. She had recognized Bellatrix without any hesitation but she wondered if her aunt knew it was her.
She quickly found out.
"So nice to see you after all these years!" Bellatrix laughed as she deflected Tonks's spell.
Tonks was determined to ignore her as she sent down another spell.
"Allied yourself on the wrong side of the family! But hardly unexpected with your mudblood loving Mummy-"
"YOU SHUT UP ABOUT MY MUM!" Tonks yelled as she threw another spell at her Aunt. In her rage she had forgotten she was ignoring Bellatrix's insults.
Bellatrix deflated it with a truly wicked grin. "My poor dirty-blooded little niece, didn't your father ever teach you not to play with magic?"
Tonks grit her teeth as she threw another spell at her. Bellatrix sent one up at the same time. They collided in midair and ricocheted off into the air around them.
"Your Auntie Bella is more knowledgeable in the ways of magic than you dearie. You should stop now before she decides not to give you a Christmas present for next year." Bellatrix said in a mocking baby-talk voice.
"After fourteen years of waiting for one- I hardly expect one now." Tonks laughed just as coldly as her aunt.
"STUPEFY!" Bellatrix screeched.
Tonks sent up a shield charm just in time. She raised her wand, ready to strike again when she took a step backwards to brace herself.
She had forgotten that the stone bench was right behind her, she stumbled- but managed to stop herself from falling.
Unfortunately, it was all the time Bellatrix needed to send over another spell. With a wicked smile and an almost mad look in her eyes she raised her wand high above her head, and brought it down in a sharp arc in front of her-
Tonks didn't have any time to defend herself- the jet of bright blue light hit her straight on before she could even lift her wand arm.
There was a burst of pain, a flash of white before her eyes- and then…nothing.
Remus ducked as the Death Eater in front of him sent over another curse- as he had hoped it went right over him and hit the Death Eater that was behind Remus and dueling Kingsley.
He jumped to his feet and sent over a stunning spell at the obviously startled Death Eater- it hit him straight over and he fell over.
He turned around, and in that fraction of a second, time seemed to have slowed down to a complete crawl as the breath left his lungs entirely.
Tonks…
He stared at her limp form toppling down the stone benches from across the room-
She isn't! She couldn't be-
The word that he had struggled not to think of that entire night came falling down upon him with full force like a heavy weight. The likelihood had hung heavy in the air since they had first left Grimmauld Place, but facing an actual possibility was too much-
No!
He snapped out of his numb shock and ran forward, the loud noises and flashes of spells around him utterly meaningless.
She isn't- she isn't- don't say it- don't even think it- she can't be-
For the first time since meeting her, Remus was unable to catch Tonks from falling down the stairs. As he ran forward he suddenly caught sight of Lucius Malfoy, his wand raised before the two young boys before him.
He threw himself between them. "Harry, round up the others and GO!" he shouted before confronting Malfoy.
Remus only partly aware that he was dueling Malfoy, his thoughts were all on Tonks.
She can't be… she can't be- she's probably just stunned. She isn't-
He blocked Malfoy's spell, barely aware of what was going on.
Focus, she'll be fine-
He sent over a stunning spell as he heard a yell behind him.
Lucius Malfoy blocked the spell but his eyes widened as he seemed to catch sight of somebody behind Remus- he started to run away but was suddenly pulled backwards by an invisible line towards the middle of the room where several other Death Eaters were standing. Remus turned around. Dumbledore was standing there, his wand out. Remus let out a sigh of relief as he watched the Death Eaters be rounded up.
Harry was safe, the Death Eaters were captured and-
Suddenly a loud, barklike laugh filled the room.
"Come'on, you can do better than that!" came a familiar voice from the dais behind him.
Remus turned around to see the red beam of light from Bellatrix Lestrange's wand hit his best friend right in the chest. In that split second, Remus felt as if he had been hit too-
Sirius started to fall backwards, surprise in his grey eyes despite the smile that was still lingering upon his pale, gaunt face. For the second time that night, time slowed to a terrible crawl as Remus stood there and helplessly watched his friend fall through the veiled archway.
The tattered, black veil whipped about wildly as if it were caught in a high wind and then fell gently back into place- Sirius was gone.
Remus could only stand there, staring at the spot his best friend had been moments ago. He couldn't move, he couldn't think- everything seemed to have stopped. He didn't even hear Bellatrix's triumphant scream that rang through the large room.
"SIRIUS! SIRIUS!"
It was Harry's voice that pulled Remus back to his senses. He turned to see the horrified boy sprinting towards the dais. Without even clearly thinking he grabbed the boy around the chest and held him back tightly.
