Herp derp. I can't update my other Story in Progress (Shots of War) because my computer died and I can't find the file I saved the chappie on. Beware of Asian stereotypes.

Disclaimer: *bad Donald Trump voice* Jina~

Snip, snip

"Okay, try it now."

USUK girl pressed a button on the machine, or as we call it, Boardus von Cardberg, and fed it a box set of Hetalia manga. It whirred a little, making those sounds similar to a computer starting up, with the little clicks. Then it died down.

"Should we restart?"

"No, wait. It's heating up."

Then we heard a loud bang within the box and we flipped the fuck out. I dived into the corner of the room. USUK girl kind of just curled up where she was. "How is that possible?! The box is only five by five!"

"Well, if you haven't noticed in the many years you've been here, this place is crazy. Or maybe we just created some sort of limbo in that thing."

There was another banging sound, a few knocks, and muffled cursing. "Whatever this is, it's human. Probably." I added.

"Probably?!" USUK girl grabbed a PVC pipe from a nearby work table.

I had a death grip on the paring knife I used in place of a box cutter "Personified nations aren't human. Nor are Pictonians. Or mochis. And they all speak McDonald's! I think! And curse!"

Not the best time for memes, but 'McDonald's' is easier to say than 'American English' and still gets the point across.

More knocking and intelligible curses in... German, probably. And a few Chinese phrases."There's more than one person in that thing." Add in some French.

"Should we open it?" We hear something, definitely McDonald's.

And so one of the worst choices in my life came into existence.

"Okay."

We went to opposite sides of the box, where the latches were. One, two, three. We flipped them open.

The cover got pushed open by a very disgruntled German, and a bunch of other nations piled on top of him.

"Bloody- get off!"

"Amerika, stop touching my ass."

"Uh, sorry..." America didn't sound that remorseful, now that I think about it.

"Vee~"

"My back..."

"Aiya! I'm older than you and I don't have back problems!"

USUK girl just sat there looking from America to England, back and forth, like a rabid dog or something. Oh hell no, man, not after a possibly traumatizing box experience.

I dragged her away from the nation pile. "Godammit, USUK girl. We gotta put this place on lockdown or something before they're surrounded by fangirls!"

"My name is Ashley."

"Whatever, get water and cup ramen from the Dinner hall. Lots of it. I have a feeling we'll be staying in here for a while." I steered her to the door and shut it. "Recite the beginning of Pub & Go when you get back. Hurry."

I don't know if it's a blessing or a curse that there's no window on the door. So I started texting James.

'come over to the engineering room i need serious help'

'im testing out 3d maneuver gear right now'

'Saraf (1) im the only one standing between a personified nation pile and crazy fangirls'

He didn't reply, so he's either being eaten by a titan or on his way. Probably the latter. Then I messaged Angelica, Sake, and some other people.

Sake's bringing more tacos, and Angelica got out of her detention thing with an old school razor... I really don't want to know how she did that. Marie was stuck watching a Grey's Anatomy marathon, and Connor's bringing a book on analytical manifolds, whatever the fuck that is. I swear, he's an egg (2). Emiko was working on a MAP(3) with some other people.

Bring it on, world. I'm fucking ready for the fanpocalypse.

So it's thirty minutes in, the squad's over, but USUK girl still isn't here. I'm really tempted to drill a peephole in the door, but I don't want to replace it... I grab a drill and turn it on. Just a small hole... Oh god there's a crowd outside. Godammit, person, get over here already.

A while later she's running over with some people. "Ore no namae wa Igirisu da. Seishiki meishou wa 'Gureeto Buriten oyobi hokubu Airurando Rengou Oukoku'. Ato de tesuto ni dasu kara na! Bleh, whatever, I brought some people. And I got the stuff"

"One of them better be Aaron. Otherwise, take out the Hetalians."

"Why?"

"I don't want the countries to be freaked out. I already sort of explained the situation but I was waiting for you. And Aaron's the only other one in our little box group."

After some negotiating USUK girl brought in a pack of water, ramen, and three or four people. "So why are we stuck in here?"

"We're waiting out the crowd, which might take a long time. Someone help me carry the work table."

"You are not going to blockade the door. How are we going to get more food?"