"There's nothing you can do Harry." His voice and mind seemed to be working mechanically.
"Get him, save him, he's only just gone through!"
"It's too late Harry-"
"We can still reach him-" Harry started to struggle hard and viciously with him.
Remus held onto him more tightly. "There's nothing you can do, Harry…nothing…He's gone."
"He hasn't gone!" Harry yelled as he continued to fight him. "Sirius! Sirius!"
Why was he being so calm about this? The urge to release Harry and run through the archway himself after his friend was so overwhelming, he forced himself to hold on all the more tighter to Harry. Don't think about it- don't think about it-There was no time for emotion in war-especially not in a place like this- "He can't come back, Harry. He can't come back because he's d-"
"HE-IS-NOT-DEAD!" Harry roared. "SIRIUS!"
Though it was difficult to contain Harry, Remus managed to drag him away from the dais- the bursting and flashing of spells still continuing around them. Behind them Remus was just barely aware that Kingsley had rushed forward to fight Bellatrix.
Remus saw Neville Longbottom who was dancing at the bottom of the stairs and his legs performing a mad, out of control tap dance.
"Harry? Harry I'b really sorry. Was dat man- was Sirius Black a- a friend of yours?" said Neville. Remus still kept a firm grip on Harry's arm even though he had stopped struggling. Harry nodded in response to Neville's question- his eyes blank.
"Here." said Remus quietly. "Finite." Neville stopped dancing with the counter-spell. Remus forced himself to think of the current situation and not to think of what had just happened. "Let's-let's find the others. Where are they all Neville?" He couldn't look at the archway behind him. He couldn't. To do so would bring all of the truth crashing down upon him and he didn't think he would be able to take it this time.
"Dey're back dere, A brain addacked Ron bud I dink he's all righd- and Herbione's unconscious, bud we could feel a bulse-"
There was a sudden loud bang and a yell from the dais. Remus spun around, forgetting his vow not to look at the dais and saw Kingsley falling to the ground, yelling in pain. Bellatrix was now running up the stone steps as Dumbledore spun around to throw a spell at her. She deflected it and kept running-
Suddenly Remus felt Harry rip away from his slackened grip.
"Harry- no!" Remus cried.
But Harry was already chasing after Bellatrix. "SHE KILLED SIRIUS!" he bellowed. "SHE KILLED HIM- I'LL KILL HER!"
He began scrambling up the stone benches.
"HARRY!" Remus shouted. No Harry! No! Not Harry too! Please not Harry!
He was vaguely aware that his own feet were chasing after Harry's. He reached the top of the steps and ran through the doorway where Harry had just gone. Upon racing into the room- he nearly slipped on the slimy green floor flooded with some foul potion. He was in a large rectangular room with an overturned tank in the middle. He started to run forward again when he felt himself pulled back by someone.
It was Dumbledore. "See to the rest of the students, Remus." He said firmly.
"But Harry-"
"I'm going now." Dumbledore said. "He will be fine."
Remus stared into Dumbledore's light blue eyes for a moment and then nodded. Dumbledore released Remus's arm and swiftly ran on ahead.
Suddenly his shaky knees gave out from under him, with a shuddering gasp he gripped onto the overhead tank to keep from falling down.
He couldn't snap. Not like last time with James and Lily…he had to stay strong…he had to keep going. There were other people that were relying on him to stay strong.
"Professor Lupin?"
He peered into the corner where he saw the outlines of four teenage students. With a deep breath he quickly walked over. As he drew nearer he recognized the boy who was attempting to peel what looked like brain tentacles from off his arms. "Ronald!"
The red-haired boy looked up at him blankly, a silly smile on his face. "Professor Lupin-haha, how did you get here?"
He looked over at the others Luna Lovegood and Hermione Granger were unconscious, Ginny Weasley was sitting upright though and holding her ankle, looking pained.
"Ginny, is this everyone?"
"Neville's missing." She said. "And I just saw Harry run by-"
"Dumbledore's with him. Besides Neville, is there anyone else?"
She shook her head.
"Are you-"
"I think my ankle's broken. But Ron-"
Remus looked at the red haired boy who was giggling feebly on the ground. "I'll do what I can." He said. "But I'm sure the Healers will be able to take care of you all a little better when they arrive."
"What's going on?" Ginny asked. "I heard fighting."
"A few members from the Order of the Phoenix arrived and there was duel with the Death Eaters. Their all safely tied up now."
"What about the prophecy?"
He had forgotten the small glowing object in the whole scheme of everything else. "I have no idea." He confessed. "But I know the Death Eaters don't have it."
Ginny looked at him closely. "Are you alright Professor?"