I motion to the window. "We go through the window. Chances are, it won't open all the way but we'll figure something out later."

Germany cleared his throat "Uhm, can you explain what's going on now?"

USUK girl was amazed "He can talk without an accent?!"

I facepalm "He's a nation, he can do anything. 'Murica, do the Donald Trump."

America does the OK hand sign, squints, and puckers his lips. "Jina~"

"See? Your argument is now invalid. Now, you personified country life forms, what happened is that we made Boardus von Cardberg, which sort of transported you over here. We are currently under siege by some... Uh, people who are really bent on seeing you guys. We'll be fine. Most likely. So basically, we wait this thing out, make sure you guys will be fine, and then we can have some intense UN meeting-type discussion over what happens next or something."

"Would it be a good idea to tell them they're in the real world?" Sake asks me in a low tone.

"I'm not going to break the fourth wall for them." I shrug.

Russia coughs. "So, uh, what do we do now?"

"We wait. You can go find a way to lift the meme ban."

And so we wait. Connor talks to the Asian countries about analytic manifolds, which they actually seem to understand. England somehow burned water ("It spontaneously combusted!"), America watched Ben Shapiro Thug Life with Russia, and Italy made pasta with the ramen noodle and some alfredo sauce he had on himself. Russia actually tried to lift the meme ban at one point, but he got an earful from Putin's secretary.

"Hey, Angelica... So how did you get out of detention?"

"Okay, so you texted me, and the teacher person just handed me that old school razor." She holds it out. "I guess he thought I would have to fight through the crowd or something..."

James was pretty incredulous "I thought you killed someone since you said 'got out with a razor'"

Sake, being reasonable, replied "You would have if you came over now."

I turn over to USUK girl "Hey, you, did we call Aaron over yet?"

"My name is Ashley!"

"Okay, but is he coming."

"He's boarded up in his dorm 'cause everyone's asking him about this."

"Go talk to him. He's probably freaking out."

She rolls her eyes "You do it."

Meanwhile, the nations clumped together in a corner, all disoriented over their current predicament. China and Japan had bonded with the young German-American man, with whom they were currently discussing complicated math stuff.

France and England were having a small cat fight, which everyone ignored mainly because it was fairly common for them to do so.

Italy was making more ramen-pasta, while his brother complained about the weirdness of it.

Prussia tried to troll people without much success, and Germany continued to chew him out for it.

Russia was suffering from a small cold, since his boss was wrecking the economy by beefing up his military. He just sat in the corner, coughing at times.

America was concerned for the Russian, because okay, okay, he'll admit it... He kind of liked him. Besides, negative economic growth! That can't be good for anyone! No wonder he was freaking everyone out.

But he needs to address the bigger problem, which is that Russia won't respond to any of his advances. At all. Is he getting friendzoned? Does he not like him? Oh god, what if Putin used his homophobe powers to brainwash him? He's an ex-KGB dude, for fuck's sake!

Okay, okay, he should calm down... Where the fuck is Mattie? Fuck, what if he's battling martians by himself? What if North Korea tried to bomb him? Hell, what if China did a trading embargo on him- no, wait, China's right here, so he can't do that, but still! Nobody hurts his sweet little bro!

"whAT HAPPENED TO MATTIE?!"

The Asian girl with the paring knife grabs him by the shoulders "Dude, chill, he's fine. We can call him over if you want... Probably."

"BUT WHAT IF ETHIOPIA THREATENS HIM? I SHOULD BE PROTECTING HIM!" He shrieks, gesticulating wildly.

Russia grabs his hand. "Trust me, he'll be alright. Your brother is stronger than you think."

America starts to blush a deep red. "... But... What if he needs my help?"

"He'll be fine."

The Asian kid runs over to the fanatical shipping one. "You think Monsieur Cardberg can do another round?"

"It should be Herr, actually, 'cause Cardberg isn't French. I guess it'll work, but we need some Hetalia."

(1) James's last name... He's Indian!

(2) White on the outside, yellow on the inside.

(3) Multi-artist project

I'm feeling pretty chill, so I'll be accepting suggestions for pairings! This includes OCs and stuff.

Don't forget to review! It keeps me happy~

Edit: Guest-kun has reminded me: PM me your suggestions, doing it on reviews sort of breaks ff rules