He nodded and forced himself to started working on taking as many brain tentacles as he could off of Ron, making a small splint for Ginny's ankle and bringing a more bewildered looking than usual Luna Lovegood back to consciousness before he turned to Hermione.
"What was she hit with?"
Neville had come up and joined them in the past few minutes. Remus had mended his nose the best he could.
"I don't know. The man just brought his wand across-"
"There they are!"
Remus leaped to his feet, his wand out as a group of people walked into the room. Bright robed Ministry officials and Emergency Healers walked in. Quickly realizing that they were there to help, Remus lowered his wand and allowed the Healers to come up to the kids.
"Dumbledore has insisted that these students be brought back to Hogwarts as soon as possible." said one blonde haired Healer.
Luna and Neville helped Ginny to her feet as some of the officials came to closely examine a still brain-damaged Ron and an unconscious Hermione.
From the door that lead into the Death Chamber another group of Healers and officals came walking through. Two of them were carrying a stretcher where a familiar young woman lay on it.
"Tonks!" Remus cried. He had almost forgotten the pink-haired witch in the light of everything else. He sprinted forward and stood there, by Tonks's side staring down at her.
"She's going to be alright we think." Said one of the nearby wizards looking up at him. "But we need to bring her to St. Mungo' immediately. We're not sure with what she was hit with."
Remus held onto Tonks's small, pale hand as if wishing he could heal her just by holding it as tight as possible. Her hand was very cold.
"You can accompany us if you wish."
"Yes, yes I would like to."
He didn't let go of her hand the whole way up through the Ministry. On the way out of the Department of Mysteries he ran into Kingsley and Moody whose head was covered in bloody bandages.
"I'm going with Tonks to St. Mungo's." he told them as they passed by.
Kingsley nodded. "I'll tell Dumbledore."
They both watched him go, looking grave. Remus turned to Tonks who was still lying quite still.
I won't let you die…your not going to die…don't die…
Remus sat there outside the door, waiting. He had been waiting for hours. He hadn't been thinking of anything. He just focused on breathing and not thinking at all. When his thoughts did start to wander, he directed them towards mindless things such as the pattern of floor tiles or the portrait of the landscape that was hanging on the wall across from him.
"Excuse me sir-" said an assistant Healer who had checked on him periodically since he first arrived. "Might I suggest going home and getting some rest? Getting some food, perhaps?"
Remus stared up at the Healer who took an unconscious step backwards as she saw the look of pain in his eyes.
"No thank you." He said quietly.
"Would you like a cup of tea or something?"
He shook his head. "I'm fine."
She bit her lip looking nervous before heading off.
He was exhausted, he was frightened and he was still fighting off the overwhelming pain in his heart that was clinging onto him like some sort of terrible parasite.
Whether minutes or hours passed- Remus didn't know. Time was meaningless now.
"Sir…?" said a voice nearby.
Remus looked up to see a young, handsome looking Healer with standing there, a clipboard in hand. He stood up.
"Healer James Rodale." He said shaking his hand. "Your daughter's going to be alright."
Remus frowned slightly at the healers words, "She's not my daughter…she's my-" he paused trying to think of what him and Tonks's relationship was at that point. He decided to play it safe. "She's my friend." He said quietly.
"Oh. Of course." The healer said with a nod. "Sorry about that."
Remus's lips twitched into the smallest of smiles. "It's fine."
"She's still out, but she's going to be fine. We're expecting her to wake up in a day or two...there's no permanent damage fortunately. You can go in and see her if you want."
He thanked the Healer before walking over to the door and hesitated, his hand on the knob. With a deep breath he turned the handle and pushed his way inside.
Tonks was lying there, still unconscious but she seemed a little less pale than she had been in the Ministry. Her hair despite everything, was still a bright pink.
He walked over to the side of her bed and pulled up an empty wooden chair that was nearby. Remus sat there and for a moment could only stare numbly at her. Her breathing was steady, she looked as if she were just sleeping….
Just sleeping…He shuddered involuntarily. He still remembered two friends, a husband and a wife that he had had to arrange funerals for on his own and he still remembered how they looked as if they were 'still sleeping' when the coffin lids closed down on them.
He reached over and gently caressed the side of Tonks's face. Her skin wasn't as cold as it had been earlier. He let out a sigh of relief and sat there watching her.
She was very brave and as he looked at her he thought of how young she was to be doing what she had already. He thought about what Sirius was going to say when he told him that the Healer had thought Tonks was his daughter.
Suddenly he remembered what had happened. Sirius wasn't going to say anything. He was gone. The raw and terrible pain came flooding to him and he forced himself to push it away but it was too late. All of the contained misery came crashing down upon him right there by Tonks's bedside.
Remus put his head in his shaking hands trying to control himself. Tears fell down his face as he silently wept for his dead friend.
Defiant.
Sirius had always been defiant. He had defied his family, defied authority, and defined everything that came into his path. Remus had once thought when they were still at school together, that if there was a way for Sirius to go, he'd be laughing defiantly in the face of death up to his final, last seconds on earth.
How right he had been.
He spent the next day and a half by Tonks's bedside. A few people came by to see Tonks including some members of the Order such as Kingsley, Bill Weasley and Mad-Eye Moody who talked to Remus about what was going on with the Ministry's new reaction to Voldemort's return. Tonks had also received a few flowers from friends and co-workers that had heard about her accident.
One small vase of flowers caught Remus's attention when he saw it was only addressed 'To: Tonks. Get well soon'
He flipped over the small card to see who had sent it and when there was no signature to be seen he stared at the plant for a moment. It seemed like just some plain tulips but Remus remembered the incident with Boderick Bode and the Devil's Snare. When no one was looking, he took the tulips and put them in a cleaning closet down the hall. He shoved the small card into his trouser pocket.
On re-entering Tonks's room he stopped short in the doorway. A man and a dark, red haired woman were sitting by her bed holding hands.
The woman looked up at Remus's arrival and he almost gasped. The smoothily pale, almost arrogant looking face was very similar to her sister's Bellatrix.
"Hullo." She said with a rather watery smile which contrasted sharply with her elegant features. "Healer Rodale told us there might be someone else here."
"I'm sorry." He said. "I didn't mean to intrude, I'll leave."
"No, no." she said, standing up. "Please stay for a moment." She stuck out her hand. "I'm Andromeda Tonks and this is my husband, Ted."
Remus shook her hand and turned to Ted who shook his hand with a rather forced smile.
"My name is Remus Lupin." He said quietly. "I'm a…friend of Nymphadora's."
Andromeda Tonks wiped away another tear. "Were you there?" she asked him. "Did you see what happened?"
He could not bring himself to tell Andromeda that her sister was the one responsible for Tonks's being there. Nor could he lie.
"I was there." He said. "Tonks was fighting a Death Eater. I didn't see entirely what happened but I did see her falling down the steps."
Andromeda's face was chalk white. Ted put an arm around her shoulder to comfort her.
"She never could keep her balance on stairs." Andromeda said with a faint smile. It sounded as if it were taking her a lot of effort to keep her voice steady. "She's rather clumsy, as I'm sure you know."
He nodded.
Ted Tonks pulled up another chair with his wand. "Sit down." He said kindly. "I'm sure we have a lot to talk about."
Remus took a seat beside them, the tight, painful feeling in his chest having loosened somewhat…
Remus was half-asleep, his head on his chest. Ted and Andromeda Tonks had left a few hours ago and it was quite late. He was on the verge of falling into a deep sleep himself when-
"Remus…?"
His head snapped up and he saw Tonks looking up at him, her eyes rather bleary looking.
"Wotcher." she said weakly. "You look like shit…the full moon's not for another two weeks, either…" she looked at him closely. "What's wrong?"
"I'm just tired." Remus said quietly.
She stared at him and sat up a little. "Something happened at the Ministry, didn't it?"
He wondered how she could have known that just from the sound of his voice- and he thought he had concealed whatever emotion was brewing inside him so well too.
He considered lying…but he couldn't. She would find out eventually. He opened his mouth but no sound came from it.
As the seconds lengthened, her eyes widened suddenly. "It's Sirius isn't it?"
He nodded slowly.
She stared at him and the silence continued to grow between them. Finally, she shut her eyes and turned her head to the side. "Who killed him?"
"Bellatrix Lestrange."
He saw a tear squeeze itself from under her eyelashes and slide down her pale face. He could tell she was trying to fight away the flood of tears that were on the verge of falling.
He held her hand gently. "Don't think that it's your fault…its not."
"I know." She whispered. More tears started to fall.
Remus let his head fall forward and let out his breath in a soft sigh.
"It's war isn't it?" Tonks said quietly, more to herself then to him. "I mean- that's what its all about- dying for something greater than yourself- dying to protect people you love…"
He nodded trying to push away his earlier grief that was threatening to come back again.
"Oh…Remus." Tonks gasped. He looked up to see her turn back to face him- her eyes brimming with tears. In a second- they were in each other's arms- holding onto each other as if they were the other's only refuge from the overwhelming grief that was crashing down upon them.
"It's not fair…" Tonks said with a shuddering breath. "It's not fair…"